Dad is pissed off at me

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Long story short, he is mad at me for being self sufficient. I help myself, improve myself, don't give a flying fvck about what anyone says, but dammit, he's my dad and is acting like some of the crazies you all post about here. I mean he tries his fvcking hardest to guilt trip me, but I refuse to feel any guilt or remorse because he was the biggest fvcking reason for me being an afc when I was young (but that's another story). He says i'm too selfish and I told him that he is the same way because he never listens to anyone's opinions (he's stubborn as fvck) and always twists words around with what people say and try and manipulate people so fvcking much (sound familiar?). I told him his ego is too big for himself too. The only help he does is bring food home (sometimes) and bring money home. Other than that he doesn't care about anything and isn't involved in our lives at all.

I'm sick of it honestly. How do I get him to stop and just leave me alone?

 

[AttackFormation]

How do I get him to stop and just leave me alone?

The standard procedure. Nod and agree when he tells you his garbage, let it go out the other ear and then proceed to do what you were going to do.

 

[Obsidian]

I find it hard to believe that he would be mad at you for being self-sufficient.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Parents... despite their illogical behavior, unless they molest you or are otherwise evil, they are trying their best to raise you, so you should still love them.

However, for many (most?) parents that "best" is a pretty low standard. The reality is that most adults are grown up children who have no idea how to properly raise their kids from a phychological point of view. They are self-centered, frustrated and generally losers. Harsh truth !

Unfortunately, most people feel entitled to have kids...

Like the above posters said, try to avoid arguing (you have no chance to convince him otherwise, so it's pointless to argue) and go your own way. He might complain, but try not to get your validation from his opinion of you.

Unfortunately, nowadays the Internet is a much better place than "real life" for the formation of manly men. -- only some select sites, of course.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I know what you mean. My mother's the same way. I had a post ranting about her here not too long ago.

You just have to ignore them and put a good face on for a few minutes (or if he's like my mom a few hours) when you're around them. Then you can say basically fvck off and live the rest of your day.

The standard procedure. Nod and agree when he tells you his garbage, let it go out the other ear and then proceed to do what you were going to do.

It's what i normally do, but he will try to do things to start a fight even though he says he doesn't want me around. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

I find it hard to believe that he would be mad at you for being self-sufficient.

I know, I can hardly believe it myself, too.
[QUOTEMidnightCity]when i began through the shift on my own about 10 years ago i remember my co worker (partners for 5 years) began being standoffish with me for no reason. people are afraid of things they dont understand. and seeing you one way their whole life and then changing frightens and confuses them. they seek the familiarity and want to keep you in that category they placed you in in their heads. i once had to walk off the job before we ended up fist fighting because he accused me of having an attitude lol?. he had no idea how to explain the shift he was witnessing.

seriously though move out asap or spend as little time around your old man and keep pushing through. eventually he'll accept the changes in you hes witnessing as genuine and bother you less. but these people are very bad for your self improvement so get away asap.[/QUOTE]
I began improving about 3-4 years ago (naturally, not lurking this site). But I'm talking about recently, he's been an @sshole.

The reality is that most adults are grown up children who have no idea how to properly raise their kids from a phychological point of view. They are self-centered, frustrated and generally losers. Harsh truth

Thats actualy very true.

 

[Tictac]

If you live under their roofs and whine like this, it's pathetic.

If you're on your own, you don't have to listen.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you live under their roofs and whine like this, it's pathetic.

If you're on your own, you don't have to listen.

Ya cuz at the age of 16, not even out of high school yet, I have a steady income of $2,000,000 as well as a ferrari 458 plus a cadillac collection and can afford to buy my own place, but just so happen to CHOOSE to still live with my parents. You think maybe I should move out?

I get where you're coming from, but dude, I'm not 64 just yet. I got a few decades to go and work for all that stuff like (I'm assuming) you have. Gimme a break.

 

[Tictac]

Ya cuz at the age of 16, not even out of high school yet, I have a steady income of $2,000,000 as well as a ferrari 458 plus a cadillac collection and can afford to buy my own place, but just so happen to CHOOSE to still live with my parents. You think maybe I should move out?

I get where you're coming from, but dude, I'm not 64 just yet. I got a few decades to go and work for all that stuff like (I'm assuming) you have. Gimme a break.

_____________

suum domus , suum sceptrum

 

[Obsidian]

Ya cuz at the age of 16, not even out of high school yet, I have a steady income of $2,000,000 as well as a ferrari 458 plus a cadillac collection and can afford to buy my own place, but just so happen to CHOOSE to still live with my parents. You think maybe I should move out?

