Create a "Journal of Lost Opportunities"

[Escude]

This is my first tip ever, here goes

This is definitely more useful to the entire lot of us who haven't been DJs, but here goes:

Many people here advocate a date notebook or journal, where you categorize the girl and the dating experiences. I've just started mine and found it to be very useful, not to mention cathartic. If anything, it allows you to monitor your mistakes.

Here's another thing I've done which I've found useful:

a log of all the girls you had opportunities with but lost in one way or another: not making a number close, not seeing the signs, too scared to approach (if a number wasn't needed), kind of interested but "standards too high" so didn't at least try it, didn't think she would go for you after all when a year later you realize hey she was interested, even worse, she asked you out and YOU screwed it up.

I made my list.. just off the top of my head there were 20 odd opportunities over the last 10 years or so. Beside each name I put the situation, why she was interested, and why I screwed it up.

In doing so, I've done several things, one gotten these things off my chest and into writing so I can remind myself never to be such an idiot again.

Two, whenever you're in the dumps and you think nobody will ever like you, look back, chances are you'll find that at many times throughout your life there have been girls you didn't have to do a SINGLE thing for and they would have been yours with just the simplest move. Yes, you are desirable!

My goal: to not have to add on to the casualty list on the "Journal of Lost Opportunities."

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

It kills me when I think back at all those missed opportunities from my past. When I was an AFC, I was obviously unaware of what was happening or didn't know what to do in the situation, but since I started developing as a DJ the opportunities I have missed are mainly down to fear, and that hurts most that damn fear stopped me. But hey, onward to the future.....

 

[Escude]

yup, you have to completely accept what you were in the past before you can move forward. i agree with you to, i looked at my list today and damn if 75% of them were because i had no guts to pull the trigger, or because i had no idea how to number close and never saw the girl again.

 

[Dopey the Barbarian]

'Zactly right! Just like keeping a training log in the gym helps you stay abreast of your progress, a log or journal helps you keep track of calling patterns, good or bad convo topics, etc. I started keeping a running log of all contact with a girl I had been seeing and it's an eye-opener! Plus it makes it seem like you have a photographic memory and/or listen well.

Just make sure to keep it where it won't be found, or you might look like the King of the AFCs.

 

[Lost]

hahaha

this made me laugh. if i actually tried that id be writing 24/7 rofl.

 

[ChallengeIsFun]

Actually, I keep a journal of ALL my "interactions with intent". It's amazing what I can remember about the conversation, setting, etc. when writing it down after the fact. (...and there's been some grim realizations of things I've missed resulting lost opportunities that I didn't even notice at the time! )

I'm finding themes thoughout my entries where I'll make the SAME MISTAKE a couple times in a row. Documenting this puts a HIGHLIGHTER over that part of my game which is lacking. That mistake becomes forefront on my mind for my subsequent "attacks".

I'm finding it pretty easy to make steady progress though this journal method.

 

[ilyadaimpaler]

too many to count

A missed opportunity from approaching, but botching it up is far better (too bad i chicken out most of the time) than a missed opportunity from fear of approach. So you just gotta say to ureself before you chicken out of a cold approach/ or someone ure semi aqauinted with "WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE?" and then go over it. By the way if you answer to yourself "DIGNITY", then your just chickening out, cuz hell, men are mamals, and mamals need dates/relationships/sex just as much as we need calcium or vitamin c, its a part of our nature. No matter how advanced science or technology is that we create we will always just be highly capable animals with a lot of brain power, no more, no less.