Completed Week 3 of Boot Camp

[InvisibleMan]

OK completed week 3 of the Boot Camp:

Goal was to approach 10 women I would be interested in and have a conversation. Did that (although I pretty much did this in week 2). Asked 7 women out and they all said no for one reason or other.

The point of at least the early Book Camp weeks seem to be to get over fear of approaching women, but I don't have too much fear of that. I'm just tired of women saying "I have a boyfriend." It just gets old. Everybody has a boyfriend around here and they all seem to love 'em. I bet if I was Brad Pitt they wouldn't have a boyfriend. LOL

Many articles on here talk about watching for the "signs" that a woman is interested in you. I never get those signs. Women are nice and polite to me. That's it. If I smile at them they always smile back. Women never initiate a smile. If I press for a date for coffee or something they start hemming and hawing after I talk with them awhile, most say they have a boyfriend, some reluctantly give phone numbers but some have been fake and the rest never return phone calls.

Why am I so psychologically castrated? Women seem to think of me as a eunuch. I just don't get it. I'm in better shape than 90% of all the men around me, I dress nice, smell nice, and don't come across as creepy or needy. People say I am masculine, handsome - don't come across as gay or anything, but its as if women see straight through me regardless if I am ****y, confident, or whatever.

It's actually becoming quite amazing. I can't even get dates from 300 pound women or women with missing teeth! It's gone past the point of frustration into the realm of supernatural. I think I need to check myself into Harvard or Cambridge or something and have a team of pyschologists study me for a couple of years.


- Invisible Man

 

[Luke Skywalker]

You are doing great! Hang-in there.

 

[squirrels]

Instead of saying, "I can't! I can't!", maybe you should sit for a moment and think what lesson these rejections are trying to teach you.

Insanity is doing the same thing the same way repeatedly and expecting different results.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Instead of saying, "I can't! I can't!", maybe you should sit for a moment and think what lesson these rejections are trying to teach you.

Insanity is doing the same thing the same way repeatedly and expecting different results.

Yes, I am quite insane by now. :crazy:

Problem is, I still don't know what I am doing wrong. I try to do everything the way most articles and Don Juaners say you are supposed to do.

One other problem is that I simply do not have the time to approach hundreds of women during the week like people say I am to do. Asking for 20 or 30 dates is already nearly a full-time job and I can't allow my work and other aspects of my life to suffer. Why does this come so easy for other males?

If I were to have their success at this I would literally have to approach several thousand women just to get a few dates, and only a one or two of those would probably be eventually interested in sex. I would have to approach a large percentage of the female population in a major city just to increase my odds of getting laid. It is simply logistically impossible.

Still trying....


- Invisible Man

 

[2cirius]

Some people talk about a disfunction called "Sexual Autism," which is an inability to read and/or interpret sexual signals.

Even if this were a legitimate "disorder," however, it stil doesn't explain why someone hasn't made some overt sexual overture toward you at some point (something that you can't miss). It also doesn't explain why every woman you talk to is not interested when you are sending out your OWN signals. I don't know.

There is an interesting point I once saw about "feral" children. Children that have literally been raised by animals. Anyway, there have actually been a few confirmed cases of this and from these cases it has been learned that if a child doesn't learn how to speak before the age of 5, that person WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO SPEAK. Something in the brain shuts off after that age and the ability to learn to speak language atrophies to the point that you will NEVER learn language.

Not saying you were raised by wolves or anything but maybe the ability to approach a mate is similar. If not done and practiced correctly at an early age, maybe the ability is lossed forever. Maybe there is something in women that can sense this lack and turns them off completely.

