squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
- 182
- Age
- 45
Why do even the Don Juans on this forum eventually come crawling in with a "WHY???" post? How is it we can have this wealth of knowledge on this forum and somehow we always end up with that special situation where we're suddenly trying to scheme a way to win over some hottie? Why do we keep falling into the same traps over and over again?
The answer is really simple...despite all the tips and tricks to emulate alpha-male behavior, despite getting in touch with our sexuality and becoming top-notch men, many of us STILL proceed from one basic notion. That notion is that eventually we are going to meet a girl who's DIFFERENT.
"Oh, she's not like the rest! She's no slut...she's a good girl. She's an upstanding, moral woman with a respectable personality. She doesn't flake...she holds true to her commitments. She wouldn't cheat on me. She doesn't demand attention, she isn't addicted to drama...she's DIFFERENT. She's a real keeper...how can I hang on to her? What do I need to do? What if she doesn't respond? Why is she not responding? What can I do to win her back? Why is she cheating on me? What should I do? HEEEEELLLPP!!!"
Repeat after me: ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.
From the cheap bar-troll you macked last weekend to that gorgeous independent woman who you're trying desperately to steal away and make your own, they ALL work on a common set of operating principles. We refer to it as "chick-logic".
As a result of "chick-logic", ALL women are slvts, ALL women are flakes, ALL women are cheaters, attention *****s, drama queens, etc, etc...the degree to which is determined by "chick-logic".
Now all women are capable of being androgynous, just as all men are, and often we act in that way in professional situations. But you're not looking for a business-partner...you're looking for a mate, f-buddy, girlfriend, or possibly a wife. Which means sooner or later, you are going to have to bring out the feminine qualities in her. And when you do, you WILL be exposed to "chick-logic".
What is "Chick-Logic"?
Chick-Logic is a misnomer, really, in the sense that it's really reverse-logic. The inherent principle behind chick-logic is this: Women do not think logically. They make decisions based on feelings and emotions. Chick-Logic is logic after the fact. Women make decisions and take actions based on what they're feeling...then, after the fact, they construct a logic-pattern which fits the way they felt or acted.
Let's give an example...suppose you got this girl's number last Friday night and you call her up Sunday and set up a date for Monday night. She agrees. You show up at the place where you two are supposed to meet and wait. And wait. And wait. A half-hour later you call her, no answer. You've just been stood up.
You see this as a violation of a verbal agreement. When she said "yes" to meeting you, to you, that represented a commitment to be at a certain place at a certain time. As a man, you have a sense of honor which sets certain rules for conduct. You see her failure to show as a violation of this honor construct.
What she sees is that she received a call from someone. She felt confused because she didn't recognize the number. Then when you identified yourself, she felt unsure because she didn't really remember much about you. Then she stacked you up against the three other guys who talked to her that night and her feelings weren't very intense for you. She agreed to a date because at the time she had nothign else planned, which made her feel very bored, and she figured that you would relieve the monotony. Then, around 5:30, her friend called, which made her feel relieved and happy. Her friend invited her to go out to some event, which made her feel excited. She then weighed this feeling of excitement with the feeling of nervous uncertainty she had about gonig out with you...and frankly, you lost out.
Then "chick-logic" kicks in. She will build from an assumption that you really don't care about her anyway. Or she will remember the flaws in your presentation and build an opinion that you are really not worth her time anyway. Or she'll create a moral evaluation that spending time with her friends is more important than "some guy she met in the bar". Or maybe she'll just decide to forget and justify it by saying she's got too much going on...or she was tired...or something else. Either way, you'll never get the REAL story.
There are all kinds of behaviors we "don't understand" because of the way we think about women:
-A woman will "cheat" on her man because of arousal or attraction and later excuse it by vilifying the man or pointing out the things in her life she believes she "deserves" that he isn't satisfying.
-A woman will flake on a date because of uncertainty or nervousness or other negative emotions and later justify it by claiming that she was busy, or that her other things have higher value than "some guy", etc...
-A woman will FIND a reason to demand attention.
-A woman will FIND a reason to start sh!t.
-A woman will FIND a reason to sleep with someone she just met.
You will NEVER "get it". So stop trying.
The Problem with Men
The problem with us as men is that we keep trying to UNDERSTAND women. We keep looking at chick-logic and making an assumption that it is the SOURCE of women's behavior, rather than a CONSEQUENCE of it. It just doesn't make sense, and we sit there wondering, "What is she THINKING??"
Of course, we've heard of chick-logic, but because of the one fairy-tale we can't shake out of our heads, that fairy-tale that each woman is a beautiful, unique snowflake with a wide variety of personalities and driving influences, we keep expecting every woman we meet, especially the ones who happen to catch our fancy, to be different.
We keep trying to appeal to them in terms of logical value. We say to ourselves, "I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm attractive, I'm considerate...why would any woman NOT want to date me?" If chick-logic makes an appearance in the objec! of our affection, we disregard it and assume that it's just interference that can be worked out.
