radi0head
Don Juan
Ok so i'm in this semi-complicated situation with this girl i'm going out with. We are both 16(same grade, same school) and have been going out for 5 months. We've never had a really close relationship as its mainly based on physical attraction and actions. So i like her quite a lot and she seems to like me but i feel she's taking me for granted. Its my fault as I think i've given her all the power in the relationship, which i want to regain
as the guy i've always had to plan things and ask her when shes not busy to try and arrange time to get together. This means that shes the one who decides if the date happens or not, which just throws the power her way. I know a good thing to do is if she ever does ask is to say i'm busy(making her think her time with you should be cherished and is valuable) but we so rarely hang out that when she asks i'd be crazy to say "no i'm busy i have to hang out with my friends that i hang out with everyday." So this has been going on for about 5 months now and i feel now she takes me and my time for granted(maybe subconciously) but it makes me feel quite worthless. I've been trying to put a price on myself and making me feel valuable but lately its not been happening.
Another thing thats related to this problem is the way she acts with other guys. Shes pretty flirty with other guys and is a big hugging caring person. This is okay(its her, so i can't complain) but sometimes it seems quite intimate with her hugging other guys. Like inhaling with strong eye contact(yes i see she does it a lot). Now while i'm there in the group(were always hanging out wiht a bunch of people) i don't exactly feel threatened, because i know i'm at least 5 times more attractive than all these guys who never get any attention from girls, so i'm not exactly worried of loosing her. Its just its either like she does this to make me jelous, which i don't think so because she doesn't even look at me. Or its because shes testing her limits to see how much she could do with other guys, or its because she doesn't realize what shes doing is a little too imtimate when she has a bf. Now i'm not just a little jelous b**** because my close friends notice this too. I'm just wondering what i should do because i never compete for her attention with other guys i try and get her to get my attention, but not giving her much, but what always ends up happeneing is we just don't talk so she talks to a group of guys and i talk to my close friends, or a group of girls when i'm feeling particularily jelous and hurt. I sometimes just hug as many girls as intimately as possible when i see her doing it just to make the feeling go away, but i don't believe this is the best way to do it. Now my gf hugs like all the guys and they are pretty much all ugly but she seems closer with them then with me because when we are with other people it doesn't seem like she ever wants to spend time with me. Other times shes like "i miss you so much i want to be with you," so i'm really getting mixed signals here.
this has been on my head for a week and i guess it doesn't sound like much but i like her so its been affecting my quite a bit. So much today that at everymoment i needed to be doing something to take my mind off it so i got kicked out of classes(never happened before) like scribbling on my hand all over covered in ink and getting arrested at mcdonalds(not really related, stupid incident involving a toy gun) but these things would not be happening if i wasn't feeling this way because of her. I really do not want to break up with her because the time we spend together is priceless, but the time we spend apart hurts.
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:::::::::IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THAT (i don't blame you its more of a release right now) THEN JUST ANSWER THIS:::::::::
How can i regain my girls attention so she is trying to get my time instead of me trying to get hers. And how can i make it obvious her overly effectionate ways with other guys bothers me without sounding like a needy AFC(which I am).
thanks guys i doubt anyone will read this though, but it feels good to get out.
as the guy i've always had to plan things and ask her when shes not busy to try and arrange time to get together. This means that shes the one who decides if the date happens or not, which just throws the power her way. I know a good thing to do is if she ever does ask is to say i'm busy(making her think her time with you should be cherished and is valuable) but we so rarely hang out that when she asks i'd be crazy to say "no i'm busy i have to hang out with my friends that i hang out with everyday." So this has been going on for about 5 months now and i feel now she takes me and my time for granted(maybe subconciously) but it makes me feel quite worthless. I've been trying to put a price on myself and making me feel valuable but lately its not been happening.
Another thing thats related to this problem is the way she acts with other guys. Shes pretty flirty with other guys and is a big hugging caring person. This is okay(its her, so i can't complain) but sometimes it seems quite intimate with her hugging other guys. Like inhaling with strong eye contact(yes i see she does it a lot). Now while i'm there in the group(were always hanging out wiht a bunch of people) i don't exactly feel threatened, because i know i'm at least 5 times more attractive than all these guys who never get any attention from girls, so i'm not exactly worried of loosing her. Its just its either like she does this to make me jelous, which i don't think so because she doesn't even look at me. Or its because shes testing her limits to see how much she could do with other guys, or its because she doesn't realize what shes doing is a little too imtimate when she has a bf. Now i'm not just a little jelous b**** because my close friends notice this too. I'm just wondering what i should do because i never compete for her attention with other guys i try and get her to get my attention, but not giving her much, but what always ends up happeneing is we just don't talk so she talks to a group of guys and i talk to my close friends, or a group of girls when i'm feeling particularily jelous and hurt. I sometimes just hug as many girls as intimately as possible when i see her doing it just to make the feeling go away, but i don't believe this is the best way to do it. Now my gf hugs like all the guys and they are pretty much all ugly but she seems closer with them then with me because when we are with other people it doesn't seem like she ever wants to spend time with me. Other times shes like "i miss you so much i want to be with you," so i'm really getting mixed signals here.
this has been on my head for a week and i guess it doesn't sound like much but i like her so its been affecting my quite a bit. So much today that at everymoment i needed to be doing something to take my mind off it so i got kicked out of classes(never happened before) like scribbling on my hand all over covered in ink and getting arrested at mcdonalds(not really related, stupid incident involving a toy gun) but these things would not be happening if i wasn't feeling this way because of her. I really do not want to break up with her because the time we spend together is priceless, but the time we spend apart hurts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
:::::::::IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THAT (i don't blame you its more of a release right now) THEN JUST ANSWER THIS:::::::::
How can i regain my girls attention so she is trying to get my time instead of me trying to get hers. And how can i make it obvious her overly effectionate ways with other guys bothers me without sounding like a needy AFC(which I am).
thanks guys i doubt anyone will read this though, but it feels good to get out.
