Choked on 2 Potential Approaches (1 Hot Tub, 1 Parking Lot) -- What's wrong???

[One on One]

Man, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I am coming up with decent lines and plans, but I am unable to go through with them even when my mind tells me the worst possible scenario ain't that bad. Here's two situations I just encountered before going home to wack off:

Girl 1: I'm swimming laps in the pool and I notice this hot chick in a white bikini getting in the hot tub. She's probably about 27 (I'm 21) and an 8. I take note and swim a few more laps before getting up myself to get in the hot tub. Now, I was a stupid idiot because I saw like 4 people in her hot tub and only one person in the other hot tub so I was like thinking it would be too weird if I got in her hot tub. So, I didn't even get in her freaking hot tub!

I still had a chance. I came up with a line in my head. The Mistaken Identity Approach. I was going to go up to her and say "you don't go to xxx university, do you?" Alas, I never made the approach and left dissapointed.

Girl 2: I'm leaving the gym and I notice this girl leaving the gym and she is walking like 15 feet in front of me. She is about 5'5", very thin, big tits, gorgeous. She was also probably about 27 and I give her a 9. I couldn't think of a great line, but I decided I would say, "how often do you have to work out to get a body like that?" Kinda AFC, I know, but I couldn't think of anyone else. Of course, I didn't even make the damn approach.

Some questions

1. What the hell is wrong with me?
2. Were the openers I was going to use any good?
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[coin]

You choked because you're afraid?

You just have to get to the point where you don't care whether they say yes or no. Once that happens you won't be afraid.

If it were me, I really wouldn't care, as I have no interest in doing anything with someone 6 years older than me.

 

[stormwriter]

Hesitation leads to... umm, you know...

I actually don't think you did anything wrong, and you shouldn't be rough on yourself. What you were about to do is a COLD APPROACH, and that's risky. Now, if you were to have made eye contact with these gals, and they smiled or something, and THEN you didn't do something, you would deserve to be hung.

The hot tub one would have worked out better than your "almost approach" in the parking lot. I can't imagine that working out line working on a chick.

You can't get frustrated over every non-approach. I saw some hot babes on my lunch break, but i didn't approach them. I was alone in an elevator with one, and i didn't even LOOK at her. It was like looking directly into the sun with a telescope.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

same deal, different place

Damn, it's tough when you're out by yourself, minding your own business, when all of a sudden an 8 or 9 just comes screaming by at mach 2 and you have like 3 seconds to think of an opener. I just saw one today at the mall...Hispanic, niiiiiiice body. I gave eye contact, she looked like she was in a hurry.
I hate it when they have that "I'm walking fast, won't give you eye contact, but I know you're checking me out," look.

 

[myfriendblu]

Dude,
nothings wrong with you whatsoever. cold approaches are difficult for a newbie, no ifs ands or buts about it. Keep re-reading the bible, work on your game/confidence/looks get into your hobbies and keep on trying.

 

[Oxide]

next time hit yourself in the nuts after something like this.

you are a man, you got for what you want, and u dont let something dumb as fear to get in your way!

 

[One on One]

Re: same deal, different place

Originally posted by Ol'BlueEyes
Damn, it's tough when you're out by yourself, minding your own business, when all of a sudden an 8 or 9 just comes screaming by at mach 2 and you have like 3 seconds to think of an opener. I just saw one today at the mall...Hispanic, niiiiiiice body. I gave eye contact, she looked like she was in a hurry.
I hate it when they have that "I'm walking fast, won't give you eye contact, but I know you're checking me out," look.

Ohhhhh shiznit!! I love how you describe that walking fast look...they so know we are checking them out. I wonder if an approach could ever work on a chick doing that.

 

[dionysius_d]

I was always into older women also at your age.. good choice. The other thing is that they are probably more mature than you, and will find you amusing rather than run away screaming.

The one in the hottub would have worked, if you had the balls to do it in front of 3 others there. However, the main point with the hottub incident is: Do what thou wilt!

If you wanna sit in that hottub, just do it. Forget how it looks to others.

This is hard to master though. I was unable to do what i desired until i was about 29. As you get older, you will give less of a stuff.

The gym incident i can't comment about.. i am not sure how i would approach a chick in the car park.. maybe i would ask her about her car, as a way in.. since every AFC would have been ogling her tits in the gym for the past hour.

 

[icepick]

FIRST of all, you have to realise that at 21 (!) you are the equivalent of an HB 10 to a 27 year old woman.

(However, I am still trying to figure out if women will take you seriously beyond sex-toy if you are younger then they are; from what I have seen, they don't, unless the age difference is like only 2 years or so, but if anybody can give me some real life examples to the contrary, I would be all ears.)

They should be thrilled that you are interested in them.

Anyway, to try to figure out exactly why you didn't approach, imagine in your mind the "worst case scenario". What is the worst thing that could have happened.

This will point you to the 'flaws' in your appearance and character. Your percieved flaws are the REAL thing keeping you from approaching. Either FIX them, or if they are petty, realize that they are not that big of a deal.

