Could use some advice.....

[vegit8]

My love life (or lack of) has been getting me down a bit, and I need some advice.

Basically, im 21 and at university. Im in my 3rd year and since being here I have pulled one girl. I find that a little depressing.

Thing is, I really dont get why no one seems interested in me. Im reasonably well built, and fairly good looking. I can even do the confidence thing.

It just really bugs me when I go out to a club/party/ball/whatever and it seems that everyone ends up with someone except me. I normally leg it home depressed towards the end of the night while most of the people I have gone out with have found someone.

Im not talking relationships here, I just want someone to be interested in me.

What am I doing wrong?

 

[spider_007]

what you just did is list all your good qualities and asked us why you arn't getting any. HOW THE HECK ARE WE SUPOSED TO KNOW.

we don't know how you act (body language)
we don't know how charming you are
we never seen you in action
we know notting about you....

i't like me asking; "i can write all the letters, but why can't i spell?"

you are the only one who can anwer your question, the rest of us can just take wild guesses....

 

[vegit8]

Good point.

Im not sure I can answer that, because I dont know myself.

I can certainly be charming, but I have to feel comfortable first. I think this is one of my problems, but I get confused here because no one else seems to need to do this...

hmmm.....thanks - you have prompted me to ask myself questions now.

 

[tseluca]

What you need to do is get advice from a girl you can trust.

Seriously, just pull one of your friend's girlfriend off to the side and ask her.

Ask her, what can I do to make myself more attractive to women?

Many times the answer simply "There is nothing wrong with you, just talk to them"

Personally, I have seen guys out that I wished had come over and talked to me, but they just didn't, that was their only flaw.

Or it may be something as simple as a new haircut or updated wardrobe.

Really, justr ask a girl That is the smart thing to do. Asking men what a woman finds attractive is like taking diet advice from a fat person, they just don't know.

 

[vegit8]

Thanks. I will do just that.

 

[Desdinova]

Thing is, I really dont get why no one seems interested in me. Im reasonably well built, and fairly good looking. I can even do the confidence thing.

It's not the looks that count. It's your personality. Women will primarily be attracted to a man's personality, not his looks.

Also, confidence isn't a thing that you just turn on and off when it's convenient. Faking confidence will only benefit you when you do it. You need to develope natural confidence that radiates from you all the time. Women will be drawn to a naturally confident guy.

Some ways to help you develope natural confidence is to always look at the positives instead of the negatives in life. Also, focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

Change all your negatives into positives.
Change all your weaknesses into positives.

When you do a good job at something. Tell yourself how damn good you are! You might also want to do a search on this site for affirmations.

What you need to do is get advice from a girl you can trust.

This is horrible advice. Women don't know what makes them attracted to certain types of men. Women will continually find themselves attracted to jerks, even though they keep saying "I want a nice guy". This is proof that women have no fvcking clue what they find attractive in a man.

 

[tseluca]

Desdinova


I think you read to many Pick up guides and books.

Tht is the problem with most men, they don't listen. If you want good advice, you need to ask a women. Guys don't know what women want.

As for the whole jerk thing, women like jerks because they are good in bed, Nice guys, are well too nice in bed. read my other post where I said most DJ's fold like a card house in the arms of a naked women, and the AFC comes out.

That is because most DJ's are faking it.

You can be a nice guy and good in the bedroom, look at your idols James Bond, Stve Mqueen, James Dean, none of them were jerks, none of them used silly antics and tactics, and women loved them.

They were REAL DJ's because they knew when to be a genlemen and when not to.

This DJ stuff will work....on young, supid girls who have some disfuntional past....and if that is the type of women you are after, have at it, because that is all the more chance a good girl wont waste her time with you

 

[splinterkb]

You may have parts that make up the physical aspects, but it sounds like you don't really try to get some, like if you're expecting it to appear to you. Try this. Goto a party some weekend. Talk with a whole lot of the girls there. Just drop a line like "hey you're pretty cool, we should chill some time... whats your number?" Do that to as many decent looking girls and above as you can. Then just follow up, and go from there. If you say you're attractive and built, then you probably won't get too many no's if you play your game right.

 

[Kaptain]

Originally posted by vegit8
It just really bugs me when I go out to a club/party/ball/whatever and it seems that everyone ends up with someone except me. I normally leg it home depressed towards the end of the night while most of the people I have gone out with have found someone.

Im not talking relationships here, I just want someone to be interested in me.

Have you shown any active interest in any girl when you have gone out?

 

[flexion_]

Do NOT get advise from women. Get some advise from some of the DJ friends you have that you trust.

 

[Desdinova]

I think you read to many Pick up guides and books.

Perhaps, but I've tried lots of it. I quit using what doesn't work, and what does.

