Concerning Games

[Remulak]

I’ve dated this girl now for two months and everything seems to be going well except for the fact that she seems to throw jealousy test after jealousy test at me continuously. It gets pretty annoying although I never let her know that it’s getting to me by my demeanor. Some examples of jealousy tests she’s given me:


Example #1

The other day she went away to visit her friend at another university, before leaving she was hanging out in my bed and she said “I’m going to see my friend from high school that I haven’t seen in a few years, she’s crazy…my ex boyfriend hated me hanging out with her, she’s the one who got me drinking in high school blah blah blah.” An obvious jealousy test, now since I’ve been only dating her for two months I responded with indifference because I know that’s the way to deal with jealousy tests.

Example #2

I looked at her My Space and she had a comment from a guy that said something along the lines of “Yea, it’s been a while since those 2 dates we had…we should do something about that.” Mind you I’m not really concerned because I hang out with her every night. She knows I look at her My Space and I assume it’s another attempt at making me jealous. I never mentioned anything about that to her. PASS?

Example #3

Before she left to visit her friend at the other university (See Above) she said she was going to call me when she gets there and call me when she's drunk at night. That night I get an awkward "Hi Remulak" text message followed by “Hey, I’m at this bar…call me when you leave your bar.” At the end of the night yesterday I call her and she doesn’t pick up, after specifically asking me to call her? Today I feel a little hurt that she’s still playing this stuff with me. Tonight my friend and I are going out to meet some new girls because honestly right now I just don’t know what to think. I know you may be thinking she may have just missed my call but she has tried this “call me” maneuver one time before.

Example #4

Mentions guys she thinks are cute to me to get a rise out of me. She had mentioned she thought our waiter was cute when we went out to dinner the other night.

I have showed little to no jealousy and maybe It's getting to her and she wants me to show some? I don't know.All in all it’s been very weird behavior to say the least, before she left she seemed like she was going to genuinely miss me and she definitely likes me because she calls me and texts me everyday. I just don’t understand why she feels the need to constantly jealous test me all the time. I’m not concerned on whether she likes me or not because I can tell she does, she’s a caring considerate person and always seems happy to see me. I wanted to consider this girl for a LTR because overall she's been great except for these damn tests. Is there any end in sight with these tests? or should I write her off as a game player and use her as a FB and pursue other girls.

 

[WC2]

I didn't even read half your post, but theres a big rule when it comes to jealousy. Don't let yourself become jealous, or even worse let her see that you are jealous. You asking her about it does nothing but makes her feel more powerful than you, and makes you look like half the man you are.

Next time she tries to test you with jealousy, ignore it like nothing happend. Even better, I used to do this with my ex-gf. Crazy as it sounds, it worked like a charm. We were at a club one night and she said she thought some guy was really cute. So what did I do? I walked over, introduced both of us and said my girl would like to dance with you. I walked away while they danced, mingling with the girls at the bar. Before I knew it she was back behind me kissing me telling her never to leave her side. Now risky as it sounds, I knew the guy was a total dweeb who had the looks but lacked any game or wit.

 

[Remulak]

When she tells you to call her, you call and she doesn't answer... the next day doesn't call to apologize not even a text....is this disrespect? and if so how do i go about dealing with it?

 

[WC2]

Hell yeah it's disrespect. Don't get mad about it though, get smart about it. Stop calling her so much and ignore some of her phone calls. Give her a taste of her own medicene.

If she's not returning your phone calls and not even apologizing about it then she might be testing you to see how you react. Just act like you don't care.

 

[KontrollerX]

Dude you're 21 years old.

You don't need all of this aggravation.

Her bullsh!t is clearly bothering you so here's what I'd do in your situation.

I'd keep using her for sex but in the meantime I'd be looking for a replacement girl that wouldn't be such a games playing b!tch and once I secured that new chick it'd be SEEYA to the other one.

Let her go suck off that other guy on Myspace and run her games on him...as she probably will anyway behind your back from the sounds of her.

You're a DJ you don't need that sh!t in your life.

Only things that make you feel good and advance you not have you looking over your shoulder wondering if this b!tch is really loyal or not.

 

[Remulak]

UPDATE:

The day after missing my call (yesterday) she called me and I didn't pick up to give her a taste of her own medicine. Funny thing is she left a message and it was in her typical innocent sweet voice as if nothing had happened the night before. I'm wondering now if I should start to distance myself a little bit to show that these games and disrespect are unacceptable. Should I call her back today?



Thanks for the input Kontroller, you're right I need to find a back up and quick but it's tough because I've invested a solid two months on this girl and we hang out everyday. Partly I'm hoping that the games will stop and I won't have to find another girl.

 

[Remulak]

Do I return her call or no? Need some help because if I call it's going to be tonight...

 

[Ralston]

when in doubt, do NOT return her call. you gotta mix it up man, make her think that you arent interested sometimes...she'll remember. Shell probably also assume that you have other women in your life if you arent talking to her everyday too - which is a good thing! A girl is not gonna want to suck a guys d*ck, unless she thinks other ho*s are stuffin your d*ck in their mouth. So just play games, just like she does. Use her game back on her. Everything she does to piss you off...do it to her. Dont tell her why you are doing it either. Allz fair in love and war.

 

[WC2]

Listen to ralston

 

[jigga23]

dont play games back at her cause if you do shell do sh!t to counteract them. you gotta be the one to stop them. my ex in the beginning of everything played the jealousy card so much. i would act very indifferent too her little tests. basically i dont give a fvck cause i really didnt. we werent "together" officially yet and she would flirt in front of me with my friends say this guy is cute etc. one time i was like you know what i dont really care you can fvck my friend for all i care. i honestly wasnt showing her the attention she wanted. Partly cause she wasnt a challenge at that point and she acted kind of crazy. we were hanging out for a couple of months sleeping together everynight etc. hanging out just like you are. then one night i went to the bars with her and her friend came up to me and told me she fvcked that dude i told her to fvck when i was showing i didnt care about her. then i really started to care. so after that night i was like you know what fvck you im done with you i know were not together but thats fvcked up and im sick of your tests and games etc. after that sh!t was good. so take what u want from my experience. if it really bugs you call her out on it and say i cant be with someone who acts like that so show her the door and see what she does. of course shell deny it but you know what you are seeing and she knows what shes doing. i walked out said my piece of mind and said dont call me again and some other fvcked up sh!t. then 5 hours later she calls me to apologize cause she knew she was wrong. SAY DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BUT I CANT PROMISE YOU THAT ILL BE HERE IF YOU CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE A CHILD.

 

[Ralston]

i would act very indifferent too her little tests. basically i dont give a fvck cause i really didnt.

exactly. unlike this other guy, you didnt give a ****. this guy apparently does give a ****...so turn her games back on her and show her how it feels (just like her daddy would, b/c u know daddy gives a ****)

 

[Remulak]

Ralston, I give a fvck but everything she's thrown at me I've responded with indifference. I think my only option right now is to play her game a little bit and throw her shyt back. If she doesn't eventually stop with the testing then all I can do is call her out.The first month there were absolutely no games, if a guy would hit on her in front on me the girl would say sorry as if it was her fault for getting hit on! She had astronomical IL, her IL is still very very high but I feel if a girl is testing you it means she's feeling a little ballsy and confident with herself in the relationship and I need to put her back in her place.

 

[Ralston]

yadaaamnright