Hey guys,
So I've had a nagging feeling the last little while. Maybe it's compounded by the fact that one of my plates blew up recently and I'm second-guessing myself. But a recurring theme in my "game" seems to be that I frequently have been hit with "You're too ****y. It's annoying/unnattractive/unwarranted/whatever."
Now I've always disregarded it in the past, due to the fact that I'm banging these girls at the same time they are complaining to me, but last night a girl whom I've only been out with once hit me with the following dialogue: "I don't see what you have to be so ****y about... ...You talk to me like I must be dying to be with you. It's not intriguing, it's insulting to me... It's not the sarcasm, it's the unwarranted swag." etc. Like I said, normally I would just brush this off, but a while back another plate told me "You're too ****y. It's not confidence, it's being ****y, and you have no real reason to be."
So this of course got me thinking. Ironically, professionally I've never had an issue. I have a reason to be confident at work and at my firm, and it shows. But it shows itself in quiet reserved-ness. I don't need to boast or vocalize, I just do what I do, and be humble when the praise/$$$ comes in. It's a lesson The Godfather movie taught me at a young age, and I've internalized the hell out of the lessons from that movie. When it comes to women however, I've always made a point to be overly ****y/funny and a ballbuster. It's not my natural personality, as I am typically a reserved guy, but learned that women are not always attracted to the quiet, confident, reserved guy in the corner sipping an Old Fashioned. And generally exuding that "****iness" has worked quite fine for me, at least when it comes to short-term game, as I've never had an issue bringing chicks home with that persona. Bust balls, make her laugh, bang, leave, etc. But for long-term stuff, I think maybe I've hit upon a sticking-point that needs correcting, as I'm thinking that while being a ****y ******* helps to build attraction, it might kill it long-term?
(And if this is the case, then I'm gonna be super bummed. I just walked away from something where I just assumed the chick was being a nutter who couldn't be pleased, when maybe it was my own issue (busting balls/being ****y) that was the problem, and one that could have been easily corrected at that...)
Anyway, anyone have any thoughts? Can you really be too ****y? Or is it one of those things where it's more of an art, and you need to pick the right time and place? Like I said, normally I wouldn't be phased, but to meet a chick and have her hit you with that as her first impression of you, I couldn't just walk away from it without hearing from the experts. Cheers -Hansol
So I've had a nagging feeling the last little while. Maybe it's compounded by the fact that one of my plates blew up recently and I'm second-guessing myself. But a recurring theme in my "game" seems to be that I frequently have been hit with "You're too ****y. It's annoying/unnattractive/unwarranted/whatever."
Now I've always disregarded it in the past, due to the fact that I'm banging these girls at the same time they are complaining to me, but last night a girl whom I've only been out with once hit me with the following dialogue: "I don't see what you have to be so ****y about... ...You talk to me like I must be dying to be with you. It's not intriguing, it's insulting to me... It's not the sarcasm, it's the unwarranted swag." etc. Like I said, normally I would just brush this off, but a while back another plate told me "You're too ****y. It's not confidence, it's being ****y, and you have no real reason to be."
So this of course got me thinking. Ironically, professionally I've never had an issue. I have a reason to be confident at work and at my firm, and it shows. But it shows itself in quiet reserved-ness. I don't need to boast or vocalize, I just do what I do, and be humble when the praise/$$$ comes in. It's a lesson The Godfather movie taught me at a young age, and I've internalized the hell out of the lessons from that movie. When it comes to women however, I've always made a point to be overly ****y/funny and a ballbuster. It's not my natural personality, as I am typically a reserved guy, but learned that women are not always attracted to the quiet, confident, reserved guy in the corner sipping an Old Fashioned. And generally exuding that "****iness" has worked quite fine for me, at least when it comes to short-term game, as I've never had an issue bringing chicks home with that persona. Bust balls, make her laugh, bang, leave, etc. But for long-term stuff, I think maybe I've hit upon a sticking-point that needs correcting, as I'm thinking that while being a ****y ******* helps to build attraction, it might kill it long-term?
(And if this is the case, then I'm gonna be super bummed. I just walked away from something where I just assumed the chick was being a nutter who couldn't be pleased, when maybe it was my own issue (busting balls/being ****y) that was the problem, and one that could have been easily corrected at that...)
Anyway, anyone have any thoughts? Can you really be too ****y? Or is it one of those things where it's more of an art, and you need to pick the right time and place? Like I said, normally I wouldn't be phased, but to meet a chick and have her hit you with that as her first impression of you, I couldn't just walk away from it without hearing from the experts. Cheers -Hansol