Confidence Only Gets You To The Plate.

[A-Unit]

Confidence will only get you to the plate, it won't help you 'hit' the ball. It's NOT attraction. It's only the belief in oneself that you no better and no worse than anybody else out there, and that you should approach a female.


Confidence is infectious, but it's not always attractive, and doesn't create attraction. A fat woman (or man) could be ****y and confident, and I've met loads of them, but you wouldn't sleep with them. You might clothes your eyes and LET THEM do things to you, but sure as shyt wouldn't get all hot and sweaty with them. So with that in mind, end the thought that SUPER confidence will bring you anything. It won't. It only acts as the CATALYST to get you to do something.


And generally, speaking, people try to building confidence from the outside, or they pervert the definition of it. Confidence, balls, doesn't matter, I've seen super arrogant, super confident azzholes sitting in a group people, who THINKS he has social proof because he did something NOTEworthy, and turn a girl off quicker than the sound of her own queef.


In fact, during college, I was partying late. One of the guys in who visited occasionally was an EAS Body for Life contestant. Nothing special. He went from 150 wet to 165 wet. He was cut, but he his over domineering air created a general feeling of "get the phuck out of here," and had a few run-ins on campus with the wrong crew. Morever, my subtle, sport-fanatical lacrosse playing friends were the one's who ended up tagging the hotties they'd invited over, not the arrogant, confident azz who portrayed his toughness with his portraits of his 'new body.' The girls didn't care, because they couldn't feel shyt from what this guy was saying. Sure, he fit the mold of what HE thought was attractive to women, but as Durden put it in Fight Club...

"Is that what men are supposed to be?" [Pointing to a Calvin Klein ad].


We can all 'sense' what confidence is...it's belief...it's also realization...the more you get OUT there in the world, the more you realize it was only bad beliefs that held you back, YOUR OWN BAD BELIEFS. The more women you approach, the more you realize they're OK with it, or that they've got issues, or low self esteem, or aren't seeking someone perfect, or whatever. The fact is, 100% bullet proof confidence isn't a reality anymore than the Easter Bunny is [I'd have used Santa but some still believe.].


And you really don't need confidence when you understand that all life is merely a perception you view through from your world. That me, SOSUAVE, the whole lot of us, are just orbits circling your wide universe, and your CHOICE is precisely what dictates whether our energies collide. If you CHOOSE poorly, a bad, negative chick will come into your life, despire her thongs sticking out, and you'll wreck your life in the process.


__________________________


Why doesn't confidence matter?

As said before, men-women are merely a balance to an equation of masculine-feminine energies. Even Pook stated this. Countless books state this, see: [Way of the Superior Man]. Women WANT a man, they want masculine energy like we want a woman and her feminine energy, but if she's being a difficult bytch, odds are, YOU'RE NOT her COUNTERBALANCING energy, or at least you're not doing a job displaying that.


Hence why, men who act needy trigger the reaction in women to FLEE. The fleeing aspect is a MASCULINE thing. The neediness or need to be desired, is a FEMININE thing. Display feminine traits, get masculine traits in return. It's a simple equation. Men don't need to be needed. We're good with math, we kill things, fix the car, scare off intruders, hunt, and eat meat. What do we NEED? Shyt, we don't even have a TRUE biological clock [though research is forthcoming that could prove this to be false --stay tuned]. Women have the biological clock. THEY have to be needed. They have to FIND their place with a man who makes sense. And even if it's a one night thing, a woman isn't going to get hot that quick with a feminine dude. She'd get wettest quickest with her male counterpart, even if he can't PROVIDE for her offspring, because the attraction mechanism was sparked.


So hop of the bandwagon that dictates confidence gets a woman, it doesn't. It gets to the plate. It gets you to the club to do the approaching, but it won't carry you through a conversation. Its get you to the mall, but it won't make her like you. Even if you're CEO of a Fortune 500 and approaching a true dime, unless she can be *****d for money, would she actually choose this guy? He's gotta have something else to him. And using Jvesti's stuff, T theory suggest that certain positions in society REQUIRE a certain injection of Testosterone, thereby indicating those guys naturally attract more women. This includes....