Tht is the problem with most men, they don't listen. If you want good advice, you need to ask a women. Guys don't know what women want.

Here's typical advice that I've gotten from women:

Be yourself
Tell her how you feel about her
Be romantic

This site is here to help guys learn what women desire, not what women SAY they want. They are two completely different things. Women will easily communicate with subtle hints. Men will get confused by subtle hints.

Women like jerks because they don't care what the woman thinks of them, and naturally display confidence. Nice Guys who are intimidated by women will get nervous and show absolutely no natural confidence. The key is finding the happy medium: The confident great guy.

This DJ stuff will work....on young, supid girls who have some disfuntional past....and if that is the type of women you are after, have at it, because that is all the more chance a good girl wont waste her time with you

I've been in a relationship for a couple of years. The woman is incredibly attracted to me, and is by no means stupid. She also treats me very well.

Before I found this site, I was 5hit on, and taken advantage of by women. I'm living proof that this site DOES (or did) benefit men. It came to a point where I literally could pick and choose which women I wanted to date.

Also, valuable women are a rarity. Women who are more concerned with gossip, their nails, drama, partying, and have hangups on their abusive ex-bfs are plentiful. Finding a decent woman is a big challenge.

 

[tseluca]

Desdinova

You have a funny way of agreeing with me, but yet still trying to argue. You reinforced my point when I said women like jerks because they are good in bed (have confidence), and most DJ's (are not confident, they just avt it)

The ideal is not some woman bashing man like you, but rather a smooth confident man like a james bond. You would never hear bond make a comment like most women are invaluable.

You sound a little jaded to me, I notice you are 29. At that age, I agree, most of the women left are "undesirable" and the pickens are slim.

You getting **** on while you were younger is your own fault. It had nothing tho with being a DJ or being an AFC, it has everything to do with you.

You are right when you say men get confused by subtle hints. Women wil throw out there what they want, and it goes over the heads of 90 of men.



I mean seriously I am going to ask you What works?

What in your extensive research works well and what doesn't? I am intrigued I would appreciate a reply to that either by posting her or PM me

now, onto a woman telling you to be yourself. That is the best advice there is.

Do you really feel satisfied pretending to be something you are not just to hold on to a woman?

Do you relly want to be with a woman you would fear would leave you if you were just yourself?

What is wrong with being romantic once in a while? It can be taken too far, but once and a while is good

As, for women being invalueable, I agree, but most men are of no value also. Let's remember the average person is just that average. But serioulsly, saying things like that just makes you sound jaded and wounded, and that is unattractive

 

[Ebach]

Women make themselves attractive. You pick the one you're attracted to and go after her. You have to do it through behavior, not words. Words are for women, doing is for men. We don't talk about how we feel, we do something about our feelings to relieve them.

 

[Ebach]

By the way, stop fantasizing about the perfect world. What the hell is that? World is out there and you're one of the many players. You gotta go out there and poke here, poke there and feed off of the responses to understand how things work. Hands on! You don't think about how they should be (fantasy) and try to control them into being that way because that doesn't work. You go out there, you try some moves and you observe the responses. That's how it's done. If your moves work, good for you, if not, try something else. Main point being, you have to DO something and allow the women to respond.

 

[Desdinova]

You have a funny way of agreeing with me, but yet still trying to argue. You reinforced my point when I said women like jerks because they are good in bed (have confidence), and most DJ's (are not confident, they just avt it)

The point I was trying to make is that jerks aren't only attractive because they're "good in bed". They're attractive for many other reasons.

The ideal is not some woman bashing man like you,

Woah, let's back up here a second. Where did I bash women? Was it when I said a good quality woman is hard to find? If you want your fvcking equality, here: There are bad men, and there are bad women. Happy now?

but rather a smooth confident man like a james bond. You would never hear bond make a comment like most women are invaluable.

I'm talking about women for the long haul, not the ones that are only good for sex. James Bond never kept the same woman throughout one movie.

You sound a little jaded to me, I notice you are 29. At that age, I agree, most of the women left are "undesirable" and the pickens are slim.

Pickings are slim in any age group. They get slimmer when the age is increased (especially over 30). I've dated women from a varying age range. Many 18 year olds are just as undesireable as many 28 year olds.

You getting **** on while you were younger is your own fault. It had nothing tho with being a DJ or being an AFC, it has everything to do with you.

Yes and no. It's the programming from Society and my parents that resulted in me volunteering to become a doormat. It's this site that helped me realize that society and my parents were teaching what was expected of me. I'm no longer submissive to other people's opinions.

I mean seriously I am going to ask you What works?

Read the DJ bible.

