Cold Approaching Illegal???

[justiceseeker]

My nephew, who is 19 years old, went to the mall yesterday with a few of his friends. He's an aspiring young DJ and against my advice, thought he would start cold approaching different women. My nephew and his friends are well dressed, decent looking guys. They certainly don't come across as "creepy" in my opinion.

So, he tells me after making several approaches on random women, and being rejected almost everytime, SECURITY stops them. They had received complaints that he was HARASSING women in the mall.

Now, according to him, all he was doing was approaching and asking if they'd like to go out sometime. Most of the time he'd make small talk, then go for the close. I never was a proponent of the cold approach simply because it's not effective. Sure it might increase your confidence and make you immune to rejection, but let's face it. In today's society it's a bit threatening to women.

Just a head's up on this situation and wondering if this has ever happened to anyone else?

 

[Bigg Boss]

Cold approaching random people is next to pointless. The game is chess, not checkers

 

[justiceseeker]

Cold approaching random people is next to pointless. The game is chess, not checkers

But the very term "cold" approach implies that you're approaching random people. Like "cold" calling refers to calling random people on the phone trying to get them to buy something. I agree, the whole cold approach philosophy is ridiculous. It has it's merits for building confidence, but it's basically a huge waste of time.

 

[Bigg Boss]

Ah I see... I added random people because I would make an exception when it comes to having convo with someone random when there is a logical reason. Like conversing to the girl next to you in a long line.

 

[Dink]

Just cold approaching anybody is absolutely pointless and will take you nowhere. He needs to realize that finding a reason with a certain women to create small talk will create oppurtunity. I do it all the time with women and i never go to close the deal almost always. I've had instances where the girl will stop me before i leave the store and talk more. this is a instant sign she wants to get your number. play your cards right and you might end up with a flush.

 

[AFC Championship]

Security guard was insecure....and AFC.

 

[Nutz]

Cold approach is pointless? You guys are kidding right? Stop being an AFC and sack up and approach. Get out there and meet some people ffs!

If anyone honestly thinks cold approach is a pointless endeavor, please give pickup podcast a listen to and read some books on pickup already. Most of the material out there is exactly for that type of encounter, and it's like that for a reason. If you rely on warm approaches or social circle game, then you put yourself at risk of relationships by accident, which is a terrible way to meet new people. If anything it screams of insecurity and being afraid of putting your ass on the line and risking being rejected by strangers. That's one of the core elements of being AFC.

Bottom line, it sounds like the kids in the oringinal post were running in packs. When you approach you go solo to prevent exactly the sort of thing that went down from happening in the first place. 4 guys hit on 2 girls and they get scared. Plus then they think the guys hitting on them are insecure because they needed their friends with them as moral support. Screw that! You approach solo, then bring your wings into the set after they've hooked. That's the cold approach 101 he seems to be missing. Check out the Venusian Arts Handbook or Magic Bullets for more info. Also, the newer stuff by VA is pretty good, especially the CD set by Lovedrop. It was the set they released last year prior to their new Revelations product.

 

[actionjaxson]

cold approaching works. so what if theres a higher chance of rejection? if you miss you shoot again simple as that its like playing basketball. and its not a waste of time because all you do is say a few words when you see a girl that you want. its not like your walking through the mall all day long. girls are everywhere, the bus, the store, etc.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

C'mon Big Boss and justiceseeker, he prolly weirded many of the women out. So what if security throws you out of the mall once? Gonna let that stop you? And as the last 4 posters have said....We SHOULD cold approach a woman we feel desire for. We should want to. Women want it deep down yet don't expect it. You guys find it ridiculous? Ur cowards. Its one thing to prefer non-cold approaches, but its another to bash it cuz ur afraid. Thats all. No lie. Ur afraid to go up to one small hot girl without eye contact. Ur afraid of that rejection, well its time to man up and not rely on social circles.

