Conquering male emotions

[thefonz]

All my life i've been a REALLY emotional guy. I can't help it sometimes. It's the way i was raised having no father figure around and emulating my mother all the time Even when i'm trying not to show it, that shows. I wanna master my emotions, i don't want the daily grind and casual encounters to get to me.

My question is for all you recovering emotional dj's, the ones who got teary eyed watching apollo 13. What did you do to overcome this, or at least keep it at bay? I"m the kinda guy that goes through 10 different moods in one class session. I use to fall for the first girl that gazed in my eyes, i don't anymore but when i try to control it i just tend to look really uncomfortable and not in control at all. To me it's like kinda like noises are alot louder, people are more irritating, angier, comforting than they really should be, ya know? What are your secrets? Mindsets? I'm looking for some kind of desensitation skills.

 

[Jariel]

I can really relate to you and I have to advise that you do not try to desensitize yourself. Speaking from experience this is a big mistake.

Because you are an emotional person, I am going to guess that you are very passionate about certain things in your life and an ambitious person. Unfortunately, without that passion you can quickly become cold, uninspired and even a less likeable person.

Personally, I have learned to accept my emotions, accept that I will get hurt and that I will get intense, but I just try stay alert and careful. Most importantly is knowing when to let go and give up on a lost cause.

Oneitis can be a great thing when it is returned and falling in love is a fantastic experience that a lot of over-cautious and desensitized guys miss out on.

 

[diablo]

Anything Else...

I'm of the belief that you are the way you are born. I'm an emotional robot... while I can feign many different emotions, they generally aren't truly what I'm feeling. Much like acting.

 

[alphawolfx]

hey i used to laugh at when the guy's head got bashed in in the movie braveheart


and now my eyes water when i see something sad

i don['t feel bad about it, i'm just me - emotions and all


i learned something, recently

your body refelects what you are feeling - if you are happy, it's hard to frown

but it works the other way, too
if your head is down and your frowning, it's hard to be happy

so change your body to a relaxed, happy position (force a smile) and you will feel a little better

doesn't ALWYAS work when there's a very strong emotion, but it does help

best thing besides that is to go to your local bookstore and read up on that type of stuff

look up on the internet "best books for being overemotional" then see what amazon comes up with, and what related titles you can find...

then call up your local Barnes & Noble and see if they have any of those

Don't let the outside world affect you so much - you should be the one to affect the outside world

 

[MetalFortress]

Do NOT desensitize yourself. Trust me on this one.

 

[thefonz]

I just wanna desensitize myself at certain times of the day. the way i am everything coming at me overwhelms me more than it would say....diablo (I can't stop thinking about your chick man) It's like, i can't have many friends at one time cus all these different attitudes and personalities coming at me from all angles is just draining. I can't make my schedule too busy or i'll just crack and start going off on people. It's caused me to be kinda passive about things cus i worry i'll overreact to a situation. I'm getting better everyday, and i'm constantly learning. I just wanna know what you guys who have had this problem do about it.

 

[undesputable]

Read this book called emotional intelligence, is a hard read bc the tone is almost like a textbooks but the reading might be worth it for you.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Emotions are natures biggest gift to enjoy life.

Nicely put.

 

[Alpine]

I'm fvckin terrible for this. Green Mile, Schindlers list, Elephant man, Bambi, you name it I've got something in my eye.

My last ex thought I was sensitive and caring, but she was a fat munter so there.

Best watch alone with a box of Kleanex.

Funny you should mension the Apollo 13. The film was a bit lame to be honest.

But I saw a documentary in '95 called 'the day the earth stood still'. Absolutely fantastic. Old Gene Kranz was interviewed (Ed Harris) and he says 'we brought 'em back' and starts going all misty eyed (and he looks a hard fvckr) well I just couldn't help myself, fvckin strange.

Read his auto 'Failure is not an Option'

 

[thefonz]

Originally posted by Alpine

Funny you should mension the Apollo 13. The film was a bit lame to be honest.

