Car broke down on date.

[Jack Hensy]

I agreed to meet this girl who lived two hours away --- halfway at a sportsbar between two cities.
I have two cars and couldn't decide which one to take. I took the Camry.

I was hesitant to meet her, but she nagged me for a month to meet her since she was in the mood. lol
I drove halfway to meet her and suddenly my car sputters out and dies in the middle of nowhere in a farmland area at 8pm. It was dark, I was stranded, and in a survival situation. I finally texted the girl and said..."Can't make it tonight, car broke down." She freaked out and decided to come find me which was like finding a needle in a haystack since I was somewhere in a cornfield area. Every farm house was 1 mile apart. The nearest gas station was 20 miles away. It was below 30 degrees out. My phone was going dead.
I finally stumbled upon a farm house where a guy was working in his garage. He froze when he saw me. I said ...my car broke down a mile up the road and need to get a tow truck. He immediately helped me.

My date ended up finding me(ironically) on the side of road at this farm house. I half frozen walking along a cornfield.
She was nice enough to drive me all the way back home. an hour away.
The least I could do was buy her dinner. (I never buy dinners on first dates)I knew if I did that there would be no sex. But I didn't care because she saved my life.

Then we went out for drinks afterwards and for some reason we hit off and....then we didn't. I kept thinking about my car and how much it was going to cost me so my game was so off.

I'm sitting at the bar enjoying my drink. She said she was to get a smoke outside and would wait for me in the car. I knew something was not right.
I went out to the parking lot to meet her 10 min later. I decided to escalate and call her out.
I started asking her about those dirty texts she sent me, being in the mood, etc and of course she said ...what? What are you talking about? I finally said..do you want me to show you the texts you sent me?? I said "this date is a bust and there is no attraction." I appreciate you giving me a ride home though. She said you are not interested? I said in dating? She said I live two hours away.
She pulled up to my driveway and I said ....you want to get laid tonight?
She said ..."no sorry".
Sorry for what?
I got out of her car and I got into my other car and drove to a bar to relax. The chick totally played me. I hate girls who pull the "sex trump card out" and don't produce when we meet.

However, not all was lost. I ran into another chick who I had been sexing for a month.( i was not into her though). Anyway, she drags me into a coat closet at this bar where we started kissing. She proceeded to give me a BJ but I was not in the mood and was not into her. So I left her and told her to go have fun and flirt with other guys. Ironically, she still texts me today.(no surprise)

Anyway, the whole night was a disaster. What would have you guys done if you car breaks down half way to a date? Why does a chick beg you meet them and promise sex and then dont put out? If my car didn't break down I would have gamed her easily? But when survival is on the line, game is off.
I'm not calling her or texting her obviously. Maybe send her something ****y or arrogant.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Tbh, I would have canceled the date and called it a night once she picked you up. Chick went out of her way to find you and pick you up, that's a good one...but here's the kicker- you showed your hand and didn't respond with a selfish mindset.

Had you canceled the date, it would actually show her you know where your responsibilities lie and subconsciously showed her your abundance mentality. You going out with the chick while your car is stranded basically told her you wanted her more than yourself. Always lean on the side of selfishness with females and let them know what you having going on is more important than them. Sprinkle in every now and then that you are thinking of them, but man...your whip was priority number one that night...not her.

Think of what she did backwards in relation to you. She acted like a female who dropped her life to help you...and THATS WHAT THEY WANT.

That's my opinion

 

[fastlife]

Bro...you can't just verbalize, "You gonna **** me or not?" Regardless of what she's been texting you--all about maintaining plausible deniability on her part and 'letting things happen.' Guys that are used to sex happening never have to come out and say it's gonna happen or show her text messages to prove she wants it to happen (she did want it to happen).

I would've just 'been too tired' to go out to eat, 'But we can grab takeout and chill at the house--I owe you dinner for driving all that way.' And escalate from there with the knowledge that sex was inevitable.

Maybe send her an apology or a thank you lol--but probably send her nothing. Quit being an entitled weirdo and you won't shoot yourself in the foot on an easy lay.

Edit--Google '**** Up Avoidance Game.' All of your posts I've read scream for it--you generate attraction and then do way too much

 

[kenpiffyjr]

@fastlife

I actually like his entitled mindset. THAT IS the key to women. His issue is that he verbalized it. So I'm with you "I'll show you text" and all that stuff is female tendencies. You're a MAN. F the text...I believe what I say to a female no matter what evidence is out there.

I personally would have let her drop me back off at the crib and thanked her for her generosity and just said I'll hit you up to reschedule. I wouldn't pay for her food or anything. She offered! Stick to your personal guidelines and your frame at all times...Bending your frame is after a very very long time of support being shown, and even then youre bending them for your personal reasons, not because out an outcome.

A guy will never lose a woman for being too selfish. The moment you hear a woman complain about your selfishness is the moment you have her.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Also another thing about your entitled mindset. Keep that sh*t man. Don't detour from that because in this world it will actually push you forward.

