Or
He Just Never Learns the First Time, Or the Second
In May of 2012, a bleeding AFC named DAardwolf stumbled into the Manosphere searching for answers. He had many, many lady friends but none wanted him for his manliness, only for his ability to listen and say kind words. In his mind, DA thought he should be happy to have the adoration of so many ladies but he felt awful. “What is wrong with me?” he thought, “that so many attractive women enjoy my company but none my lust or desire?”
DA turned to cyberspace to find answers. He found groups of angry men, of bitter men, of men in denial. He kept searching through the groups, looking for one that made sense.
DA found such a group. This one had a unique message. “It's about you, stupid,” they said. “Take this...”
Looking at the Red Pill, DA hesitated. “How can this be about me? I am a good guy. I have the things women want.”
Mocking laughter surrounded DA. “You're not a good guy, you're a Nice Guy. Take the Red Pill...”
And so he did. DAardwolf saw it was all about him. It was his self-esteem, it was his drive, his passion, his wants and needs. He saw his hesitation and tentativeness and shyness for what they were: He thought of himself as a piece of sh!t.
So he learned new words and phrases: AFC, orbiter, cluster-B, hypergamy, kino, funny-****y, “Hesitation is like masturbation,” “You are the prize,” and “Guard your heart” (which he would ignore months later).
And so DA gathered the many women to which he was an AFC orbiter. “You,” he said to one, “what do you offer me?”
She smiled brightly. “I offer you a chance to take me out, to buy me beverages and food, and in return, I shall tell you of my day, of my fight with my boyfriend, and hug you really good!”
“But it is your body I desire, your lips, your breasts, not your shallow mind or idiotic words!”
And this one cried, wailing of betrayal, that “all men want is one thing.” And DA never heard from her again.
“You,” he said to another, “what do you offer?”
“I'll take you out and get you drunk or stoned as fvck, and I'll pay, and I'll drive. Because you are fun!”
“But,” DA said, “there is more that I want. What of that?”
“Oh!” she exclaimed, surprised. “I had no idea you wanted me in that way. Take your d!ck out and I'll service you now.”
And he did, and she did.
DA went through every phone number in his cell phone. Almost all were dismissed, deleted forever.
The second to last was an ex-girlfriend. She would call and chat from time to time. She would invite DA to dinner and movies. But she had sex off the table. “LJBF” was another term DA had learned, and so he challenged her.
“I no longer have a use for women who want nothing more than a domestic evening with me. Let me show you my desire and passion and you can either reject it or accept it.”
“Oh! The men I date now are so muted and nice compared to this. I invite you to my bed, to satiate my carnal needs. Other men shall fulfill my other whims. I desire you.”
From that point on, DA would call upon his fvck-buddy once or twice a month.
To the last woman he asked, “Do you understand my desire for you?”
“Oh, yes! I like it, and welcome it.”
“But my desire is not a plaything. It is not for your self-esteem. It is not meant to make you feel good but for me to feel alive! If we are to continue to go out drinking together, to hang out, to talk, you must respect that.”
“You have my respect, and I shall offer you my breasts, and my mouth, and my hands, and your desire shall satiated.”
When the mood struck him, DAardwolf unleashed his desire on his friend, who gave him satisfactory benefits.
And so DA continued to work on himself. He became healthier, he got his finances under control, he rejected “LJBF” women and practiced approaching, talking to, and getting more worthy women. He stopped visiting SoSuave. He believed he didn't need it any more.
Then his heart cracked. He fell in love. She said she was in love with him. And then she married another man.
DA became a drunk, his body fell apart, his finances were worse than ever. He distanced himself from his beloved children. He was a mess. He didn't even notice until, one night, he took out a new lady “friend.” She drank and smoked on his dime. She prattled on about boring things, and he simply took it because he thought, once again, he was a piece of sh!t.
Then this woman starting going on about a lover of hers. DAardwolf became enraged. “Stop! I don't want to hear this! You have rejected my desire because you said your heart belongs to another, and yet you are telling me how you have strayed from that one, telling the very man you have just rejected!”
In his righteous anger, DA went back to SoSauve and posted, taking the Red Pill again. Once again he cleaned out the women in his life, keeping only his FB and his FWB. He rolled up his sleeves and worked his a$$ off, getting a promotion that doubled his income. He toned down his drinking and his pot was left untouched. He doubled his efforts in becoming a worthy father to his wonderful children. He turned his crap apartment into a home, bought a new car, and started working out.
DA was quite happy with himself.
Then one day, he heard a story of an AFC that took the most bitter of Red Pills. DA empathized, but thought, “I'm glad that is no longer me. His wife picked him as a Beta to raise children while she satiated her lust with others. She didn't respect his manhood, didn't respect him. She had no desire for him. No, that is no longer me.”
“Excuse me,” said Aardwolf's gut. “I think you need to take an inventory of your life.”
He did. He had his health and his money. He had his children and his hobbies. Every day he made himself busy becoming a man of worth. He set goals and accomplished them. “Yes,” DAardwolf thought to himself. “I am a true Alpha!”
