Conflicting Advice

asif

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I’m new and have been reading the bible. I’m not dumb enough to think there is only one way to go about it; but it can be confusing.

Some parts say don’t say much to women, ask open-ended questions, let them do lots of the talking. Then, like in speed seduction, you should take control of the convo and direct the woman exactly where you want it to go (f*cking, of course).

Then you have the pure PUA’s who only want to f*uck as many women as possible. But others say the goal is to sort though them until you find a good one, then settle down.

The whole “improve yourself” section with the goal of then attracting women conflicts with the “learn the skills” section where “improvement” is measured by getting p*ussy.

Never complement: it’s ok to complement.

Never smile: smile a lot women love it.

Some, really don’t seem to like women at all, they seem angry at them and need to “fight back” because the whole world is stacked against men. Others say work the system the way it is; use it to your advantage.

See what I mean?

Anyway, my point is for us newbie’s, I guess it’s like a smorgasbord; just graze through and pick out what seems the best for you.

I know, some will flame me and say: “Welcome to the real world bub…” But some clarity would be better.

Are there some links to the “Cliff-notes” of the DJ Bible, anybody condense it down, sum it up? It’s a lot to read and, I’m not somebody that likes to spend all the time reading.
 

Bvbidd

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Mr. Fingers stuff (some of it) + Gunwitch (combined! GW by itself is scary, lol) seems to be what is best. Those guys both seem to be the most honest, and have improved themselves and their message is most congruent with reality IMO. The advice is as good as the poster's experience.

A lot of Pook is theoritical gayness, the basic message is okay IMO. The rest of the Bible is utter bullsh!t. The basic message, not to be desperate, and a challange WILL help though, IF she already likes you. It'll get a girl to chase you for a bit at least. If that's actually helping, no idea.

I'd like for this site to help as much as it says it does, but myself like alot others just end up coming here for comic releif a lot.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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asif said:
Anyway, my point is for us newbie’s, I guess it’s like a smorgasbord; just graze through and pick out what seems the best for you...
That's it. Do what feels comfortable for your personality.
asif said:
Are there some links to the “Cliff-notes” of the DJ Bible, anybody condense it down, sum it up? It’s a lot to read and, I’m not somebody that likes to spend all the time reading.
Yeah, but you'll only have a fraction of the picture if you depend on it as your sole source of information. It's good but don't expect to get the full grasp of DJism from just one source.

Learn to Pimp
 

Bonhomme

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Looking back on my frustrated chump days (I was never anything near "average"), I only needed a little "re-programming." It may be the same for you.

Take a look at where you're at: what's going right, what's going wrong, where you might have been steered the wrong way by believing what people say, as opposed to noticing what they do, etc. Then, as Francisco said, take an approach that works with and balances your own personality and character. Become your best, but don't try to be something you're not.

Take a look at the "sticky" right on the top of the "Tips" forum: the thread by photo1. That hits the basics, and is a good place to start.
 

asif

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Thanks for the links. I didn't know about Gunwitch or the Learn to Pimp stuff, but looks good. I'm out of a 4yr with my gf from college. She took a job on the west coast after graduation. I didn't want to go. We split, so its been a pretty sh*tty summer. Had mixed results with girls this summer. Couple of 2 dates and nothing more. Pretty clear I don't know what I'm doing.
 

everywomanshero

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There's good stuff in the bible and total crap, exactly what is going to be good and what is going to be crap *for you* is impossible for anyone to say. Keep that in mind.

On the other hand, if you are so skeptical that you never make any changes at all, then chances are not much will change (or at least not very quickly).

Quick Run through on what has been good advice for me:

Keep at least several #s per week flowing through. You don't (initially) want to get too hung up on any one girl. keep the cycle flowing, don't get lazy or think because you are seeing 3 girls now it's OK to stop. Funny thing is just like all 3 were found quickly, they will likely also disappear in groups too. It happens for a long time like that. There are lots of reasons and time will fix it.

Forget about trying hard to act cool in the hardass, TV guy manner. It's better to just be friendly and socialable. Do bother to present yourself reasonably cool (dress, hair, etc). The body language cues like moving slower and not seeming so nervous, obviously, are good to fix but there is a balance between self-regulation and making yourself even more nervous worrying over it.

In the beginning, talk too much. Where ever you think the line is, go overboard just a little bit. It's better to stay talkative esp. when you first enter a new group. There are instances when it;s obvious a guy is just doing this on purpose, but for the most part the guys who talks more is a plus. People have a primacy effect, if you are talkative the first few times you meet someone, that will really help set in a good impression.

Learning cultural stuff. Take a few vacations, learn salsa dancing, know a couple of languages/cultures reasonably well, learn architecture a little, know fashion to some degree, I mean just things you might be interested in at any rate. It doesn't need to be something specific.

Don't sit at home. Join an ecological group if you're into the forest animals, join a draw or some kind of art club if that's your thing. A lot of women you meet will be deada$$es, they don't really do anything except meet their friends or watch TV. BTW< if you watch cable, I'd suggest canceling it and using that $$ to go out and live life instead. I disconnected my cable years ago and am very glad of that now. The $ I saved pays for a bus pass that I use to go explore my world instead of sit at home. Riding public transit is another way to meet people, and since you already have a pass you'll be more likely to go out more. The bad thing is in places with no OWL service, you may be walking home at times or changing plans. A car is of course great to have if you can afford one, but the public transport pass is still useful even so.

There's just a starter list. If you really do these things, then it won't matter if you should've said X instead of Y. It won't make any difference is this or that way would've been better. You will already have enough women in your life that it is only academic to argue things at that point.
 
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rocky_mtn

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Women are different and what works for one doesn't nececssarily work for another. Theres no proven formula that will work for everyone. Same thing goes for what methods to use.

Get the general idea, adapt it to what you feel comfortable with, then go with that.

I read the bootcamp from cover to cover in one sitting and have followed that with good luck. But my goal isn't to bag every hot babe out there, I'd rather find a great woman and keep her. The self improvement idea is never a waste of time. For me its shallow and unfulfilling to fake something you are not to get women. Making something of yourself and meeting a quality woman is more my taste, but I'm older than most here. Being young and learning the game has its merits too.
 

Distant Light

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I don't want to force you to learn or read anything, but I found the DJ bible to be a waste of time. (There is just a little bit of info that is actually good)

You're idea about SS and PUA is wrong. The basis of everything balls down to what you want out of it. I find the DJ bible could help you to break out of your anti social mindset, because you don't find guys consistently getting women off of just reading the DJ bible by itself.

SS i really don't know about except that it consist of doing patterns.

PUA is basically just learning how to be good with getting women. That way you get to pick and choose the girls you want. Like say you're in a train station and a girl you like is all the way in the next cart which is very crowded, would you be able to walk through everyone and approach her?

What I found while learning though is that you really just need to know the stuff behind the things going on and just work off of that.
 

asif

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One of the reasons I'm here is I did try the first few weeks of boot camp, then, probably before I was ready, started cold approaches. I tried mostly in the Malls, not too good. Couple digits, they were fake. Had better luck in, believe it or not, the grocery store. I've tried too many different styles, don't have one of my own yet. I keep missing chances with girls. It's like I'm just about 2 seconds too slow. I think of something to say 5 minutes AFTER I meet them. I'm not stupid, just not quick enough at the right time. Thanks for the info.
 

everywomanshero

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It doesn;t matter that the numbers flaked, that's ok. If you spend only a few minutes with a girl and you're just starting out, the numbers are not expected to work. That shouldn't matter right now.

You need to keep going. Try different ideas. See what happens.
 
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