Confused and Need Guidance

[-Marcus-]

I've been reading through for a bit and am hearing many new opinions and views, which is something that I've been looking for. However, although I want to implement many of the advice that has been given, I am having trouble understanding and would like some comprehension.

One thing that is repeatedly mentioned is that it is best to be a DJ and not show a side of being a "nice guy", as nice guys will lose out in the long run. Reflecting on myself, I am a kind and respectful guy and always treat girls well. I would like to try to be indifferent sometimes and use this to create a greater desire towards me, but I'm a bit nervous on implementing this, as I don't want to be rude or disrespectful towards anyone by accident. Does anyone have any advice for me to be able to use this DJ persona successfully? Any advice would help a lot. Really appreciate it and thanks for helping a brother out

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

It may help to draw a distinction between the 'nice guy' and the good guy. The nice guy is a turn off because he tends to over-value women before knowing their true colors. The good guy, or great guy, is not so needy, and will be cautious before getting too involved.

In learning DJ skills [how to get better with women], you do NOT need to radically alter yourself. Rather, you need to integrate these skills into your wider personality. Of course, you may have to go on a bit of a crash course first if you are hopeless with women.

 

[9Volt]

I've been reading through for a bit and am hearing many new opinions and views, which is something that I've been looking for. However, although I want to implement many of the advice that has been given, I am having trouble understanding and would like some comprehension.

One thing that is repeatedly mentioned is that it is best to be a DJ and not show a side of being a "nice guy", as nice guys will lose out in the long run. Reflecting on myself, I am a kind and respectful guy and always treat girls well. I would like to try to be indifferent sometimes and use this to create a greater desire towards me, but I'm a bit nervous on implementing this, as I don't want to be rude or disrespectful towards anyone by accident. Does anyone have any advice for me to be able to use this DJ persona successfully? Any advice would help a lot. Really appreciate it and thanks for helping a brother out

Forget putting on a "DJ persona" act. It's just an act you would need to keep up just to pander to what you think a chick or chicks want to either get your way always and or keep some chick trying to control her.

No one can truly control others but themselves.

You neither be a so-called "nice guy" who believes just because he's "nice" he's entitled to have any chick like him the way he wants nor an a-hole. A self-proclaimed "nice guy" wears that self given title as if no one else is a better catch than he is and believes no one else is actually a better person or nicer than he is.

You need to be the best qualities of both. Not a doormat, passive aggressive "nice guy". Nor an obnoxious azzhat. But a truly good guy. Confident not Conceited or c0cky. Cool, relaxed, social and not entitled.

Work out for yourself not specifically for chicks or their approval.

dress and groom your best in a style that fits and suits you.

be socially free and open with different people and build a solid trustworthy social circle. Drop the toxic people you meet.

do your best to progress forward in a positive direction in school and or work.

And realize even though you continue to improve your life that you or no one is guaranteed to get whatever or whoever you want everytime.

learn and grow from all experiences bad to not repeat mistakes or good.

 

[Roober]

Solid post @9Volt

Such a misunderstanding about the "nice guy" by many. Great distinction between a nice guy and a good guy.

 

[Tenacity]

I've been reading through for a bit and am hearing many new opinions and views, which is something that I've been looking for. However, although I want to implement many of the advice that has been given, I am having trouble understanding and would like some comprehension.

One thing that is repeatedly mentioned is that it is best to be a DJ and not show a side of being a "nice guy", as nice guys will lose out in the long run. Reflecting on myself, I am a kind and respectful guy and always treat girls well. I would like to try to be indifferent sometimes and use this to create a greater desire towards me, but I'm a bit nervous on implementing this, as I don't want to be rude or disrespectful towards anyone by accident. Does anyone have any advice for me to be able to use this DJ persona successfully? Any advice would help a lot. Really appreciate it and thanks for helping a brother out

Well, it's like sales, you develop an "attractive" product and you go sell it to the market.

1.) Your Product: Fix your looks, your finances, and your personality. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt, but you can fix your hair, put some contacts in, lose some weight, wear better clothes, etc. You can go to college and increase your annual pay to $50k living in a average cost of living area. You can fix your personality to where you can hold a DECENT convo with ANYBODY, as well as, just develop the art of having a GOOD conversation with a woman in general. This is basically being yourself, but being what I call your IMPROVED SELF.

2.) Go Sell The Product: Now go sell the product, which is just to play the numbers game. Let's say over a period of 10 days, you approach 20 girls, get 12 numbers, go out 6 dates, fvck 3 of them, and get into a relationship with 1 of them (or, continue fvcking the 3). It's a numbers game, just play the game/system.

Do not worry about putting any cartoon label on yourself like PUA, or Don Juan, or Alpha Male, or Beta Male, or Blue Pill, or Red Pill, or Papa Smurf, or Charlie Brown, or James Bond, or Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Just be your IMPROVED SELF and go SELL THE PRODUCT.

 

[playa99]

Being 'nice' is not the issue. Being a nice guy who has no self-belief, gets used by everyone in his life and is a general chump is the issue.

You can be 'nice' and get women in abundance. The difference is in truly believing that you are a great catch.

First you need to believe it, then make a plan and demo it to the world.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Be nice, but don't be a pushover. Do not be abused. Don't be scared or afraid of anything or anyone really.

 

[MrAddiction]

A self-proclaimed "nice guy" wears that self given title as if no one else is a better catch than he is and believes no one else is actually a better person or nicer than he is

That is not a way a nice guy thinks. That is more a way of a DJ thinking of being the prize as Pook put it and knowing to be a Great catch. A niceguy thinks in neither way of himself.

 

[9Volt]

That is not a way a nice guy thinks. That is more a way of a DJ thinking of being the prize as Pook put it and knowing to be a Great catch. A niceguy thinks in neither way of himself.

Nice guys think their niceness entitles them to be liked by the chick they choose then throw temper tantrums if the chick doesn't feel it for them.

This is proven when nice guys complain, mention how they're nice and rant about chicks only wanting "bad boys".

 

[MrAddiction]

Nice guys think their niceness entitles them to be liked by the chick they choose then throw temper tantrums if the chick doesn't feel it for them.

This is proven when nice guys complain, mention how they're nice and rant about chicks only wanting "bad boys".

I do arge with that statement. Absolutely right.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't confuse nice with being dishonest. Anyone that puts themselves second.. all the fvcking time, is just trying to manipulate those around him. There is nothing wrong with being kind.... just put yourself and what you want first and be honest about it.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, only needy desperate men manipulate women... and in the process make the dating pool a lot murkier for the rest of us. I really think the best thing to do is be that charming sexy decent great guy. Do NOT stoop to the level of the average women, and certainly hold them at arm's length. Be enough in yourself, and then look for the exceptional ones that are truly worth your attention. If this means you may go a few months without, so be it. All it takes is a bit of self-control.