Clubbing Dyamics

[spinaroonie]

So I'm just getting into the clubbing scene and I'm noticing a clear trend here in the venues I frequent - Toronto area nightclubs populated by college kids.

The girls will be dancing in a circle with their girlfriends, surrounded by a wall of guys. Eventually a few guys muster enough balls - abetted by liquid courage - to hit the dance floor. Only to get haplessly shot down by girl after girl. Some will resort to haplessly dancing the night away with their male buddy.

Worse, there are few opportunities to hone my game; there are few open sets because all the girls are on the dance floor. One set my buddy and I attempted to open resulted in the girl calling me "rude" for interrupting their conversation, and she stormed off pulling her friend to the dance floor with her.

I'd always imagined dance clubs as places where girls came in, entertained suitors by the bar, and danced the night away with a few good charming prospects, with the potential to escalate to something more. Yet I don't see any of that. I see more girls dancing with girls than I see dancing with guys. The white couches in the lounge are vacant - because nobody's making out.

Night after night I see the same dynamic; well-dressed, good-looking guys going home alone or with other guys, and packs of girls going home together, gaggling away with their girlfriends. And keep in mind this is in a venue populated by HB5-HB7s - (the male equivalent of HB5-7 stay home). I'd go so far as to say that one can stack up the girls and guys in these joints, and the average guy would be better looking than the average girl.

What's wrong here? Aren't girls looking to meet new guys and hooking up? Or are girls just going to dance? Is it the girls or is it the guys? Are male-female social mating dynamics in 2009 just so askew?

 

[daygameguy]

There is something wrong with your area. Can you not avoid clubs with a dance floor?

I'd recommend learning some dance floor game or avoiding the dance floor completely, game outside the dance zone.

Make a female friend at the bar or something, take her with you on the floor, let all the chicks see you with that female.. THEN try for the ones you want on the dance floor.

 

[kdnash82]

I've done the whole club scene and to some degree it is what you've said. I don't usually go for any group of girls larger than 2. For me, anything over 3 by myself is hard to pull off because you have to keep the attention of all 3 girls before you isolate the one that you want. It's hard enough keeping 1 girl entertained which is basically what you have to do if you plan on getting the one you want alone.

With that said, I've found a new venue. This past year, I really put myself out there and met a lot of good people. It's gotten to the point where I'm out and about and girls I met earlier last year will see me and come say hello. I did this by having my mutual female friends invite their friends to come out. I would make friends with them which opened my circle that much more.

Before I knew it, I had a huge circle of female friends who all want to see me settled down. They introduce me to their friends in hopes that they will be the one. I have my fun, tell my friend that it was a no go, and they bring me another. Crazy huh?

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Yea, those certain clubs seem flat out retarded. I wouldn't even bother with them. But Topic Creator, why not go up to girls who look like they're having fun and not ones who have a straight face. The ones who are in a group of ten and look like their on a mission to dance with themselves aren't even worth ur time. They're insecure, trying to feel better about themselves. U can do better . But those guys who get shot down, hmmm...they might suck approaching.

But if u want to do well, Why not go up to them, take their hand and pull them to dance with dominance, fun and assurance that they will want to dance. Trust me...girls like that are shocked by guys like that.

 

[SharinganUser]

Man you need to move. Ontarians are the most uptight people in Canada. This is coming from someone from Ontario.

 

[ready123]

personally I think any guy who likes music/dancing should at least try dance floor game a couple months. and I'm not talking about dancing with her 2 mins just so you can extract her back to the bar. or opening her on the dancefloor as if you guys were having a conversation and trying to pull her into your non-dancing reality. I'm talking seriously having fun on the dancefloor and dancing with girls

the reason is, first of all, it's fun. you've been working your ass off all week, a dancefloor is like the complete opposite. second, it has the potential to be one of those big non-verbal shortcuts. when your subcommunication is on, you can have a girl throwing herself at you and you haven't even said a word to her yet. it's fun as hell

and the girls are dancing with girls because...
- they're waiting to be hit up by cool guys and most of the guys (>50% of guys in any club) are pvssies who just paid $20 to stand on the wall for 3 hours and hold their drink
- the girls are retarded and don't even know why they're there (stay away from these if you wanna have a good night)

so go for the girls who are having fun. or the ones who are scanning the room, not an insecure way, but in a way that subcommunicates they want to meet someone

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

ready123...is right. Def scan for the HOT women who are def apart of the group but are not THAT involved, scanning. Those are money! Its funny, in some clubs...i'd literally see some HOT women just standing there with the group doing nothing, and when i went over there...they're all happy.