Maybe you should join a monestary or something dude. But even those guys get some sex on the sly.... I'd say you have a serious problem - ever look into a voodoo curse removal person or something? You may have to get used to just not having any women my friend.



~~~~~~2cirius~~~~~~~~

 

[Luke Skywalker]

One other problem is that I simply do not have the time to approach hundreds of women during the week like people say I am to do. Asking for 20 or 30 dates is already nearly a full-time job and I can't allow my work and other aspects of my life to suffer. Why does this come so easy for other males?

- Invisible Man

You seem to be successful and have some money. Try this out...
http://www.seduceandconquer.com . Go for the gusto. They have vacations in the Dominican Republics and Cancun Mexico, if I were you, I'd order everything on that site, DVD's and everything, and go on those vacations with them. The DVD's are important because it shows behaviour you can actually model (haven't seen it myself though, and I'm not selling something I didn't try myself)

I am a poor man myself and cant afford to invest in their products, but I'll tell you, if I had the money and weren't living with my parents, I'd be heading to the Domenican Republics to go clubbing with them there and go in a seminar.

If you try out this system, please let us know how it goes. This guy, Payton Kane, claims to have a 100% success rate. Anyone will succeed in that program, even me, should I ever decide to buy into it myself in the future.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm doing an ONLINE bootcamp at adultfriendfinder.com - I'd rather pay for one month of membership and rejection humiliation rather than do a bootcamp in person. It's much more comfortable at the other end of the screen.

You can find out more about my bootcamp on a thread called my Adult Online Personal Ad on the General Discussion section. But it's brutal like yours.

 

[JoeBlack]

Where are you approaching women?

Cold approaches in normal situations, at least in my eyes are relatively hard to pull off.

Why not focus more on bars and night clubs? Take a friend with you also so it doesn't look like you are out alone trying to pick up girls.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Where are you approaching women?

Cold approaches in normal situations, at least in my eyes are relatively hard to pull off.

Why not focus more on bars and night clubs? Take a friend with you also so it doesn't look like you are out alone trying to pick up girls.

I don't have any friends. And I don't like to go to bars. There is way too much competition there. I'm giving up anyway. Going back to being a hermit.


- Invisible Man

 

[d9930380]

Ok first off, can you see why I said that women can sense when you're inexperienced. I also agree with the other poster that if you don't do it early in life and learn when it's natural then learning later can make it seem forced or artificial, women pick up on that. I don't think you have a major problem though, you just need ONE girl. Once that happens and you get into a relationship (however short), you will start appearing more sexual to the opposite sex. Everyone says that women come in droughts and floods.

Have you tried lonely harts or a dating agency and just take ANYTHING. I know it will hurt your pride a bit but just think of her as another person and imagine her to be your dream girl. It's a bit fake but that will put you in the right state of mind to actually get your dream girl.

Also the fact you have no friends is more worrying, this is a HUGE turnoff to anyone including women. How do you practice talking socially if you have no friends to talk to? Remember you're not talking to an employee or a client but a person who wants to be entertained, listened to and made to laugh. It's not porn where the girl will just come in and strip off.

If you don't have time for a life (a common problem) then you need to decide what will make you happy: more money and material possessions or friends and a girlfriend. It's your life and your decision and it will be hard however life is a once only deal so you have to decide what's important.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Ok first off, can you see why I said that women can sense when you're inexperienced. I also agree with the other poster that if you don't do it early in life and learn when it's natural then learning later can make it seem forced or artificial, women pick up on that. I don't think you have a major problem though, you just need ONE girl. Once that happens and you get into a relationship (however short), you will start appearing more sexual to the opposite sex. Everyone says that women come in droughts and floods.

Have you tried lonely harts or a dating agency and just take ANYTHING. I know it will hurt your pride a bit but just think of her as another person and imagine her to be your dream girl. It's a bit fake but that will put you in the right state of mind to actually get your dream girl.

Also the fact you have no friends is more worrying, this is a HUGE turnoff to anyone including women. How do you practice talking socially if you have no friends to talk to? Remember you're not talking to an employee or a client but a person who wants to be entertained, listened to and made to laugh. It's not porn where the girl will just come in and strip off.

If you don't have time for a life (a common problem) then you need to decide what will make you happy: more money and material possessions or friends and a girlfriend. It's your life and your decision and it will be hard however life is a once only deal so you have to decide what's important.

I work 60 hours a week just to make enough to live in a decent place, have something decent to eat and have a gym membership. It's not like I'm going after millions or anything. Besides, I enjoy what I do.

I actually tried local dating services in town and was rejected by 2 of them. They said they had too many men and couldn't add anymore. The other one wanted to know my income level and all that and I found out they charge around $2000 for the service. Too much money for me. I've had absolutely no luck with online dating.

