Confidence comes only from achievements

[JohnyTheArrow]

Thats why 'just be confident' is ultimate bull****.You can not be truly confident* without achievements Even if think you can any person will bull**** detector will sniff out your insecurities.Be confident is as good advice as 'be millionere'.
Lets imagine any kind of performance - if you didnt made it at least 1000 times - you cant be confident about the end result.Confidence flows from your success rate.So be easy for yourself and instead of 'be confident' think 'be just a bit better than yesterday'
Women love men with confidence because it shows you have actual 'expertise'.It flows naturally from all these little successes you achieved in your life.Thats why many people who seems 'confident' bust under pressure - their 'confidence' is fake and they know it.Any kind if 'win' is important, even trivial things like giving up smoking or not being whiny ***** are achievements which are bricks in the path to 'confidence'.If you win win win ... even if its small win ... it makes you trust yourself more, if you trust yourself, you are confident.

 

[Von]

Result = confidence

It's important to feel confident

Confidence will come from action/experience = results

Also, if you have fun in it.... you'll be what people call - Alpha

However, confidence is just not 1 frame, its many.... you can be confident in dancing.... but not confident in social interaction etc... So when it comes to that, make a bridge with what you are confident to bring it in the frame of a discussion/topic

It will make you look fun, passionnate, build conversation..... but remember to focus on the other person (your passion should just be a topic to raise your confidance in going to their passions/interesst/rapport building)

 

[Who Dares Win]

To tell someone insecure to be "more confident" is just like going to a skinny guy and telling him to be "more swolen".

"hey that girl likes buff guys, try to be more muscular tonight and she'll be yours"

Confidence and big muscle are the result of a certain path, which has been walked with profits.

 

[Huffman]

Not exclusively, I think.

I've got a great number of achievements lined up for myself, but on a bad day I can be full blown insecure.
No matter how much you've achieved, if you feel like "yeah I am this and did that, but I've grown used to it / it doesn't apply to my situation", then even if you're Bill Gates you'll feel like a chump.

It does help alot, but that "natural" confidence is very elusive...

 

[evan12]

The core confidence comes from internal self image , have you ever see some university professors with high confidence even though they know nothing or their info is out dated ? that is because they think very big inside of themselves and the outside is not affecting them

 

[PeasantPlayer]

to tell someone insecure to be "more confident" is just like going to a skinny guy and telling him to be "more swolen".

"hey that girl likes buff guys, try to be more muscular tonight and she'll be yours"

Confidence and big muscle are the result of a certain path, which has been walked with profits.

Disagree.....confidence is not measurable physically like being skinny and pretending to be swoll. Pretending to be swoll when you are skinny will not make you grow huge and swoll like the Incredible hulk. The important variable is action. Building muscle takes resistance, like other things in life. Like life experiences can build mental strength. You should be confidence just for the fact out of 400 million sperm you were the strongest one to reach the egg and be a living breathing human being on Earth

 

[El Payaso]

For the most part, confidence stems from results and accomplishments but it is also possible to develop confidence without results if you emotionally detach yourself.

 

[cola]

What achievements are worthy of confidence?

Oh, you got a bachelor's degree? Congratulations, you learned how to be a sheep, with a 9-5 for 50 years, Have 2.5 kids and probably die in debt.

You are in good shape? Congratulations, you know how to do basic math, count calories, lift things up and put them down.

Oh you worked hard and bought a 2016 Corvette?' Jim in accounting has a Audi R8 ..

Achievements don't mean ****. Because no matter what you do someone you'll come across has achieved more.
Should you not feel confident around them?
**That's actually the confidence most guys have. As long as they are the most successful in the room they feel great, as soon as someone they perceive as better comes in they are like a puppy with his tail between his legs.. Thats FAKE confidence.

Confidence means: No matter what happens next, I can handle it.
Achievements mean nothing.

 

[thatfeel]

Confidence in a man is really when someone can stand up for his core values and beliefs, knows his strengths and weaknesses and isn't afraid to admit them, doesn't back pedal, and holds others accountable to do the same even if they disagree. It's more about the integrity of your character than it is about what you've done.

Achievements have more to do with self esteem and ego.

I would also add to what cola said, "and what achievements are worthy of praise?". Achievement is somewhat relative.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Confidence means: No matter what happens next, I can handle it.
Achievements mean nothing.

I believe those two statements to be contradictory. To say "No matter what happens next, I can handle" requires actually have DONE THAT (handling unknown and difficult situations) with consistent success, AS DEFINED BY YOU.

I believe THAT is the "achievement" the OP was referring to. SELF DEFINED due to ones own choices and subjective values.

Most of the things you referred to are things people generally pursue because OTHER PEOPLE hold them in high value.

Long ago I decided to run everyday for one hundred days. No matter what. Maybe not a big "accomplishment" to most people. But for me it was a big deal.

That achievement (chosen by me, important to me) was one that helped me "feel confident" whenever I decided to set a goal. Since I'd done it successfully before.

