Conversation Situation...

[Corndowg]

Oh. First off I read the bible numerous times. I'm already somewhat skilled at being a DJ. I picked up about 2 girls (seperate occasions) the other day. I did a great job with the opening lines and conversation. I'm good with those because you simply have to ask a couple questions about the past (high school or whatever) and you basically get to know the person.

Now the problem is like the 3rd or 4th dates. I'm totally lost here. Conversation isn't simple anymore. I know a lot about her and she knows enough about me. I'm not a very talkative guy cause i don't have much to talk about. These girls go on and on about what she did with him and why shes a ***** and all that bs. When it comes to me, i ain't like that. I'm just a mellow "cool" chill type of person.

I caught myself in this one girls life and she's totally like "Sara Sociallife." It's all shes about. I recently brought her over cause she wanted to chill with a couple of my friends and i know she thought we were all lame f--ks.

So basically what i'm looking for is like the answer to a few questions.

Like..."What do you do after you've already been to A LOT of movie and dinner dates with one girl?" I know you should mix up the dates and all that but even with that, when i end up alone with a chick she always does most the talking and i come off as a boring person who really doesn't say much.

Another question i got is "What happens when you have nothing to do with a girl?" This other girl I know i only see her every once in a while and we go cruisin and talk for a bit or we go for a "walk and talk" but after a while...boredom pushes itself in and i have nothing to say and she has nothing more to say.

Any tips or info to help me out?

 

[golf299]

sorry, i can't help you, but i'd like to hear what others have to say...

 

[TheTraveller]

This is why I can't date shy girls (or reserved or ones with monotone personality).

I'm not the most talkative guy but I can contribute to conversations and I'd consider myself well-adjusted socially but quiet at times. That's why I just have to be with somebody who can "hold up their end of the bargain". Otherwise, it will make for a boring night.

I find I overcome the silence with girls by being sarcastic/witty. That's just my personality and it works WONDERS! Just try it sometime.

As far as not figuring out what to say, the key is: LISTEN to what SHE says. You'll get tons of cues from that to follow up on.

- t

 

[Mr. Mystery]

You don't have to be a real talkative guy, as long as you listen to them. If shes a real talkative girl let her talk. If you hit a silence in the convo, whisper to her something you find sexy about her.

As far as mixing up the dates, I would say its a great idea. Do something fun with her. Go bowling, visit a toy store and just look around, miniture golf, invite her to play your favorite sport with you, ect.

Mr. Mystery

 

[DjDreamer]

Mr Mystery is right...

If you can't say anything interesting to a girl, do something interesting with her, take her to somewhere interesting.

Not being perceived as a good talker is not necessary bad thing. With your personality it's easy for you to be perceived as a good listener. You shouldn't worry about being liked by everyone because beauty of conversation is in the ears of the beholder.

You have to make her feel good, you have to keep her talking, don't worry about not talking a lot , don't be insecure about yourself. Realize "opposite forces attract and like forces repel" so don't try challenge her for the talkative trophy.

 

[aguynamedwill]

I would say its a great idea. Do something fun with her. Go bowling, visit a toy store and just look around, miniture golf, invite her to play your favorite sport with you, ect

This is excellent advice. Go shoot pool, go to a museum/cultural event, carnival, nightclub. Is there anything you like to do, and would do without the girl anyways? If so, invite her along.

As far as conversation goes, remember that quality dates are better than the quantity of them. At least that's my opinion, but I wouldn't want to see a girl every day. Once or twice a week and there's been enough of a gap for something interesting to have happened to at least one of you.
When she asks you about you, if its a normal boring 'get to know you' question, give an absurd answer that is totally un-believable. How old are you?... 5,678, oh and a half. It might make her laugh, and it'll definetely be more interesting than '25'.

Talk about her, try to remember what she says, and talk about the situation around you. Fat people, incompetent waitresses, whatever. Learn Humor . Keep up to date with current events. Don't worry about silences. Everyone has those. And people who don't stop talking are actually pretty annoying.

Practice helps. I used to be very shy and had trouble in conversations. I'm learning to hold my own, and to provide topics if my date is shy.

 

[Walden]

Don't feel like you have to make conversation , do you feel that way with your buddies ? of course not.

As for what to do to vary dates, s*** man , buy a what's on guide to your town and go see some shows or some new bands or something.

Finally , if yr jut trying to tax that ass , invite her to your place to watch a video, bottle of good wine , something to nibble at , lights down low...