Can't talk to girls even with a gun pointed to my head.

[Dj Tiesto]

I don't know whats happening, I don't know how to change.

I want to do it, but just can't.
I changed my physical look, started going to the gym, I dress better; feel more confident. Consequently, I get more attention from women and much more eye contact. The problem is that I can't initiate a convo, u can call it shyness or whatever u want.

There's just this barrier in my head which prevents me from talking to girls, no matter what I do or how I try to change myself, I still can't overcome it and force myself to do it. IT's like I'm missing this part of my brain and it is just not acquirable.

I did the bootcamp once but the results weren't impressive, the whole expereince was way too abstract.

I'm gonna be 22 soon, and still no gf or any real experience with a girl in a sober state.

I'm fuccking freakin out here, about to lose my mind cuz it bothers me too much. What do I do to change? How come nothing will click in my brain?

FCUK THIS $HIT.

Sorry, needed to vent.

 

[Dirtheart]

From your post it looks like you're very worked up about it and I'd guess that's your biggest problem. Maybe you are placing too much emphasis on making a conversation instead of small talk, and feel like you have to be clever, witty or smooth.

Just relax.

 

[dillin]

Do you really think every guy who has a girlfriend is a DJ? HELL NO!

Even guys who are total chumps can get a g/f, having a girlfriend is not like some holy grail or anything it's not that great.

When you go out try to make eye contact with girls then after you can do that start to give them a little smile and then after that smile and just say hi. Trust me, they wont just ignore you or anything they always will say hi but just do it casually.

The key to this is don't put any pressure on yourself, your there to have fun no matter what. I used to have the same problem as you but I got over it. The thing is your putting so much pressure on yourself like "omg I have to talk to a girl!" just stop doing that and have fun and you will be amazed how easily a conversation can start and flow once you take the pressure off and learn to live life by yourself and have fun.

Try practicing on girls who work at stores, when your at the counter just make small talk with the girl working there. Try going to places where you know theres going to be cute girls like at Ambercrombi or something no matter if you like the store or not you just know the girls arent going to laugh at you by making small talk.

 

[Oxide]

ok. follow this and u will overcome this barrier

You see a girl. Anywhere close to you. YOu say hi and smile. If she gives you positive feedback, you ask her for her name and go into a regular small talk. Dont hit on her. Just talk.

Do this 30-40-50-10000 times and u will talk to girls. The girls who u wanna get with it will still be hard to talk to them at first, but u will overcome that by practicing.


seriously dude, just talk to everyone you see...guys..girls... no joke it helps.

 

[mrExtreme]

Listen to Oxide. He knows what he's talking about.

 

[smooth666]

You are JUST 21/22,so take the chill pill!!!!
You got the right mind frame,dude,I really like it.
You know where you need to work on. So you have plenty of time to get to your goal.

Take it easy,as I have said you ARE JUST 22 y/o.

Go slowly step by step. Make a plan for yourself to get more confident and skilled by age 23. So you have one year to become master dj.
Just say "Hi" once in while to a girl! Take it easy do not go for # numbers, just get used to it.

Go step by step!!!!

Take care, Dude!

 

[Dj Tiesto]

Well, I'll say one thing:

something in by brain hinders me from approaching women.

I'm not going to wait another year to talk to women, I waited for as long as I became conscious of my life.

Same time, I can't do $****. Totally AFC.
I was in a club with my buddy the past week and there was this chick and I gave her a glance and smiled, she smiled back even more. Its just was a very clumsy experience and I felt weird and basically ignored her and moved some place else (wtf?)

How can I force myself to say "HI" and smile? Its so unfamiliar to me. I know that there are no shortcuts and no confidence injection pill (hell with booze and pot). So yeah, forcing myself is the only thing..

BUT WHAT THE FCUK DO I DO IF APPROACHING A GIRL IS LIKE GOING OUTSIDE NAKED??? THATS HOW I FCUKING FEEL.

And I've been constantly trying to convince myself to approach for the past 3 years. FCUK THIS.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Hang out with your buds and have only 'group' encounters - so the focus is not solely on you. Join an astronomy or an artsy club and talk to girls who have the same interests as you!!

 

[Gonzalo]

I guess you dont necessarily have to do the "hi+smile" combo. It's not every guy's style, ad could make some guys look just out of place. I mean, imagie the Sean Connery-Bond going to every girl and being "HI ". Not even if he were 14...

So what I'm saying is, look at yourself in a mirror (literally) and try to see what expressions make you look more manly + less threatening, cause thats what the HI really wats to convey. There are multiple paths, and everyone's different so you need to do your homework in this one and see what works best for you. Hell I've seen guys frown and say g'morning (like "I'm polite but I don't take ****) ad have girls be impressed by their style (classy IMO).

So, what was the topic here...? oh yeah, if you want to be able to talk to girls and right ow you can't, DO IT, I mean, you want to break the habit of being shy ad replce it with the habit of being outgoing with strangers. But you can't create a habit out of reading posts online, you actually need to go through the motions (even if at first it's uncomfortable... we're talkig about "creating" a new habit, why the hell should it feel right at first?). Good luck guy, may of us here have been in your shoes. G

 

[dillin]

go walking around your neighborhood and when you see and old or ugly women smile and say hi to her, it gets easier after this.