What we're doing is trying to work AGAINST the woman's feminine nature. Beneath the chick-logic, there's this emotional ebb and flow that most men completely DISREGARD as an unfortunate side-effect of chick-logic. This is NOT a side-effect...this emotional rollercoaster is the ESSENCE of the female psyche and the SOURCE of chick-logic. You can change the way a woman thinks a thousand times over, but she will ALWAYS reconstruct what you put in place to fit with her emotions. Unless you can affect how she FEELS, you will continue to fail.
Look at the DJ repetoire:
-Why ****y-funny? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates feelings of inadequacy interlaced with playfulness and positive attitude. It creates a challenge.
-Why kino? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates sexual arousal, especially if she finds you attractive.
-Why tell stories and develop rapport? It plays on how she FEELS. By understanding her experience, you create an emotional connection that can't be created via a 20-questions style of approach.
-Why do all the best DJs tell you, "Ignore what a woman says, only pay attention to what she does?" Because what she says is controlled by how she thinks, which is based on chick-logic, but what she DOES is driven by how she FEELS.
This is why you cannot "lock a woman down", be it by marriage, social convention, or whatever...because such a contract is only as good as the honor system it's based on...and if a Don Juan can change how she FEELS, she will build chick-logic which bends or makes exceptions to that honor system.
You can't make music by studying how a guitar is crafted. You can't make music by beating a guitar against a rock. And you can jump from guitar to guitar and assume that each one has a different construction or sound and that sooner or later you'll find one that works for you, but they're ALL built the same and work on the same principles. You have to learn how to pick and strum...you need to learn the technique for PLAYING. And that takes practice and an ear for music.
Why am I using this analogy? Why do rockstars get all the women? A B-list musician can probably pull more hot tail than Bill Gates...why? Guys who are able to seduce multiple women are called "players"...why?
Because the way I described a guitar, the same thing goes for a woman. You will NEVER find a woman who relies on logic in matters of romance. You'll never be able to understand a woman by thinking and you'll never be able to hold on to a woman by reason. Doesn't matter WHAT woman...they are all the same. You need to learn to recognize her feelings, develop an "ear" for women, and then learn to generate those emotions within her to keep her "interest level" up. If you can generate good emotions in her, she will invent the chick-logic explaining why you are the best thing that ever happened to her. And she will do this ALL BY HERSELF.
Now you might be asking, "How do I learn to play"? Well...that's beyond the scope of THIS post. But I think you have an idea where to start.
The answer is really simple...despite all the tips and tricks to emulate alpha-male behavior, despite getting in touch with our sexuality and becoming top-notch men, many of us STILL proceed from one basic notion. That notion is that eventually we are going to meet a girl who's DIFFERENT.
"Oh, she's not like the rest! She's no slut...she's a good girl. She's an upstanding, moral woman with a respectable personality. She doesn't flake...she holds true to her commitments. She wouldn't cheat on me. She doesn't demand attention, she isn't addicted to drama...she's DIFFERENT. She's a real keeper...how can I hang on to her? What do I need to do? What if she doesn't respond? Why is she not responding? What can I do to win her back? Why is she cheating on me? What should I do? HEEEEELLLPP!!!"
Repeat after me: ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.
From the cheap bar-troll you macked last weekend to that gorgeous independent woman who you're trying desperately to steal away and make your own, they ALL work on a common set of operating principles. We refer to it as "chick-logic".
As a result of "chick-logic", ALL women are slvts, ALL women are flakes, ALL women are cheaters, attention *****s, drama queens, etc, etc...the degree to which is determined by "chick-logic".
Now all women are capable of being androgynous, just as all men are, and often we act in that way in professional situations. But you're not looking for a business-partner...you're looking for a mate, f-buddy, girlfriend, or possibly a wife. Which means sooner or later, you are going to have to bring out the feminine qualities in her. And when you do, you WILL be exposed to "chick-logic".
What is "Chick-Logic"?
Chick-Logic is a misnomer, really, in the sense that it's really reverse-logic. The inherent principle behind chick-logic is this: Women do not think logically. They make decisions based on feelings and emotions. Chick-Logic is logic after the fact. Women make decisions and take actions based on what they're feeling...then, after the fact, they construct a logic-pattern which fits the way they felt or acted.
Let's give an example...suppose you got this girl's number last Friday night and you call her up Sunday and set up a date for Monday night. She agrees. You show up at the place where you two are supposed to meet and wait. And wait. And wait. A half-hour later you call her, no answer. You've just been stood up.
You see this as a violation of a verbal agreement. When she said "yes" to meeting you, to you, that represented a commitment to be at a certain place at a certain time. As a man, you have a sense of honor which sets certain rules for conduct. You see her failure to show as a violation of this honor construct.