As far as practicing social skills: I talk to acquaintances once in awhile, people at the store, or whatever....but that's it.


- Invisible Man

 

[JoeBlack]

sorry, double posted.

 

[JoeBlack]

I am trying hard to work out if you are serious or not.

Why are you posting on here if you are ready to give up? Giving up is your choice of course.. be a hermit then and be frustrated for the rest of your life.

Why not put girls OUT of your head for now. Focus on making some good friends and get some fun in your life as this will have a massive effect on how you approach girls.

Just focus on one thing at a time and stay focused ond positive... Get your life sorted and a goods friends base to start with and take 6 months to get it... Then work from there.

 

[InvisibleMan]

I am trying hard to work out if you are serious or not.

Why are you posting on here if you are ready to give up? Giving up is your choice of course.. be a hermit then and be frustrated for the rest of your life.

Why not put girls OUT of your head for now. Focus on making some good friends and get some fun in your life as this will have a massive effect on how you approach girls.

Just focus on one thing at a time and stay focused ond positive... Get your life sorted and a goods friends base to start with and take 6 months to get it... Then work from there.

I've been focused other things my whole life so far. Why do you think I've only asked 40 women out in 20 years? I'm 36 now and I ain't gettin any younger, man. My life has been sorted for the past 5 years now. That's why I wanted to concentrate on this, 'cause it's the only thing in my life that gives me frustration.


- Invisible Man

 

[JoeBlack]

ok, I may have jumped to some conclusions.

To be honest, friends are one of the most important things to me and I figured seeing as you said you had none, thats why I made my comment.

Having good friends, normally equates to people liking you and you being a likeable person. I figured making some good male friends would not only be good social interaction in general but also a better place for you to be when ayttracting women.

****, make friends to make friends, don't worry about competition.

Anyway, up to you., I hope you find better success shortly.

 

[d9930380]

I sort of said this in the last thread but friends are REALLY important. All the guys who have the most "luck" with girls are also the ones who are just the most social. Being successful with women is just another social skill - nothing different. Yes they test us etc and there are slight differences but being able to hold a conversation is the MOST important.

Find social groups you can hang out - It might seem like a waste of time but it isn't - you're practising social skills. Try finding the ones with women however don't look at them as places you can "pick-up" - you never should **** in your nest unless you really think the girl is worth it.

 

[supyos]

Why does everyone just keep saying go make friends!!! When your in your 30's it's not easy to just "go make friends" I moved from the west coast 1 1/2 years ago and I am still struggling to meet new people out here in the East Coast. I am a socialable guy that has lots of friends back on the West Coast, but have really struggled out here. I have met some people at work, although almost all are upper 40's, it's an older company. I go to bars and socialize. I go to sporting events and socialize, but it's still tough to meet quality people you would want to hang out with. I am in a bit better situation than invisbleman is, in that I have a few good friends out here, but nowhere near my west coast social ring. I almost think back here on the East Coast it's so damn clicky, if you didn't grow up here you are an outcast. To break that mold it's rough!! I really have been trying to not make excuses. This spring I am going to signup for both Softball, and ultimate frisbee ( Big here) and both are coed! I am also going to look for a job with more my age employees. So invisibleman I am with you...and all these people that say "Just make friends!" are not really looking at how hard it IS to make quality friends. I didn't realize this until I moved...and damn man it's been tough!! Always miss that golf buddy, or Movie buddy, or even lunch buddy!

 

[InvisibleMan]

One of the reasons I am such a hermit is that all of my "friends" would only call me when they wanted something from me. "I need someone to look at my computer," "I need someone to help me move," "I need a ride somewhere..." Blah, blah, blah. I started dropping them like hot potatoes after awhile. I mean, I could find a chick to have that kind of BS!

True friends are real tough to come by. A wise man once said: "Don't count your friends until you're down."



- Invisible Man

 

[jophil28]

Plenty of friends will ride in a limo with you but a true friend is one who will ride a bus with you when the limo breaks down.

I have a gut suspicion that you are sending out "I am real scared and I hope that you will like me, " vibes.
Chics say that they want a "sensistive caring " man but they really want a man to take charge.
I just approach them and say," You, Me - dance floor now ! " And point to the dance floor. It never misses after they get over the shock of being given and order. The modern woman THINKS that she is holding "auditions" when guys are approaching her and this blunt technique crushes her mindset in a heartbeat. It gives you all the power and power is sexy .
Yeh, some of them say ," Ask nicely" , I say , "Maybe I will treat you better if you show me your soft feminine side." That tosses them for a loop again.
Dance three (no more) dances and then walk away. The next move is all YOURS.

NOboby EVER said that women make sense or say what they really want because most of them have no clue about their inner wants and needs.

 

[InvisibleMan]

I've apparently got all kinds of issues, dude. I can't think about any of this stuff anymore. There is too much pain. I am now miserable all the time. At least I was just empty but content when I wasn't trying. Now I'm just miserable and angry and bitter. I can't take feeling like this anymore. I'm going away for awhile.


- Invisible Man