Conversation Advice? Too easy?

[DragonBlood]

Hi guys, first post so making it a good one!

HB8, tons in common, POF girl, got the number. I include the conversation so far.... My concern is Im getting free topics, free topics everywhere! How can I make the conversation more exciting?. Going to start using the number a bit, maybe setup a date early next week. I want sparks to fly in person but I dont feel my interest increasing because of so many free topics, thoughts? What Im doing is getting results, but I dont want the date turning into an interview!


[day 1, it was getting late]

DB: What part of [city] is that?

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HB: There, down by the river. Where else would you get so much water?

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DB: haha true that. Im new enough to [city] but the weather is pretty bad. What about you live in [city] long? Says here you have a MSc, [college]?

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HB: I'm in [city] for over 2 years. I did my masters in [another city].

Where are you from? How long have you been in [city] for?

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DB: Im in and out of [city] doing my PhD at the moment. Just looking for an excuse to move to [city] really

2 years is a long time are you working?

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DB: What are you getting your PhD in? That sounds exciting How many years have you been a PhD student for?

Yeah. I'm working in [street] for a [...] company. Like the job, probably sometimes I 'like it too much' ...

[day 2]

DB: Ah about 5 months or so... only 3 and a half years to go... ! My supervisor has hinted though that if the research goes well and we get some publications I could be looking at supervising some of my own MSc students by the end of the year. I certainly admire his faith!

You work in [...] too? Thats great! We probably have tons in common. [street] is pretty much on top of [college] right? Wow well my topic is in [...] but its too much to type on POF.

Why dont you drop me some digits and we will grab lunch next week on campus. Your job sounds interesting.. I would enjoy hearing about it in person for sure. Enjoy the job too much? haha tell me about it

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HB (double post): Sorry ... I pressed the Send button by mistake on the phone. D'ooohhh. Now, the improved version of the message

Yeah ... It sounds like we have a good few things in common. It would be lovely if we met for lunch some time next week.

Even if you're doing your PhD just for 5 months, it sounds like you're doing a great job, since your supervisor wants to give you more responsibility. That sounds great. I know how it feels when other people trust you more than you actually believe in yourself. I get that sometimes as well. It just puts me under more pressure. Anyway, I think the secret is to be very confident about anything you say and people will just believe it.

I am a [title] (i.e. I break everything I touch), I do various types of [work] etc. There is more to it than that but we'll chat about it face to face.

You mentioned in your profile that you enjoy reading. What kind of books do you read?

And my phone no is [phone number] - [name].

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DB: Thats cool, I think the second message is of much higher quality (in joke) I look forward to chatting in person.

Thanks, Im so busy right now I never looked at it that way before... I agree confidence is important. The alternative sends shivers down my spine!

I do enjoy reading, I have stacks of [...] books... not all good! Recently I was reading [book] which is ok. I find myself reading more journal articles for obvious reasons.

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HB: It makes sense you're spending more time reading journal articles rather than books. Probably you're already sick of reading by the end of your day.

I used to read a lot of non-fiction but in the past year I re-oriented towards fiction. Lately I discovered [author], one of the greatest contemporary novelists. Love his books. Now I'm reading [novel] - fairly complex book but very interesting and challenging.

Actually I think one of the lads in work was reading the book you mentioned. There are a few of us like that in that office ...

Come on... is that not the most boring conversation youve ever read? It needs more passion!

 

[pdx1138]

time to stop messaging and meet up in person.

get the number, setup a date as rapidly as possible.

What other say about doing it too long killing it is true.

Recently a girl I met on okcupid was super interested but as my schedule in and out of town happened it delayed us meeting for two weeks and the day before she said she met someone else.

gotta keep the fire alive!

 

[DragonBlood]

Thanks pdx Im thinking the same thing. If you look at my last reply in the chat, I didnt ask any questions buts shes eager to keep going.

I was thinking Tue because it suits myself, but maybe I will push for Mon. I was going to go NC at this stage, except maybe a text here and there tomorrow to see if the number works, and use number to setup.

 

[DragonBlood]

Right moved over to texting today. Asked how my day was bla bla bla, teased about how see is trying to impress me, cut it short because Im busy, wished a happy v-day and she wished back.

Im going to ring over the weekend and set something up for next week. Theres a farmers market on Tuesdays so maybe this... How should I handle if she sends me a bunch of texts in between then?

 

[DragonBlood]

Time for an update me thinks!

Ok so I took pdx advice and gave her a ring on Friday to go to a party that I was going to anyway (instead of waiting till early next week). She was happy to hear from me but didnt feel confident going, and in hindsight I can understand this. She offered to meet sometime over the weekend and not to over think the decline so I was sure she was actually interested.


I send her a text over the weekend to get dinner on Tuesday, she showed up and we had a good laugh. No award pauses or anything like that. I did notice though that she was too shy to hold ANY eye contact with me for the first hour or so, only looking at me when I looked away or obviously diverting eye contact. It was notably ridiculous. This is the first time we meet in person... ? so she was either overwhelmed by my manliness or was still feeling unsure? She is very busy at work due to a pressing deadline so I dont get the impression she goes out often with men.


So after two hours or so of a dinner I asked her to drop me off for my bus. She sat in the car park with me for awhile and wasnt in any hurry. Considering I had been on a boring dinner date (because she was uncomfortable to go to a party) at this point there had been no kino opportunities at all! I know the importance of kissing on the first date but it would really of came out of the blue and probably would have scared her off. I mean there are girls at work I would be more comfortable kissing than this person due to lack of kino opportunities. So I decided to just tap her on the shoulder and leave. Strangely at this point she didnt leave the car park (directly behind the bus stop) for another 10+ minutes.... ! ***** expecting me to come back???

Anyway before I left the car I said we should go get a movie next week, she said she might be busy meeting her deadline and to try again after 12th March when she would have more free time. I intend to text a movie date this weekend anyway. I tend to blow off the busy excuse because if she missing the deadline of this product she wont have a job! If she does show up for the date I intend to hold her close right at the start and close for a kiss.

Oh yeah, following morning I text her "hey [name] you did good. bla bla bla". She text back 20 min later telling me she was glad I had a good time.


So my questions are this?

How can you create more kino with a girl on the first date, especially if shes only comfortable with something like a dinner date?

Do you think she will accept the second date or bail without a kiss close? Whats your experience in this?

Should I tell her shes paying this time when I set up the next date?

On the first date she offered to split the bill, but I paid for both meals. Im thinking I should make her pay for the movie tickets this time so she doesnt think Im a walking wallet and needs to invest in time with myself as well. thoughts?

 

[DragonBlood]

http://sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2005674&postcount=9

Ugh, so stupid. This post made me realise a mistake. Thanks Harry!

At the dinner date, she was driving and thus couldnt drink so although the vibing was good she was still on guard I guess. My questions in the previous post still stand but it is definitely something to joke about via text, or maybe better in person.

"Ugh I just realised something stupid."
Her: "What?"
"I will tell you later, Im thinking we should go out again at bla bla bla".... ?

Maybe too chat up liney though.