So yea!

 

[Duffdog]

So I'm just getting into the clubbing scene and I'm noticing a clear trend here in the venues I frequent - Toronto area nightclubs populated by college kids.

The girls will be dancing in a circle with their girlfriends, surrounded by a wall of guys. Eventually a few guys muster enough balls - abetted by liquid courage - to hit the dance floor. Only to get haplessly shot down by girl after girl. Some will resort to haplessly dancing the night away with their male buddy.

Worse, there are few opportunities to hone my game; there are few open sets because all the girls are on the dance floor. One set my buddy and I attempted to open resulted in the girl calling me "rude" for interrupting their conversation, and she stormed off pulling her friend to the dance floor with her.

I'd always imagined dance clubs as places where girls came in, entertained suitors by the bar, and danced the night away with a few good charming prospects, with the potential to escalate to something more. Yet I don't see any of that. I see more girls dancing with girls than I see dancing with guys. The white couches in the lounge are vacant - because nobody's making out.

Night after night I see the same dynamic; well-dressed, good-looking guys going home alone or with other guys, and packs of girls going home together, gaggling away with their girlfriends. And keep in mind this is in a venue populated by HB5-HB7s - (the male equivalent of HB5-7 stay home). I'd go so far as to say that one can stack up the girls and guys in these joints, and the average guy would be better looking than the average girl.

What's wrong here? Aren't girls looking to meet new guys and hooking up? Or are girls just going to dance? Is it the girls or is it the guys? Are male-female social mating dynamics in 2009 just so askew?

College clubs and bars are very cliquey, so don't be surprised if none of the girls in the group aren't receptive. Try to find a club with sleazy girls, those are the best. They are easy to identify because there are no groups of 8 girls going in dressed like paris hilton because they are not in college. Most of the time its pairs of blue collar hot girls sprinkled with a few college kids that don't belong. There are a few places like that in my town, that is where most of my 1 night stands come from.

 

[Cry For Love]

Look up mystery method man. It is THE way to get girls in clubs.
(BTW to those that havent read his manual on it, keep your mouth shut on his subject to prevent looking like an idiot)

 

[Mike32ct]

Spinaroonie,

You are seeing the reality of this game. Most guys will leave a club empty-handed. It's NOT the non-stop orgy that people think it is. Picking up in a club is actually quite difficult for most guys. If you don't believe me, I encourage you to go to a club when it opens and stay the entire night until closing. Then stand near the door and watch who is leaving with whom. You will see groups of girls leaving together, guys leaving with their dates/girlfriends (which doesn't count as a pickup), and only a HANDFUL of guys leaving with girls they met that night.

I was a member of a 6-man lair and these guys eat, slept, and sh&t pickup. In a years time of going out three times a week, I witnessed no more than 2 successful ONS pickups in the group.

Why is it so tough?

1. As someone else mentioned, the college crowd is very cliquey. They stay in their groups and are distrustful of outsiders. Girls are FAR more likely to hook up within their social circle than outside. They feel safer because a friend can vouch for the fact that the guy isn't a psycho. (This applies to clubbing, bars, Spring Break, etc.)

2. A lot of girls are AWs, especially the Paris Hilton wannabees. They go to clubs to stroke their egos. They drink, dance lesbian with their girlfriends, reject a bunch of guys, and then leave with their group of girlfriends.

3. With the huge supply of sausage in a club, girls (even ugly nasty ones) can be very, very choosy. They are looking for the bigger, better, deal.

4. There are a LOT of distractions in a club. Besides the many guys, the girls are checking out the bartender, the bouncer, the DJ, etc. If a celebrity shows up (as in LA, Vegas, NY, etc.), forget it, nobody's hooking up except them LOL.

5. Girls are very jealous and protective of their girlfriends. C*ckblocking is common.


This begs the question, then why bother? While clubbing is a low odds game for most guys, the possible rewards are high. IF you are successful on a given night, you can escalate more and faster in a club than any other venue.

 

[Smack]

It also depends on the ages of the people involved. The clubs I go to are full of 18-20 year olds (uni students), many of which are still with their first loves, or virgins, and are generally more prudish due to their young age. Thus, I rarely see hookups between people of this age group at clubs.

Of course, I do see hookups, but most of them look like they are with people both over 20.