What she sees is that she received a call from someone. She felt confused because she didn't recognize the number. Then when you identified yourself, she felt unsure because she didn't really remember much about you. Then she stacked you up against the three other guys who talked to her that night and her feelings weren't very intense for you. She agreed to a date because at the time she had nothign else planned, which made her feel very bored, and she figured that you would relieve the monotony. Then, around 5:30, her friend called, which made her feel relieved and happy. Her friend invited her to go out to some event, which made her feel excited. She then weighed this feeling of excitement with the feeling of nervous uncertainty she had about gonig out with you...and frankly, you lost out.
Then "chick-logic" kicks in. She will build from an assumption that you really don't care about her anyway. Or she will remember the flaws in your presentation and build an opinion that you are really not worth her time anyway. Or she'll create a moral evaluation that spending time with her friends is more important than "some guy she met in the bar". Or maybe she'll just decide to forget and justify it by saying she's got too much going on...or she was tired...or something else. Either way, you'll never get the REAL story.
There are all kinds of behaviors we "don't understand" because of the way we think about women:
-A woman will "cheat" on her man because of arousal or attraction and later excuse it by vilifying the man or pointing out the things in her life she believes she "deserves" that he isn't satisfying.
-A woman will flake on a date because of uncertainty or nervousness or other negative emotions and later justify it by claiming that she was busy, or that her other things have higher value than "some guy", etc...
-A woman will FIND a reason to demand attention.
-A woman will FIND a reason to start sh!t.
-A woman will FIND a reason to sleep with someone she just met.
You will NEVER "get it". So stop trying.
The Problem with Men
The problem with us as men is that we keep trying to UNDERSTAND women. We keep looking at chick-logic and making an assumption that it is the SOURCE of women's behavior, rather than a CONSEQUENCE of it. It just doesn't make sense, and we sit there wondering, "What is she THINKING??"
Of course, we've heard of chick-logic, but because of the one fairy-tale we can't shake out of our heads, that fairy-tale that each woman is a beautiful, unique snowflake with a wide variety of personalities and driving influences, we keep expecting every woman we meet, especially the ones who happen to catch our fancy, to be different.
We keep trying to appeal to them in terms of logical value. We say to ourselves, "I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm attractive, I'm considerate...why would any woman NOT want to date me?" If chick-logic makes an appearance in the objec! of our affection, we disregard it and assume that it's just interference that can be worked out.
What we're doing is trying to work AGAINST the woman's feminine nature. Beneath the chick-logic, there's this emotional ebb and flow that most men completely DISREGARD as an unfortunate side-effect of chick-logic. This is NOT a side-effect...this emotional rollercoaster is the ESSENCE of the female psyche and the SOURCE of chick-logic. You can change the way a woman thinks a thousand times over, but she will ALWAYS reconstruct what you put in place to fit with her emotions. Unless you can affect how she FEELS, you will continue to fail.
Look at the DJ repetoire:
-Why ****y-funny? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates feelings of inadequacy interlaced with playfulness and positive attitude. It creates a challenge.
-Why kino? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates sexual arousal, especially if she finds you attractive.
-Why tell stories and develop rapport? It plays on how she FEELS. By understanding her experience, you create an emotional connection that can't be created via a 20-questions style of approach.
-Why do all the best DJs tell you, "Ignore what a woman says, only pay attention to what she does?" Because what she says is controlled by how she thinks, which is based on chick-logic, but what she DOES is driven by how she FEELS.
This is why you cannot "lock a woman down", be it by marriage, social convention, or whatever...because such a contract is only as good as the honor system it's based on...and if a Don Juan can change how she FEELS, she will build chick-logic which bends or makes exceptions to that honor system.
You can't make music by studying how a guitar is crafted. You can't make music by beating a guitar against a rock. And you can jump from guitar to guitar and assume that each one has a different construction or sound and that sooner or later you'll find one that works for you, but they're ALL built the same and work on the same principles. You have to learn how to pick and strum...you need to learn the technique for PLAYING. And that takes practice and an ear for music.
Why am I using this analogy? Why do rockstars get all the women? A B-list musician can probably pull more hot tail than Bill Gates...why? Guys who are able to seduce multiple women are called "players"...why?
Because the way I described a guitar, the same thing goes for a woman. You will NEVER find a woman who relies on logic in matters of romance. You'll never be able to understand a woman by thinking and you'll never be able to hold on to a woman by reason. Doesn't matter WHAT woman...they are all the same. You need to learn to recognize her feelings, develop an "ear" for women, and then learn to generate those emotions within her to keep her "interest level" up. If you can generate good emotions in her, she will invent the chick-logic explaining why you are the best thing that ever happened to her. And she will do this ALL BY HERSELF.
Now you might be asking, "How do I learn to play"? Well...that's beyond the scope of THIS post. But I think you have an idea where to start.
But, it IS TOTALLY TRUE. 100%! :crackup: