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check_mate_kid_uk

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We all have our game together, some better then others. We all have strong points in our game and weak points. My strong point is conversation, in particular C&F and neg-hits as well as general humour. I will pass on my knowledge to those who do not have it…





How to cold approach

Find the girl, make sure she is not busy and not with any 1 that could be a boyfriend, it’s often best to target a girl on her own as she has no friends that are potential **** blocks. If you are the kind of guy that is intimidating then go for a girl in a group. You need to be confident, and this is my favourite method of cold approaching.

You walk past her at get eye contact (not essential but recommended), then walk up to her and say “I couldn’t help but notice you staring at me from across the street” (good use of C&F) follow up with “hi I’m *insert name*” she will tell you her name, then if you are in a town or city centre etc say “so what are you doing here today” she will tell you, if it is something you can talk about then talk about it, if she says she is going bowling ask her if she goes bowling often and how good is she at bowling etc.. And this is what you are doing in town today you are going to the cinema, no you do not have to go but that’s what you have to tell her simply because of the conversational possibilities it brings up, such as talking about films. If you are not in town then improvise, just say what are you doing today, you can still say you are going to town to the cinema latter.

This is what you might say next, “how old are you?” “What do you do for a living?” like I said that’s what you might say next but it’s not what I would do, these questions need to be answered, but not now. The previous paragraph builds rapport, so why shatter it with unnecessary questions that will not get you the number! This is not an interview so do not make it seem like one.

Instead what you will talk about is hobbies, but do not talk about cars, talk about something you both would like or just ask her about her hobbies, girls like a good listener but do not over do it, you do not just ask her questions you have to give your opinion and say your own things, otherwise it is an interview.

You want to try and talk to her for a while at least 10 minutes, if you both have 30 minutes to spare then you can talk for 30 minutes, I would say the maximum is about an hour, but I think you should aim for 10 minutes and make sure you quite whilst you are ahead, if you are losing rapport after 15 minutes then do not try and talk for half an hour, number close.

There’s one rule for number closing, do not ask if you can have her number, you are telling her to give you it, do not use the lame “can I have your number” you must say “its been fun talking to you (emphasis on fun, and how ever much you might desire to say nice instead of fun, don’t do it, you must say fun, girls want a fun guy) how about you give me your number and we can carry on talking latter”





Another scenario

I had a problem, there was a girl at my new school I had never spoken to and it is hard to cold approach some 1 you see around a fair bit because if you get rejected you will see her again and mostly because well why now why not earlier, anyway to me it just feels weird. I could have cried about how I could not do it, but rather I found an effective method.

Walk towards here look at her try and get EC although it is not essential it helps, and then say “hi *insert any girls name*” she will look confused, well she is right to, that was not her name. Follow up with “whoops my mistake, wrong person, you look just like my friend *insert name used earlier*” I’m sure this has happened to you and you walked off after explaining yourself. Well this time you use the chance.

Say to her “iv seen you around here quite a few times, what is your name” I do not think I need to say much more about this just find out a bit about her, hobbies and the lot, as well as trying to build rapport, no number close you will see her again so there is no need, and next time you see her you can talk to her with out any problems.





Open ended questions

I’m not a fan of these, the roots of an open ended question are very important basics but the actual questions are ones such as “what is the greatest experience you have ever felt” it is basically a question which requires a detailed answer and requires thought, not just yes or no but in practice many examples given would freak girls out. The root is to use words like how what why, and basically the answer can not be yes or no. Do not start using weird examples of open ended questions but do change the way you ask question.

Instead of asking “did you enjoy your holiday?” ask “how was your holiday”

Instead of asking “did you like the film” ask “how idd you find the film” “what did you like about the film”

If you ask which do you prefer this or this, ask why!

That’s all there is to it really.





Neg-hits

Neg-hits AKA my best friend, girls flirt and guys tease and this is where neg-hits come in, some guys do not believe in them, I swear by them. A neg-hit is just teasing, it is like making fun of her in a joking kind of way and will make girls go crazy over you. The only rules are do not neg-hit actual specific problems with a girl that she can not change, and do not neg-hit her looks unless you both know that she looks exceptionally good.

If the girl is smart and very good looking, compliment her on her being smart and then say “but I guess you cant be smart and good looking” remember to only say it as a joke, possibly followed by “only joking” or if not then at least look her in the eyes and smile.

Neg-hits have to be funny, and as they are a tool I use them after compliments, this drives girls wild!

Me: that’s a nice jumper
Girl: thanks
Me: yeah, it’s in fashion, my grand mum and her friends wear ones just like it






compliments

Do not compliment them on something not true, for example, a girl that is not clever, is going to catch on right away if you tell her she is really clever, because she knows she is not! A HB5 also knows that she does not look great!

rule 1: never compliment her on her looks other then saying something like "you look nice today" because an ugly girl knows she is not good looking and a good looking girl knows what you are up to.

rule 2: never compliment her on something that is not true

rule 3: never compliment her on her boobs etc...

rule 4: do not suck up to her with compliments

rule 5: compliment her casually do not make too much of it, say it like it is nothing, like you would say anything else!

Now this is what you should compliment girls on clothes hair and jewellery yes its as simple as that, they spend so long getting ready, this is what they want people to notice and yet what know 1 bothers to compliment them about. By doing this you are being honest, you are begin different, you are being casual about it and not sucking up, it is truly the best thing to compliment them on!







C&F

****y and funny, I am are you? This is basically about being ****y and funny, what more can I say, being ****y is being arrogant and big headed, apparently this is bad, and it is in large doses, so is medicine, but we have medicine in small doses and the same goes for being ****y, if you try and be a little arrogant people will pick up and not like it, but if you act full of yourself and over confident in what you say then you are at the right level.

As an example just keep saying at every appropriate moment how hot you look.

“Is it hot in here or is it me, actually that’s a stupid question, its me!”
“I’m just that dam good”
does it intimidate you to talk to some 1 of my class”

here’s my favourite “I’m smart, clever ,sexy and modest” *sarcastic looks from other people* “well yes, by saying that I’m being modest”

I can not explain funny, its something you just have, there’s no reason for an example because its about improvisation but if you what great stand up comedians this can help you come up with your own stuff by looking at there stuff.

Note: do not try and think of funny things to say before hand, because not only is this hard to do, you will find that the opportunity to say it will not arise! Buy a jerry Seinfeld stand up comedy video or something.



Well that’s my article on how to converse, any questions feel free to ask

Hope iv been a help
 

check_mate_kid_uk

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BUMP
 

Dukester

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nice advice man.
one comment, about the open-ended questions:

these are good to ask, but only after you build rapport with her, and get her in her comfort zone.

you just dont go up to someone, and ask them open-ended questions, cuz that'll freak them out.

once they "know" you (as more than just a stranger), then you can ask open-ended questions. this will open her up a little more than she already has
 

DJBen

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An alright over-view of the general things people have said on this board.

One thing though... I know a few other people that agree here... good grammar and spelling make an article a lot more flowing. You actually get drawn in a lot more - which basically means it'll have more effect.
 

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jonny football hero

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Although people think this is good advice (which it probably is) i disagree. I feel that C+f, Neg-hits, and all the other techniques are all bull..........The only way you can keep a conversation going is to have exp. There is no point learning a whole load of script, because it'll sound un-natural. Good work though.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

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johny, im not saying to learn long routines, just learn a short opening, and as for technequs i was giving examples, i do not mean use these ones, i was explaining what they are, neg hits and C&F have to be spontanious or they will not work i aggree with that but i do think they are good once you learn how to use them well.
 
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