The clear error is that your frame with that is wishy washy. Treat all these chicks like the chick in the closet. That's the reason for the inconsistent results. Stay consistent with your frame. You are right there man

 

[Skyline]

The second you started talking about the dirty texts is where you'll never see this girl again began. Attraction, and overall a good vibe, was already low so you decided to let your insecurities out.

"You sent me 'x' and 'x,' that means you MUST like me!"

I'm not saying she wasn't interested in you but she wasn't interested at that moment in time. That's when her attraction started to lower, the second you sense her attraction is dropping you should end the date to prevent any further, or possible, damage.

The best thing to have done was to make up some fake story about your insurance company calling you about your car and have her take you home.

You screwed this one up yourself.

 

[fastlife]

@kenpiffyjr

I'll make a distinction: Selfishness is internalized; it's taking what you want on your terms for your benefit. Entitlement is expecting others to act in some way to validate an unformed view of yourself without taking action--and getting butt hurt when people don't perform in expected ways. Selfishness is healthy and alleviates frustration. Entitlement is unhealthy and leads to frustration.

You could argue I'm talking semantics--so skip that for a minute. Basically, OP doesn't have frame and doesn't have game.

And skip dinner. For me if a guy friend, if a stranger, if a female drives 4 hours roundtrip to pick me up from the side of the road, I'm offering dinner. That's who I am. I reward desired behavior--has nothing to do with pandering for me. If you wouldn't buy a guy friend or a stranger dinner, if that's not you; by all means don't.

But the end goal in this scenario is making sex happen, no? My frame is that a girl wants me to make that happen--that's my responsibility as a man--so get her azz to the house instead of trying to negotiate desire at some bar.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Thanks for all the great posts fellows. I am rereading a lot of them. I need frame and better game.

What exactly is the best mind set for frame? Is it know exactly what you are doing? Controlling the situation?
The selfishness only works when I am not into a girl. Its hard to be selfish when you want to nail a chick.
The entitlement part it is hit or miss---sometimes it works for me other times not.

I need to study frame. Selfishness is something I have and am very aware that it exists in me naturally. Self entitlement definitely.

Anyone want to give me a correct definition of having the best frame mindset?

 

[kenpiffyjr]

I'm with you if you're making a distinction like that. I'm thinking of having entitlement without the butt hurt. To me his downfall wasn't his entitlement (for my definition), but clearly his frustration with it. But like I said, we're on the same page if you think frustration is handcuffed with entitlement.

Let's rehash his date in what would have been the optimum decision.

1. Car breaks down.
2. Call the chick and calmly tell her your cars broken down
3. She offers to come find you and pick you up.
4. Tell her that it's ok as you will find a solution
5. She says it's no problem. I'll come.
6. Now you agree. Give her as much detailed information as possible.
7. She finds you and takes you home
8. Tell her thanks and that you will hit her up soon to reschedule...as you need to concentrate on handling your business

The elephant in the room is the lost attraction. Skyline picked up on it, but YES...I believe the thought of his car being stranded and him offering to get Chinese at the crib/****ing her with this **** going on is a sign of a poor abundance mentality. I honestly believe that was what quickly changed her tune. Like "this guy is really out here drinking with me and his car is on the side of the road?" Or for the stay home example: "this guy is really trying to do me while his car is stranded? I must be special. I don't want to feel special. He must not have other women." Females DO think like that. Women value confidence and patience. His mentality of wanting to bone her that night would have shown up whether he was at the bar or at his home and it would have been a turn off to any quality woman.

You can offer your Bros/stranger a gift for their service...they believe your gift is a serious nSa offer. females that you're persuing are waaaaay different. They are analyzing...especially on a first outing...everything about you. Patience to know that he would live another day would have been his best option. He showed his hand and came off too desperate.

 

[Jack Hensy]

never show your hand?

 

[fastlife]

The elephant in the room is the lost attraction. Skyline picked up on it, but YES...I believe the thought of his car being stranded and him offering to get Chinese at the crib/****ing her with this **** going on is a sign of a poor abundance mentality.

Abundance mentality has nothing to do with the fact that she's the only girl in his driveway and he (obviously) felt like getting laid that night. The car doesn't change anything--he even admits to having a second car. Not escalating because you're worried about a girl thinking you don't have abundance is the definition of scarcity. If you want to sleep with that girl however many other girls you have on speed dial is irrelevant. It's an excuse, an ego buffer; always, always escalate--unless you don't won't to sleep with her.

I honestly believe that was what quickly changed her tune. Like "this guy is really out here drinking with me and his car is on the side of the road?" Or for the stay home example: "this guy is really trying to do me while his car is stranded? I must be special. I don't want to feel special. He must not have other women." Females DO think like that. Women value confidence and patience. His mentality of wanting to bone her that night would have shown up whether he was at the bar or at his home and it would have been a turn off to any quality woman.

Disagreed. She was thinking, Damn, this really attractive dude who I drove 4 hours for isn't going to make sex happen--we're just going to goof off at a bar all night. He must not want me.

