Christian Pastors and their Message on Dating, Marriage

[pipeman84]

I've come across videos from this guy Vlad Savchuk (has quite a big following) who is a pastor and his wife Lana. He was a virgin (but with a porn habit) when he married her in 2010 age 23, she had, in her words 'a dark past with drugs and a party phase' (which can be seen on her face, she appears as an anxious/depressed person to me) before marriage (age 24). He preaches about no sex before marriage, not even kissing, yet he married a hoe. Not surprisingly, he said the first 2 years of marriage were difficult, from what I gathered it still doesn't look like a happy marriage.

Then there's Richard De La Mora , also a pastor, who married former pornstar Jenna Presley.

I'm like, WTF is this all about, this sounds like the scenario of a parody, not real life. These guys are like a morbidly obese person preaching on health and fitness. I'm just stunned. It looks to me like they use some warped interpretation of religion to justify their choices and make a (good) living in the process. Oh, and this is a good example of why I'm wary of the advice that going to church is THE place for finding wife material. What guy in his right mind wants these born again virgins with more baggage than an airplane as a wife?

 

[corrector]

What he is preaching is in the Bible. He didn't not marry a hoe, as you say, but an ex-hoe. There is a world of difference between the two terms. If he did not engage in any kissing, or sex with his wife before he got married, and she respected his boundaries and waited until marriage as well, then there is nothing hypocritical about that like you are implying. Unless he behaved differenly and you have proof of that then, you can't honestly say he did not practise what he preached.

Also, you did not specifically mention what her body count was? You said she had a party & drug phase, you never said she was an ex-porn star, stripper or worked as an escort or have an OF page, so that's actually unfair to say she was even an ex-hoe. People into those phases may have one boyfriend the whole time for all you know, or dabbled into sex a few times. You can't really say she went with 10s or 100s of guys.

The dating market is bad all over the place. It's terrible. The pastors marrying those types of women is just blackpill logic. If it was the 1950s then we would have a different story. This looks like some spill-over effect into the church about where things are going. In other words, the pastor has chosen way below his league and what is expected because that might have been his best option from what was available to him.
It's common knowledge the dating market is terrible right now for non-chad guys. If the pastor is not a chad-looking charasmatic guy then he should get a pass to whomever he settles with.

Therefore this does not sound like a religious issue but a blackpill dating market issue.

(Also, following what the Bible says does not mean it results in happy outcomes in this life as the focus is the next life. Christians are severely and horribly persecuted for their beliefs in other parts of the world and psychologically pursecuted in this part of the world. Even if this pastor was not happy in the first 2 years of his marriage, the religious perspective is about doing what is right rather than being happy (ie or carnal/worldly)).

 

[pipeman84]

First off, actions have consequences ... you can't just hoe around for years and then start reciting some scripture verses and sprinkle some mentions of Jesus in your discourse and pretend you're as good as new. By this logic, a convicted pedophile who's on the offenders register for life should be allowed to be around children again.

Secondly, I wasn't accusing him of hypocrisy, I was commenting on what kind of advice and example he's giving. Don't do anything physical, not even kissing with your prospective wife until you get married. It's bad for whatever reason. But ignoring her past behavior is not. So what that she was a party girl, did drugs and gave her pvssy away to random guys till she was 22? She has now found Jesus, the past is irrelevant. Really? Picking/choosing/misinterpreting the Bible to justify this absurd stance was part of my point in OP. Basic common sense and decency is enough to realize that kissing is perfectly fine and considering for marriage a woman with a sexual past is playing with dynamite.

Even if she's a virgin, to not express your mutual love in any physical form is ridiculous. With her being a former hoe, abstaining from even kissing is pathetic and laughable.

 

[corrector]

First off, actions have consequences ... you can't just hoe around for years and then start reciting some scripture verses and sprinkle some mentions of Jesus in your discourse and pretend you're as good as new. By this logic, a convicted pedophile who's on the offenders register for life should be allowed to be around children again.

