Counter Intuitive Question

[ebracer05]

A friend of mine introduced me to this girl a few days ago and we've exchanged a few emails. I watched David Deangelo's Advanced Series last week and was reminded of his counter intuitive principles.... for example, most guys think that girl's will appreciate their compliments, when really, insults will do more to engender a girl's attraction. I recognize that there are certain things that certain girls think are important, so I asked this girl what the things are she thinks men don't understand about women. She said:

Biggest things boys do no understand about girls?
-We like small things. Big things really do not matter.
-Guys do not always have to take a girl out to have a good time. Lounging around, watching movies, talking, is sometimes better.
-Not all of us are high maintenance.
-We like sensitivity, but not oversensitivity.
-We like compliments, but not too many.
-****y guys are not too attractive. Kind of annoying. But being confident is great.
-When guys break their promises, it really upsets us. Even if we say it doesn't.
-We really hate it when guys take forever to text back.
-We always find out when a guy lies.. even if it takes a while.
- When we get emotionally hurt, it more than likely bothers us more than we let on, and the pain can last a while. We do not get over things that fast.
- Guys confuse us. They make no sense what-so-ever.
-We wish guys would tell us how they REALLY feel, not what they think we want to hear..
-We hate being compared to other girls. Guys are good at making girls feel not good enough to begin with.
-- I could keep going.. but there is so much more guys do not understand, so for your sake, I will stop! Haha.


Now. Would it be a good strategy for me to do the opposite of what she said in this list if I'm trying to create attraction? Minus obviously things like being too sensitive and giving too many compliments.

 

[oneboy21]

If she told you all this whether talking or while emailing
it may back fire, and she might sense that you are doing it intentionally. if you do it playfully and in a teasing way that would be awesome

 

[ebracer05]

If she told you all this whether talking or while emailing
it may back fire, and she might sense that you are doing it intentionally. if you do it playfully and in a teasing way that would be awesome

It was via Facebook. I haven't spoken with her on the phone yet. I've only sent her 2 emails. But I have her phone number now, and I like the phone much better than the internet.

I would assume you are asking this because it would be easier to convey that I'm doing it in a playful, teasing way over the phone than online?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

A friend of mine introduced me to this girl a few days ago and we've exchanged a few emails. I watched David Deangelo's Advanced Series last week and was reminded of his counter intuitive principles.... for example, most guys think that girl's will appreciate their compliments, when really, insults will do more to engender a girl's attraction. I recognize that there are certain things that certain girls think are important, so I asked this girl what the things are she thinks men don't understand about women. She said:

Biggest things boys do no understand about girls?
-We like small things. Big things really do not matter.
-Guys do not always have to take a girl out to have a good time. Lounging around, watching movies, talking, is sometimes better.
-Not all of us are high maintenance.
-We like sensitivity, but not oversensitivity.
-We like compliments, but not too many.
-****y guys are not too attractive. Kind of annoying. But being confident is great.
-When guys break their promises, it really upsets us. Even if we say it doesn't.
-We really hate it when guys take forever to text back.
-We always find out when a guy lies.. even if it takes a while.
- When we get emotionally hurt, it more than likely bothers us more than we let on, and the pain can last a while. We do not get over things that fast.
- Guys confuse us. They make no sense what-so-ever.
-We wish guys would tell us how they REALLY feel, not what they think we want to hear..
-We hate being compared to other girls. Guys are good at making girls feel not good enough to begin with.
-- I could keep going.. but there is so much more guys do not understand, so for your sake, I will stop! Haha.


Now. Would it be a good strategy for me to do the opposite of what she said in this list if I'm trying to create attraction? Minus obviously things like being too sensitive and giving too many compliments.

I will generalize and say that the above list is mostly true, but mainly with guys THEY ARE ALREADY ATTRACTED TO. If she is not into you, and you do the opposite, she will not respond positively. And yes, do not do it by email/facebook, or phone. Only test it in small samples once you are out together, as that would mean there is at least some interest on her part.

 

[oneboy21]

^^^^ He said it
Talk to her on the phone for few times, and ask her out. While on a date(assuming she has interest in you) be funny and tease her playfully about the things she talked about.

