Fruitbat
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 3, 2013
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Long post guys but your perspectives welcomed if you can be bothered to read.
Something I’ve struggled with in my career. I work in a very dog eat dog field with a high percentage of dark triad - and I am not dark triad by nature.
I have learned sound techniques to deal with those who smear and intend to lower the social capital of others and I have successfully altered my persona to accommodate this. Mainly by protecting information and avoiding interactions with DT. They have moved on to someone else, I make it very hard for them now.
the issue I get is with those with authority.
my modus operandi is to never show weakness and fight fire with fire. I used to turn the other cheek but I now know you have to fight. However, you have to be careful fighting as if you do, your reactions will be used against you, so you have to be somewhat unpredictable and never overtly hostile.
I have a guy who is senior to me who is hostile. He is aggressive and won’t let up.
If he was my contemporary I would square up the guy, but I can’t. I’ve therefore kept a ton of evidence of it (he is sloppy, I have email chains of him being rude and toxic)
the reason he is this way is the rest of the team kind of submit to him and I won’t. I know I am more intelligent and competent. He is where he is to large extent because he’s a bully.
So I either have to submit to this guy, which I won’t do, or leave, or fight.
This guy might be promoted to my boss. This presents a massive issue for me.
At this point I will consider leaving but I don’t want to. He wins. I am very good at my job and the whole beef is because he can’t handle the ego injuries I’ve given him by being my own man and not just agreeing with him.
So, how do you deal with guys senior to you with toxic traits?
My country has a lot of worker protections. If this guy is made my boss I can raise the evidence with HR and say basically this guy isn’t going to give me a break. I have email trails with him using sexual swear words against me essentially. The only issue is he has cronies in the team who will back him because he’s senior and they think they’ll get rewards.
I don’t want to leave this job but soon I may either have to leave or fight, and none of this is due to my performance, it’s purely personal beef and companies making the mistake of internal promotions
is it worth fighting with HR? I could potentially stop the guy getting the job if he’s on record abusing staff he’s about to manage.
I believe there is absolutely no chance of mediation. If I left and got a new job, do you think I could get constructive dismissal if they allowed it to happen?
I don’t want to leave the job and if I have to, I need to be redressed.
or would the court case make me unemployable - do new employees automatically assume you’re a problem employee?
Something I’ve struggled with in my career. I work in a very dog eat dog field with a high percentage of dark triad - and I am not dark triad by nature.
I have learned sound techniques to deal with those who smear and intend to lower the social capital of others and I have successfully altered my persona to accommodate this. Mainly by protecting information and avoiding interactions with DT. They have moved on to someone else, I make it very hard for them now.
the issue I get is with those with authority.
my modus operandi is to never show weakness and fight fire with fire. I used to turn the other cheek but I now know you have to fight. However, you have to be careful fighting as if you do, your reactions will be used against you, so you have to be somewhat unpredictable and never overtly hostile.
I have a guy who is senior to me who is hostile. He is aggressive and won’t let up.
If he was my contemporary I would square up the guy, but I can’t. I’ve therefore kept a ton of evidence of it (he is sloppy, I have email chains of him being rude and toxic)
the reason he is this way is the rest of the team kind of submit to him and I won’t. I know I am more intelligent and competent. He is where he is to large extent because he’s a bully.
So I either have to submit to this guy, which I won’t do, or leave, or fight.
This guy might be promoted to my boss. This presents a massive issue for me.
At this point I will consider leaving but I don’t want to. He wins. I am very good at my job and the whole beef is because he can’t handle the ego injuries I’ve given him by being my own man and not just agreeing with him.
So, how do you deal with guys senior to you with toxic traits?
My country has a lot of worker protections. If this guy is made my boss I can raise the evidence with HR and say basically this guy isn’t going to give me a break. I have email trails with him using sexual swear words against me essentially. The only issue is he has cronies in the team who will back him because he’s senior and they think they’ll get rewards.
I don’t want to leave this job but soon I may either have to leave or fight, and none of this is due to my performance, it’s purely personal beef and companies making the mistake of internal promotions
is it worth fighting with HR? I could potentially stop the guy getting the job if he’s on record abusing staff he’s about to manage.
I believe there is absolutely no chance of mediation. If I left and got a new job, do you think I could get constructive dismissal if they allowed it to happen?
I don’t want to leave the job and if I have to, I need to be redressed.
or would the court case make me unemployable - do new employees automatically assume you’re a problem employee?