How do you know if she hoed around. You just mentioned party and drugs and didn't specifically mention what her body count was. How much of a body-count does a woman need to have before she's considered a hoe by most guys? Comparing a convicted pedophile and any state impositions to his liberties to whom a guy can choose to marry with his own free-will is an apples and oranges comparison. There are many layers to this and I'm focusing on the point at hand, which is the lack of information about the woman and if she was a hoe or if you made that deduction because she was part of a party and drug scene. Not everyone into a party and drug scene is into casual sex/hookups as I mentioned and to say that would be guilt by association not guilt by facts.

Secondly, I wasn't accusing him of hypocrisy, I was commenting on what kind of advice and example he's giving. Don't do anything physical, not even kissing with your prospective wife until you get married. It's bad for whatever reason.

It's bad because their interpretation and mindset about what the Bible says it's wrong.

But ignoring her past behavior is not.

He is the one who is marrying her so that is his call to make. She did not divorce anyone, so there is no Biblical issue about it. Jesus did talk about divorce and remarriage. I broke up with an ex-gf in the past that I loved, and looked like it was a half-decent thing going on because she was divorced and ran too roughshod on her former ex-husband for me to continue a relationship leading to marriage with her in good conscience. Another guy, or another Christian guy may not care about that. I felt in my specific case I was following the Bible by looking at her past because that past was relevant to her present and it was relevant to the Bible. The triggering decision was because of the Bible. If someone is divorced and the ex-husband didn't cause it and still wants her back and she refused to reconcile with him, then she's untouchable with me.

That's an example of a past that is Biblically relevant. However, that did not meet the profile of this pastor. That girl had a different scenario. In her case you can say her past is irrelevant to the Bible because you can not really come up with any Bible verse, such as her being divorced with an ex-husband who still wants her and didn't cause the divorce, as making her unmarriable to a devoted Christian.

So what that she was a party girl, did drugs and gave her pvssy away to random guys till she was 22?

Now you are saying she slept with random guys. Did she say that she slept with random guys or is this something that you are inferring upon because she went to parties and did drugs? Are you 100% sure about that?

She has now found Jesus, the past is irrelevant. Really? Picking/choosing/misinterpreting the Bible to justify this absurd stance was part of my point in OP. Basic common sense and decency is enough to realize that kissing is perfectly fine and considering for marriage a woman with a sexual past is playing with dynamite.

Let me share a video with you from Better Bachelor:

Having a woman that has all of the check-marks does not guarantee a successful marriage in the end.

Even if she's a virgin, to not express your mutual love in any physical form is ridiculous. With her being a former hoe, abstaining from even kissing is pathetic and laughable.

I disagree, because it's their boundaries and they are trying to be pure according to the Bible. I personally have kissed women I have dealt with in the past so I personally may not take that type of view too seriously. However, if two people take that seriously and believe that is what the Bible is saying, and they want to please God, then its their perogative to be that way and it's none of our business.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Oh, and this is a good example of why I'm wary of the advice that going to church is THE place for finding wife material. What guy in his right mind wants these born again virgins with more baggage than an airplane as a wife?

No, this is an extreme example. The church does not teach “find a reformed hve.” The Bible says you find a wife, meaning she has to already be wife material.

 

[pipeman84]

How do you know if she hoed around.

Man, she said she had a past, at 16 she went to the dark side ... I watched parts of some videos and these are her words ... now what do you expect, her to tell the exact numbers of guys she slept with? Maybe she says it somewhere, they have plenty video content, but ain't nobody got time to look at that, I've learned enough. The guy actually after their first date said he couldn't be with her because of her past, then he fasted for 21 days and a month later he got back to her.

Having a woman that has all of the check-marks does not guarantee a successful marriage in the end.