Then you aren't self-sufficient, and that's not what is bothering your father.

 

[Boxer00]

I'm sick of it honestly. How do I get him to stop and just leave me alone?

Respect your father. If you don't like how it is at home move out on your own. It's about time you did.

 

[Epimanes]

If he puts food on your table.. A roof over your head.. You should be pulling. Your weight in the home like a room mate. Don't whine.. Bytch and complain. If you don't like what goes on in your home the move the F out.. You will soon realize that living with your parents for mostly free has a lot of benifits and one day be wishing you didint leave and had of listened to your parents in the first place. If your not paying bills.. You should be picking up the slack on chores. In our home.. (I have a 17yo daughter and 11yo son) everyone works together and everyone plays together.. No one likes doing work while the slackers and freeloaders of the house sit on their azzes on their phones/PC's/consoles and expect to be waited on while the bread winners do everything. Everyone helps with dinner.. Everyone helps with house cleaning.. Everyone helps with yard work. This way no one is resentful that they are the only ones working and then the jobs get done faster and EVERYONE can sit down at the end of the day and relax a lot sooner. Of course again you can always move out.. Buy your own food.. Pay your own rent/mortgage.. And throw most of your money down the drain because you don't like the rules and happenings of your home.. Heck I did.. Been living with my wife now since we were 17.. And together since 15 and 16... But then again my mom was on welfare and we didn't have much food.. Or electronics.. And I left because the burden of the home was put on me while my mom just sat around all day while I went to school collecting welfare..

Think long and hard... Moving out is a huge financial drain... Wish I had a functioning home I could have stayed in for a lot longer..

Epi

 

[Obsidian]

The point is this: Your dad might be really obnoxious for all we know, but I just don't appreciate the intellectual dishonesty of coming on here and telling us that he is mad at you for being self-sufficient. That's ridiculous.

 

[G_Govan]

You have any examples? Like others I find it really hard to believe your father is angry over your self sufficiency.

Usually it's the complete opposite. You tend to make your parents, especially your father, proud because he knows what challenges we face in life as men. Guys who pull their own weight get respect in any culture.

He'd have to be a complete nutcase to feel resentment for this.

 

[PipeDope]

Maybe he doesn't think you ARE the DoubleGreatest?

Thank you, I can die happy now.


OP, what do you do to have a 2m$ income. I'm 23 making 200k$ a year and I thought I was a step above most. Films? Singer-songwriter? Inventions?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The point is this: Your dad might be really obnoxious for all we know, but I just don't appreciate the intellectual dishonesty of coming on here and telling us that he is mad at you for being self-sufficient. That's ridiculous.

Alright well I apologize for perhaps a misleading description. I meant that I am as self-sufficient as I can be. When he asks me for help, I'll help him. Sometimes if he's doing something that I think he needs help with, I'll ask him if he does need help. And here is my main issue; when I ask him, he'll say "yes I do need help, I shouldn't have to tell you. You should help me on your own." And I wouldn't know what to help him out with. So I would ask what he wanted me to do and he would say "I don't know, go find something to do". Most of the time he doesn't even know what i can help with, he just gets mad at me. I'm doing better than most of my siblings in just about all aspects of life. They are lazy as hell (well not so much my brother, but my sisters, damn.....), yet he doesn't get mad at them. He just gave my older sister a laptop and a phone simply because she graduated high school (just barely at that btw) and she broke the laptop within 2 days. Talk about irresponsible.

Whatever, part of this was a vent so call me a b!tch for b!tching, I guess. It's frustrating how he is so mad at me for something so simple though.

 

[Obsidian]

I don't feel like your description gives us enough of the whole dynamic to really analyze your situation. But in that specific scenario: If he's gonna be rude to you, then just don't offer to help him. Let him shoot himself in the foot that way. No telling what might be running through his mind, but don't reward that behavior. Avoid it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I

I don't feel like your description gives us enough of the whole dynamic to really analyze your situation. But in that specific scenario: If he's gonna be rude to you, then just don't offer to help him. Let him shoot himself in the foot that way. No telling what might be running through his mind, but don't reward that behavior. Avoid it.

Extra details: I was arguing with him because I don't want to move. Half my family was feeling the same way I do (he shouldn't have focused his anger just on me, which is why I don't believe that this is the reason, but something underlying), but I've accepted it now. Regardless, time appears to be the best remedy for this as tensions are easing up between us now. Anyway, I'll try to avoid him more from now on then. Thx guys.