“And yet,” said that voice deep within him, “and yet, when was the last time had sex?”
“There is still much for me to learn. I am and will always be a work in progress. My minor successes will build upon each other and I will then have great successes! In the mean time, I have my FWB and FB.”
“Do you?...”
Confused by this inner voice, this gut feeling, DA called his FB. “Leave your door unlocked,” he told her, “and I will visit your bed late this night.”
“No,” his fvck buddy said. “I am tired. If you are to visit my bed, you will call upon me at a decent hour. You will spend an appropriate amount of time on me, making me feel special and secure. We shall eat and converse and I will tell you of every single conversation I had today, I will tell you of my insecurities of being a mother, I will ask you to move things and fix things and rub my feet. Then, and only then, shall you enter my bedroom.”
DA was confused. “This isn't what we had. This is different. You no longer desire me?”
His FB replied, “We'll talk about this tomorrow, my dear, my love.”
“M'kay,” was all DA countered with. He was mad but also confused. “We'll talk tomorrow.”
DAardwolf went to his Friend with Benefits and told her of his encounter. “I don't think she wants me anymore as a fvck buddy,” he told her.
The FWB laughed. “Of course not! Her desire for you is gone. She wants only to marry you!”
DAardwolf calmed down. Yes, that made sense.
He looked at the pleasing figure of his FWB and lust took his heart. He touched her face, leaned in and-
She turned her head.
“You're silly!” she exclaimed. “I have much to talk about, things that I can tell only you. You will make me feel better about myself and I'll take that happiness to another man and have fun. But for you, tonight, you can only have my doubts, my feelings, my stories. And here, pictures of my cat! And my husband! And my lover!”
DA's FWB prattled on. She knew he was lustful but dodged his advances. His face was clouded with anger but she didn't acknowledge it. Her respect for him was gone.
“I am being ear-fvcked,” he thought, deflated. He smacked her on the thigh. “I'm leaving. I have stuff to do.”
“Fine,” she said angrily. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
“M'kay,” was all DA could say, because he was pissed and confused. “See ya.”
“Damn,” thought DAardwolf. “I let it happen again.”
_______________________________________________________________
This post is mostly to help me sort some sh!t out but feedback is always appreciated.
My gut reaction is to go ninja on both my FB and FWB. It could very well be I don't have any solid plates going because I was using them as a crutch. One wants to marry me, the other wants me to be her freakin' "pretend boyfriend" even though she already has a boyfriend and a husband. Damn, now that I see that in type I see how fvcked up that is....
He Just Never Learns the First Time, Or the Second
In May of 2012, a bleeding AFC named DAardwolf stumbled into the Manosphere searching for answers. He had many, many lady friends but none wanted him for his manliness, only for his ability to listen and say kind words. In his mind, DA thought he should be happy to have the adoration of so many ladies but he felt awful. “What is wrong with me?” he thought, “that so many attractive women enjoy my company but none my lust or desire?”
DA turned to cyberspace to find answers. He found groups of angry men, of bitter men, of men in denial. He kept searching through the groups, looking for one that made sense.
DA found such a group. This one had a unique message. “It's about you, stupid,” they said. “Take this...”
Looking at the Red Pill, DA hesitated. “How can this be about me? I am a good guy. I have the things women want.”
Mocking laughter surrounded DA. “You're not a good guy, you're a Nice Guy. Take the Red Pill...”
And so he did. DAardwolf saw it was all about him. It was his self-esteem, it was his drive, his passion, his wants and needs. He saw his hesitation and tentativeness and shyness for what they were: He thought of himself as a piece of sh!t.
So he learned new words and phrases: AFC, orbiter, cluster-B, hypergamy, kino, funny-****y, “Hesitation is like masturbation,” “You are the prize,” and “Guard your heart” (which he would ignore months later).
And so DA gathered the many women to which he was an AFC orbiter. “You,” he said to one, “what do you offer me?”
She smiled brightly. “I offer you a chance to take me out, to buy me beverages and food, and in return, I shall tell you of my day, of my fight with my boyfriend, and hug you really good!”
“But it is your body I desire, your lips, your breasts, not your shallow mind or idiotic words!”
And this one cried, wailing of betrayal, that “all men want is one thing.” And DA never heard from her again.
“You,” he said to another, “what do you offer?”
“I'll take you out and get you drunk or stoned as fvck, and I'll pay, and I'll drive. Because you are fun!”
“But,” DA said, “there is more that I want. What of that?”
“Oh!” she exclaimed, surprised. “I had no idea you wanted me in that way. Take your d!ck out and I'll service you now.”
And he did, and she did.
DA went through every phone number in his cell phone. Almost all were dismissed, deleted forever.
The second to last was an ex-girlfriend. She would call and chat from time to time. She would invite DA to dinner and movies. But she had sex off the table. “LJBF” was another term DA had learned, and so he challenged her.
“I no longer have a use for women who want nothing more than a domestic evening with me. Let me show you my desire and passion and you can either reject it or accept it.”
