CREATE HIGH VALUE FOR YOURSELF NOT OTHERS!!!
I have had these thoughts for awhile. Somewhere along the line a difficult realization became apparent to me.
It doesn’t matter what you do for yourself to create value, she still might not care!
Obviously we all want to succeed in life, but make sure you are doing it in a way that isn’t just to compete with others or impress others. Do it because it is something you think is worthwhile to do.
So the whole story about this?
There are so many posts on this board about different hobbies, or things to do to pick up women. Things such as playing guitar, working out, and many other cool hobbies might seem impressive to women but I can tell you that even with your game together it might not workout.
I finally broke it down to the fact that in the end many of the things I have done in life were directly in line with seeking approval from others or trying to impress others. I even remember taking vacations and I couldn’t wait to tell friends about it. It was almost like I was living certain experiences just for the story I could tell about them later to friends!
While this has led me to do a lot of great exciting things, it has really led me to either a revelation or a complete breakdown!
Why is it a guy can be completely successful in almost every area of his life and be a man of high value yet a woman doesn’t value it? Well there are so many reasons, of course needy behavior can cancel out any apparent value a guy has.
After my last couple of breakups I felt really cracked.
I have 3 college degrees
I play guitar
I workout
I have a job at one of the most prestigious places in the world.
Yet none of this inihibited a woman from breaking up with me.
In the end, I did all these things for my best interest. But to expect them to impress a girl and to expect a girl to see high value is something I will never do again.
In the end I was selfish. To me high value in a girl was a pretty face, a nice ass and a vagina that was open for business. Did I create the poor relationships? In the end I have to say yes. I didn’t screen the girls enough.
I like to take personal responsibility for everything in my life. Now with flaky women I cant take responsibility for their actions, but I can take responsibility for me failing to see they were flaky up to the end.
I’ll admit to this point I was an arrogant egotistical guy who felt that no women could provide me with any more value than I could provide them. In my mind I was always the rescuer.
Now it’s forever changed. I don’t expect a woman to be impressed by my resume, credentials or looks. I know they will be attracted initially but anymore I really don’t care what they think. From now on I will do a better job screening. Being shallow in the end doesn’t serve us. Being proactive will.
I think eventually I’ll be ready to date again. Hell right now for some strange reason I lost interest in sex. My disgust with the opposite sex has been uncontrollable. As a result I pretty much say what I want to any women. And it’s starting to attract new women, no surprise.
Don’t expect anything to impress a woman anymore. Do **** because you want to do it. Do stuff that betters you.
Furthermore, don’t worry about competing with people. Compete with yourself instead. If you set goals and metrics with yourself in mind you can only better yourself and doing this daily will ensure you surpass 99% of the people out there who are worried about petty problems. The more I focus on this the better off I am.
And Ayn Rand still had it wrong. Don’t live for any man, live for yourself is one of her famous quotes. Well this just doesn’t work for me. I am happiest when I help others because I have been very fortunate in life. I think everyone will be because there are people who need help out there.
But no longer will I be the savior of destitute women.
A recent post discussed the idea of how romantic love has been written up and sold to us and is responsible for many of the feelings of heartbreak. I agree. We have become a codependent society. It isn’t healthy. I still want it but don’t need it.
Another revelation came to me as being 31 years old now. One of my best friends got married at 21. Well for these 10 years I have been single. I’ve survived and can continue to survive single. I do want kids one day but there is no hurry. If you compare his life and mine I’ve had some great things happen that he hasn’t been able to experience. He’s stuck in the same job and place. He sometimes complains of his marriage but overall is happy. Which life is better? Who is to say, but I’m in mine now.
I love friends, family and everyone. But no longer will I be needy or even worry about impressing people. As long as I can impress myself and look back everyday with pride in myself that’s all that matters.
Finally although I’ve posted it before, I’ll post it again. Nothing ever summarized it to me as well.
