Club experts, need advice

[adler321]

Hello Guys,
I kinda have a problem when I go to the clubs. I have no problem getting out onto the dance floor and actually dancing, I am not afraid.
Where I run into a problem, is when I try to dance with a girl. I usually try to get closer to where she is and try to dance right next to her, and see if I can make some eye contact.
If she looks at me and smiles, I take it as a sign that I can try to move in closer. And I do, but many times when I do, some of her friends start moving somewhere and drag her with them. It is very upsetting to me. I thought that the girl was interested, and boom, she is gone. Also, a few times I danced up to a girl and we initiated eye contact, I said HI. She said hi back and smiled, but when I tried to move in closer, I got: "Sorry, you are too close to me" reply. What the hell? Being shot down like that several times in one night is very damaging to my self-esteem. I had nights where all this would work perfectly, but recently nothing but trouble.
Anyway, I am getting frustrated with this approach, maybe I should just stay at the wall with all the other guys? I am at a loss here, someone give me advice.

Thanks

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A smile from a woman does not mean "invade my space." She doesn't know you and has only danced with you for a few moments but yet you feel that you can move in just like that?

Slow your roll, try to get a vibe from her actions before you go in for the kill. If it's possible, try a little conversation. Just show her that you have a bit of interest (nice earrings, tattoo, dress).

Once she is a bit for familiar with you AND comfortable, then you can attempt moving in with kino. Nothing major, just enough to get a subtle response from her that you can read to tell whether you are heading in the right direction or not.

 

[adler321]

Yea, I guess you are right. Other times when I got women to dance with me, I could tell right away they were interested, because they almost jumped onto me on the dance floor. You get used to it, and when on one particular night when that doesn't happen you start pushing your luck. Thanks for the advice. Anyone else on this?

 

[Derek Flint]

I don't go to clubs to dance, I go to clubs to meet women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Derek Flint
I don't go to clubs to dance, I go to clubs to meet women.

So what happens when a woman asks you to dance?

 

[Derek Flint]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
So what happens when a woman asks you to dance?

Actually, I go to the pub/tavern type places nowadays.

I wrote a post about it a while back.

Here it is:

Repost:

I rarely go to dance clubs anymore.

Instead, I go to the "Pub/Lounge" type places for several reasons:

1) Most of these places don't have dance floors, although they do have ambient background music.
The women that go to these places are there to meet guys, not to dance.

2) The music is more for atmosphere at pubs/lounges and is not ear-splitting loud. It makes it 1000% easier to talk to women and run your game.

When you're at a dance club and you're trying to talk to women, you have to lean in so close to hear/be heard that you can't hold eye contact during conversation or read body language and almost have to yell to communicate.

You say something, and she says "what?" - you repeat yourself, this time louder and she still can't hear you.
Eventually she does, but then you're the one saying "what?" to her reply, and on and on, back and forth.
Very frustrating and a waste of time.

And for you students of SS, it makes it impossible to use patterns (shifting tonality and such) in a loud atmosphere and to read body language.

David DeAngelo often talks about how communication is mostly body language, eye-contact and tone of voice.

Not to mention, most of these places get really crowded to the point where you have to fight your way thru the crowd and wait forever to get a drink or use the bathroom.

And it can get hot and sweaty in those places due to the large crowd. No thanks.

3) Dance clubs are often populated with groups of women who are just out for a night of dancing with the girls and nothing more. They enjoy the attention from all the AFC's buying them drinks just so they can dance with them.
Again, the Pub/Lounge going women are pretty much there strictly to meet guys.

4) Dance clubs usually have some cover charge of anywhere from $10.00 to $40.00 or more, as well as a long wait to get in.
If after you wait in line for an hour and drop a fair amount of coin to get in and don't like the scenery, too bad.

Besides, I've got better things to do with my Weekend night(s) out than to stand in line for an hour while watching all the people on the VIP list waltz right in.


5) If you're not a good dancer, you might not do that well at dance clubs. The alternative is to take the time to learn to dance well.
The problem with that is that it's time - consuming and only helps your game in one environment.

That's time and effort you could be using to hone your DJ skills.
Skills that will help you PU in any environment, not just dance clubs. (Personally, I think dancing is somewhat AFC, but that's a different subject)

In my opinion, the Pub/Lounge scene is a better bet than the Dance Club scene when it comes to meeting and picking up women.

I usually go to an area of San Francisco (Known as "The Triangle") where there are about 10 upscale pubs/lounges/bar-restaurants within a quarter-mile radius.
You should see how packed the streets get in this area on a weekend night.
It's almost like one big street party and sometimes there is more action outside than inside.
No cover charge or wait to get into most of these places either.

And the women ain't there to dance.

 

[adler321]

Well, I guess my problem is that I try to dance with the group of girls, which is pretty stupid. Other women in the group always ****block me. Never works.
By the way, I don't go to clubs to dance.
I get out onto the dance floor because it shows confidence. In fact, several times women told me it was brave, now I know why (because they like to burn guys like me)
Maybe it's not a good idea after all. Clue me in on how you guys do it.