Thats what this site SHOULD be about. Its the risk in the game, being thrown out of a mall. The Guards were being stupid flat out. What these eye contact before approach playas should advocate more on dealing with rejection. How do u know u'll get rejected if u don't step over? Honestly...no more assumptions. Hell, my best approaches were cold, eventho ones with e/c i got good ones too.

 

[ElStud]

It's not illegal and your nephew shouldn't even worry about it. This kind of thing sort of only happens if one of the girls you approach is a huge b*tch or some idiot person who's watching him feels they need to put in their two cents. But don't worry about it too much. That's just peoples way of trying to get you down and you can't react to it. Besides, socializing and having a nice fun convo with a women is harassment nowadays? Haha, bull. You also have to consider the fact that some cops and security guards are just assh*les. And so what if you ARE weirding women out? You shouldn't care if they're weirded out. As DJ's we test stuff in field and we practice stuff on women.

But yeah, similar thing happened to me. I'm walking around the lunch room at school opening all the sets, not caring if they're interested or not and getting interest and then I go up to this one table of Freshman b*tches and they freaking lie to one of the lunch people and tell her I'm harassing them, which was a lie. WORSE THING was lunch lady tried to make it seem like ALL THE GIRLS were saying that when it was just them(I know this because I got interest from most of the other tables). Always gonna be the womens word against yours. So yeah, it happens and it's not even that big of a deal, so don't even pay attention to it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I have never been a fan of bothering strange girls at the mall. If any woman gets a clue about what you are doing, she will instantly think you are a desperate creepy loser weirdo. That's what happened to your nephew.

If you live an active and social life, you will cross paths with attractive new women all the time. Cold approaching to me is being able to get a number or email from the women you happen to run into anyway. If you can't be genuine, then fake it. Act like you don't notice her, get close, then look up and crack a joke about her purse or shoes or something like you are just seeing her for the first time, and go from there. Do not stand in one place and bother all of the women that go past. That is pointless and stupid.

Also, at least try to be observant. If she has a giant diamond solitaire on the ring finger of her left hand, if you are at her workplace and there are pictures up of her and a guy, or if she is at a store pushing a cart full of supplies for a big family - those are not girls who wants to be hit on. Be smart about it.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Stop trying to scare and discourage newbies...

If your a creep or approach WRONG then yes you will get called out on it. One place I go to I seen a group of PUAs who was GAMING get stopped by cops and all because of there behavior...

For those who say cold approaching is pointless...shut the fuk up...because all the women I know now with the exception of 2 is from cold approaching...

I never get in trouble and ever badly blown out because I don't game...I'm me...

On the other hand I have wings who approach hardcore...and have got banned from malls but that was when he was first starting out...he's been humilated many times over...

But you know what he is the same guy who is pulling women off the street and laying them in lss than 4 hours now...he is the one with some real cool gfs...Stop thinking cold approaching is pointless...because I'm living proof that cold approaching works as all the women I currently know except 2 is from cold approaching...

 

[DonGorgon]

THE EXTREME DESPERATION OF TOO MANY MEN HAS LEAD TO SOCIETY BEING OVERLY PROTECTIVE OF WOMEN even if there is no danger... Women are in such higher demand than men now that they are treated like walking diamonds that need to be protected constantly.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Some of us are hunters, some are trappers. Both methods will feed you when done well.

I look for an IOI before I chat up a girl. Smiling, hair twirling, acting like a giddy schoolgirl, being fascinated with everything I say, and basically any sort of compliment or initiation of physical contact - those are all IOI. Women are very subtle, but the ones who are lonely and horny will let you know. Most of them will only be able to give you a look that they think is obvious or tell you that they like your hair or some compliment that women would like to receive themselves. Think of reversing the roles and the things she says and does coming from a guy. If it's AFC behavior, that means she likes you. A lot of women are desperately lonely and horny, yet will only give you very subtle IOI. If you are good at seeing these, you can get laid without getting kicked out of public places.

 

[ketostix]

Cold approaching is not illegal. In most places even asking a girl for sex is not technically illegal, but cops can always pull out some loitering or disorderly conduct basis to run you off. No girls might have complained. The security guard goons were probably watching you on the video cameras. Some girl might have complained being the AW b!tch and your cousins might be young and uncalibrated in their approaches, but you said they were being polite enough..Point is it's BS the mall security sides with some b!tch and harass the male. The thing is the mall is private property and they can ask you to leave for any reason or for a stupid reason.

It helps to actually be shopping when you sarge at the mall in two ways. It makes mall security hesitant to harass a paying customer and it looks a lot better to girls you approach because it looks like you're there for more than just meeting girls. That cost money, and money gives you leverage. There really isn't anyone you can sarge for free without someone thinking they can push you around. Maybe going to a bar and not drinking is one example of CA for free. You could get clever and buy stuff then come back and return it. This would give you 2 trips where it loks like you are doing business lol.

This is really an anti-male, sexist society. Men are expect to approach then they are harassed for doing it. It's discrimination pure and simple. However, if you are calibrated and can build attraction in your approaches you won't see this problem. I think you should tell your cousin to look for IOI's and keep the aproaches very brief a first, i.e., just say hello to a girl or give them a wink and smile. Trying to plow for a close on every cold approach is probably what's giving them problems.

 

[COD]

THE PROBLEM WAS HE DID A BULL-DOG APPROACH........."COME ON BABY JUST GIMME YOUR NUMBER........."

No wonder they told security...........

Hanging out at a mall just waiting to pounce just SCREAMS CREEPY.

Cold approaching should be tempered with warm approaches......YA its nice you scared 100 women....but sucks if your results got you busted.

You not supposed to make a day event out of it.........SHEESH NEWBIES

 

[ItsOnNow]

This is what I am worried about, coming off as creepy, which I don't think I do, and something like this happening. It seems like unless you fit her crazed ideal of perfect, you don't stand a chance. I am not talking about being a "people pleasing, nice guy doormat", no, and that's not my problem either. It seems unless you fit into her unrealistic fantasy world, you got no shot. Am I right or wrong in this? It's unfair. It's unfair they are allowed that advantage when I really think all most guys want is to find a nice girl,fall in love, and start a family. Is that unrealistic, or more unrealistic in today's world?

 

[justiceseeker]

This is what I am worried about, coming off as creepy, which I don't think I do, and something like this happening. It seems like unless you fit her crazed ideal of perfect, you don't stand a chance. I am not talking about being a "people pleasing, nice guy doormat", no, and that's not my problem either. It seems unless you fit into her unrealistic fantasy world, you got no shot. Am I right or wrong in this? It's unfair. It's unfair they are allowed that advantage when I really think all most guys want is to find a nice girl,fall in love, and start a family. Is that unrealistic, or more unrealistic in today's world?

A lot of guys have the same concerns you do. It's like walking a tightrope. On one hand you want to be out going and take a shot, but on the other hand if she takes you the wrong way or is freaked out, it could cause trouble.

To be honest, I don't think cold approaching's benefits outweight it's disadvantages. The 1 in 100 chance that something will come out of it doesn't make up for all the negative crap that could happen.

As a side note, we should look at this from a female's perspective also. Although most guys aren't dangerous, we've all seen the news lately and you can't rightly blame some women for being extra cautious these days. It's not fair that good guys get punished for what a few scumbags do, but the reality is that women face more risks than men.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Well, the whole dating scene in general, I am sort of still in the minor leagues, I want to be this more confident outgoing person, but I am a bit more mmm,shy/introverted, or perhaps these are labels in my head.

It's really all in how you say it isn't it? I am not a scumbag, but have done things I am not too proud of. Esp something that could be seen as a red flag...

 

[r0cky]

This entire thread proves that SoSuave.net is slowly but surely becoming the internet's AFC hotbed.