crying, and embarressment

[The_Shnitz]

Ok, so im not very confident in my abilities to fight and quite often, if i am threatened by a guy or i am punched or whatever, although i will not be physically that hurt (because i dont start to cry right away) i will then actually have tears running from my eyes...i think it is an emotional reaction more than a physical one, i just do not like hostility. Anyone got any ideas of how i can deal with this? its kinda embarressing when im in public because nobody likes a crybaby right.

 

[Dirtheart]

It has been a long time since I last had a fight, but the same thing used to happen to me and a few friends. It is just an adrenaline rush and a release of tension. Obviously when you're in a fight, your mind and body reacts instinctively. Same happens to many people after accidents or near misses.

Unless they have been there, people can't understand that this is just a natural and uncontrollable reaction.

Do you get threatened and punched a lot?

 

[paraguayandj]

If you are threaten and punched the whole time, work out. That's the only answer. The same thing used to happen to me. After a while I got sick of it and got into the wrestling team. I also got in the football team. Even thought I was out of shape and very weak I never gave up. I worked out everyday and now nobody messes with me. I you need work out tips go to the fitness section.

 

[WaterTiger]

Dirtheart is right. Tears are the result of a powerful emotion. We girls have it easy!
We can cry because we're HAPPY!
We cry when were SAD
We can even cry when we're pissed off
You tears are probably a result of the rage and anxiety you felt during the altercation.

 

[Lone_raider]

Why are you being threatened and punched so much? I trained in Ninjutsu for two years and lesson number one was to avoid a place where someone wants to kill/hit/stab you. Even if you know how to fight you do not want to be in one every week. Can you avoid this situation or is it happening at school? If its school then I realize you are trapped there, lift weights, or take a "useful" martial art like Aikido, Ninjutsu or Jujutsu. Those arts all have stuff that is practical for real life/street use. Might save your ass one day.

 

[The_Shnitz]

I wouldnt say that i get threatened a lot but recently i have had a few encounters that left me with tears, i think the rage thing could definately be part of it, if someone has a go at me and wants a fight i would like nothing better than to kick their ass but since i cant fight for shiet i allways back down (almost always).

 

[MrBond007]

Originally posted by The_Shnitz
I wouldnt say that i get threatened a lot but recently i have had a few encounters that left me with tears, i think the rage thing could definately be part of it, if someone has a go at me and wants a fight i would like nothing better than to kick their ass but since i cant fight for shiet i allways back down (almost always).

I know whats your problem:

1)You hold your anger back because you do not find it right to fight or be angered
2)You are afraid that if you hit them back, they could hit your harder

You`ve got to learn how to let loose your anger and use it as it rises.The people hitting you prolly did their best shot anyway. Just let your anger get out all at once and aim for their necks!

Just do a swinging motion with your fist and hit the side of their neck as hard as you can. They will fall.

 

[The_Shnitz]

thanks for the replys peeps

 

[chicksrock]

never ever ever get in a fight.... there is no point.... kicking someone's ass is not going to solve the problem really...it will only accentuate it....and increase only greater tension, anxiety and fear....


if you are wise and smart you will avoid violence...
and its good you didn't get involved in a fighting match..
it is a shame that there will always be a group of degenerates that are trouble makers..
but all kinds make this world i spose

but anyway it is always useful knowing how to defend yourself..
i'm thinking about learning jujitsu/karate, etc to build confidence

and don't worry about the crying thing...!
its only natural..and you should not feel guilty about it...and it doesn't mean you are a wussy or anything
it only means you are smart that you didn't stoop so low and get involved in meaningless fights..
you are more intelligent than that ...
good on ya

 

[Hollowpoint]

Ok, some perspective.

I've been doing martial arts for near 5 years now, trained a variety of styles. I'm a full-contact fighter and part masochist.
I also study physiology and human reactions.


The tearing up part is mostly involuntary. You take a punch to the nose, your eyes tear up. Just recently I had someone do a pressure point technique on me. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would and I started tearing up.


Now......tearing up and crying are quite different in my opinion.
The tearing up you can't do anything about so don't worry about it, the crying shows you feel you are weak and it is a sign of frustration and anger. So......do something about that. Workout, get bigger, train martial arts.



This isn't the thread to argue what martial art to take, start a new thread and I'll give my perspective and experience to that.


MrBond007 - LOL. Neck hits are bad news dude, I wouldn't do them unless in REAL life or death self-defense.

Hahah I got on someone's sig!

 

[Alen-Delon]

crying wont do you any good
and paryin wont help ya either

when you get in fight try to control your emotions....

 

[Walden]

Fighting is one of the things a man needs to be able to do.

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by Walden
Fighting is one of the things a man needs to be able to do.

Wrong... you'll be more respected if you can get through life without fighting, but without being walked upon either. Fighting is frowned upon by most people.

I have never fought in my life, however, I always tell people when they are aggrevating me or being an d*ck. Usually just the shock of being put in their place is enough to have them respect you. Although, some may take it seriously and want to fight. This makes them look like a bigger d*ck and you can usually talk them out of it.

If you are finding yourself involved in alot of fist fights, your hanging out with the wrong crowd.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

Kicking someones ass could mean the difference between life and death. Survival is important to me, so if you break into my house you'd better be ready to die.

A man who can't fight can't win - Mentally, physically, or otherwise. If you can't fight then you'll always be at the mercy of someone else who can.

Anyways, I havn't cried since I was a kid. But I'm sure its perfectly natural and all that.

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by Spike_the_cowboy
Kicking someones ass could mean the difference between life and death. Survival is important to me, so if you break into my house you'd better be ready to die.

A man who can't fight can't win - Mentally, physically, or otherwise. If you can't fight then you'll always be at the mercy of someone else who can.

Anyways, I havn't cried since I was a kid. But I'm sure its perfectly natural and all that.

You make a good point. Although, fighting is just as much, if not more attitude than it is physical strength. If you don't take shyt from people mentally, chances are you won't take shyt physically when needed.

I never let someone disrespect me... So, even though I haven't tested it, if someone attacks me I am sure I can defend myself.

Remember, it's not the size of the dog in the fight... it's the size of the fight in the dog.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

Originally posted by DJUofS
Although, fighting is just as much, if not more attitude than it is physical strength. If you don't take shyt from people mentally, chances are you won't take shyt physically when needed.

Thats why I said: "Mentally, physically, or otherwise."

 

[Walden]

Look I train a couple times a week so I have the reflexes to be able to fight at my disposal.

I don't want or expect to need it but I don't want to be ina situation where I need to defend my friends , myself or my country and not have the ability to do so.

A warrior chooses pacifism , everyone else is condemned to it.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

A warrior chooses pacifism, everyone else is condemned to it.

So true.

 

[balla]

Like these guys said fighting is not the answer so try and avoid it. I have been in my share of scraps, I tend to attract *******s. I've never thrown a 1st punch. And I can honestly say even after "winning" a fight you feel like ****. Its just stupid and not worth it at all. Sure your boys will give you props, there your boys they have too, but most ppl frownon it b.c it is dumb.

As far as the "crying" I agree with whoever said there is a difference btwn tearing up and crying. I tear up pretty easy but if I do you better watch out b/c I am about to rage, for me its comes from intense anger/frustration more than anything, its prob similar for you. There isn't much you can do about tearing up. And if you get hit in the nose it WILL happen no matter what. So try and avoid that. crying is a whole other story, its when you get overcome by emotion(sad/scared/depression).

Just avoid fights man, don't take ****, stick up for yourself, but try not to let it escalate to a brawl. I know its hard, I have been pushed several times and called every name in the book but don't let it phase you.

You'd be suprised how many guys are threatened on the inside. Its really another **** test but for guys, they try to get the fear out of you by yelling cursing, pushing..etc. If you don't show it to them it will have an affect on them. More often then not it will simmer down and you can part ways.

Maybe its just me but I have been in situations where ppl start **** and I just stand there, not backing down but not egging it on, at least physically( I do have a smart ass streak in me haha) but more often than not things eventually simmer down.

And as far as confidence, I say hit the weight room a bit. it doesn't take much really, and it will make you more confident. if you start now, you will see a difference by the time summer is over.





Balla

 

[Hollowpoint]

LOL balla, I like how you repeated my post and added more stuff about not fighting.


HOW DARE YOU HOW ABOUT YOU COME FIGHT ME TO TEH DEAAFFFFFEEEFEFE!!!!!!!!!111111111



Hehehehe.