Ya i know, but i was like 12 at the time and i was completely positive going into the movie they were gonna die at the end....so when they came on the radio i started to get all boo hoo. I remember that cus i went to the first megaplex showcase in my area with my cousin who is completly emotionless, and she looked at me when the lights came on with a countenance of complete disgust I never heard the end of it.......Whatever, if i saw the movie today i'd probably think it was a little cheesy, what with all the oneliners, and lame hollywood type jokes and all.

I'm gettin better though, i held my own when i saw Passion of the Christ. The last movie that made me teary was like a year ago, i think it was Antoine Fisher.....that kids a good actor.

 

[So Many Ways]

Anyone remember that movie with Denzel Washington and Meg Ryan, I can't remember the name of it, it was a military movie. I saw the movie with two of my boys and the last scene made me teary eyed.

I tell you, my homies did not let me hear the end of it. I got so much sh!t over that it wasn't even funny.

I agree with sazuki, managing your emotions is the key. When I first started trying this seduction stuff, I tried to make myself as indifferent as possible and even though I was attracting women, I became so indifferent that I felt nothing for them and I think I became a little cold. I agree with Metalfortress, you don't want to become some sort of cold robot.

Embrace who you are, don't be ashamed, going against your basic nature is not what you want to do.

 

[KillingTime]

Im pretty emotional too but the key is to gain control over it, it's pretty important to be the one in control over your emotions.
If your watching a movie by yourself go ahead and cry your eyes out, but you should get to the point where say, a woman, wouldn't have the same effect on you if you don't want it to be so.... always want to be in control of yourself.

It's hard to get to that point but practice makes close to perfect.

 

[Lifeforce]

Don't try to desentisize yourself. I come from a background where I shut down my emotions to survive. Now I have trouble feeling anything, but it's getting better, I get happy every time I catch myself cry to a movie or really enjoying stuff. Don't try to **** around with your emotions, let them be. They are the gift for a happy life. I think a reason so many men kill themselves is because they have stopped feeling stuff and feel all dead inside.

Some really good replies in this thread.

 

[theSpeculator]

Originally posted by diablo
Anything Else...

I'm of the belief that you are the way you are born. I'm an emotional robot... while I can feign many different emotions, they generally aren't truly what I'm feeling. Much like acting.

I can tell from your picture you are a robot. So, I don't disagree with anything you said here.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Emotions are natures biggest gift to enjoy life.

Homey you can buy into this crap if you want to, but the most successful men in the world are men who master their own spirit or emotions.

No one should have more control over your spirit then you do, and when you cant master your emotions that is what happen. She can get you jealous whenever she feels, or angry, or any other emotion she wants too.

Start watching more movies and shows geared towards men. High testorone movies like King Arthur, brave heart, saving private ryan, anything with action, and STRONG MEN (every man gets excited after watch war movies).

Humans learn through observation, and when you grow up without a strong male role model you become victim to learning how to act from a woman, or this society's crazy notion of a Man.

Always remember there should always be a clear difference between A MAN AND A WOMAN.

ps. And I mean Clear!

 

[Lifeforce]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Homey you can buy into this crap if you want to, but the most successful men in the world are men who master their own spirit or emotions.

No one should have more control over your spirit then you do, and when you cant master your emotions that is what happen. She can get you jealous whenever she feels, or angry, or any other emotion she wants too.

Start watching more movies and shows geared towards men. High testorone movies like King Arthur, brave heart, saving private ryan, anything with action, and STRONG MEN (every man gets excited after watch war movies).

Humans learn through observation, and when you grow up without a strong male role model you become victim to learning how to act from a woman, or this society's crazy notion of a Man.

Always remember there should always be a clear difference between A MAN AND A WOMAN.

ps. And I mean Clear!

I think you should come back when you actually have some experience from life. If you honestly can say that feeling emotions is crap then something is really wrong.

