Cold Approach game weak AF

[amazingswayze]

I'm beginning to have serious doubts. :woo:

It took me a while to get the balls to approach. Now I know how to. Thing is, I'm really bad at it.

I've racked up at least 100 rejections in the past year from cold approach alone. Sure, I'm better for it. On the other hand, I want to actually succeed.

It's like this when I walk up to a girl;

1. I introduce myself
2. Initiate convo (small talk)
note: I try to vibe but it's usually awkward unless the girl reciprocates
3. If things went ok, I go for the number close
4. rejection

:box:

My cold approach game needs some serious work.

My friends were telling me that the girls seemed a little bit creeped out at times when I approached from behind.

One thing I should mention is that I'm not really receiving any IOI's from these girls, I just approach if they look decent.

It's a numbers game so I'm just looking to approach as many as possible.

How can I improve my odds when I approach?

 

[loco]

That is because you have the order wrong.
So switch #1 with #2 and make #3 the teasing,playful joking and provoke IOS,then make #4 the number close. The fact that you have rejection as one of your "game steps" is the reason you are failing grasshopper!

 

[cola]

^^^ Thats actually good advice. Also are you rushing the number close? Unless its a rushed situation take your time and build as much rapport as you can with her before the number close.

 

[marmel75]

try initiating by asking their opinion on something...chicks love this and it seems totally normal and then you just transition it...

Just make it be about something that makes sense...for instance if you are in a clothing store:

"Excuse me, I just wanted to see if I could get your opinion on something real quick...I was considering getting this <xxxxxx> for someone ans was wondering what you would think of it as you seem to have the same type of fashion sense as they do..."

This works well for a few reasons:

1) You are just asking for help with something by asking her opinion...it gives her an indirect ego boost because you are basically saying you value her thoughts on the subject.

2) You then follow it up with an indirect compliment, ie, "You seem to have the same fashion sense as her"---it doesn't come off as creepy or needy, it comes off as a genuine compliment, and one she probably rarely gets. The kind that makes you stand out.

3) Listen to her thoughts on it, and maybe ask a few follow up questions as to why she thinks that, etc...

4) Transition into where you want the conversation to go as she should already be comfortable talking with you and it doesn't make you seem like a stranger now as she already has been talking to you for a few minutes.

5) Don't stay too long, then say "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you <name>, how could we continue this another time?" If she was enjoying herself she will offer her number to you. If she hesitates or doesn't offer the number, then follow up with "Maybe we can grab a drink sometime and talk more...give me your number and I'll give you a call or text sometime and maybe we can make that happen."

I think you'll find your success rate will improve quite a bit with this, at least with getting the number and making them more comfortable initially...

 

[guru1000]

100 rejections in one year are rookie numbers. You will need thousands of rejections to be a Class A seasoned Casanova. Get those numbers up.

Each approach day, focus only on the number of approaches you are committing to, not your success or rejection rate. Your acclimation and communication skills will aggrandize commensurate with the number of approaches you make--A/K/A each approach, your game will strengthen. You could have strong game at 20 yo or 50 yo. Up to you.

Once you conquer the art of rhetoric effectively; women will be the byproduct you least desire. You will have other, more challenging mountains to conquer with your cogent communication skills. Consider this a class in life, not women.

As to what to say: Speak as you would to your buddy. No different. As your communication and verbiage pronunciation sharpen, and you sound more confident (speaking with conviction), then you can be more dominant in your tone and approach.

 

[amazingswayze]

Good Advice!

That is because you have the order wrong.
So switch #1 with #2 and make #3 the teasing,playful joking and provoke IOS,then make #4 the number close. The fact that you have rejection as one of your "game steps" is the reason you are failing grasshopper!

I need to tweak my approach. This is a good start. Thanks loco!

 

[Thechamp]

Why don't you just work out , look after your self work on your future and your job , approaching 1000 women is complete stupidity , just travel to Diffrent countries and it will happen naturally not everyone can approach so many people what if you approach so many girls and get knocked back buy all of them , if you want to improve your game travel to a Diffrent location this is what puas do, take people's money and approach drunk women all over the world .

 

[Anima]

Why don't you just work out , look after your self work on your future and your job , approaching 1000 women is complete stupidity , just travel to Diffrent countries and it will happen naturally not everyone can approach so many people what if you approach so many girls and get knocked back buy all of them , if you want to improve your game travel to a Diffrent location this is what puas do, take people's money and approach drunk women all over the world .

I agree with the first half of this. I know him somewhat personally and know that he needs to do that. Everyone is suggesting that he just keep at it and fail some more, but that's going to make it worse if anything.

 

[Thechamp]

Not everyone can be James bond , it's unrelastic approaching one thousand women that's stupid because people have to work make money , all that will happen is this guy might approach more than one hundred women and than what after that he keeps getting knocked back ?, then he will end up more depressed looks money status and social circle matter alot. So j would say enjoy life approach what you can and see what happens. Travel work on your body and your job!

 

[Bingo-Player]

i see cold approaching as nothing more than gaining experience and confidence

you get to see what they postively respond too and what they dont

VERY rarely are you ever going to get something to matieralise out of a cold approach its just too creepy

ive only ever managed to pull it off once and i got lucky because i bumped into a girl on a night out that i had approached earlier that day

simply use it as a tool

 

[pyros]

if he got 1000 rejections...I think OP would commit suicide.
Awful advise.

