damm roommate

[MacAvoy]

I've made 2 threads about her in the past. Nothing for a couple of months. Back in late January, we were drinking in her room, she kissed me, there was some petting but I wasn't able to seal the deal. The next morning, I was hungover & horny, tried again (stupid move) and got shut down but she let me caress her for a good while before she totally forced herself out of bed.

Woke up a few more times after that in her bed but again it was nothing more than drunken stupour. Luckily she took off to New Zealand for a month and that was a great cooling off period.

Fast forward to Friday, nothing for months, she calls me up asks me if I'm at home, when I say yes, she says want anything at the beer store, says she don't want to go home alone, I say sure, we have some drinks, go to the bar, I choose to leave early and come home.

She comes home a few hours later, lies in my bed, awakes me, we start kissing, I try to go for more but strike out. Last night she asks me to go for a drink after the hockey game, I agree, we go out, come back, I'm not that drunk, had a feeling it was gonna happen again.

So I decide to try again, we kiss, then she was like why do we always do this. We went to her room but everytime I went to go on top of her to escalate, she was like we can't. I booked the day off work and I'm debating how to handle it from here.

How do I escalate? I don't care about the drama, I'm willing to move when it doesnt work out. I always want what I'm not suppose to have so I won't be happy until I hit it. Pointers?

 

[WestCoaster]

1. Don't "room" or live with women. Waste of time. Get your own place.

2. You've limited yourself to one woman you're pining after, it sounds miserable. Date many, or at least date one other person, not this nutjob.

3. Quit obsessing with oneitis, it's contrary to every belief on this board.

4. Did I say date others? I've never understood why dating others or dating many (plate spinning) is so frowned upon? Oh yeah, we live in a stupid Victorian/Euro based society which frowns on men exploring their options.

5. I can't believe you're putting yourself through this stupidity.

6. If you want to "escalate" you move on to other women.

7. This woman is playing you like a fiddle.

 

[squirrels]

What do you mean by "striking out"? Is she giving you an explicit rejection? Or are you just shutting it down at the first sign of resistance?

She's supposed to resist...she doesn't want to see herself as a "slvt". It's up to you to get her warmed up. If she outright rejects you, get up and leave...or if she's in your bed, kick her out. Don't be mean or rude about it...you just have better things to do. Don't just be her cuddle-buddy.

And yeah...three threads about one girl? Play the field a little. Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder. When girls start leaving your room with a smile and a funny walk, she'll wonder what's so great about it.

 

[Skel]

I agree with WC. Treat her as a roomate and not as a date. Sounds like she is playing you.

 

[WaterTiger]

OKAY< First of all!

*Stop trying to boink your "roommate". It's a business arrangment, not an orgy. If she gets thinking it and decides she doesn't like sexing you she could up and leave three days before the rent is due and you'll be screwed. And not in a good way!

*If it's HER name on the lease, you stand a magnificent chance of being thrown out. (Three days after you've paid the rent)

*Date other women! Lots of them! Why are you sitting at home, trying to get it on with a chick that keeps slipping through your fingers? Go find another girl you can get a grip on! (Be sure to tell your roomie how much fun you had with the other girls!)

 

[decades]

stop drinking so much so you can think

 

[WestCoaster]

Great post WaterTiger ... how come Wyldfire and other women on here don't adopt the DJ principles, which not only improve the man, but also the woman.

Agree, it'sa business deal, not an orgy -- great line.

 

[MacAvoy]

What a bunch of wimps on this board. Everyone is so scared to put themselves out there. I have been sleeping with other women. I haven't been obsessing about her, its something thats been in the background and just came to the foreground.

Its her apartment, I would be the one out on the street. My life has always been about an adventure, and I'm willing to take that risk.

I'll eat somewhere else if I choose to sh1t here today. I'm not going to pass up on a steak because I'm afraid that I'll get food poisoning. You can't live your life where your afraid to make a move because your afraid of what will happen down the road.

My only fear is becoming a cuddle buddy. I haven't been flat out rejected, just ASD. I've never been good at getting over ASD.

edit: I just read the intimacy surrogate thread. Its been two sessions recently and if I'm going to avoid being a surrogate, I've got to get it to the next level, the next time it goes anywhere. I think part of the problem (which is probably the attraction as well) is that she's seen more of the way my mind works, how jaded it is than almost any other women because I never hid anything from her cuz she was never a target. She even told me that I have an evil streak in me last night. I think thats what scaring her abit, combined with the whole roommmate thing and general ASD.

 

[squirrels]

What a bunch of wimps on this board. Everyone is so scared to put themselves out there. I have been sleeping with other women. I haven't been obsessing about her, its something thats been in the background and just came to the foreground.

Its her apartment, I would be the one out on the street. My life has always been about an adventure, and I'm willing to take that risk.

I'll eat somewhere else if I choose to sh1t here today. I'm not going to pass up on a steak because I'm afraid that I'll get food poisoning. You can't live your life where your afraid to make a move because your afraid of what will happen down the road.

My only fear is becoming a cuddle buddy. I haven't been flat out rejected, just ASD. I've never been good at getting over ASD.