I read about that ... I'm not familiar with the guy, but from the little I read, my impression is that he has issues. And I don't know if the woman was a real virgin when they married or one of these born again. Anyway, there are no guarantees, of course, but having a strong foundation sure helps and increase the odds of success.

 

[Dr.Suave]

How much of a body-count does a woman need to have before she's considered a hoe by most guys?

5 or more.

 

[jaymbrs]

This will be a never ending battle, @pipeman84 . For the record I agree with you. I posted something similar about this chick named Blac Chyna and how quickly everyone forgot how much she made on Only Fans because she mentioned the words "saved" and "christ" a few times afterwards.

 

[pipeman84]

Let me share a video with you from Better Bachelor:

This belongs to this thread https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/why-male-online-spaces-are-so-toxic.277721/
I'd come across that channel before and I didn't get a good vibe, now I watched 1 min and it's enough. The 'better bachelor' is a grifter, that's it. 200k views on that BS video in just 3 days? How do I know it's BS if I only watched 1min? Because of the description

Doesn't matter if you're a god loving, conservative, good supporting man, it's just always ends the same way. The odds are too against men.

and in that 1min he already said a falsehood, namely he believes they were each other first lovers (which by all probabilities is false).

Firstly, the guy was 25 when he married her after less than a year of knowing her. Too young, too soon. Secondly, we have no reason to believe she was a virgin, she is the same age as him, so there's nothing special about her. Thirdly, the fact they decided to have babies so soon before breaking up means both of them are messed up. Fourthly, just by this declaration alone he shows he's messed up

'And no, this was not my choice,' he added. 'My then-wife decided that she didn't want to be married anymore and in the state of Texas, that is completely permitted.'

... what does he expect, to hold her hostage? She shouldn't be allowed to file for divorce?

But if you go by what the better bachelor says, a perfect man married an unicorn and it still didn't work out.

 

[pipeman84]

This Steven Crowder situation helps to make a good point pertaining to this thread ... it appears to me they rushed the marriage in order to be able to have sex.

Let me preface this column by saying this: my wife (I have to get used to saying that) and I not only waited sexually in every way (no, we didn’t pull the Bill Clinton and technically avoid “sex” sex,) but we didn’t shack up as live-ins and most importantly, we courted each other in a way that was consistent with our publicly professed values.

Waiting till the wedding night – getting married the right way

Our wedding was truly a once in a lifetime event. It was a God’s-honest celebration of two completely separate lives now becoming one.

www.foxnews.com

That's just the wrong reason to get married ... marriage should be the logical next step on the journey of two people in love, not a ceremony that has to be performed in order that 2 horny young people could have sex.

 

[corrector]

She shouldn't be allowed to file for divorce?

No, the Bible says you can't divorce under any circumstances. The only release is if one of the party dies (implying of natural or accidental causes of course). Like you said, you can't cherry-pick verses you like and spit out verses that are contrary to what you or society sees as normal or you are not really better than the pastor, in at least the principles you have espoused here, that you are critical about.

 

[corrector]

This Steven Crowder situation helps to make a good point pertaining to this thread ... it appears to me they rushed the marriage in order to be able to have sex.

Waiting till the wedding night – getting married the right way

Our wedding was truly a once in a lifetime event. It was a God’s-honest celebration of two completely separate lives now becoming one.

www.foxnews.com

That's just the wrong reason to get married ... marriage should be the logical next step on the journey of two people in love, not a ceremony that has to be performed in order that 2 horny young people could have sex.

But that is what the Bible says to do. It says, that is better to marry than to burn (1 Cor 7:9). Therefore, it's better to marry than to watch porn (ie you said the pastor had a porn habit before). For people who fornicate, they are supposed to get married before they have sex. (1 Cor 7:2). The Bible is harshly opposed to fornication. Therefore, for something that is that core to the Christian faith, you can't really say it's a wrong reason. Like I said, you can't cherry-pick what you like and make up your own rules, it is what it is.

 

[Billtx49]

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