For example, some chick with a GREAT body was giving me mad signals a few months ago, but I didn't want to do anything about it. I looked at my 'worst case' scenario, in which she realized that I have just an average body, and saw me as a "little pretty-boy sex-toy" throughout the relationship.

"Is that petty, should I just go for it?" I thought. I decided NOT to and instead, decided to start working out to get a great body. Then, when this situation jumps up again, I will either have nothing to fear, or be alerted to something ELSE in my life that I need to improve.

It is really a simple process, just don't fall into the trap of beating your chest, saying "argh, I am a MAN! I don't care what people think of me," unless you really want to get rejected by hundreds of women before you find a good one by sheer statistical chance. (But now I am just rambling!)

 

[myfriendblu]

Re: Re: Choked on 2 Potential Approaches (1 Hot Tub, 1 Parking Lot) -- What's wrong???

Originally posted by icepick
FIRST of all, you have to realise that at 21 (!) you are the equivalent of an HB 10 to a 27 year old woman.

(However, I am still trying to figure out if women will take you seriously beyond sex-toy if you are younger then they are; from what I have seen, they don't, unless the age difference is like only 2 years or so, but if anybody can give me some real life examples to the contrary, I would be all ears.)

They should be thrilled that you are interested in them.

Ice,
You couldn't be farther from the truth. Women don't salivate over young teenage boys with washboard stomachs and raging hormones the way men do about teenage women. Just because he is 21 don't mean squat. Very rare is it, that a 21 will be with a 27 year old women. Women just aren't gaga over young men the way older men are gaga over young girls. A 27 year old girl would rather be with a well established and financially secure 7 than some 21 year old college student thats a 9 or ten. Everyone here with experience knows that its much different from a girls point of view.

 

[fan27]

At some point, the fear of missing out on an opportunity will become greater than the fear of taking a risk. Once you reach that state, you start taking chances. Mistakes will be made, but you can sense your attitude changing as you gain confidence in your ability to learn from your mistakes. More and more opportunies present themselves and you will find yourself asking for a girls number as if it was as easy as tying your shoe. At some point, you realise that you have transcended your old AFC self and are now a budding DJ. Congradulate yourself. The process has begun.

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Ice,
You couldn't be farther from the truth. Women don't salivate over young teenage boys with washboard stomachs and raging hormones the way men do about teenage women. Just because he is 21 don't mean squat. Very rare is it, that a 21 will be with a 27 year old women. Women just aren't gaga over young men the way older men are gaga over young girls. A 27 year old girl would rather be with a well established and financially secure 7 than some 21 year old college student thats a 9 or ten. Everyone here with experience knows that its much different from a girls point of view.

Okay, maybe you have had different experiences then me, so I will explain.

I am almost molested by older women (28+) all the time, I just turned 23, and I look very young. (People mistake me for being in high school ALL THE TIME!) It is very annoying, because they obviously only want me for one thing...SEX.

Of course the would want to BE with a well established guy, but they also want to BE F*CKED by the young crazy kid. (Not to young though!)

A point of view that is often LOST is that women want/are attracted to TWO different things. Just like guys like the sexy/semi-slutty woman AND the innocent/pretty girls, women like the young/pretty boy AND the strong/manly older guy.

Guys will want to f*ck the slut, but marry the sweet girl; girls want to use the young guy as a DILDO and BE with the older/mature guy.

You will probably never see an older woman with a younger guy, but you can be sure that she will LUST after him! If the guy WANTED he could have her, but I think that guys usually don't notice this seemingly blatant interest because they are used to dealing with girls that are...shall we say...'more coy'.

the tradeoff:

Women are strange, they will go after the feminine looking guy one day, and the masculine looking guy the next. I think that they have shown that woman are hornier, and seek the masculine looking (Russel Crowe, Vin Diesel, Schwarzenegger) type guys when they are in thier fertile stage, and they seek the more feminine looking (Brad Pitt, Boy-band guys, probably most people on this forum) type guys during thier less fertile stage.

Us less 'masculine' looking guys would have less of a chance of having a child in the ideal woman world, however, we would probably get more sex (albeit from LESS women.) Also, we are considered more attractive, AND we can make up for looking 'pretty' by the way we carry ourselves.

This can be found in real life also. There are guys that almost literally get raped by some chicks! Women have balls when they are horny, and many of them will grab the nearest football player and f*ck in a room somewhere. Lots of these guys may not even be particularly 'good looking', but they are most definitley masculine looking.

Other guys, though they may be good looking, seem to never get a break. They are teased and tormented by girls everywhere who lead them on and then abandon ship at the last minute. This is not to say that they don't get "raped" every now and then (it has even happened to me a few times) but usually, they have to do most of the chasing.

Of course, this subject opens up a GIANT can of worms (like how you ACT can be more important than how you LOOK) which I will not get into here, suffice to say that all the feminine looking guys just need to grow some nuts to even out the playing field.