Generally speaking, "confidence" is related to some type of activity or skill. Handling unknown situations effectively is a skill. The more PROVEN (to yourself) skills you have, the more areas you'll have confidence.

You can be confident flirting and approaching, but you can be un-confident when closing, for example.

Confidence is one of those vague words few people can agree on, except that they'd like more. But the only way to get more is to be able to do more.

 

[cola]

Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.

Ive got no experience or consistent success in having sex with Beyonce, but I'm certain that if that opportunity comes I'm going to do a really good job

@taiyuu_otoko

 

[Trump]

Thats why 'just be confident' is ultimate bull****.You can not be truly confident* without achievements Even if think you can any person will bull**** detector will sniff out your insecurities.Be confident is as good advice as 'be millionere'.
Lets imagine any kind of performance - if you didnt made it at least 1000 times - you cant be confident about the end result.Confidence flows from your success rate.So be easy for yourself and instead of 'be confident' think 'be just a bit better than yesterday'
Women love men with confidence because it shows you have actual 'expertise'.It flows naturally from all these little successes you achieved in your life.Thats why many people who seems 'confident' bust under pressure - their 'confidence' is fake and they know it.Any kind if 'win' is important, even trivial things like giving up smoking or not being whiny ***** are achievements which are bricks in the path to 'confidence'.If you win win win ... even if its small win ... it makes you trust yourself more, if you trust yourself, you are confident.

I think you are slightly confusing the issues bro. Confidence and 'expertise' and not interchangeable, and 'busting under pressure' isn't about confidence, it's about logic. You could have all the confidence in the world, but if you don't make sense and prove your point, the opposition will destroy you.

Achievements and confidence are not related either. There are PhDs guys out there who are the dumbest guys and can get their head spun in 4 minutes. Then there other guys who work hard and have experience, who cannot be taken for a ride under any circumstances. It's all relative.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

For the most part, confidence stems from results and accomplishments but it is also possible to develop confidence without results if you emotionally detach yourself.

True.They are called con men.Some individuals can be sociopathically confident without any 'results' or 'achievements'.The PUA try to mimick it by 'game' but for most its hard to mimmick if you are not natural.
Charles Manson had no right to be confident, son of a ***** and a tiny man, yet, his illogical confidence made him into guru and legend.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

True.They are called con men.Some individuals can be sociopathically confident without any 'results' or 'achievements'.The PUA try to mimick it by 'game' but for most its hard to mimmick if you are not natural.
Charles Manson had no right to be confident, son of a ***** and a tiny man, yet, his illogical confidence made him into guru and legend.

I call that illogical "confidence" with a lack of experience "stupid confidence" or "crazy confidence". Sometimes their confidence is pegged to the rim, for no good reason at all. I guess it's better to have it than not.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

I call that illogical "confidence" with a lack of experience "stupid confidence" or "crazy confidence". Sometimes their confidence is pegged to the rim, for no good reason at all. I guess it's better to have it than not.

of course, most women are too stupid to figure it out if you are smooth, they are countless stories about guys who claimed to work as "secret agents" and got laid,it sounds unbelievable what women will belief if you are confident about it enough.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'll make it even simpler than you did...

Ever notice how your confidence inflates when you have more money in your bank account?

More money = More confidence

True confidence is not subject to external conditions. It does not come and go with the tides outside. It remains present, regardless.

Edit: At the same time, the gaining of true confidence is an ebb and flow, a wobbly journey at best.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Confidence is directly attributable to your intangible higher-perceived value, not your tangible achieved result. For most, the moment they attain results, their perceived value increases; ergo, the illusion that the sudden increased confidence was connected to the result.

For example, I am an extremely confident person, but have no experience or achieved results in golfing. But the first time I headed to the greens, I placed score wagers against my more experienced golf buddies that have been playing for years. I lost, but I came close. Despite the loss, my confidence was unscathed. "They got lucky!" LOL

All you need to do is to believe greatly in yourself--in your value--to effect genuine confidence.

 

[wifehunter]

Which begs the question...

What is confidence? in actuality?

It's a belief in something, right?

Belief in what, our imperfect selves?

Self-confidence is potential failure.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

I think its so difficult to grasp because confidence is emotion and not sth logical we would like to be.It connected with fear or anxiety as confidence simply could be described as 'lack of fear' about yourself with touch of self-love.If you master to control how you react to fear and anxiety you should automatically become more confident.In the movies characters who appear confident are always calm and in-control of their emotions.
Positive experience gives us positive feedback and emotions about us and let us build more stronger confidence.Lets say you must do public speech, you may fail first time ut after 1000 times you will be confident -if- you can control your emotions (fear,anxiety).Thats why some people never get confident despite experience - they are unable to control negative emotions and it shakes their inner ego.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

I agree there Johny. Fears are roadblocks to higher-perceived value. Eliminate the fear, then what is there really to stop you?

From a physiological standpoint, myriad studies support that higher testosterone levels are inversely correlated with the degree of unconscious fear. It is well settled, also, that higher testosterone levels correlate with increased confidence. Thus, fear and confidence do inversely correlate, if not directly, then at the very least incidentally.