DonJuanabe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2012
- Messages
- 592
- Reaction score
- 22
I can't tell you how many times I've heard a girl say that as we begin dating. Until recently I always thought it meant that the girl would freely communicate with me in a straight-forward manner and we would always be free to discuss things. How many times have I had that assumption smashed into a wretched pile of an ended relationship with me thinking "What the F happened?"
Rollo has a good essay titled "The Medium is the Message".
In any case, what you need to understand is what a girl means when she says communication is important in a relationship. She means that guys have a great deal of difficulty figuring out her dialect of woman@se, what she is saying, or what she wants and that you are going to find out just how important it is to easily understand her or you are going to be exasperated. In other words, start learning her language or the relationship isn't going to work out. Got a problem with that? There are plenty of other guys who think they can deal with her code.
Examples?
Girl agrees to go to dinner and movie but, late afternoon, says she will be late because it's going to take her a while to get ready but we should be able to get to the movie before it starts and we can grab dinner afterward at the food court. I think okay, dinner and food court. I wear jeans and henley, she arrives dressed to kill at a 4-star restaurant. She frowns. After the movie we're eating in the food court and she mutters "Here we are at the mall on a Saturday night..."
99% of me says I did nothing wrong. 1% of me says if I had focused not on myself or on us, or on the activity, rather, focused on her exclusively (remember, women are solipsistic) I would have realized that her needing lots of time to get ready meant she didn't want to go to a movie and food court on Saturday night -- taking lots of time to get ready means she wants to go out to a nice restaurant.
Another example, in the beginning of a dating relationship with a girl we both agree to always talk about issues if they ever arise. Good communication is important. A few weeks later I sense something isn't right and I ask her. She refuses to talk. I press her saying we agreed to talk. She refuses to talk. I press her. She gets angry. The next day I tell her we should get together and talk. She says we're done because I don't respect her needs (she was an introvert) and am too pushy and have to be right all the time.
Anyone else?
Rollo has a good essay titled "The Medium is the Message".
In any case, what you need to understand is what a girl means when she says communication is important in a relationship. She means that guys have a great deal of difficulty figuring out her dialect of woman@se, what she is saying, or what she wants and that you are going to find out just how important it is to easily understand her or you are going to be exasperated. In other words, start learning her language or the relationship isn't going to work out. Got a problem with that? There are plenty of other guys who think they can deal with her code.
Examples?
Girl agrees to go to dinner and movie but, late afternoon, says she will be late because it's going to take her a while to get ready but we should be able to get to the movie before it starts and we can grab dinner afterward at the food court. I think okay, dinner and food court. I wear jeans and henley, she arrives dressed to kill at a 4-star restaurant. She frowns. After the movie we're eating in the food court and she mutters "Here we are at the mall on a Saturday night..."
99% of me says I did nothing wrong. 1% of me says if I had focused not on myself or on us, or on the activity, rather, focused on her exclusively (remember, women are solipsistic) I would have realized that her needing lots of time to get ready meant she didn't want to go to a movie and food court on Saturday night -- taking lots of time to get ready means she wants to go out to a nice restaurant.
Another example, in the beginning of a dating relationship with a girl we both agree to always talk about issues if they ever arise. Good communication is important. A few weeks later I sense something isn't right and I ask her. She refuses to talk. I press her saying we agreed to talk. She refuses to talk. I press her. She gets angry. The next day I tell her we should get together and talk. She says we're done because I don't respect her needs (she was an introvert) and am too pushy and have to be right all the time.
Anyone else?
