can't take this anymore!

[Lateralus]

Two years I have been single after a looong LTR. These were great times with lots of partying and friends and I dated quite some women but nothing very special. Recently I fell in love with someone, dated and we started a relationship. But this new girlfriend already had planned this trip: a one month journey through Indonesia... ALONE! She said she would find some people there to travel with. It bothered me a little but now my new girlfriend is gone for a few days now I'm getting truly paranoid! It ****ing kills me, I hate it and somehow wish I had never started this ****. Before she left she said she is really into me and can be fully trusted and I should have nothing to worry about and is not someone who would **** around while traveling. But I have this terrible feeling in my gut and don't trust this at all... I almost consider to preventively end this ****. How should I handle this situation? I feel like shyt! Thanks (she is 25 and very pretty)

 

[Lateralus]

It is also important to add that the day I brought her to the airport, we had a huge fight about a small issue (missing the bus), caused by her. Fights started when I asked to be my girlfriend like 'officially', it somehow changed her behaviour to being more demanding
and she started to get upset more often. She exploded that day and the way she treated me left me with doubt.. Is she BPD? Is she crazy/evil but thinks she can get away with it because she is quite hot?

Last two days she initiated fights on whatsapp, and I just desperately tried to lead things in the right direction. She knows I'm worried about her being there, that's for sure. I think when she acts like a ***** again I should not be affraid to ignore her or tell her that I will not tolerate this behaviour even when she is so far away alone.

 

[MikeOck]

Jealousy and mistrust are self fulfilling emotions, they cause you to change they way you treat your woman which in turn dramatically increases the chances that she will do the things you fear most.

It sounds like you need to work on your inner game. Believe in yourself, remember that you are the prize, trust her until she proves that she isn't worthy of it. You can't stop someone from cheating, but you can certainly increase the chances that they will cheat by acting jealous and insecure.

 

[Zarky]

Bang a bunch of b*tches while she's gone. Then who cares what she does while she's there?

One point: make sure you rubber up when she gets back until she's gotten a full-panel STD test run, because disease is rampant in that part of the world. And we're talking bad, bad diseases.

 

[( . )( . )]

Bang a bunch of b*tches while she's gone. Then who cares what she does while she's there?

Holy sh!t Zarky I did a double take. No red pill shaming, no puzzy pedestalization, no POF worship. Where's the SS fainting couch.

Was that so hard?

 

[CaliMan007]

Did she ever bother asking if you wanted to go on the trip with her?

The best way to truly know someone is to travel with them. I've learned this from personal experience! If you don't travel well together, your relationship is doomed for failure.

 

[sodbuster]

PROBABLY picking fights with you so she has a REASON to screw someone else... That's the way they work.

 

[Slickster]

Years ago I had a similar experience. My LTR went to Greece for 6 weeks. I had no reason not to trust her but at the same time I couldn't help feeling that the relationship was over the moment she left.

I treated the situation as a break up even though we "planned" on reuniting when she got back. She tried contacting me a few times but I made myself unavailable. (No contact). She missed me so much and was so worried that things were over she ended up cutting her trip short and racing home to me.

Now I certainly didn't plan on that happening but she definitely wouldn't have done that if I was home acting jealous and concerned.

Its unrealistic to expect a relationship between two people in their 20's to be written in stone. Don't take these relationships too seriously. Learn to go with the flow and have fun. Keep your options open always.

It is VERY important to note that if your girl had high enough interest in you AND felt like she might lose you, she never would've gone on this trip in the first place.

Actions always speak louder than words. Her going on this trip tells me she knows exactly where she stands in this relationship.

Take this time while she is away to have as much fun as possible.

 

[evan12]

Fights started when I asked to be my girlfriend like 'officially', it somehow changed her behaviour to being more demanding
and she started to get upset more often. She exploded that day and the way she treated me left me with doubt.. Is she BPD? Is she crazy/evil but thinks she can get away with it because she is quite hot?

women fights when they are not happy in that situation , it seem wanting to be official was only your desire not her. and it is very clear , while she want to be more distant from you , you are trying to make it more official, I think it is game over .

 

[Die Hard]

It is also important to add that the day I brought her to the airport, we had a huge fight about a small issue (missing the bus), caused by her. Fights started when I asked to be my girlfriend like 'officially', it somehow changed her behaviour to being more demanding
and she started to get upset more often. She exploded that day and the way she treated me left me with doubt.. Is she BPD? Is she crazy/evil but thinks she can get away with it because she is quite hot?

Last two days she initiated fights on whatsapp, and I just desperately tried to lead things in the right direction. She knows I'm worried about her being there, that's for sure. I think when she acts like a ***** again I should not be affraid to ignore her or tell her that I will not tolerate this behaviour even when she is so far away alone.

To be honest, your situation seems lost regardless of whether she went on this trip or not.

Fights started when I asked to be my girlfriend like 'officially', it somehow changed her behaviour to being more demanding
and she started to get upset more often.

Bad move... The one who needs the other the least, holds the frame. You gave the frame up when you asked her to be official.

Last two days she initiated fights on whatsapp, and I just desperately tried to lead things in the right direction. She knows I'm worried about her being there, that's for sure.

More of the same... SHE initiates a fight and then YOU try to fix it, because you need her and don't want to be in a fight with her. SHE doesn't care, however! So she's in control and can control you like a puppet on a string...

Setting boundaries and protecting them is imperative in any relationship.
When she creates negativity, you should hold her accountable for it and put her in her place! SHE created the fight, so SHE is responsible for it and SHE is responsible for fixing it. You have to PUT that responsibility on her, you have to MAKE her own it, you have to hold her responsible for her actions! Instead, you just decided to take the responsibility away from her and made it YOURS, trying to fix the fight FOR her.
That a huge display of weakness... And when a man acts weak to a woman, she will reward him with disrespect.

In other words, it's quite obvious that she controls the frame in this relationship and therefor she doesn't respect you enough to be faithful to you. This holds true regardles of whether she went on the trip or not. But she is out there on that trip and she will come in contact with guys who'll try to game her. And if one of them is handsome and knows his game, there is nothing keeping her from fvcking him. Like I said, she doesn't respect you enough to be faithful to you...

So cut your emotional ties to this girl and accept your loss. Just learn from it and don't repeat the same mistake with the next girl. If you're gonna get into a relationship with anyone, you need to make sure that you control the frame and that you need her less than she needs you. Game on...