Just be careful...it's a hard line to walk (when you're involved with a woman but not getting what you want out of her) between her just being "a side project you don't care about" and a "one-itis". Make sure you're not kidding yourself. Chasing women should be fun...if it's not, something is wrong.

 

[jophil28]

Your own compulsive need to "have what you don't have" is driving your behavior. This is a primitive motivation.
Stop and think for a moment - you want to F**K her bad, and have tried several times. She is VERY aware of her VALUE to you and she has jacked the price up because she senses(knows) your powerlessness over your need to bang her. This is a classic case of "man chases woman and woman runs away" .. and plays "hard to get" .
She is doing what she is doing because you are NEEDY and she knows all about her POWER over you.
The greatest victory that you can achieve here is not to bang her, but to take control of your compulsion to endlessly pursue what you cannot have.
Walk away and then you become MASTER of you.. ( she might even chase you then ! )

 

[STR8UP]

edit: I just read the intimacy surrogate thread. Its been two sessions recently and if I'm going to avoid being a surrogate, I've got to get it to the next level, the next time it goes anywhere.

I was going to suggest that you might want to check out that thread.

Thing is, we get so wrapped up in the moment thinking with our little head instead if the big one, and before you know it you're left with a hard d!ck wondering what the hell just happened.

Us men just need to be more conscious of making sure we aren't deluding ourselves with any one female. You want some pu$$y, and she wants validation. She gets what she wants, and leaves you high and dry.

The one chick I mentioned in that thread....I KNOW I was turning her on. Her pu$$y was soaking wet. I also tried to get her to give me head and she said "Trust me, I would LOVE to, but I can't". She was getting sex from someone else, but wasn't getting enough kissy and spooning time, so she would dangle the carrot just out of my reach to get what she wanted at my expense. WRONG.

Is this girl fukking anyone? I would bet she is. Unless she has some religious BS going on, a woman doesn't sit on the bench. They are always playing.

 

[penkitten]

mac, i remember responding to you about one of your previous threads on this chick and for the life of me i can not remember what was going on at the time.
can you give us a link to the old posts for a back story?

 

[penkitten]

double post

 

[jophil28]

I agree with BB above. She is playing you to the max.You are caught in the centuries old female pvssy trap ..She is having the time of her life because SHE is in control and your relentless and unsuccessful attempts to F**K her make you OUT OF CONTROL ...

Get a grip on the reality of this situation and Hit DELETE now dude.
( She does not want sex when you do because SHE can get it from you anytime SHE wants)

 

[MacAvoy]

Penkitten here are the other threads, however I didn't see you post in any of them.

Original thread

The she likes porn thread

Roommate part two thread

 

[penkitten]

Penkitten here are the other threads, however I didn't see you post in any of them.

Original thread

The she likes porn thread

Roommate part two thread

sorry mac must have had you mixed up with someone else .
from what i gather in this post, she acts interested in you but wont close the deal and stops it.
maybe shes scared or maybe there just arent any sparks there.
its hard to say.
when she kisses you, does she act like she is interested ?

 

[LoneSilver]

Ok I don't think it's you bro not sure of all the details but something tells me this babe has some health issues not mental but you know maybe something down there or something and is a bit mixed up in want to do and maybe she isn't comfortable yet to let you know but I could be wrong.

Then again is she a virgin?

The worst thing is to beat yourself up over this.

LoneSilver

I've made 2 threads about her in the past. Nothing for a couple of months. Back in late January, we were drinking in her room, she kissed me, there was some petting but I wasn't able to seal the deal. The next morning, I was hungover & horny, tried again (stupid move) and got shut down but she let me caress her for a good while before she totally forced herself out of bed.

Woke up a few more times after that in her bed but again it was nothing more than drunken stupour. Luckily she took off to New Zealand for a month and that was a great cooling off period.

Fast forward to Friday, nothing for months, she calls me up asks me if I'm at home, when I say yes, she says want anything at the beer store, says she don't want to go home alone, I say sure, we have some drinks, go to the bar, I choose to leave early and come home.

She comes home a few hours later, lies in my bed, awakes me, we start kissing, I try to go for more but strike out. Last night she asks me to go for a drink after the hockey game, I agree, we go out, come back, I'm not that drunk, had a feeling it was gonna happen again.

So I decide to try again, we kiss, then she was like why do we always do this. We went to her room but everytime I went to go on top of her to escalate, she was like we can't. I booked the day off work and I'm debating how to handle it from here.

How do I escalate? I don't care about the drama, I'm willing to move when it doesnt work out. I always want what I'm not suppose to have so I won't be happy until I hit it. Pointers?

 

[Hitman10000]

Why is there a discussion with this? MacAvoy, I like your attitude (not) "If I gotta have it, I'll go take it" then you should know you will take full responsibility for whatever happens. And from this case, that girl is simply stringing you along as well. Does she have reduced rent or free rent as well? I bet. You know, it's one thing getting flirt action and still being friends with that quasi-interested girl, but it's another being taken for a chump-ride.

 

[Latinoman]

You obviously can't associate yourself with positive environment.

Now...the question is why?

And the answer could be because you want the drama a negative environment brings to you...or you can't associate with positive environment because you lack the tools/life control.

Can you answer the question? Once you do...then you will know what to do.