Dammit! Plates starting to drop off...

[Greasy Pig]

I know peaks in dating are inevitably followed by deep troughs but I'm still quite bummed at the moment.

The hot MILF from 18 years ago I only recently started banging appears to have fallen by the wayside.
I got pretty angry with her last week because she told her mother (whom I know) that she was just hanging out with me as a friend and that I'm a closet homo!! WTF??? As she's just split from her husband, she didn't want her mum to lecture her about fvcking someone else so soon so she made up that shyt!!!
She could've said anything but that as she lives in a small town where I still know people. I just told her she'd made a huge error of judgment saying shyt about me to save her own skin and I'd appreciate it if she set the record straight. (no pun intended).
Since then she's been very distant and cold. Oh well, at least I got to bang her after 18 years of working on it.

Plate 2 recently texted to say she's started seeing someone seriously. She was slightly crazy but manageable and great in the sack. But I'm not too upset.

Plate 3 is a friend of my sister so it was always going to be tough. But she hasn't replied to my last two messages. Once again, not overly concerned.

I guess I'm just p1ssed off that I've gone from 5 plates to two almost overnight.
I know the answer is to always "spin more plates" but I guess my ego has tsken a bit of a hit and I'm not looking forward to starting the groundwork process all over again.

Anyone got any recovery tips or even tips on how better to keep those plates spinning? I know nothing lasts forever, so I'm not sitting at home masturbating and using my tears as lube.
But others' experiences and insights would be helpful.

Cheers.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear GP,
Amazing isn't it?......They seem to slip through your hands like water...Trick is to have several irons in the fire at once,always keep auditioning,and have a flow of New Girls in the wings.....To do this requires a variety of social interests,which you need to be constantly expanding as you soon get a reputation.

 

[slickone]

Losing plates

Plates in my life have always been in a state of flux

There are plates that were or are good friends who we found fvcking was fun but we didn't get too involved in feelings or each other's lives

I have a 7 year FB/plate who I care deeply for but I'm not in love with

Plates that are temporary. Plates that come and go and come back

If you are a halfway decent guy and you fvck them good most plates will rotate in and out of your life

They may find a new FB or boyfriend or even spouse but if you are a strong ALPHA they will ALWAYS come back for more.


Recently I got stuck on this HB7 FB of one year. She stung me about a month ago with the LJBF BS

I fvcked her good last week but also fvcked about 10 other chicks in the last month.

I got stuck on her because my plates were diminishing.

I have some new plates. I have some old keepers.

I'm in a better place with this HB7 because I need to keep her in the FB frame.

When she comes back I will decide if she is worth my time and c0ck


Guess the best advice would be to have lots of plates maintain the ones you like find new ones and try not to get too attached to any of them

 

[Zarky]

This has inspired me to write a blog post on plates, or as I call them, "planets."

 

[drak_ool]

I know the answer is to always "spin more plates" but I guess my ego has tsken a bit of a hit and I'm not looking forward to starting the groundwork process all over again.

You can't have your cake and eat it too... Can't live the single life, be free to roam around with no commitments on your part, yet at the same time require your plates to commit to you. Given that, plate spinning is always a fluid process. As old plates slip out of your life, you need to constantly be on the lookout for new plates.

In my view, the curse and the blessing of the true DJ is that he is always on the lookout for new girls. Sure, the "groundwork" as you call it can be taxing. But so is maintaining a serious LTR.

As far as your ego, again, remember the fluid nature of plate-spinning. These girls could have decided to move on for a number of reasons, not the least of them that they found some chump who would actually settle for them. Depending on a girl's age, sooner or later she will leave you for the guy who is willing to settle with her, no matter how tight your game is.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Words of wisdom from you all. Thanks!

I've been in this situation before and it always seems to be either "feast" or "famine" with plates.
I have to learn to keep a steady conga line waiting to be let through the door.

I guess it's easy to become complacent when you're in the land of milk and honey, when really you should be preparing for the drought.

One thing I realise now is that "the game" never ends.
By "the game", I mean the war with yourself.
So yesterday I bought a couple of new outfits and I'm ready to start casting my nets again.
The saga continues!

 

[TonyBaloney]

Dear GP,
Amazing isn't it?......They seem to slip through your hands like water...Trick is to have several irons in the fire at once,always keep auditioning,and have a flow of New Girls in the wings.....To do this requires a variety of social interests,which you need to be constantly expanding as you soon get a reputation.

Very wise words from a veteran.

I am always on the lookout-on the move. I guess you could say that I move like Jagger Rolling stone you have to be to lead this life the right way..... A players life can be a lonely life, especially when old friends have settled down. Also a bad thing to keep up a playboy image as one advances in age. The trick is to be discreet, and keep moving.

I know ehat you mean about losing plates. The last couple of years have been like this for me.... Awkward, cos when you establish it in a blase way, they know the score, and walk whenever they want, as we do. As you say, the trouble always is groundwork!

Scaremouche - Whats your recorded number of lays? How where you goin in your 40's? Get alot? What kinda ages were they? 20's, 30's, 40s??

 

[disgustipated]

So what's the move? Or is there none? When they ask whatever question about exclusivety or what your looking for? Tell them you are just dating at the moment or do you lie? My brother told em all the truth, I guess this is wonderful leverage for competition. I'm ready to stop putting all my eggs in one basket so to say, not oneitis, but moreso I stop pursuing other options when I'm first dating a bird....see where it goes....rinse, repeat.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

So what's the move? Or is there none? When they ask whatever question about exclusivety or what your looking for? Tell them you are just dating at the moment or do you lie? My brother told em all the truth, I guess this is wonderful leverage for competition. I'm ready to stop putting all my eggs in one basket so to say, not oneitis, but moreso I stop pursuing other options when I'm first dating a bird....see where it goes....rinse, repeat.

I told a chick once I was just not looking for anything serious at the time -- she still texts me to this day and said next time I'm in Seattle we'd go out. She said she appreciated me being honest and even now 1+ yr later she still contacts. In some ways by saying you're not seeking exclusivity, it assumes that you have other options or interests. This does likely breed competition anxiety. IL goes UP.

@OP --

Sounds like you'll find some new plates just fine. Don't let it bum you out man! :rockon:

 

[Greasy Pig]

Yeah, trying to stay positive and viewing the whole situation as an opportunity more than a liability.

And only one of these girls pressed for exclusivity and I just told her I'm at a stage in life where serious relationships just aren't on my radar.

 

[Jonnybangbang]

More cold approaches at this juncture i would say. Keeps your confidence level up, keeps things more interesting and ignites more frame with every approach. Annnnd, in turn, creates more plates. Whether plates get too cold or hot, they drop...


Keep on spinning in a free world

 

[tryst type]

This was posted just as I myself started realizing the same issue.

What I've discovered (as others have already mentioned) that I wasn't too keen on before in previous years, was that to constantly keep seeking new plates to spin no matter how attractive that last girl was or how high her interest level seemed.

This is the best way in maintaining an "ego" because we all feel it at one point or another when it takes a hit.

Also, the faster you set up a "date" or get together, the faster you realize it doesn't matter if that particular girl contacts you again or not. It's like a victory regardless if the battle continues on.

Important thing to keep in mind is that it's always a numbers game no matter how alpha you think you are. That realization saved me loads of stress.