Confidence.
It’s the problem that plagues every guy one way or another in different guises. Whether its "should I ask her out?" Or “should I take her to the next base?” It all comes down to confidence issues. Now there are a lot of people on here asking about all these sorts of questions, and it’s for them I write this. The only true way to gain confidence is through actually risking your pride and doing it. Sure you can read all the articles on this site and build up a mental “yes, I’m going to do this” but the only way to have true confidence is to risk it all, succeed and then you will be rewarded.
Let me give you an example of what the hell I’m talking about here.
Say, 2 years ago I really cared about what other people thought of me. I was worried if that for one day I didn’t look right, people would disbanden me and never speak to me again. Okay, I admit this was a bit over the top, but I had real confidence issues. So what did I do?
I stopped caring. One day I looked at my clothes, my appearance and was utterly disgusted by myself. I wasn’t dressing nor looking how I wanted to, I was appearing like other people wanted me too. So I though stuff it and I went out, bought some new clothes, got a different hair cut and tidied myself up overall.
Now people at school noticed the radically different me, they noticed how I didn’t care what they thought any more, and you know what? I gained respect out of it.
In the two years I have gone from a no-respect self-conscious loser, into a respectable popular guy. And why was this? Because I did what I wanted to, and people look up to that. They see me doing my own thing and they respect that and think it’s cool. Whether this is at a conscious or sub-conscious level I have no idea, but it works.
Another example is my current girlfriend. We liked each other a lot for several months, but for unfortunate reasons couldn’t go out. So we’ve now been going out for a month and all the time I was terribly worried she was going to break up with me. However instead of sitting around shaking in my boots, I ignored it and got on with it. I ignored my confidence issues and I kissed her, made out with her. Now I know this is no huge thing, however it has done wonders for my confidence. I know believe she will not walk out on me tomorrow, I feel secure within myself about her. All because I took one little risk.
And so, in conclusion, I’d like to say that you can read all the confidence inspiring posts that you want and they are great, for a time. But to gain utter and complete confidence you must lay your heart and self-pride on the line… grab you damn balls and do it. And it is only through this process that one will gain true confidence.
-Rara Avis
It’s the problem that plagues every guy one way or another in different guises. Whether its "should I ask her out?" Or “should I take her to the next base?” It all comes down to confidence issues. Now there are a lot of people on here asking about all these sorts of questions, and it’s for them I write this. The only true way to gain confidence is through actually risking your pride and doing it. Sure you can read all the articles on this site and build up a mental “yes, I’m going to do this” but the only way to have true confidence is to risk it all, succeed and then you will be rewarded.
Let me give you an example of what the hell I’m talking about here.
Say, 2 years ago I really cared about what other people thought of me. I was worried if that for one day I didn’t look right, people would disbanden me and never speak to me again. Okay, I admit this was a bit over the top, but I had real confidence issues. So what did I do?
I stopped caring. One day I looked at my clothes, my appearance and was utterly disgusted by myself. I wasn’t dressing nor looking how I wanted to, I was appearing like other people wanted me too. So I though stuff it and I went out, bought some new clothes, got a different hair cut and tidied myself up overall.
Now people at school noticed the radically different me, they noticed how I didn’t care what they thought any more, and you know what? I gained respect out of it.
In the two years I have gone from a no-respect self-conscious loser, into a respectable popular guy. And why was this? Because I did what I wanted to, and people look up to that. They see me doing my own thing and they respect that and think it’s cool. Whether this is at a conscious or sub-conscious level I have no idea, but it works.
Another example is my current girlfriend. We liked each other a lot for several months, but for unfortunate reasons couldn’t go out. So we’ve now been going out for a month and all the time I was terribly worried she was going to break up with me. However instead of sitting around shaking in my boots, I ignored it and got on with it. I ignored my confidence issues and I kissed her, made out with her. Now I know this is no huge thing, however it has done wonders for my confidence. I know believe she will not walk out on me tomorrow, I feel secure within myself about her. All because I took one little risk.
And so, in conclusion, I’d like to say that you can read all the confidence inspiring posts that you want and they are great, for a time. But to gain utter and complete confidence you must lay your heart and self-pride on the line… grab you damn balls and do it. And it is only through this process that one will gain true confidence.
-Rara Avis
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