What in your extensive research works well and what doesn't? I am intrigued I would appreciate a reply to that either by posting her or PM me

There's way too much to list in one post, thread, or PM. Again, read the DJ bible. Most of the stuff in there works. If you want a summary, it's confidence, kino, and c/f.

now, onto a woman telling you to be yourself. That is the best advice there is.

That's not good advice when being yourself isn't attractive. Being your BEST self is the way to go.

Do you really feel satisfied pretending to be something you are not just to hold on to a woman?

If I were to pretend to be something I'm not, my woman would have left me a long time ago. I'm the real deal.

Do you relly want to be with a woman you would fear would leave you if you were just yourself?

I fear nothing. I became the BEST me I possibly could, and I'm still improving that.

What is wrong with being romantic once in a while? It can be taken too far, but once and a while is good

That's the problem with men now days. Romance is a spice to add flavor to a relationship. Most men will hand a plate of oregano to the woman and expect her to enjoy it.

As, for women being invalueable, I agree, but most men are of no value also. Let's remember the average person is just that average. But serioulsly, saying things like that just makes you sound jaded and wounded, and that is unattractive

I told you what you wanted to hear earlier in this post. The main point of discussion on this forum is men attracting women. Therefore, if you get offended by someone telling how most women out there are low quality, you should leave this site since you're going to read about it a lot.

Some guys on here want women for sex. Some are looking for a quality woman for the long term. People come here for different reasons. Therefore, you're going to have to be a bit open minded about what the guys on here are truly wanting.

 

[MightyMate]

How do You know You ae good looking? Girls see in men if they are or not. Sometimes man that You could call ugly are attractive. For girls strange things are important. Alot of it is behaviour.

 

[Desdinova]

How do You know You ae good looking?

Because you look in the mirror and say, "Damn I look good!"

Women aren't as focussed on looks as men are. Ugly women are going to have a more difficult time attracting men, just like the guy with the lousy personality is going to have a difficult time attracting women.

 

[Maverick001]

vegit8,

Yeah, don`t take any relationship advice about women from women. Fashion advice, yes. They`re spot on for this.

I think you articulated what the problem is but may have missed it, so here you go:

I can even do the confidence thing.

No, there is no doing. It is or it isn`t. It may flow and ebb but either it`s there or not. What does this mean? You either recognize that you have confidence or not. It`s there and has always been. You need to polish off the crud that has it covered and let it shine.

Confidence is simply being comfortable in your own skin and not being concerned what other people have to say or what they think about you.

You`re a man that moves about the world and does his own thing and you have no excuses to offer or explanations to make to anyone. This is the truth. Recognize it and see the difference for yourself.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[\O/]

Don't take advices from women except for fashion and style. Never on how to behave around or do to attract women. They are clueless.

Desdinova is dead on in his replies in this thread. Tseluca, you're completely off. You have no idea what your are talking about, and i'm suspecting you of being female...or just very very AFC.,,No offense

 

[tseluca]

Ok, I am going to respond a little harshly here, but I will speak the truth

#1 99% of men need to take sexual advice from women, most of you don’t know what the hell you are doing, and there is a reason most women fake orgasms. So we don’t fracture your fragile little egos, so add that to you list of areas to take advice from women

Now the “tricks and antics” on here may work for young silly girls who don’t know what they want, but these are the girls that dance on bar tops, are tattooed, and sleep with 50 men. Is that really the type of girlfriend you want? Is that the type of girl you want to marry, is that the type of girl you want to raise your kids? Just questions to ponder

Now if your ultimate goal is not a girlfriend, and just to bag as many chicks as you can, I am going to ask you why is that? Do you need the ego o boost to be able to say I banged 20 girls? Is your life that meaningless that sarging women and picking up girls is all you think of? Most of the men that I know who have been with lots of women deep down inside are really insecure, the same way girls who are with a lot of men are insecure..

Like I said before, if that is the type of woman you want, have at it, because it is one less idiot I will have to deal with when looking for a man

Now all this macho stuff that is spewed on this board between you guys is fine here, but I know what goes on behind closed doors. I have been intimate with the most “MACHO” and I have watched you all turn into little boys. Say it isn’t so, say it isn’t true, but there is no better psycologist than a naked women.

Guys, just look at yourselves, you know what I am talking about. You will never admit it, and I expect to get some harsh comments telling me I am fooloish, but that is the beauty of being a woman, and alll of my female friends say the same thing.. Many Many times the big man on campus becomes the little boy in the bedroom (not penis size wise, but emotionally). And you know what, there is nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.

A real woman knows exactly what she wants, A real, wants a confident man. A real woman wants a man to just be himself, A real woman will never stand for these silly PUA antics.

Guys take my advice, if you want a woman, a real woman, not some little girl, uyou are going about it the wrong way.