 

[Warrior74]

Use eye contact game in the club. Look for those who are looking at you. Smile and go speak. In the club its too loud for serious convos, so either pull her to the side to talk or take her on the dancefloor. Also make sure you have strong confident body language.

 

[Paintballguy]

One trick I use is to utilize social proof. I will dance with an alright looking chick, and the hb's will see me dancing with this chick. Then, you just go up to a hb that was watching you.

The last time I went to the club, I did this, and it worked great. This girl I was dancing with apparently came with another chick (hb8ish). The hb8 was eyeing me up the whole time. When I went to get a drink, the hb8 basically grabbed me to start dancing with her. Next thing I know, she has her hand down my pants, and I'm making out with her.

 

[PrettyBoyA]

Look up mystery method man. It is THE way to get girls in clubs.
(BTW to those that havent read his manual on it, keep your mouth shut on his subject to prevent looking like an idiot)

I completely agree with you

I have studied the art of pickup and have trained with one of the top pickup artists in the world, and i have to say that this site puts alot of hate on pickup methods but then they have no answer to posts like these.

i'm all for self improvement, in fact pickup even advocates self-improvement, but learning a method will greatly improve your ability to meet and attract women by tenfold rather than trying to become a 'dj' and hoping that girls will come knocking on your door.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Cry for love, the problem with the Mystery Method is that it doesn't prepare for beginners to deal with rejection and stills puts the woman higher than him. But PrettyBoyA...i agree that learning a certain method will get you to improve. The only reason it works is because of the guy's confidence in those lines and managing to fly under the radar initially to avoid some ****blocks. The girl liked him for his confidence, not of what he was talking about. Plus these days, so many know of the mystery method...If your gonna use it, come up with ur own lines. I just see no point in the indirect style these days.

 

[daygameguy]

I think everyone knows I advocate MM all the time here. BUT I think newbies need to understand it in a broader perspective. The thing is, I keep coming back to this site because,

A pick up artist is his best self for a day or for a night. But a true DJ is his best self forever.

 

[PrettyBoyA]

Cry for love, the problem with the Mystery Method is that it doesn't prepare for beginners to deal with rejection and stills puts the woman higher than him. But PrettyBoyA...i agree that learning a certain method will get you to improve. The only reason it works is because of the guy's confidence in those lines and managing to fly under the radar initially to avoid some ****blocks. The girl liked him for his confidence, not of what he was talking about. Plus these days, so many know of the mystery method...If your gonna use it, come up with ur own lines. I just see no point in the indirect style these days.

I think it does prepare beginners to deal with rejection. I think it teaches people to not look at the result and realize that girls aren't rejecting you as a person but just your approach.

The bootcamp I took had a strong emphasis on inner-game. What I learnt was not Mystery Method, but the man who trained me was trained by Mystery (I will not post the name of his method here since I am not here to advertise).

In this method we are taught how to use direct openers and ultimately naturalize your game, moving away from routines.

Mystery Method may not be for everyone but I would suggest everyone here to learn a pickup method. Only then will you be able to have the skills to go out and meet/attract women. All this stuff about 'becoming the prize' etc is just mental-masturbation.

By all means, be a successful business-man, work out and get a great body, these are GREAT things for your passive value. But also learn how to talk to a girl in a way that presents these great qualities to her.

 

[SharinganUser]

Mystery Method may not be for everyone but I would suggest everyone here to learn a pickup method. Only then will you be able to have the skills to go out and meet/attract women. All this stuff about 'becoming the prize' etc is just mental-masturbation.

No it's not. Do you think Hef, Trump, Ortiz, Jordan ect... ever had to learn a pick up method?

 

[PrettyBoyA]

No it's not. Do you think Hef, Trump, Ortiz, Jordan ect... ever had to learn a pick up method?

Wtf? They're celebrities. Enough said.

Edit: By the way, there are such things as naturals out there. Lots of them. I was talking about the people on this message board who post things like this topic.

 

[SharinganUser]

Wtf? They're celebrities. Enough said.

Edit: By the way, there are such things as naturals out there. Lots of them. I was talking about the people on this message board who post things like this topic.

That only proves my point. They became successful and well known at what they did and they can bang any woman they want. They never went to a boot camp, or seminar to learn how to pick up women.

I am not saying pua methods don't work and I have taken a few tips from them, but really most of my success has come from sorting out personal issues, and working on what most guys call "inner game." Two years ago, I was shy to approach one woman. Now I can open a group.

If you work on your inner game, you will automatically do the things that pua's advocate.