Dont fool yourself. When you see videos of "PUAS" cold approaching and succeding at it, think that:

1. they probably got rejected dozens of times until they could record a couple of girls giving them their number
2. some of the girls you see who give their number probably got paid to act in front of the camera.
3. even if those girls where sincere, you never see them actually having dates with these chicks, neither having sex with them. So those numbers they got went nowhere.

So...conclusion: cold approaching every girl you find attractive in the streets is plain stupid.

It is way more efficient to go to a party, have a good time, and see if some girl you like looks at you or smiles, then approach her. Repeat the cycle as many times as you want.
This is how it has always been done. The thing is that if you want to be a DJ you just have to DO IT A LOT, and keep several women in rotation.
This accomplishes several things:

1. you get rejected A LOT LESS.
2. you dont see it as something you must do. You do it when you're having fun, being social etc, so it is like a reward, instead of an objective.
3. you don look like a creep.

I said, what these 'gurus' sell on their videos is pretty much bulls-hit.

Anyway, I think that nowadays it is the hardest time to find quality women to have a LTR with. Women are way too entitled, have to many options 24/7 etc, while the average Joe gets nothing. And even if the average Joe turns into Super-Joe he still has a difficult time while the average Jane has more than what she can handle.

 

[guru1000]

if he got 1000 rejections...I think OP would commit suicide.
Awful advise.

How do you argue with excellence, especially in such a debilitated state?

I don't fvck 9s by the dozens today because I have done everything right in my life. I have failed, and have been willing to fail, more than 99% of men. Rejection does not preclude success, but rather is a prerequisite of it. Any man who has accomplished gargantuan success in any pursuit has had his lion share of failures--which have served as learning lessons a/k/a stepping stones to his throne of transcendence.

You are foolish if you avoid rejection, as a man who cannot rise above his ego, will be trapped by it. The throne goes to the man who willingly embraces failure; all others who are consumed by it, run away from it, thus living life complete and replete with nothingness.

 

[marmel75]

How do you argue with excellence, especially in such a debilitated state?

I don't fvck 9s by the dozens today because I have done everything right in my life. I have failed, and have been willing to fail, more than 99% of men. Rejection does not preclude success, but rather is a prerequisite of it. Any man who has accomplished gargantuan success in any pursuit has had his lion share of failures--which have served as learning lessons a/k/a stepping stones to his throne of transcendence.

You are foolish if you avoid rejection, as a man who cannot rise above his ego, will be trapped by it. The throne goes to the man who willingly embraces failure; all others who are consumed by it, run away from it, thus living life complete and replete with nothingness.

"I haven't failed. I simply found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-Thomas Edison talking to a reporter before inventing the light bulb and changing the course of history as we know it....

 

[walker_hunter2010]

I actually did 10K approaches of 5 years, and I feel that I'm almost there. But you did get the order wrong first do #2 then #1. Once you get enough rejection your approaches will autocorrect itself, but that's only if you don't drop out by then.

 

[amazingswayze]

Bottom line...

So...conclusion: cold approaching every girl you find attractive in the streets is plain stupid.

So if there's anything I should learn from this post...

It's the fact that?

1. Cold approach has very little practical use
2. The ability to do it is good in itself (confidence)
3. This is one of the worst ways to meet women (LTR's at least)
4. Self-Improvement will yield better results
5. Don't stress these ho's!

 

[loco]

Please refrain giving this guy or any beginner dj for that matter strategies and tips from a master game level,he is not there yet, you cannot give an algebra student tips on how to pass a calculus test,its ridiculous.

There are levels to this game and telling him to do 1000 pointless approaches and asking him to game on anything over a 5 is about as useful as a stress bag.

Amazing,you need to keep with the basics,do not approach anything above a hb6 because you do not have it down yet,when you can prove to yourself that you can bag a 5 with the basic game(because with a 5 that's all you should need) then you can start gunning down a 6.When you can prove you can bag a 6,then you can start to employ a better and more complex strategy and so on.8,9's and 10's will be obtainable when you have the experience,age and really now how to employ complex strategy,respond on the fly and be able to mix it up with the best of us.

stick to the basics,dont overthink for now and good luck!

 

[guru1000]

Please refrain giving this guy or any beginner dj for that matter strategies and tips from a master game level,he is not there yet, you cannot give an algebra student tips on how to pass a calculus test,its ridiculous.

There are levels to this game and telling him to do 1000 pointless approaches and asking him to game on anything over a 5 is about as useful as a stress bag.

Why don't you take your own advice and join him. Two rookies out there in the field are better than one.

My advice is tailored for superstars or superstars-in-the-making, not the hands of mediocrity. I was pursuing 9s and 10s since the dawn of time, and I still am. The colors you paint on and habits you invest into at birth will follow you till death. So keep it moving with your 5s.

 

[loco]

I like you guru,not only because you're a sosuave.net landmark,but because you keep trying to help the young ins at your fatherly age. However, I don't like that you are insulting the poster for being a rookie.He is asking for help and not a nag fest.It also doesn't help that you had 1000 rejections when you joined this site hence your screen name(must of hit a nerve).SMH

 

[guru1000]

Well now ... if that is the level of wittiness you employ in your game, I can see why you are chasing 5s :crackup: