Can you restore High interest level?

[Coolage]

Hey Guys,

Its been a long time since I posted here. I don't know why I ever stopped posting here. I looked over the site and it is still full of helpful info.

Here's the question:
Do you think you can restore a high interest level and how?


My individual story:
I knew that this pretty hot chick had a thing for me (always touching me, kissing my cheek, etc). I was dating someone else so in my mind she was a backup plan. So my relationship goes awry and I call this other girl. We go out twice and then bam she did not return phone calls. I find out that a girl I knew (who has had a crush on me) met this girl and exchanged words with her the day after we set up a date. Don't know what was said. (she wouldn't have even have known who the girl was if an idiot who happenned to see us together hadn't said anything.)

The question is can one recover in such a situation?

My advice I usually would give would be to keep the number but move on. Maybe later call one last time. If no, delete.

can anything else be done?

Thanks for any advice

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Coolage
So my relationship goes awry and I call this other girl.
...
My advice I usually would give would be to keep the number but move on.

1) Remember challenge, you are no longer a challenge (from what you have said)
2) Move on. I know you wont, and some way will try to contact her. But still, move on as much as you can. Become a challenge again. While being a challenge, you are looking at new opportunities.

 

[Coolage]

I know that I should move on and it doesn't make that much of a difference to me but I wanted to prove to myself that I could raise her interest level. It would be better if I held my pride and
and just moved on.

 

[TesuqueRed]

I know that "prove to myself" urge. Forget it. All you're doing is proving to yourself on some standard of worth that really doesn't prove anything.

Deeper standard: go for what you want. If you don't want her, what's the point of proving something off her?

What you really want is not her, but to prove how much of a DJ or how attractive you are. This is a DJ's version of a chick who gets caught in the attention-wh0re cycle---proving she is attractive, can get guys, wanted/desired more than other girls around them, etc.

Don't even bother starting up this game. Cut it short and ask "what do I want???" Keep it simple and straightforward, then go for it. Stick to business. Women find this far more attractive than anything you think you need to prove to yourself.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Coolage
I know that I should move on and it doesn't make that much of a difference to me but I wanted to prove to myself that I could raise her interest level. It would be better if I held my pride and
and just moved on.

Deja Vu.

I'm going through the same thing...last weekend I was going out to bars trying to hit on girls, just to PROVE to MYSELF that I was sexually worthy.

Think about this for a second...trying to prove your sexual worthiness to YOURSELF. Reeks of insecurity and desperation, and women can see it.

There's this one girl I ALMOST got lucky with, but looking back on it, I AFC'ed out at the last second...then her best friend died the day I asked her out and we kinda stopped talking after that. Recently, I've been hoping I could re-kindle something there...but that puts her in charge. I ended up hinging my self-worth on her feelings and responses to me. Even though I'm trying to prove to MYSELF that I can "get her," I'm still giving her control of my self-worth.

You KNOW that you're worthy, that you're good enough. You know your strengths and you use them, you know your faults and you fix them.

You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself. You just need to believe. So much these days is based on rational proof, but it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're not sure that something is true and feel a need to prove it, other people will see that you're unsure and will assume it's because you aren't worthy. So they reject you and you end up justifying your own doubts.

Not all women are going to be a match for you, but just because a girl doesn't like you or doesn't want to be with you doesn't make you any less of a man. MAN is something we're BORN with...it's something society has spent eternity trying to take away from us in the interests of order and control. But they can't.

 

[Mazman]

It's kinda hard for you to raise her interest level if she doesn't even return your calls.

The only thing you can do is do nothing.

If I were you, I would just move on.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Mazman
It's kinda hard for you to raise her interest level if she doesn't even return your calls.

The only thing you can do is do nothing.

If I were you, I would just move on.

Don't think of it as "moving on." That implies some kind of frustration or defeat. Think of it as "engaging another task/person that is more worthy of your time."

 

[Azariah]

Squirrels, I think your observations are spot on. I slept with this girl a while back just to prove my "sexual attractiveness" to myself after being rejected by someone else. It helped for a short time and I ultimately came to the same conclusions as you.

 

[Mazman]

Originally posted by squirrels
Don't think of it as "moving on." That implies some kind of frustration or defeat. Think of it as "engaging another task/person that is more worthy of your time."

That's a good way to look at it.

I myself have no problems with saying "moving on" though. Good advice neverless.

 

[Bonhomme]

Look elsewhere

.

 

[Industry]

The only way I have been able to raise a girls interest level dramatically is by not seeing her for a long, long time. But you gotta make sure something positive has changed about you in that timeframe and not just be the same old bloke. For girls, they have their pick (if they're hot enough) of the litter and one decent looking guy leaving to her is not going to bother her. Get a good job, workout and get some muscles, change your style (if that was needed), get a personality transplant.... or whatever.


.... then the ladies come running back.












..... and then you wake yer broke, scrawny, outdated, dull ass up!

 

[Coolage]

Thanks guys for the advice.

squirrels. that's a good way at looking at it. I like that better. (guys, I have a hatred for losing so I will not this instance that way.)

I am just going to let it go. I was planning on doing that anyway. I called her 3 weeks ago. I did happen to see her 2 weeks ago and she somewhat interested, but I was annoyed by what happened and did not speak to her. I just thought about it and wondered if anyone knew a way to salvage.

I am going to let this one go.

Thanks again