Core statements of the book "Why the Seduction Community S*cks"

[DiegoSantori]

Just finished reading a book called "Why the Seduction Community s*cks".

Let me give you a summary:



Waves of the Seduction Community

- Early pioneers of Seduction Community focused on observing the behaviors of naturally attractive men and imitating them.

- Second wave of Seduction Community studied the mindsets and belief systems that allowed naturally attractive men to break all the rules and structures and still get the results ("****y + Funny", etc.).

- Third wave of Seduction Community: Endgame/Getting real. Guys became sick of having to pretend, to be fake, to hide who they were.



Comparing two salesmen

- 1st salesman is constantly trying to improve his sales techniques and to convince everyone to buy his products but at the end of the day, he is selling the same products as everyone else. He has mediocre success.

- 2nd salesman is not desperately trying to convince everyone to buy his stuff. He's simply chilling out. He doesn't even seem like he cares if people buy his stuff or not. He has tremendous success, not because of his emotional shifting techniques, not because of his Alpha male body language, but because he's not selling the same products as everyone else. He's turning the tables: he's being a CUSTOMER instead of a SALESMAN by shopping around to find the person that he decides is worthy of having his wonderful and unique products.



Self-confidence

- Authors says that the self-confidence that the seduction gurus have been ramming down your throat is self-belief, which is only one component of self-confidence. There are two major parts to confidence - and the other major part that they're missing is self-acceptance. It's accepting that you have everything you could ever need, right now, without needing a polite smile, a positive response or a phone number to feel good about yourself.



On alpha males

- There is not only ONE type of alpha males. Some alphas are very macho. Some are very loving and accepting. Some are very driven and focused. Some are very relaxed and playful.



You can never control the way women respond to you

- They can respond negatively because you're wearing the same cologne as their ex-boyfriend.

- They can respond negatively because they've just eaten cheese cake and feel fat.

- They can respond negatively because they've just seen another girl wearing the same dress as them and they don't feel beautiful or special.



On the human brain

- Your Left prefrontal cortex is the judgmental and analytical side of your brain.

- Your Right prefrontal cortex just knows your experience of the present moment.

- R-type thinking (thinking with your Right prefrontal cortex) is experiential, intuitive, creative and purpose-driven.

- R-type thinking doesn't try to label her response. It just knows how she feels to you.

- R-type thinking doesn't try to work out the perfect thing to say. It's just assessing whether she feels like the type of person you want in your life.

- As you're not worried about following routines or structures and care far more about experiencing who she is and how you feel around her, you naturally qualify.

- If you're learning lines and techniques and methods and tactics to deploy when you get around beautiful women, all you're doing is training yourself to L-type thinking, which is the exact type of thinking that makes meeting, dating and attracting women hard work and far less successful.

 

[RangerMIke]

The principle problem with the seduction community is that they put female acceptance front and center. Everything is about your success with women. And that you have to somehow 'sell yourself' to a 'customer'.

That is putting the cart before the horse. And you are not selling anything.... really you aren't, what is she buying? What level of investment does she put into you? What consideration is she 'really' giving you, and what does she get in return. Truth is you are just giving something away... anything given away has no value.

Don't waste your time with women that are not interested in you, an never chase or game a woman that is NOT willing to invest time in you.

Be the very best you can be and go fishing. Toss your line in the water (approach), do you get a bit (is she interested), reel her in (act like a man).

 

[zekko]

On alpha males

- There is not only ONE type of alpha males. Some alphas are very macho. Some are very loving and accepting. Some are very driven and focused. Some are very relaxed and playful.

Thanks for the summary. I quoted this part because I liked it. I really hate the way the community has tried to develop this narrow little set of behaviors and declare that "alpha". The truth is, there are as many different personalities that are alpha as there are alphas. Every person is unique. The idea that there are all these cookie cutter personalities running around is ridiculous. And all that is IF you believe in the alpha concept at all.

I also liked the "third wave of Seduction Community", where guys get sick of having to pretend, to fake, and to hide who they are. I've always thought doing that sounded about as supplicating and (excuse the term) "beta" as it can get:

"Hey girl, I don't care what you think and I'm not putting you on a pedestal. And to prove it, I'm going to change every aspect of my personality just to please you". LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO frigging L!

 

[DiegoSantori]

I also liked the "third wave of Seduction Community", where guys get sick of having to pretend, to fake, and to hide who they are. I've always thought doing that sounded about as supplicating and (excuse the term) "beta" as it can get:

"Hey girl, I don't care what you think and I'm not putting you on a pedestal. And to prove it, I'm going to change every aspect of my personality just to please you". LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO frigging L!

