humiliator
Don Juan
My first post on these forums!
I'm in my second year of college. Before I get to my question, let me give you a little summary of my DJ career.
In high school and my freshman year of college I had no social skills and was desperate. Now, things have improved greatly. I've killed my desperation and I've had a couple girls be attracted to me. (I only went out with one because I really disliked the other one). I feel confident in my ability to get a girl by, for example, sitting next to her in class and making small talk before the class actually starts, and after a week or so asking her out.
Obviously this is not enough!
There are people who will go to a party and make out with a girl or even get laid. Now, I don't hear about or get invited to all that many parties, but the few that I've been to have been complete failiures as far as macking on girls is concerned.
At a massive, shoulder-to-shoulder kegger on Halloween, I tried to initiate conversations with girls by just saying, "Hi" or "Whatsup?" and making small talk about the party or their costume (seemed to be the most obvious way to start a conversaation). Most girls simply wouldn't say anything back after I said hi. For those who did return a greeting, the conversation was minimal, and when I'd ask something like, "What's your costume?" it seemed as if they really thought I just wanted an answer to that one question. There was one girl whom I was able to talk to for a minute or two, but it turns out she had a boyfriend.
At smaller parties, I've been able to talk a girl intermittently throughout the night, but the conversation stays at the level of small talk and I'm always on the wrong ladder. (If you're not familiar with the ladder theory, "wrong ladder" means a girl thinks of you as someone who could be a friend, not someone they could be sexually attracted to). When I say "I can talk to her intermittently," I mean that we'll repeatedly exchange a few sentences and then she'll prefer to talk to someone she already knows.
I really don't know what the protocol is for this situation.
I see two options:
a) starting with small talk (like I've been trying)
b) immediately implying sexual interest w/o using a cheesy pickup line
I've been using (a) because I thought (b) could come off as desperate. However, (a) runs the risk of ending up on the wrong ladder, unless you can get the girl in a quiet spot where you can touch her on the arm or hand, which will at least get you on the good ladder, if not leading to a make-out session or sex if she is really drunk or just a horny person.
The other problem with (b) is that I'm not sure how to go about doing it, because obviously I can't just go, "You're hot!" or "I want to screw you." I'm sure (b) would also only work at a huge party, where nobody else can hear your conversation.
I've got a phone number by method (a), but it will be very difficult to make the first date successful. (I haven't called her yet, probably will tonight).
I have a friend who is a girl and is kind of a slut. She's had sex with guys she met at parties, though for some reason she avoids giving me advice on this like the plague. It really pisses me off, but that's a different story.
My minimum goal is to be able to get a phone number and be on the correct ladder.
I bought a book on conversational skills, so hopefully that will help too.
I'm in my second year of college. Before I get to my question, let me give you a little summary of my DJ career.
In high school and my freshman year of college I had no social skills and was desperate. Now, things have improved greatly. I've killed my desperation and I've had a couple girls be attracted to me. (I only went out with one because I really disliked the other one). I feel confident in my ability to get a girl by, for example, sitting next to her in class and making small talk before the class actually starts, and after a week or so asking her out.
Obviously this is not enough!
There are people who will go to a party and make out with a girl or even get laid. Now, I don't hear about or get invited to all that many parties, but the few that I've been to have been complete failiures as far as macking on girls is concerned.
At a massive, shoulder-to-shoulder kegger on Halloween, I tried to initiate conversations with girls by just saying, "Hi" or "Whatsup?" and making small talk about the party or their costume (seemed to be the most obvious way to start a conversaation). Most girls simply wouldn't say anything back after I said hi. For those who did return a greeting, the conversation was minimal, and when I'd ask something like, "What's your costume?" it seemed as if they really thought I just wanted an answer to that one question. There was one girl whom I was able to talk to for a minute or two, but it turns out she had a boyfriend.
At smaller parties, I've been able to talk a girl intermittently throughout the night, but the conversation stays at the level of small talk and I'm always on the wrong ladder. (If you're not familiar with the ladder theory, "wrong ladder" means a girl thinks of you as someone who could be a friend, not someone they could be sexually attracted to). When I say "I can talk to her intermittently," I mean that we'll repeatedly exchange a few sentences and then she'll prefer to talk to someone she already knows.
I really don't know what the protocol is for this situation.
I see two options:
a) starting with small talk (like I've been trying)
b) immediately implying sexual interest w/o using a cheesy pickup line
I've been using (a) because I thought (b) could come off as desperate. However, (a) runs the risk of ending up on the wrong ladder, unless you can get the girl in a quiet spot where you can touch her on the arm or hand, which will at least get you on the good ladder, if not leading to a make-out session or sex if she is really drunk or just a horny person.
The other problem with (b) is that I'm not sure how to go about doing it, because obviously I can't just go, "You're hot!" or "I want to screw you." I'm sure (b) would also only work at a huge party, where nobody else can hear your conversation.
I've got a phone number by method (a), but it will be very difficult to make the first date successful. (I haven't called her yet, probably will tonight).
I have a friend who is a girl and is kind of a slut. She's had sex with guys she met at parties, though for some reason she avoids giving me advice on this like the plague. It really pisses me off, but that's a different story.
My minimum goal is to be able to get a phone number and be on the correct ladder.
I bought a book on conversational skills, so hopefully that will help too.