Then OP showed his hand and basically said: Dammit, I'm not the guy who makes sex happen. Bu-bu-butt you said..., which automatically made him unattractive and cemented her impression.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@Jack Hensy you're right up there with @ia1v1chem as the most frustrating people to read on this forum--you'd probably both do well to read over each other's post (it might help you approach your own problems more objectively)--because y'all both run into the same problems over and over and over.

Both of you need to:
1. Stop thinking so goddamn much.
2. Stop talking so goddamn much.
3. Isolate.
4. Escalate until sex happens or she leaves.

Seriously, both of you have no problem generating attraction (which is the hard part)--you get girls hanging out with you (which is the hard part). Y'all are getting an open pass on the fast break and standing under the basket and not taking the shot and asking us, "Well, why didn't I make that basket? Should I have done a crossover?" No lay the basketball up in the goddamn hoop.

Frame is your perception of reality (which you don't have--since you're always overanalyzing other people's behavior). Game is the ability to get people to buy into your reality (which you can't do since you're frame is so weak).

My frame is "Everybody loves me and every girl wants to sleep with me." Is that true objectively? No. Some people hate me and some girls are on their periods. But will a girl rejecting me change my perception of myself? No. I'll be just as awesome if she stops responding to my texts as I was when I woke up that morning. That's frame: self-belief.

If I'm at a bar or on a date or anywhere else talking to a girl, my game is asking her questions about herself and calling bullsh1t on anything she says I don't agree with. Really the only important part is keeping eye contact and kino-ing when appropriate. But remember my frame? All I have to do is overpower her reality with mine, which, since most girls have very little frame and want a frame to buy into anyway, doesn't take much effort. Think something like this:

[Insert 15 minutes of pointless conversation]
fastlife: "You seem cool. Why are you single?"
Her: "Blah blah blah--I can't find any good guys--blah blah blah."
fastlife: "You really believe that?"
Her: "Blah blah blah my exbf was such a douche. He cheated on me--I mean, he was talking to girls right in front of me."
fastlife: "You loved it."
Her: "I just don't understand why guys can't do blah blah blah."
fastlife: "Kiss me."
Her: [most girls'll do it, some will object--"Not here," etc.]
fastlife: "Come [taking her arm]. You have to see my car. It's super dope." [fastlife's car is a piece of ****]
Her: "Where are we going?"
fastlife: "To see the world." [the world being a secluding parking lot]
Her: "Why are we here?"
fastlife: [escalate]
(Disclaimer--obviously you get her consent at some point (I always let her take her own damn pants off); I'm assuming you can read when someone's into it or when you should back off a little, etc., but assume she wants it until she makes it clear she doesn't).

That simple. I've literally invited girls back to my house to look at my high school yearbook (seriously). Buy a goldfish they have to meet. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to be logical. Isolate and escalate. Isolate and escalate. Shut up. Stop thinking. Isolate and escalate.

 

[Jack Hensy]

fastlife that's GOLD. Im saving your post. Best frame mindset ever.

Isolate and escalate.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Buy a goldfish they have to meet. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to be logical. Isolate and escalate. Isolate and escalate. Shut up. Stop thinking. Isolate and escalate.

The "Buy a goldfish they have to meet," suggestion made me laugh so hard and laugh even harder because I know it could work. Fantastic post all the way through.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

@fastlife

I agree with what you're saying but I never said that he's thinking about how she feels about his lack of abundance.

Basically what he was putting out in the air was that. To me...him having a second car is irrelevant. He said in his OP that his game was off because he kept thinking about his car. I swear to you...THAT is what threw her off. His vibe was that his car issues was actually important but he was there with her. He put her in front of his needs. OP lacked selfishness and that in turn showed her a lack of abundance. Being unselfish/too nice/showing priority #1 attention with women goes hand in hand with lack of abundance.

If the car wasn't important...I agree attack attack attack. It would be like losing a nickel on the side of the road. Not even a homeless man cares about losing a nickel.

Her thought process could be what was In your quoted lines but his head was somewhere else. All I am preaching is that he should have remained selfish and followed where his head was at. No car issues and I see this story going a totally different way.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

The reason I am saying this is because I have been in the exact same predicament kinda.

One night I was downtown with a broad and we got drunk. We both were driving our own cars and in midst of a drink I mentioned getting a room downtown to save the risk of a DUi (it also put it in the air that I wanted to smash).

Anyway - within the hotel parking garage there were pillars set up in between a turn and I basically scraped the side of my car really hard.

SOBER me...would have ejected and just went home. My car > smashing this broad. She would have respected it and actually admired me putting my stuff above her wants that night. I would have lived another day, fixed my car, and smashed her at later day. I KNOW this in my head. I swear this is covert information coming off as abundance.

But I was drunk and NOT ONCE do I remember ever giving a damn about my car lol. Had I sulked and freaked out...it would have been game over not because I still wouldnt wanna do her...but women are like Children ALWAYS looking at your response to things. She would have ejected mentally because my head was somewhere else yet still showing her attention. But I didn't think about my car at all and Needless to say, I broke her back out that night but woke up sh**ty.