hey folks
this is an update on the situation on my gf's lowering sexual desire thread I posted a while ago.
my gf's sexual desire began to decline, she resisted my advances, she wasn't excited anymore.
I was becoming more willing to want to do it with her, I always initiated it, she could sense, my behaviors were all trying to get something out of her.
I was becoming frustrated because I didnt know why she was less willing to have sex, I would blame it on her. she would become even less turned on by me verbalizing her lack of interest.
ROllo and other good DJs on this site gave me solid advice, which I took to heart and followed inmediately
I made her miss me more, I stoped saying I love u miss you, I see her less often.
now I make stronger eye contact, and have stronger gestures, posture, I lead, (things I had become comfortable with and was no longer doing), I am now working on my voice tone and improving myself to be more masculine in every single detail (HUGE DIFFERENCE)
but here is the most important thing, I finally understand how to create sexual tension with her, and this piece alone has made her sexual drive to increase incredibly in the past 3 weeks. she doesnt understand it. she says that the sex now feels better than when we first started doing it 6 months ago!!!!!
why?
I know exactly why, I dont explain it to her, she just reacts cuz she goes by emotions, but I know exactly what am doing, and its amazing. women work differently than men, I confirmed it now.
my gf even mentioned once "I feel you are taking sex for granted, like you always wanna do it, like you think its soo easy to get, like you just assume its gonna happen, that doesnt turn me on, I wanna feel Like i want it, make me want it"
of course what she meant was " sex is no longer a challenge, or something I have to work at to get, I am doing no effort because you have become so easy to get that it no longer turns me on" (women want a challenge by instinct)
so this is how I've handled myself in the past three weeks and it has worked like magic. I began imagining that I had just met my girl for the first time, and that I was going to start from scratch, being ****y and funny and non needy, and to create MASSIVE sexual tension. and NEVER act on it!!!! NEVER!, I;ve learned that my girl gets so excited by the sexual tension, that SHE must do something to release it, and she enjoys it!!!
so this is what i do now.
I dont try to kiss her, hug her, or initiate sex.
I lean back, and take more space with my body, and she is the one who initiates kino, contact, touching me.
I now can have normal funny conversation about anything with her, in a detached manner but demonstrating your personality and high value about the things you do and how you see the world.
I tease her and make her laugh a lot, I get close to her, she thinks am gona kiss her, AND i BACK AWAY! and dont kiss her. she loves this.
I start massaging her, and STOP, she LOVES THIS and wants more.
I keep this up, the teasing her, leaning back, she starts desiring sex out of nowhere, and comes close to me to cuddle, like in her mind she now wants me to think about sex, she starts rubbing herself against me, and looking at me to see how I react
I say control yourself woman!, Im not done telling you my story!, and i keep going with it, she gets more excited.
she starts hugging me, I hug her ,but I never lean in, she kisses me, i light touch her everywhere, and STOP. she gets too excited now, and tells me "lets go to my room"
i say, you sure? we could do this tomorrow, we could go to my house. she feels desperate, I take her hand and say "lets go" and lead her to her bedroom.
she starts taking my clothes off, I resist, I say not too fast, im not done kissing you, she is desperate at this point , she wants it, I say "you are not ready yet"
in short , the more I do this, the more excited she gets, and the more the sex will feel like "the best she is ever had"
so here is the lesson.
be nonneedy, ****y and funny, tease her, accuse her of wanting you, all these good stuff we have learned, be playful, CONFIDENT, and dont need sex in front of her!!!!.
the hungrier you get, the less sex you will get. if you act like she would benefit from having sex with you because you know she loves it, but that you are ok if you dont do it because you can control yourself. she WILL initiate and want to.
use this attitude in EVERY interaction, when kissing, when talking, tease her, get into her personal space, close enough to kiss her and tease her this close, then back away (creates huge tension) AND KEEP CREATING THIS TENSION.
sexual inuendos, how much she wants it, loves it, wink at her be silly, and NEVER act on this tension, AT LEAST until you see she is really into it and wants you to.
david deangelo was right, take two steps forward, one step back... ALWAYS!
no matter if its a date, or your LTR.
my girl cant explain whats going on, she just says that all of a sudden she feel this need to do it. but I know better
yesterday she said "something is wrong, you are not acting like you are desperate to get it, like lets go do it!"