 

[Borknagar]

Dude most of that stuff is bull****. It's like taking advice from a women, you know it's not gonna work. and "- Guys confuse us. They make no sense what-so-ever." We make perfect sense, it's women that are the obvious problem.

 

[Scars]

-We like small things. Big things really do not matter.

In a way, this is true. Basically it means that you don't have to go out of your way to impress her. No fancy dinners, or flowers etc.. but a little souvenir that "reminded you of her" will work wonders for you. This can also be done with word play and how you say things and give compliments to her. But you always must keep a balance. These generally work best after you have been distant for awhile, or she is accusing you being "confusing" or mixing signals. Give her a little something and she'll be in love with you again.

-Guys do not always have to take a girl out to have a good time. Lounging around, watching movies, talking, is sometimes better.

True. But basically when a girl says she wants to "hang out" and just "watch movies" generally means s3x or at least a passionate makeout session.

-Not all of us are high maintenance.

All girls need affection/attention. The more high maintenance they are, the less attention you give them. It's how the game works. Sounds like she just told you this one because she is trying to impress you, or is rationalizing to herself that she's "not like all the other girls."

-We like sensitivity, but not oversensitivity.

Like I said earlier, you must keep a balance. It's okay to show vulnerability/be sensitive at times, but keep your man frame. Basically, just be human, and don't act like a hardass when you don't have to.

-We like compliments, but not too many.

A girl wants to be appreciated, but if you compliment to much then the words start to lose their value and she begins losing respect for you.

-****y guys are not too attractive. Kind of annoying. But being confident is great.

****y and confident are often interchangeable. In short, just be a fvcking MAN and you can't go wrong.

-When guys break their promises, it really upsets us. Even if we say it doesn't.

It upsets them, but it's not a deal breaker. How many dysfunctional relationships have you witnessed? I've seen many. Some girls actually LIKE being lied to/treated like sh!t.

-We really hate it when guys take forever to text back.

Yup. So why do girls play these silly texting games? We don't like it either.

-We always find out when a guy lies.. even if it takes a while.

I beg to differ. They are pretty good about reading body language and usually can "sense" things as they happen, but it doesn't really matter. They still operate off of emotions. You can lie to a girl, and she can be deeply hurt, but she can still be in love with you. I've had exes accuse me of being with other girls even though I was legitimately working long hours at work. They would even rationalize to themselves about how I "didn't care anymore" and "wanted to break up with them", even though that wasn't the case at all. I was just legitimately busy. They often think they know EVERYTHING, and it's actually quite annoying. Their problem lies within their lack of logical sense. They think with their emotions, so even when they're wrong they FEEL like they're right.

- When we get emotionally hurt, it more than likely bothers us more than we let on, and the pain can last a while. We do not get over things that fast.

It's true that girls will lead you to believe that they don't care after breaks up etc.. They will post on their facebook walls about how well they're doing and how much they "love life", but it is in fact a facade. But also, there are other variables involved. A girl that was in love with you before can be extremely heart broken and play these games, but if she was toying you around and already had your replacement lined out, she may in fact just really not give a sh!t, because she is so consumed with guy #2. Sometimes it's hard to tell. But as I said earlier, woman run off of emotions. So when she just gets out of a relationship of course she thinks she is feeling the pain more than the guy. Her feelings are all she knows.

- Guys confuse us. They make no sense what-so-ever.

Correction. The guys they LIKE confuse them. And most of the time, it's not that hard to figure out. They say all the right things, make all the right moves, but still seem "detached" or uninterested at times. That's because THESE MEN ARE ALSO SPINNING OTHER PLATES. Something we should all follow.

-We wish guys would tell us how they REALLY feel, not what they think we want to hear..

A girl just wants to be appreciated, and FEEL special, even if you lie to them. She doesn't really care about how you feel, she cares about how you MAKE HER FEEL.

-We hate being compared to other girls. Guys are good at making girls feel not good enough to begin with.

Some girls are insecure. Yes. If you're with a well rounded girl, comparing her to your ex could be a deal breaker. If you're with a borderline, AW, or a girl that is just basically fvcked in the head, comparing her to your ex could actually work for you. It'll make her feel like she has to keep trying to impress you, and she will stay with you as long as you don't ever "give in". Some girls NEED that, it's secretly what they want.