Rudyard Kipling
If
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
I have had these thoughts for awhile. Somewhere along the line a difficult realization became apparent to me.
It doesn’t matter what you do for yourself to create value, she still might not care!
Obviously we all want to succeed in life, but make sure you are doing it in a way that isn’t just to compete with others or impress others. Do it because it is something you think is worthwhile to do.
So the whole story about this?
There are so many posts on this board about different hobbies, or things to do to pick up women. Things such as playing guitar, working out, and many other cool hobbies might seem impressive to women but I can tell you that even with your game together it might not workout.
I finally broke it down to the fact that in the end many of the things I have done in life were directly in line with seeking approval from others or trying to impress others. I even remember taking vacations and I couldn’t wait to tell friends about it. It was almost like I was living certain experiences just for the story I could tell about them later to friends!
While this has led me to do a lot of great exciting things, it has really led me to either a revelation or a complete breakdown!
Why is it a guy can be completely successful in almost every area of his life and be a man of high value yet a woman doesn’t value it? Well there are so many reasons, of course needy behavior can cancel out any apparent value a guy has.
After my last couple of breakups I felt really cracked.
I have 3 college degrees
I play guitar
I workout
I have a job at one of the most prestigious places in the world.
Yet none of this inihibited a woman from breaking up with me.
In the end, I did all these things for my best interest. But to expect them to impress a girl and to expect a girl to see high value is something I will never do again.
In the end I was selfish. To me high value in a girl was a pretty face, a nice ass and a vagina that was open for business. Did I create the poor relationships? In the end I have to say yes. I didn’t screen the girls enough.
I like to take personal responsibility for everything in my life. Now with flaky women I cant take responsibility for their actions, but I can take responsibility for me failing to see they were flaky up to the end.
I’ll admit to this point I was an arrogant egotistical guy who felt that no women could provide me with any more value than I could provide them. In my mind I was always the rescuer.
Now it’s forever changed. I don’t expect a woman to be impressed by my resume, credentials or looks. I know they will be attracted initially but anymore I really don’t care what they think. From now on I will do a better job screening. Being shallow in the end doesn’t serve us. Being proactive will.
I think eventually I’ll be ready to date again. Hell right now for some strange reason I lost interest in sex. My disgust with the opposite sex has been uncontrollable. As a result I pretty much say what I want to any women. And it’s starting to attract new women, no surprise.
Don’t expect anything to impress a woman anymore. Do **** because you want to do it. Do stuff that betters you.
Furthermore, don’t worry about competing with people. Compete with yourself instead. If you set goals and metrics with yourself in mind you can only better yourself and doing this daily will ensure you surpass 99% of the people out there who are worried about petty problems. The more I focus on this the better off I am.
And Ayn Rand still had it wrong. Don’t live for any man, live for yourself is one of her famous quotes. Well this just doesn’t work for me. I am happiest when I help others because I have been very fortunate in life. I think everyone will be because there are people who need help out there.
But no longer will I be the savior of destitute women.
A recent post discussed the idea of how romantic love has been written up and sold to us and is responsible for many of the feelings of heartbreak. I agree. We have become a codependent society. It isn’t healthy. I still want it but don’t need it.
Another revelation came to me as being 31 years old now. One of my best friends got married at 21. Well for these 10 years I have been single. I’ve survived and can continue to survive single. I do want kids one day but there is no hurry. If you compare his life and mine I’ve had some great things happen that he hasn’t been able to experience. He’s stuck in the same job and place. He sometimes complains of his marriage but overall is happy. Which life is better? Who is to say, but I’m in mine now.
I love friends, family and everyone. But no longer will I be needy or even worry about impressing people. As long as I can impress myself and look back everyday with pride in myself that’s all that matters.
Finally although I’ve posted it before, I’ll post it again. Nothing ever summarized it to me as well.
Rudyard Kipling
If
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Now obviously this was a physical thing, but I'm seeing that women, and people in general will notice a man who works on himself-the outside shows first but the other goods come out as well.