I reply with "really? I didnt notice at all, thats weird!!"
hope we learned something, I DID!
this is an update on the situation on my gf's lowering sexual desire thread I posted a while ago.
my gf's sexual desire began to decline, she resisted my advances, she wasn't excited anymore.
I was becoming more willing to want to do it with her, I always initiated it, she could sense, my behaviors were all trying to get something out of her.
I was becoming frustrated because I didnt know why she was less willing to have sex, I would blame it on her. she would become even less turned on by me verbalizing her lack of interest.
ROllo and other good DJs on this site gave me solid advice, which I took to heart and followed inmediately
I made her miss me more, I stoped saying I love u miss you, I see her less often.
now I make stronger eye contact, and have stronger gestures, posture, I lead, (things I had become comfortable with and was no longer doing), I am now working on my voice tone and improving myself to be more masculine in every single detail (HUGE DIFFERENCE)
but here is the most important thing, I finally understand how to create sexual tension with her, and this piece alone has made her sexual drive to increase incredibly in the past 3 weeks. she doesnt understand it. she says that the sex now feels better than when we first started doing it 6 months ago!!!!!
why?
I know exactly why, I dont explain it to her, she just reacts cuz she goes by emotions, but I know exactly what am doing, and its amazing. women work differently than men, I confirmed it now.
my gf even mentioned once "I feel you are taking sex for granted, like you always wanna do it, like you think its soo easy to get, like you just assume its gonna happen, that doesnt turn me on, I wanna feel Like i want it, make me want it"
of course what she meant was " sex is no longer a challenge, or something I have to work at to get, I am doing no effort because you have become so easy to get that it no longer turns me on" (women want a challenge by instinct)
so this is how I've handled myself in the past three weeks and it has worked like magic. I began imagining that I had just met my girl for the first time, and that I was going to start from scratch, being ****y and funny and non needy, and to create MASSIVE sexual tension. and NEVER act on it!!!! NEVER!, I;ve learned that my girl gets so excited by the sexual tension, that SHE must do something to release it, and she enjoys it!!!
so this is what i do now.
I dont try to kiss her, hug her, or initiate sex.
I lean back, and take more space with my body, and she is the one who initiates kino, contact, touching me.
I now can have normal funny conversation about anything with her, in a detached manner but demonstrating your personality and high value about the things you do and how you see the world.
I tease her and make her laugh a lot, I get close to her, she thinks am gona kiss her, AND i BACK AWAY! and dont kiss her. she loves this.
I start massaging her, and STOP, she LOVES THIS and wants more.
I keep this up, the teasing her, leaning back, she starts desiring sex out of nowhere, and comes close to me to cuddle, like in her mind she now wants me to think about sex, she starts rubbing herself against me, and looking at me to see how I react
I say control yourself woman!, Im not done telling you my story!, and i keep going with it, she gets more excited.
she starts hugging me, I hug her ,but I never lean in, she kisses me, i light touch her everywhere, and STOP. she gets too excited now, and tells me "lets go to my room"
i say, you sure? we could do this tomorrow, we could go to my house. she feels desperate, I take her hand and say "lets go" and lead her to her bedroom.
she starts taking my clothes off, I resist, I say not too fast, im not done kissing you, she is desperate at this point , she wants it, I say "you are not ready yet"
in short , the more I do this, the more excited she gets, and the more the sex will feel like "the best she is ever had"
so here is the lesson.
be nonneedy, ****y and funny, tease her, accuse her of wanting you, all these good stuff we have learned, be playful, CONFIDENT, and dont need sex in front of her!!!!.
the hungrier you get, the less sex you will get. if you act like she would benefit from having sex with you because you know she loves it, but that you are ok if you dont do it because you can control yourself. she WILL initiate and want to.
use this attitude in EVERY interaction, when kissing, when talking, tease her, get into her personal space, close enough to kiss her and tease her this close, then back away (creates huge tension) AND KEEP CREATING THIS TENSION.
sexual inuendos, how much she wants it, loves it, wink at her be silly, and NEVER act on this tension, AT LEAST until you see she is really into it and wants you to.
david deangelo was right, take two steps forward, one step back... ALWAYS!
no matter if its a date, or your LTR.
my girl cant explain whats going on, she just says that all of a sudden she feel this need to do it. but I know better
yesterday she said "something is wrong, you are not acting like you are desperate to get it, like lets go do it!"
I reply with "really? I didnt notice at all, thats weird!!"
hope we learned something, I DID!