---

I think this girl had good intentions, and for the most part it's pretty good advice, for a girl. But you should always take their advice with a grain of salt. Remember that they operate off of emotions, so their "logic" is always one sided. Also, a girl will sometimes say things that are completely off the mark. It's not that she's trying to trick you, it's generally just her trying to rationalize to herself that she's not a wh0re. Deep down, she doesn't want to admit she likes bad boys that treat her like crap, because she wants to keep believing that she "isn't like other girls" etc.. She wants to FEEL unique/special. And it goes straight back to the first thing I said about emotions. Once you realize that woman are selfish and only care about their OWN feelings, they're pretty easy to figure out.

-Scars

 

[ebracer05]

Thank you all for your insight. I've had my own set of issues going on the last few days that made what should have been a very simple question I knew the answer to seem confusing. I'm glad this resource is available with great people who bring clarity during those times.

I appreciate all of your insight!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Excellent work, Scars. I concur completely.

 

[AlexDP]

I agree with everything Scars said. One thing I would like to add though: I've noticed that some women, even pretty women, are not as high maintenance as others. They often are less emotional, healthier and what's even better: they tend to like sex because of the sex. This means less drama, more sex. Some guys are addicted to the drama, but I'm done with games and high maintenance women. I'd take a healthy HB 7.5 over a high maintenance HB 10 any day of the week.

 

[A.M. Bergoise]

.

All she did was describe a man, and his actions when he's a man, most of that I just assume, "not all of us are high maint.," Ha! Not in my world your not.
At first I balked at 'telling me how he really feels" part, Im pretty guarded on a lot of things, but I realized I am pretty honest about the effects of something she does or wears has on me. Positive or negative. Don't we have to be comfortable enough not to let compromise occur? Be at the FRONT of the bus? I've always felt being completely open about every minor cause/affect situation integral to who I am, and key to success. I think that counts as sensitivity, it at least appears to.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'd take a healthy HB 7.5 over a high maintenance HB 10 any day of the week.

Me too. My looks requirements have definitely moderated, especially after my recent BPD adventure.

I have always said that my formula is that quality of character is inversely proportional to good looks. There may be exceptions, but they are few.

The only thing I can't do is fat. And in my experience, the highest-calibre women who I have dated were the fat ones. I was going to use another term for them but do you know what? They deserve more respect than that.

I have tried to overlook heaviness but I just can't do it. If I could transplant the personality of one of my previous overweight girls into the body of one of my beauties, then I'd be blessed indeed.

For a women, good looks is usually crippling when it comes to character. It's the equivalent to a wealthy man just handing his wealth over to his son and then expecting him to be fiscally responsible. He has no concept of working for it. Again, there are exceptions, but in this day and age they are rare.

 

[thevilittletroll]

i would agree with one previous statement, most of this is about guys she's already attracted to. i'd take this email as her qualifiying herself to you, so i would assume that attraction for you is there. dont take her advice as the bible. women are notorious for giving men terrible dating advice. you dont have to take her out on lavish and expensive dates. i would advise you to plan your dates, but make them appear to be spontaneous. def dont be mr sensitive, you'll just come off looking like a p.ussy and not a man. my advice would be to not share your feelings with her at all. replace that with telling her stories of when you were a kid and describe your "feelings" of that time in your life. when complimenting her use push pull techniques and take it away. stay away from saying things like you're hot, or beautiful. be more original, she's heard that 100 times before. if you use push pull you can compliment her as many times as you want cause you are always pulling it back. you can be ****y but you must also be funny, and yes it will spark attraction. having confidence is a no-brainer, you must have this to attract any female. broken promises is something that will get her chasing you. it will also show her you are a high value male with a very active social life. you cant do it all the time, and always make it up to her. texting back right away has the same effect as above, keep her guessing as to when you are going to respond. you dont want to be seen as too available. you should never respond right away every time. show her you have an active social life and many options. avoid talking to her about your "feelings" this will only cause a fight with her. she doesnt really want to know, she just wants some drama in her life. you dont have to compare her to other girls but you should be using DHV techniques telling her about your hot x-gf's who was a stripper, ****tail server, bartender, go-go dancer, but dont brag about it. she will compare herself to you ex's without you having to do it for her. thats why its an attraction switch, it gets her to invest.