Chicks Insist on Paying For Dates

[mackdaknife]

I've had an interesting run: the last half dozen girls or so I've dated all insisted on paying for the first date. We kind of just mutually decide we're going to do something together. It's not really clear who asked who.

One chick said, "I want to see movie x..." then paused. I asked her to the movie and of course she accepted.

Another asked me out to dinner, straight up.

Another one volunteered her number.

A couple others I just asked out straight up.

The thing is, I always try to pay, even if the girl asked. Yet regardless of whether I ask or she asks me out, my girl insists on paying. If I try to pay, my date/s get VERY upset. One nearly shrieked and pushed my money away! A couple of these girls apparently don't want to see me again.

It seems to put a damper on these girl's moods when I try to pay. What's your experience with this, and how do I turn the paying (her's or mine) into a non issue so I can chill and enjoy my date?

 

[wjh]

You could be an attractive guy. And/Or they may be tired of AFC's thinking that paying for dinner entitles them to something. They may find you attractive enough to spend some time with you, but hedge their AFC bets by paying for the first date. That's just one theory.

The only time I get girls paying for my meals is when they're desperate for my attention/time/affection like an AFC. And it's not just meals either, it can be clothes and gifts too.

Interesting thing though, if you want to speculate on a grander social "adjustment" is the other night, I went out to a local bar with a couple friends. While my buddies were outside beefing over something stupid I stepped away and approached a table of three girls. I asked plainly how their Valentine's Day went and they had the funniest reactions: "Screw VDAY! It's so stupid! Ugh!" - The reality I think, though, may be that they're just annoyed at not having any guys beaming over them. However the speculative bit I'm alluding to may be the outright objection to these traditional (normal) dating dynamics to the point where even first dates are an issue/concern with them. That's just a social hypothesis, though.

Regardless, I don't see it as that big of a deal. If they offer and it's all good and fun just enjoy it for what it is. If you're saying it puts a damper on a girl's mood by offering to pay, then stop offering! haha. Simple as that.

Then again, I still find it a bit too coincidental that more than one or two girls has done this to you in succession.

 

[mackdaknife]

I'm going to do a bit of speculating too. These girls are quite diverse in age, nationality, and so on. However, where they ARE similar is that all of them are high achievers: either going to a very good college OR successfully established in their careers. So it could be high achieving hot girls have too much pride to depend on a man financially.

If you are dating noone but strippers, then it could be a very different story! lol

 

[Jitterbug]

Most chicks I've dated either insist on or are cool with going halves on dates. It's fast becoming the norm among young people around here. I've also had chicks buying me drinks or food before. I'm completely cool with that. It's like friends shouting each other from time to time. I don't keep tabs, but I can return the favours later.

 

[SunnyD]

I offer every single time. Insist actually. And it doesn't necessarily mean I'm interested.

I could be very interested and feel like doing something nice and offer to pay. Show him I'm not out for his money.

OR...I could not be interested, and not LET him pay because I don't feel he should if I don't plan on going out with him again. Then he doesn't have to think "what did I spend money on that b^tch for?" and we part ways without bitterness on either side.

 

[ezily]

yeah maybe the girl is insisting on paying because she's not into you. It depends on how the date went but she could just be putting on a show. I've found that girls usually offer to pay and if they're interested they'll let the guy pay. I wouldn't take this as fact but even you said that you haven't seen a couple of these girls again. So I would bet this was the case with them at least.

but yeah, them paying for you isn't always a bad thing. It just depends how you spin it. When the check comes you can say, "thanks for paying" instead of having them offer to pay. This would be awesome and demonstrate a more funny and carefree attitude. It also gives you a chance to bust on them a little. These girls probably insisted on paying because they didn't want to feel obliged to do anything else with you. I mean how did the dates end after they paid? Have you met up with any these girls again or at least secured another date?

 

[ARrocket]

Dude....what are you complaining about? Of COURSE you should feel fortunate

 

[raiz]

This happens all the time to me. This is good behavior on the girl's part, and you need to reward her for good behavior, so that it will be repeated.

(when the check comes)
Her: Oh, I got it.
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Yeah totally, I'm having a great time!
Me: Well thank you sweetie! You're so awesome. That deserves a kiss.

(makeout)

When the check comes you can say, "thanks for paying" instead of having them offer to pay. This would be awesome and demonstrate a more funny and carefree attitude

Never do this, it's bad advice and cheesy.


P.S. - I've never been to these forums... they're very interesting...

 

[ezily]

This happens all the time to me. This is good behavior on the girl's part, and you need to reward her for good behavior, so that it will be repeated.

(when the check comes)
Her: Oh, I got it.
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Yeah totally, I'm having a great time!
Me: Well thank you sweetie! You're so awesome. That deserves a kiss.

(makeout)



Never do this, it's bad advice and cheesy.

Well IMO I wouldn't do or recommend to someone to do what you said. It just seems really lame and wussy to me.

And I don't even see a girl responding in that fashion.
"Her: Yeah totally, I'm having a great time!" :crackup:
And then you saying: "Well thank you sweetie! You're so awesome. That deserves a kiss." :crackup:
I mean come on. Is this realistic? But if it works for you go for it. Doing what I said wouldn't be 'cheesy' if you do it correctly, that is jokingly and she catches on. Seems more playful to me. I doubt she's expecting a guy to say that to her, thus it being funny. From my experience a girl insisting on paying no matter what is not a good sign. Going this route shows her you have a sense of humor. If she doesn't like it then just forget about her. She's too uptight.

Waiter: here's the check, sir. (leaves)
guy: hey thanks for paying. *serious tone but with an almost smirk*
her: *most likely an aghast smile*
guy: well, I just expected that you would pay... (go on from there, if you can't get her laughing that's sad on your part or she's just not a fun person to joke around with and be funny.)

 

[The Sperminator]

No it's probably because they are independent and don't want to look helpless. It's 2008 things are changing. Girls want to be treated as equals. If she wants to pay let her. It has nothing to do with her just wanting to be friends. Most girls I've noticed that have offer to pay are usually educated and able to provide for themselves. Paying for the girl is very tradional, it's the new age now. They want to prove to everyone that they are just as good as men.