Conversation is Terrible with me

xenten

Don Juan
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Hello. I haven't been on this website in a while. I am in a relationship, we just had our 1 year anniversary a week ago. I can conversate fine with my girl, but with other people I am terrible. I am just at a lose with words in a group setting. Small talk I can do. I don't really know what to say other than questions, I may be scared of what they will think of what I say. I need some help with conversating and not being the one in a group that stays silent. I really want to fix this. I feel it is hindering me from knowing people as well as I can. Any help would be appreciated.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
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scroll to the bottom of this page
click on bible
click on step 7 conversation
there are lots of golden threads there
 

Rex Man

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Man up fool! Have fun in the convo and others are sure to follow. It's better to be slightly too quirky than too serious. Once you open up the flow of communication and establish a comfort level; the other person(s) can jump right on the chat bandwagon. Do this: today instead of worrying about furthing conversation, just worry about your own pleasure and talk about things that genuinely interest you about them. Try it!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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penkitten said:
scroll to the bottom of this page
click on bible...
Is this going to be your canned response since you've recently found how to access the Holy Grail also known as the DJB Pen? :p
 

kdnash82

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Rex Man said:
Man up fool! Have fun in the convo and others are sure to follow. It's better to be slightly too quirky than too serious. Once you open up the flow of communication and establish a comfort level; the other person(s) can jump right on the chat bandwagon. Do this: today instead of worrying about furthing conversation, just worry about your own pleasure and talk about things that genuinely interest you about them. Try it!
This is good advice. Conversation should always be enjoyed. It should never feel like a chore. It's fun.

This is a trick that I use with people that I've just met. When initiating the conversation, I talk about something I know.

Usually I ask questions that I would want to answer myself. For example. If I'm on a date with a girl that I've just met.

Me: So what do you usually do for fun?
Her: Oh, I don't know. I guess I just blah blah blah... What about you?
Me: That's cool. I'm into so and so, but sometimes I also blah blah blah. Have you ever done blah blah blah or so and so?
Her: No, but I've always wanted to try so and so
Me: Really? I usually go out to blah blah blah when I'm doing so and so. It's really cool and when I'm out there I feel so relaxed and calm. You have any places where you just feel like you can chill with no worries?
Her: Yeah, there is this one place where blah blah blah blah blah.

This is just an example. Basically the flow of conversation is to ask a question that you wanna talk about. Add your two cents to the conversation about that subject, then twist another follow up question with something she said while answering the first question or with something you said in answering your own question.
 

ViciousDADogg

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You can talk about absolutely nothing. Delivery is what counts. :D


Turn to VH1 on Mondays at 9 PM EST. Observe mystery talk.
 

penkitten

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Is this going to be your canned response since you've recently found how to access the Holy Grail also known as the DJB Pen? :p
am i a cheese today or what?
but in my own defense, i haven't needed to "see" the bible since the brown forum days, and the link was at the top.
now the top has lots of other things....
:D
 
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