confident or ****y? dissect this phone call

[bigfoamfinger]

I called her...
me:hey....<small talk>.....what are you doing tonight?

her: well I wanted to go see my boyfriend. it depends on if I go see him or not

me: ok, well if you do't go see loverboy tonight, give me a call and we'll go see that movie . (don't worry, it was said in a playful way )

said bye, hung up

the whole thing lasted maybe 3 minutes.

The reason I ask your opinions is cause I'm just starting all this. anything in here that just reeks of AFC? anything to ****y? I've seen her a couple times a looong time ago, so I gave her my number.
I'm assuming that you guys don't give out your number for her to call, right?

I'm not really worried about this cause she has a boyfriend, but it's all a learning experience. let me know...

 

[Chewy Bagel]

It appears that she's trying to tell you something by saying "well I wanted to go see my boyfriend." She's saying she WANTED to see her boyfriend. IMO, she's sending you the message that she likes her man and that you aren't getting any while she's with him. She's definitely not giving you buying signals.

However, ALWAYS WATCH HER ACTIONS, NOT HER WORDS.

You could keep her around for social proof if nothing pans out.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by bigfoamfinger
I called her...
me:hey....<small talk>.....what are you doing tonight?

her: well I wanted to go see my boyfriend. it depends on if I go see him or not

me: ok, well if you do't go see loverboy tonight, give me a call and we'll go see that movie . (don't worry, it was said in a playful way )

said bye, hung up

1) Unless you are in a relationship with a woman (IE. extremely high IL), don't call them to go out that night and expect for them to be available. Women do like to be asked ahead of time so that they can prepare appropriately.

2) Boyfriend aside, she told you outright that she was more interested in going out with her boyfriend and going out with you would only happen if HE had something better to do than to go out with her.

3) You let her know that you have nothing to do and will wait around in case her boyfriend blows her off. This is a MAJOR AFCs move. Never EVER play the "Wait and see" game.

4) If she had any interest in you, she would have countered your suggestion with a better time for her to get with you. That is just the way it works. If a woman is interested she will find a way to see you somehow.

5) Oh, and saying it in a "playful way" is just another AFC move, you are just brushing the fact that you were just brushed off.

Keep reading the posts and study The DJ Bible .

 

[MickeyOneil]

I'm sure you knew she had a bf before this incident. She knows you knew she had a bf before this incident. She brushed you off. Lesson to be learned right there.

But let's take the bf out of the equation:

"Oh, I was wanting to hang out with my friend tonight."

"Oh, I made plans with my family."

"Oh, I was supposed to meet Jan at the movies."

If she had ANY interest at all, she'd follow those statements with.....BUT we can go out later. In this case, she says "I blah blah blah" and you respond with "charm charm charm whenever you want to call me, call me and we'll go out." Implying that you'll be around whenever she's done with Mr. Charming. You're too busy and good for that!

 

[echo1212]

Here is a classic yet all too familiar thread lately on this site-and what I started a thread on earlier. The gilr has no IL at all that I can decifer yet the thread starter wants to know what he can do to increase IL when there isn't any to increase-and it doesn't matter what he does at this point..the girl is giving you no buying signals. Let alone she has a boyfriend. Move along young skywalker.