StockTrader
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2003
- Messages
- 157
- Reaction score
- 2
Tony Robbins has a great audio series "Lessons in Mastery" and he talks about the power of identity on the first tape.
When you tell yourself "I am shy"....that becomes your identity and everyone has a very powerful tendency to act consistently with their own identity. Be very careful about the words you put after the statement "I am". Those words will shape your life.
For example, there was a time in my life (elementary school), when I had a good social life, I had fun birthday parties, and I even talked to girls (but back then, girls weren't quite "Girls!" in my mind). In some ways, I had more confidence with girls in 3rd grade than I did in my first year in college. How does that happen??
My identity was one deciding factor. In elementary school, I think I identified myself as a normal kid. I wasn't "shy", I didn't spend alot of time analyzing things (like I did later on), I didn't give myself intricate labels like "avoidant personality disorder" or "socially anxious person".
Dig out some old photos of yourself and see how your identity has evolved. One photo I had forgotten about showed me with a group of friends outside an amusement park. We were doing these ridiculous and fun poses near the ticket area. Just acting goofy. Yet not caring what others thought about us!! Amazing, at that moment in my life, I didn't care what others thought about me. I could be a goofy 10 year old and be happy, yet 10 years later I'd get self conscious even going to the post office.
If you label yourself as "I am shy, I am depressed, I am lazy, etc", that's exactly what you'll be. But ask yourself...is that the essence of who you are? Is that really who you are, or are you capable of much more?
When you tell yourself "I am shy"....that becomes your identity and everyone has a very powerful tendency to act consistently with their own identity. Be very careful about the words you put after the statement "I am". Those words will shape your life.
For example, there was a time in my life (elementary school), when I had a good social life, I had fun birthday parties, and I even talked to girls (but back then, girls weren't quite "Girls!" in my mind). In some ways, I had more confidence with girls in 3rd grade than I did in my first year in college. How does that happen??
My identity was one deciding factor. In elementary school, I think I identified myself as a normal kid. I wasn't "shy", I didn't spend alot of time analyzing things (like I did later on), I didn't give myself intricate labels like "avoidant personality disorder" or "socially anxious person".
Dig out some old photos of yourself and see how your identity has evolved. One photo I had forgotten about showed me with a group of friends outside an amusement park. We were doing these ridiculous and fun poses near the ticket area. Just acting goofy. Yet not caring what others thought about us!! Amazing, at that moment in my life, I didn't care what others thought about me. I could be a goofy 10 year old and be happy, yet 10 years later I'd get self conscious even going to the post office.
If you label yourself as "I am shy, I am depressed, I am lazy, etc", that's exactly what you'll be. But ask yourself...is that the essence of who you are? Is that really who you are, or are you capable of much more?