*Criminals
*Football players
*Construction workers
*Some sales types


I mention this because the "grab your balls" is a nice chant to realize your male....but the reason it takes 100 women to nail a few is because there's only a few who will respond to your masculine essence. The rest won't, because you aren't fitting her 'key hole' [nice pun]. You could have bullet proof confidence, and I have friends like that, and even if they were model good, and I was dating a model myself, they stilll dated me and didn't jump ship. Any guy here who does his share of dating can attest to that.






A-Unit

 

[sharpshooter]

Wouldn't a confident man who's masculine be the most desirable then?

Wasn't that EAS guy loaded with testosterone? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be full of Estrogen. Who cares if he was arrogant. Also those lacrosse players had to have confidence in order to get those hotties. Are you trying to say they didn't have any? Confidence is the glue that puts everything together, it should never be overlooked. Also sometimes you just have to be domineering. It's every man for himself out there.

I love most of your posts, but this post sorta seems contradictory in a way..

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Hormones don't equal confidence. On most occasions, excessive hormones can be likened to arrogance. An over juiced joke might neglect common sense and do something stupid, like a PCP freak would and not realize the error in his ways.


If you're not sitting at a club, "wondering" whether to approach or not, it's confidence, belief in oneself that GETS you to approach the girls.


But how about after that? Is her attraction toward you based on your CONFIDENCE in yourself? What if you're supremely confident in your own abilities to design websites, ride motorcycles, and study martial arts, but you're just not her style? Is any amount of confidence really going to matter?


I'd venture a guess that it doesn't. And by the fact that the post fell to the second page with few replies, either people totally agree, or totally disagree. See, the fallacy is, and this is what's touted all over SoSuave is that supreme confidence and supreme personal success leads to women and attraction. It doesn't. It's your own selfish gains, that's it.


Attraction as put before is the reaction to specific events, characteristics, symbols, images, and models. Were you to sit her today, reading this post, you have an IMAGE of your ideal girl. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, and most guys who get ONE-itis feel as if the girl they're longing for embodies all these traits. It's must the same way when a female goes ga-ga for a man, she goes nympho crazy, and is hung up on him NO matter what he does to her. It's part of his detached attitude and part of the fact he fulfills her 'ideal' unconscious image of masculinity to her femininity.


There's a glut of dating advice out, and most of it overlaps in all ways, and alot of it has also been copied. It's quite readable and easy to get. And despite all this, people can't GET attraction or relationships, they try to break emotional/biological connections into logical and strategic mating patterns. You can't buck MOTHER NATURE.

____________________


Confidence is merely realizing that only you stand in the way of yourself getting what you want. And that, to be confident doesn't require building anything up, it requires bringing walls down.


We all have loads of friends that got laid quick, but the girl/guy didn't work out in the long-run. This was 'attraction' at is best. Heck the friends who I have who got laid, aren't confident at all; they epitomize 'getting lucky', so confidence is totally out the window here.

__________________________

It's every man for himself out there.

That's your belief, not mine. Fact of the matter is, when you feel you're alone, you're in competition. When you're in competition, you're immediately subject to the social hierarchy, meaning money, looks, power, happen to outrank every other deep quality. That's if you believe that.


I believe all things being equal, if we were at a bar, a girl would find 1 of us naturally more attractive and appealing to her and there's nothing either of us could do about it. Sure, you could lay some lines, and some C&F, and we could practice SS on her...but the bottom line is, if our personalities were somewhat refined and expressie, the girl would gravitate NATURALLY toward someone.


Believe or don't believe, but your beliefs direct your life. The alpha mindset in a sense contradicts what attraction is meant to be. At a deep, metaphysical level, women sense emotion, connection, and spirit, they appreciate that. Why do you think they like 'fate', 'chance', 'serendipity', prince charming, astrology, horoscopes, etc?


Just because what I'm saying contradicts the norm doesn't make it wrong. In fact, when consider that 95% of the US is 1 gigantic common mob, going with the trend of current logic only means on will yield the same results as everything else.

__________________________


And I never said it wasn't important, I was saying it won't do much for ATTRACTING her to you. Just because you're the confident guy of the group, perhaps the one APPEARING to be alpha, doesn't mean she'd flock to you. It just means you can chat with her without being phased by her beauty like most guys would. You forget she's just a personality/spirit trapped in a body. So her's happens to look good? Big deal. I have friends who are poor, driving nice cars who treat them bad and can't drive them worth a damn, but they still got them? That don't make them a car connoiseur, nor does it make them rich. It's just their external appearance, which they hope will make up for their lack of INTERNAL qualities.

_____________________________

Confidence is the glue that puts everything together,

Confidence isn't. Action is. If you were starting a business, or a new workout plan, waiting until you worked through your issues would be immediate failure. Confidence will come and go, it will waiver, fluctuate, rise and fall based on mood and outlook. The main point is to JUST GET GOING. Most people never make their riches or get the bodies they want because they wait for all lights to be green. They wait to get their life in order, while their life is going by. They feel they must acquire more knowledge, even though the world churns out new and more knowledge each day. They feel they must fact when they FEEL THEIR best. All wrong.


Those who get ahead are ACTING when they feel their WORST. If you waited until you were in a perfect state to make a move, would you ever? Hot girls, riches, whatever, would float right by you. For many people, it in fact takes hitting a very negative point in their life to take positive action. So negativity isn't bad, it's in fact a motivator.

_____________________________


These lacrosse players didn't do anything more than my fat fraternity friends did. They were merely lucky about the image they portrayed and having been in the right place at the right time, got some action. They were upperclassmen, in reasonable shape, with an apartment and booze, on a college campus, they're a god. I was there once, too, as we all are. Under class women have few blockades when it comes to sex at that point, because the social hierarchy is set up to give atheletes and perceived top ranked guys/girls the most weight. In the real world, things, as a perception shift. It's money & looks & power. In college, power was social status based on connections like it is in life. They're my friends, but many of them could barely read. Some, couldn't dance. And yet others had 30% bodyfat and still got laid. It didn't matter.

__________________________

You can be loaded with testosterone and STILL not be confident or attractive. I have construction worker friends, who would score high in terms of natural testosterone according to many tests taken, and would still, and still do not get laid. Nor do they have a silver tongue that works with the ladies. Logic doesn't pervade the whole dating scheme, but for some reason its infultrated these whole boards to sell lots of dating books and hypnosis cd's.

___________________________


While I'm not a big fan of the dating material, David D did a good job spelling out HOW and WHY attraction occurred and now many people are trying to use these principles to get laid more in the 21st century. As mentioned before, attraction was merely getting someone's mind fixed long enough on procreating so that a species could have sex and make babies.


Part of what he says is right, it's a reaction to specific things. More importantly, is it possible that a girl reacts to what you say BECAUSE SHE ALREADY FOUND YOU ATTRACTIVE? MAYBE...she'd respond to you saying anything...? LIke.....


"Nice shoes wanna fyck?" to
"What's your name?"


Part of the struggle mentality I've seen permeate people is they 'try' and believe they can sway attraction. I've met hot ghetto strippers who I wouldn't find attractive...and many guys have done the same. Why try to buck natural attraction when it's so much better anyway?

__________________________

Also sometimes you just have to be domineering.

You dominate a woman, not a man. Women want to submit to a guy, but getting in a pissing fight is just ego bullshyt and displays how weak you are, not your strength. Obvious acts of demonstration are more a result of INSECURITY than anything. When you feel based on conscious thought you must do something, are you REALLY IT or are you just acting?

To me, all guys are friends, and if some guy went to steal a girl, I ain't gonna club him, because she's a trick in the first place for being so frail. Let her move on, I'll go find another one. If some guy crossed the line, fine, he'll get his card pulled, but there's more to life than petty ego shyt, which is what most people dwell on each day anyways.




A-Unit

 

[theSpeculator]

A-UNIT: Your PM folder says it is currently full. So I will just post the message that I was gonna sent you.

...................................................................
Hello

I really like your posts. I like the unique perspective on seduction that you bring to sosuave.com. It is these new ideas that will drive sosuave.com forward. What you write is exactly what I'm looking for to put in Project T. I would like to invite you to participate in it. Please take the time to consider my proposal and get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you for you time.


P.S.
Project T is a new dj bible that will extend on the current Bible to better help new AFC transits into True Don Juan. A more detailed description will be reveal very soon.
...............................................................

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Attraction, according to David D is the unchosen reaction to a specific set of traits just long enough so that 2 species mate.

I've heard it said that "a person notices traits or is found hott when that person wants to mate." Traditional thought suppoeses that "a person wants to mate once they find someone who encompasses those traits." It's a Cart-Before-The-Horse debate.


For instance...does a girl respond well to C&F because she was already drawn to you on a subconscious level, OR did the C&F help? One might think it's attitude that creates the attraction. One might think physical looks. What if deep down, she already was, and because she responded so well to C&F, you kept doing it more? The snowball gets rolling, and now you feel confident to keep employing it. On the girls it doesn't work, you call her a "feminazi," as if "who's to think she can't react to my C&F or SS spell?!" Doesn't she know I'm a DJ???


___________________________


In Way of the Superior Man, Deida talks about metaphysics and essense as it relates to our sexes, and how POLARITY creates the tension between men and women. A truly feminine, wild beauty, someone the likes of Pam Anderson, who's beauty is so vibrant, wouldn't be with a guy who's got 50/50 femininity. When you see Tommy Lee, few people ever question he's all male. And when they get together, what do you have? A porno tape spread to the public.


Yet, with many other guys, her feminine unbridled essence might not be released, and sure, you could fake it, or use game on her, or slack on some "act as if" shyt, but what she wants is to feel totally and utterly dominated. She doesn't care about roses, or food, or dinner, she just wants FEEL from the masculine side. This is why you can only RELEASE from inside what you are. YOU are already MALE, the natural attractor is FEMALE.


If you look out amongst society, you'll see gradations of attraction. Guys who are say partly feminine, would find a super jock bytch attractive, this is how some 'nice' guys get their girls, because the super nice guy will lock on with a somewhat masculine chick. And when you consider some of the ruffians and more obese women, they fit that profile more.


A lesbian is the most masculine female you can think of, so it would be possible for her to be with a gay male. Ever see the L word? They have a new term, Male Lesbian. He's like the counterpart to a Female Lesbian. Even in the gay community, SOMEONE plays dominant and someone plays SUBMISSIVE.

____________________________


I would suggest reading Jvesti's T Theory, and Pooks post relating to the same stuff. They've probably dropped a bit because most people want to believe tips work with women who aren't gaming with you, but most times thats a temporary fix to a permanent problem. Tips work AWESOME with a girl you like and who likes you. Tips don't work with people who don't work with you.


Confidence doesn't matter around people who have not a care for you, and some won't. Confidence is all the world around people who care for you, and who you care for.



A-Unit

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

There wont ever be a definite answer to this ..

Sure they want a 'man' & possessing DJ qualities helps but beyond that its shrouded in mystery, its because theyre individuals.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Thank you, someone who gets it. Now i don't have to keep posting on my own post.




A-Unit

 

[dj_spain]

theSpeculator are you really trying to do an extension of the bible?
I always thought the bible should be reduced and should be made simplier, because there is too much information in it that sometimes is contradicting

 

[skeeloo]

you. Even if you're CEO of a Fortune 500 and approaching a true dime, unless she can be *****d for money, would she actually choose this guy? He's gotta have something else to him. And using Jvesti's stuff, T theory suggest that certain positions in society REQUIRE a certain injection of Testosterone, thereby indicating those guys naturally attract more women. This includes....

*Criminals
*Football players
*Construction workers
*Some sales types


this makes alotta sense, i was in a situation where i was approched by this feamle asking for a lighter after a brief convo she asked what do i do? are you a builder? meaning she was expecting that from me. i still will not understand what happened there. looks like she was dissapointed when i said i wasnt.

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

Confidence is attractive. Sorry, I been in the game tooooooooooo long not to realize it. Yes, it won't get you every girl in the world, and yes, confidence is what gets you off your ass to approach. But when a man carries himself with confidence, he's half way there.

Confidence is EVERYTHING. Confidence allows an athlete to play at the top of his game.....to dominate. It allowed a salesperson to close sales on tough people. It allows someone to conversate effectively without fear of saying the wrong thing.

Confidence allows a man to approach a woman with an indifferent, I-am-the-prize attitude. And it works. Alot.

I can tell you this: It doesn't take a whole lot to get an interested girl.

If you're decent groomed, have ok convo skills, and CONFIDENCE, you should be able to shoot at a 2/10 average rate. In my opinion, most girls are looking for someone to give them the time of day. Sure they have their shields up at bars, but if thats the only place you are looking for girls at, you have a problem right there.

