I wouldn’t yet call myself a DJ, but one thing I am is VERY respected, liked and popular. I have a knack of getting people to like and even adore me within a short period of meeting them and I’m constantly receiving feedback from people about how amazing x or x thinks I am.
For example, when I met my last girlfriend, she introduced me to a group of her friends (5 females and 3 males) throughout the night. I didn’t spend any longer than 15-20 minutes talking to each of them. Anyway, my girlfriend phoned me after I left and told me that I’d made a fantastic impression with everyone. All her female friends thought I was “wonderful”, “fantastic” and “sexy” and her male friends thought I was “really cool” and “a great guy”.
But this is just one example. Apparently, I create this impression on practically everyone I meet (male, female, old, young, rich or poor). I’ve often been told by some people that they feel like they have known me for most of their lives or feel an inexplicable bond with me. One girl even told me (within 15 minutes of us meeting) that she felt fate brought us together! Obviously I’m doing something right and so I’ve started to wonder what it is so that I can develop it further. So here are the results and theories of my findings:
I started to realise that what I do when meeting people is adapt to them immediately and attempt to find common ground, or some way to relate to them. I achieve this by asking them questions and learning more about them. If I disagree with something they say, I don’t say so, I change the subject and try to find a topic on which we do agree. I also greet people with optimism and make a point of showing a genuine interest in them. I let them see what they want to see - a person who understands them and to whom they can relate - for a moment. What I believe happens from here is they use this positive introduction to form a personalized perception of me that stirs their imagination and continues to accumulate positive qualities. By the time they meet me again, they have mentally built me into this perfect person.
The key is to make the other person feel appreciated and understood.
If you have enough time with this person, encourage them to talk about themselves. When the person is giving accounts of experiences, try to empathise and put yourself in their position, then give responses based on how you would feel in the situation they are describing. But instead of saying “I would feel…?” try saying “Did you feel…?” It’s almost like a mind-reading trick, which shows them that you understand how they think and what they feel.
You see, most people are so self-absorbed, they promote themselves and yet fail to create connections with people. By investing time in getting to know the other person, it is possible to create a deeper rapport than they will ever find from the average, self-absorbed alpha male.
However, if trying this be very careful not to seem like you are supplicating or merely concurring with everything they say. Make sure you have something to add to the topic and show that you understand them. If all you can add is “yes” or “I agree with you”, then try to introduce another topic or quit while you’re ahead. This is where this technique has backfired for me on many occasions (with most women in fact). Because I found a technique that works, I applied it excessively. What happens is the person thinks “you don’t understand me, you’re just agreeing with everything I say and sucking upto me” and so you end up looking passive, like an AFC and being treated as a doormat.
This is definitely more of a nice guy approach and perhaps more of a first date thing than a pick up strategy. The more time you have, the deeper you can go with it. I know this technique works on women as I have been very successful with it, but use it in moderation and treat it as a supplement to your Djing knowledge to avoid falling into the friend zone. Remember to reserve time for some lighthearted conversation, flirting and humour.
For example, when I met my last girlfriend, she introduced me to a group of her friends (5 females and 3 males) throughout the night. I didn’t spend any longer than 15-20 minutes talking to each of them. Anyway, my girlfriend phoned me after I left and told me that I’d made a fantastic impression with everyone. All her female friends thought I was “wonderful”, “fantastic” and “sexy” and her male friends thought I was “really cool” and “a great guy”.
But this is just one example. Apparently, I create this impression on practically everyone I meet (male, female, old, young, rich or poor). I’ve often been told by some people that they feel like they have known me for most of their lives or feel an inexplicable bond with me. One girl even told me (within 15 minutes of us meeting) that she felt fate brought us together! Obviously I’m doing something right and so I’ve started to wonder what it is so that I can develop it further. So here are the results and theories of my findings:
I started to realise that what I do when meeting people is adapt to them immediately and attempt to find common ground, or some way to relate to them. I achieve this by asking them questions and learning more about them. If I disagree with something they say, I don’t say so, I change the subject and try to find a topic on which we do agree. I also greet people with optimism and make a point of showing a genuine interest in them. I let them see what they want to see - a person who understands them and to whom they can relate - for a moment. What I believe happens from here is they use this positive introduction to form a personalized perception of me that stirs their imagination and continues to accumulate positive qualities. By the time they meet me again, they have mentally built me into this perfect person.
The key is to make the other person feel appreciated and understood.
If you have enough time with this person, encourage them to talk about themselves. When the person is giving accounts of experiences, try to empathise and put yourself in their position, then give responses based on how you would feel in the situation they are describing. But instead of saying “I would feel…?” try saying “Did you feel…?” It’s almost like a mind-reading trick, which shows them that you understand how they think and what they feel.
You see, most people are so self-absorbed, they promote themselves and yet fail to create connections with people. By investing time in getting to know the other person, it is possible to create a deeper rapport than they will ever find from the average, self-absorbed alpha male.
However, if trying this be very careful not to seem like you are supplicating or merely concurring with everything they say. Make sure you have something to add to the topic and show that you understand them. If all you can add is “yes” or “I agree with you”, then try to introduce another topic or quit while you’re ahead. This is where this technique has backfired for me on many occasions (with most women in fact). Because I found a technique that works, I applied it excessively. What happens is the person thinks “you don’t understand me, you’re just agreeing with everything I say and sucking upto me” and so you end up looking passive, like an AFC and being treated as a doormat.
This is definitely more of a nice guy approach and perhaps more of a first date thing than a pick up strategy. The more time you have, the deeper you can go with it. I know this technique works on women as I have been very successful with it, but use it in moderation and treat it as a supplement to your Djing knowledge to avoid falling into the friend zone. Remember to reserve time for some lighthearted conversation, flirting and humour.