The differnece between a man and a woman is how we act, not how we feel. I might be dominant when I meet a girl and she's the opposite. I still might fall in love with her and she with me, however, the way I treat her will be very different from how she treats me. Emotions is not gender-based, it's the most basic and fundemental part off life. One part off it is to actually be open and let people into your life. They might hurt you and effect your spirit and emotions, but you will live a better life than if you shut yourself in and won't allow anyone to remotly effect you.

And btw, if you want high T-levels you lift weights, you don't sit down and watch some movie.

 

[Lifeforce]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Royal Elite:

I think your looking at this from the wrong way, this threat is about emotions in general, basically if you want succes with women you shouldn't show much emotion, that's what this site is partially about.

But we are talking bout emotions in general, watching movies by yourself, normal interactions with your family and friends.

And I generally don't identify with people from hollywood movies, a somewhat disturbing trend.

And who are in your eyes succesfull people? Rich people? I could care less about money and other nonsense like expensive cars.

For people who come from troubled family's learning to embrace emotions is a gift. This has nothing to do with women.

Well said!

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Lifeforce
I think you should come back when you actually have some experience from life. If you honestly can say that feeling emotions is crap then something is really wrong.

The differnece between a man and a woman is how we act, not how we feel. I might be dominant when I meet a girl and she's the opposite. I still might fall in love with her and she with me, however, the way I treat her will be very different from how she treats me. Emotions is not gender-based, it's the most basic and fundemental part off life. One part off it is to actually be open and let people into your life. They might hurt you and effect your spirit and emotions, but you will live a better life than if you shut yourself in and won't allow anyone to remotly effect you.

And btw, if you want high T-levels you lift weights, you don't sit down and watch some movie.

And this is the difference between Those well respected men in society and every other male. Emotions is human but emotional response is individual. Just because Im mad I should punch someone or throw a fit? Are you saying just because I got jealous of something I should now stalk outside of my girls house?

You cant control having a emotion but you can control how you deal with it, and wheather or not you suppress it or let it eat you away. Every society around the world respect and expect MEN to control themselves. Women are emotional and thus know how much effort it takes to control those emotions. That is why control is respected.

These cats will have you crying at Bambi, and sure She might say at the moment thats okay sweety but later to her friends she'll say He is such a wuss. I have personally spoken to many women who belittle their man behind their back for being sensitive and as they say girlie.

 

[ScrewIt]

Interesting post, i had a friend that ONLY grew up with a single mom also. I guess not having a good role model to follow can have negative side effects. Whenever i saw this dude, most of the time he'd have some kind of weird look like he was about to burst into tears or some ****. Plus he'd always get paranoid when people look at him, maybe he was a narcisist? plus he easily gets pissed off and takes **** too seriously, very insecure too. i guess that might explain why we didnt stay friends.

The Last Samurai was a sad movie yes...i felt bad for the samurais that died. and that was it.

Guess you could agree with the others not to desensitize yourself. But just learn not to make a big deal out of nothing. Dont take life too seriously. Life can be funny sometimes, take some time and laugh at it. just chill, sit back and relax....

remember , women dont like overly sensitive men. They like a hard outer core with a mushy inside who can be sensitive at certain times.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
Interesting post, i had a friend that ONLY grew up with a single mom also. I guess not having a good role model to follow can have negative side effects. Whenever i saw this dude, most of the time he'd have some kind of weird look like he was about to burst into tears or some ****. Plus he'd always get paranoid when people look at him, maybe he was a narcisist? plus he easily gets pissed off and takes **** too seriously, very insecure too. i guess that might explain why we didnt stay friends.

The Last Samurai was a sad movie yes...i felt bad for the samurais that died. and that was it.

Guess you could agree with the others not to desensitize yourself. But just learn not to make a big deal out of nothing. Dont take life too seriously. Life can be funny sometimes, take some time and laugh at it. just chill, sit back and relax....

remember , women dont like overly sensitive men. They like a hard outer core with a mushy inside who can be sensitive at certain times.

Yes what he said