Don't take my word for it though. Take a look.

 

[Ojete]

Very nice post A-Unit, you should also check xblitz44x posts (as it was recommended to me).


Turbo, you first say this:

Confidence is attractive.

And then:

Confidence allows a man to approach a woman with an indifferent, I-am-the-prize attitude.

So, even in your own post you have put the difference between what is attractive and confidence.

As A-unit and you Turbo have said, confidence gets you there to talk, it is action. But the attractive element is you, your maleness, what she concieves of 'man' in you (inherently biological, cannot be faked), not "the way you approached" her.

 

[Ojete]

So how do you project your maniless?
A cold approach only alots you couple of minutes at most... i mean... if you stopped her off the street for example.. you cna't keep her there to "show" her you maniless.....

When you are walking on the street, and see a girl accross the street, do you have to wait to percieve her feminity?? i mean do you you have to wait 10 mins talking with her go think "oh she's hot i would f**k her" ?? no, you percieve it instantly!

How do you project it?? well approaching gets you there, but it is your essence, not a projection, it is your "male essence" she percieves.

 

[Ojete]

I've read your other post about projecting your sexual appeal... and I must say... its good article.. and by that, do you mean just leave it all up to nature to take its course? like, if she does not find you masculine enough

Thank you soda,

well as the article says, working in yourself, the qualities that make you more sexual (more of a "natural man") will help to radiate that male essence better.

And yeah, obviously some women are not gonna find you masculine enough and some other women will be intimidated by your masculinity.

then that means it jsut a number's game... approach enough of them, and sooner or later, you'll get one...

Well, that's why people is constantly approaching and encouraging you to do it. You get better after each approach, you improve your confidence (action) to follow with the natural process (male vs female essence) through the conversational dynamics (all the techniques you find here).

 

[sstype]

Good post A-Unit.

I say fyck all this "you need confidence" shyt and just work on attaining your masculinity. Masculinity will naturally bring confidence. No need for saying "I-am-the-prize" 50 times over.
The mentality you attain will already make you a prize.

The other way around (confidence first) will be a constant uphill battle in which you can easily fall back to where you started

Women dont want seductionists, poets, philosphers, actors, or comedians.
They want warriors, real men, go-getters.

 

[bud_2005]

Originally posted by sstype
Good post A-Unit.


Women dont want seductionists, poets, philosphers, actors, or comedians.
They want warriors, real men, go-getters.

So are you saying that being funny won't get you anywhere with women?

 

[sstype]

Originally posted by bud_2005
So are you saying that being funny won't get you anywhere with women?

Being funny should not be the basis of attracting women.

I think Gunwitch does a great job explaining this from his essay:

"A commonly observed scenario: a woman laughs at guy’s jokes, and then ends up having sex with him later on. Predictably, every guy there says, "She must like a guy with a sense of humour", and proceed to go out and ENTERTAIN, rather than seduce women, in hopes that she will like them SOOO much she will jump his bones right there. Not gonna happen unless she is VERY attracted. We wanna work with what looks we have and move them in the right directions for sex better than other guys, not create a non sexual rapport with jokes and funny stories.

When a woman is asked "what do you like in a guy?", she doesn’t usually say "LOOKS and GOOD SEX" or else be branded a slut. SO, she grumbles "a guy with a sense of humour". She LIKES those funny men, she doesn't HAVE SEX WITH those funny men unless they happen to be attractive as well as funny. By the way, when a woman says "confidence" that's as close to saying " a guy who knows I wanna have sex and creates the opportunity for it aggressively" as women usually get. Don't listen to what women (or men) say, but rather observe what they do, and your eyes will not deceive or confuse you like your mind’s interpretations of the words will. A sense of humour isn't a bad thing, but its not sexually motivating or progressive. Stand up comedians are often natural entertainers because they have learned that their poor looks can be accepted that way. Check stand or bar stool comedians are the same entity with less talent. At the end of the night they go home and **** the sleeve of their favourite jacket rather than a woman. Some people say "nice guys finish last", because they see the funny entertainer go home alone. While the horny aggressive "jerk" gets the woman sexually turned on and moves her into isolation with him, rather than entertaining her endlessly in public."