PUA can cause serious damage to a man who is trying to find his path in this world. I can tell, because PUA destroyed me when I was around 18-20 years old. I was so naive. I read all these techniques and thought that I had the key to success. Before I found PUA, I just did what I wanted to do and I naturally had success with women. But then I f***** it all up when I started to believe in those stupid theories and strategies. I remember, I had this date with this cute chick. She was visually attracted to me but when I began to bore her with my silly scripted PUA routines, she lost interest real quick. Thank god I'm the normal me again. My message to everyone out there: Don't listen to Pick Up Artists! Just don't! I had to learn it the hard way. You don't have to.

 

[zekko]

My message to everyone out there: Don't listen to Pick Up Artists! Just don't! I had to learn it the hard way. You don't have to.

I think there are some good ideas among the PUA theories. But some other things they say are just incredibly stupid IMO. You have to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff. I think the overall mindset can lead to overanalysis though, which can be harmful.

But I most definitely agree with your last statement: You definitely do not need to study PUA to have some success with women. Although the gurus themselves (and even many of the posters here) seem to depict guys with PUA knowledge as some sort of "super" men who can and will always outmaneuver what they consider to be the average uneducated schmuck off the street.

 

[DiegoSantori]

I think there are some good ideas among the PUA theories. But some other things they say are just incredibly stupid IMO. You have to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff. I think the overall mindset can lead to overanalysis though, which can be harmful.

Yes. Overanalysis destroys attraction in next to no time, no doubt. PUA is good at observing attractive traits. The problem, however, is that you have to be authentic when you do Push&Pull and all that stuff. If you try to implement Push&Pull, for example, but you do it in an unauthentic, fake way, she will feel the fakeness. My rule of thumb is, if your gut feeling tells you it's the right moment to do it, then do it, because then it's real & authentic. As the author of this book said, if you're thinking about tactics & strategies, you're using the analytical side of your brain, consequently you're not living in the moment. If you want to spend some quality time with a woman, you have to ignore the analytical side of your brain and focus your attention on the Now.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You can read some of the way older posts of dudes who left this place a long time ago. They all say that you begin to notice patterns in a woman's actions (hence the 'strategies' and whatnot), but then you eventually realize that there isn't a pattern at all, it's just you.

Then they said that these rules arent meant as rules, but more so as guidelines instead. And that eventually you can begin to bend these rules/guidelines and even make your own to a certain extent.

This point is reached when a person is self-actualized and has found a greater purpose. It should be natural, sites like this shouldn't exist. The reason why nice guys lose is because they are trying to make themselves seem nicer than they are and show no masculinity. They are worrying about what others think. This is not natural for ANYONE. Until you are concerned with just yourself, then you cannot reach this point. You will fail to reach higher self-esteem.

 

[DiegoSantori]

The reason why nice guys lose is because they are trying to make themselves seem nicer than they are and show no masculinity. They are worrying about what other think.

In other words, IDGAF attitude is the key. If I wrote a book for guys who are eager for knowledge, it would consist of one sentence: Develop an IDGAF attitude.

 

[ubercat]

Agree guys but you can also make it a virtuous feedback loop. You can use tactics against your worst self too.

EG quite often my new girlfriend tries to drag me into discussion about some trivial piece of crap. With a nonchalant tone I just say I don't care very much. And then say I really should be better about caring.

Re-inforces the frame with the girlfriend and reminds me actually not to care.

Because I've set up that frame, later on I'll just be able to give her the look and a half smile and keep my damned mouth shut.

But I don't understand why people here are so down on the pua guys. A lot of the tactics actually work, e.g. I've scored probably a dozen chicks with the Fake palm read routine.

It's just like cooking. The tactics are the spices if you make a meal that's 100% spices of course nobody will be happy.

And you can hand an inexperienced Cook all the secret spices of a master but it won't make him a master chef.

 

[mynameisntNigel]

Hey! I made apost mentioning this book on the High School forum on May 1!

Yeah, it's a great book. Its message was "Just convey fun to her and go along with it." But in my post, I said that not everything works for everyone. The conventional stuff on SoSuave works for some people, but on others (like me) who have tried them, they just plain don't.

Conversely, being overly nice works for some guys.

Being a great friend works for some guys.

You just have to figure out what works and doesn't. That's how it is for me. I still haven't gotten a single date. I've been sniped at on this site for a while because people thought and made assumptions that I was a needy person that I'm no. This site has become nigh an abomination unto me. I haven't figured it out for myself, and maybe I never will. But until I come to either (A) how it works or (B) something teaches me that it will never happen... I just have to keep looking.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I got myself into a lot of trouble when I was younger with PUA tactics. I was hitting on EVERY single woman I could find and throwing down game like crazy, most of it didn't work. But eventually if you throw enough sh1t on the wall some is going to stick, then you just practice using those techniques hundreds of times until it works perfectly, finally you travel abroad and realize that the women at home are so fcked up that you never actually needed all this stuff in the first place if you had just changed countries.