“Oh! The men I date now are so muted and nice compared to this. I invite you to my bed, to satiate my carnal needs. Other men shall fulfill my other whims. I desire you.”
From that point on, DA would call upon his fvck-buddy once or twice a month.
To the last woman he asked, “Do you understand my desire for you?”
“Oh, yes! I like it, and welcome it.”
“But my desire is not a plaything. It is not for your self-esteem. It is not meant to make you feel good but for me to feel alive! If we are to continue to go out drinking together, to hang out, to talk, you must respect that.”
“You have my respect, and I shall offer you my breasts, and my mouth, and my hands, and your desire shall satiated.”
When the mood struck him, DAardwolf unleashed his desire on his friend, who gave him satisfactory benefits.
And so DA continued to work on himself. He became healthier, he got his finances under control, he rejected “LJBF” women and practiced approaching, talking to, and getting more worthy women. He stopped visiting SoSuave. He believed he didn't need it any more.
Then his heart cracked. He fell in love. She said she was in love with him. And then she married another man.
DA became a drunk, his body fell apart, his finances were worse than ever. He distanced himself from his beloved children. He was a mess. He didn't even notice until, one night, he took out a new lady “friend.” She drank and smoked on his dime. She prattled on about boring things, and he simply took it because he thought, once again, he was a piece of sh!t.
Then this woman starting going on about a lover of hers. DAardwolf became enraged. “Stop! I don't want to hear this! You have rejected my desire because you said your heart belongs to another, and yet you are telling me how you have strayed from that one, telling the very man you have just rejected!”
In his righteous anger, DA went back to SoSauve and posted, taking the Red Pill again. Once again he cleaned out the women in his life, keeping only his FB and his FWB. He rolled up his sleeves and worked his a$$ off, getting a promotion that doubled his income. He toned down his drinking and his pot was left untouched. He doubled his efforts in becoming a worthy father to his wonderful children. He turned his crap apartment into a home, bought a new car, and started working out.
DA was quite happy with himself.
Then one day, he heard a story of an AFC that took the most bitter of Red Pills. DA empathized, but thought, “I'm glad that is no longer me. His wife picked him as a Beta to raise children while she satiated her lust with others. She didn't respect his manhood, didn't respect him. She had no desire for him. No, that is no longer me.”
“Excuse me,” said Aardwolf's gut. “I think you need to take an inventory of your life.”
He did. He had his health and his money. He had his children and his hobbies. Every day he made himself busy becoming a man of worth. He set goals and accomplished them. “Yes,” DAardwolf thought to himself. “I am a true Alpha!”
“And yet,” said that voice deep within him, “and yet, when was the last time had sex?”
“There is still much for me to learn. I am and will always be a work in progress. My minor successes will build upon each other and I will then have great successes! In the mean time, I have my FWB and FB.”
“Do you?...”
Confused by this inner voice, this gut feeling, DA called his FB. “Leave your door unlocked,” he told her, “and I will visit your bed late this night.”
“No,” his fvck buddy said. “I am tired. If you are to visit my bed, you will call upon me at a decent hour. You will spend an appropriate amount of time on me, making me feel special and secure. We shall eat and converse and I will tell you of every single conversation I had today, I will tell you of my insecurities of being a mother, I will ask you to move things and fix things and rub my feet. Then, and only then, shall you enter my bedroom.”
DA was confused. “This isn't what we had. This is different. You no longer desire me?”
His FB replied, “We'll talk about this tomorrow, my dear, my love.”
“M'kay,” was all DA countered with. He was mad but also confused. “We'll talk tomorrow.”
DAardwolf went to his Friend with Benefits and told her of his encounter. “I don't think she wants me anymore as a fvck buddy,” he told her.
The FWB laughed. “Of course not! Her desire for you is gone. She wants only to marry you!”
DAardwolf calmed down. Yes, that made sense.
He looked at the pleasing figure of his FWB and lust took his heart. He touched her face, leaned in and-
She turned her head.
“You're silly!” she exclaimed. “I have much to talk about, things that I can tell only you. You will make me feel better about myself and I'll take that happiness to another man and have fun. But for you, tonight, you can only have my doubts, my feelings, my stories. And here, pictures of my cat! And my husband! And my lover!”
DA's FWB prattled on. She knew he was lustful but dodged his advances. His face was clouded with anger but she didn't acknowledge it. Her respect for him was gone.
“I am being ear-fvcked,” he thought, deflated. He smacked her on the thigh. “I'm leaving. I have stuff to do.”
“Fine,” she said angrily. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
“M'kay,” was all DA could say, because he was pissed and confused. “See ya.”
“Damn,” thought DAardwolf. “I let it happen again.”
_______________________________________________________________
This post is mostly to help me sort some sh!t out but feedback is always appreciated.
My gut reaction is to go ninja on both my FB and FWB. It could very well be I don't have any solid plates going because I was using them as a crutch. One wants to marry me, the other wants me to be her freakin' "pretend boyfriend" even though she already has a boyfriend and a husband. Damn, now that I see that in type I see how fvcked up that is....