Don Francisco, and other times when women would dance with me, it would be enough to just come up to her, look in her eyes and she is rubbing up against me. But not when she has a friend with her who "looks out for her". It doesn't make any sense...

Cheers

 

[adler321]

Don Flint, thanks for your post. Now that advice I can use, it sounds like I can do much better in the bar environment. I recently got a DUI, so I try to stay away from drinking and driving. I wonder if they server non-alcoholic stuff?

Thanks a million guys. Francisco, thank you too.

 

[Derek Flint]

Yeah, you don't have to drink to pick up women.

Most of the hard-core Pick Up artists don't.

I actually quit drinking for a 10 year period and went to bars/pubs often.

I started drinking again about 2 years ago, but I never Drink and Drive.

I usually take the bus, and I even bought a Van for $300.00 that I threw an old futon mattress in and will crash out in for a few hours before heading home.
Lot cheaper than paying for a DUI

On certain occasions like Haloween, New Years etc... I'll book a Motel room close by to where I'll be out partying so I don't have to worry about driving.

It also means I have a place close by to take women, although it can get expensive, so I only do that about 6 times per year.

You can also cab it, but if you live a distance away from where the action is, that can get costly as well.

I've been in the "game" for quite some time, and I've found that the Dance Club scene is full of teases, time-wasters, gold-diggers and attention *****s.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by adler321
Well, I guess my problem is that I try to dance with the group of girls, which is pretty stupid. Other women in the group always ****block me. Never works.
By the way, I don't go to clubs to dance.
I get out onto the dance floor because it shows confidence. In fact, several times women told me it was brave, now I know why (because they like to burn guys like me)
Maybe it's not a good idea after all. Clue me in on how you guys do it.

Don Francisco, and other times when women would dance with me, it would be enough to just come up to her, look in her eyes and she is rubbing up against me. But not when she has a friend with her who "looks out for her". It doesn't make any sense...

Cheers

You've got it when you said why you go to clubs. A club is a means of marketing yourself. I've gotten to the pint where women ask is we could stop dancing so that we can talk. Sometimes we find a cozy corner and other times we leave either alone or with her girlfriends and go to an all night diner. But none the less, it was because of the 'marketing' that I was doing on the dance floor.

As for why women seem to look out for one another, I think deep down there a bit of jealousy from the c0ck-blocker. That's why I attempt to give enough attention to the entire group both while on the dance floor or talking to them all together. The way that I personally let the woman of my desire know my interest is via kino. Yeah, I'm verbally flirting with all of them but there's only one that I'm exchanging touches...

 

[Metaphysikal_Lover]

1. Read the post under player_supreme, eye contact game. You must be like a master vampire and wait to be invited in when you out on the dance floor unless...

2. You have good dance skills. For me I used to teach dance and hip hop and I did other things in the dance area..wink wink.

Dance to me is how people show their sensuality and passion through movement. Women are always drawn to a passionate dancer who moves with total control and expresses sensuality. I've give many woman orgasms just by dancing with them passionately.

You may think you are a good dancer but you might want to keep working on your ability to EXPRESS yourself through dance.

Some guys get out there and just move around and think they are looking good. Ever watch the movie "A night at the roxberry?"

So let me assume that your a OK dancer. If your in the OK status you will need to follow the steps of the game!

Wait for eye contact to iniate then move in. Sorry there is no shortcuts. She must be interested before you do your tyme steps up to her.

So what do you do?

You obviously get out on the floor and dance by yourself...been there and done that also...I know realize it a form of cowardice..cause your too chicken to walk over and ask a girl to dance...so:

Work on your dance and let it attract the attention that you need. Work on your confidence in your ability to let down your walls as you dance...the walls I'm talking about are the ones that keep you inhibited when dancing...

When you do ensnare a victim. Learn to match her movements at first...you don't have to straight up copy her the whole time but show her that you can do anything with your body. It's a kind of mirroring game.

Once you have matched her take control and start to change the rhythm and lead her. When she starts trying to match you:


then you can move in and touch her.

I start with a gentile touch on her trap area...since I have huge assed hands my fingers can touch down her back and I can begin to exert small control movements to help her match my dance...which is usually slow sensual side to side with shoulder movements.

Once I have her moving and under my spell then I move in closer. I will take her hands and hold them for a moment and turn her around and make her dance sensually with her ass up against me...then back around to the front...

Alot of young fools just do the hump dance and get girls to back that ass up..don't fall for that one.

Your dance must be one of over the top sensuality and control.

Look at latin dance for a clue to what I'm talking about. Watch how the man controls and the woman follows his lead...watch how he twirls her around and moves her hands over her head and down to the back of her kneck....

Ok enough said

 

[adler321]

To lead this to post to a logical conclusion, I have to say that I realized that the way I went about it was wrong.
I really invaded their "bubble" without even establishing any eye contact. I also realized that smiling more often helps too. So, these are my mistakes. Problem solved, I hope

Thanks for all those who tried to help!