Can u really trust your friends?

[Maybnoob]

Well im starting this thread becuse of certian perculiarities i have noticed after becoming more confident and intuitive to women. These perculiarites regard to that of a friend of mine.
Well the story is that usually my friend would be the centre of attraction in groups of women.. hell be seen as the confident one. Although i have to say initially on first meeting with women, girls would automatically come to me because im generally more attractive than he is. But a few minutes later once women have noticed his confidence and suaveness they would move on to him and forget me although i still notice the ocaasionla eye contact and stares directed to me. but as i was very closed (to do with body language) they would not approach me.
But i discoverd this site and learned that although you may be good looking (which i always used to rely on, and was shocked when girls would be atrracted to my friend rather me) it doesnt automatically get you girls, infact it can work against you. So i leanred the secrets and became more confident and open with women and learned what buttons to press, which inevitably led me to do my best in becoming a alpha male, which i am becoming.
This leads me to the issue on hand, i have noticed a shift with my friend. AS i am more confident around women they dont flock to him anymore and are concentrated at me. Due to this i have realised that he tends to try to assinate my character in front of these women and try to make me look small. He even uses his body to psychically block me from girls. for example there was a situation when these two hb8 were dancing for us i noticed that he would block my view and their view of me with his body, he was able to do this becuase we were in a small room, but there was still sufficient space to allow me to see. My friend also seems to not want to hang with me as often in social situations as we used to do.


So i want to ask you guys out there do you think this behaviour is to do with just the animal instinct imbedded in us males or something else. Why are some guys like this. when i was not the dominant character in social situations i would never think of ruining my friends chances with women infact i would usually boost him by giving him props.

So any ideas......................

 

[frivolousz21]

sounds to me like you didnt have the tight bond with a best friend in the 1st place...

for me personally I have A friends, B friends and aquantences.

A friends- best loyal friends regardless of Alpha male or not. everything is open and honest 100 percent. then again Ive had these 3 or 4 friends for 8 to 10 yrs minimun.

B friends-the exact guy you described.
my B friends will try to put me down in an insecure act. it happen just this past weekend.

I told all of my close friends I came here to get advice and learn..they thought it was cool as **** that its helped my game.

thats the difference between a insecure ***** friend and a real man as a friend

 

[skeeloo]

i got a friend like that, but after i become more successful he had no choice but to respect me. some guys will always be insecure losers and i dont want that in my life i dont mind other guys being threatend by me but if its my friend i just ignore them the girls still want u they just think ur not in thier league, get the uglier guy to make u more jealous .

besides when other guys are threatened it means they fear you.

 

[Freeman]

****-blockers

Originally posted by frivolousz21
sounds to me like you didnt have the tight bond with a best friend in the 1st place...

for me personally I have A friends, B friends and aquantences.

A friends- best loyal friends regardless of Alpha male or not. everything is open and honest 100 percent. then again Ive had these 3 or 4 friends for 8 to 10 yrs minimun.

B friends-the exact guy you described.
my B friends will try to put me down in an insecure act. it happen just this past weekend.

I told all of my close friends I came here to get advice and learn..they thought it was cool as **** that its helped my game.

thats the difference between a insecure ***** friend and a real man as a friend

Absolutely right man....To me if there's anything for grounds to break up a friendship its when a "friend" ****-blocks me in front of a girl-that has to be the most intolerable act-even worse than him not flushing the toilet after he takes a shyte...So if I were you I would disconnect that so-called friend man..

 

[ScrewIt]

thats how it is, it's part of human nature to get jealous due to competition.

But seriously your friend got problems, he's taking out his anger and blame on you, when in fact he work to improve himself with women.

As frivolousz mentioned, i have friends such as B.

Anytime they get insecurea bout something they start getting jealous and try to put me down. and i known this friend for 4 years...he's done this to me in the past, and if i let my guard down he'll take that opportunity to do it again.

if i didnt grow balls these few years, he'd still be doing that **** to me. i keep my mouth shut of my dating life cause he'll just get jealous.

but seriously, some people are just emotionally immature and just need to grow up

 

[DeathDealer]

Insecurity.

When someone cracks a joke at how someone behaves in a certain way, that's okay. That's on the surface stuff.

Such as: Jay Leno cracking jokes about OJ Simpson getting away with murder.

When someone cracks a joke at how someone looks, dresses, or even talks. That's under the surface.

Such as: Your dad telling you that his friend's son is more handsome and has a better job than you.

The difference between the two is one intends to HURT the individual while the other MAKES FUN of the obvious. The number one advice for DJs and everyone else is to associate yourself with people that help you think positively or critically.

 

[Kaine]

I can totally understand because he has always been King, and now you upsurped his position. Perhaps you changed to fast for him to adjust. He is now aware of this change and assume he is naturally bitter about it and now resentful, hence his reaction. His behaviour is adjustment to this change, he is merely challenging to retain that role again. Competition.


I have thought about this in the context of my social group. I am generally dominant in my social group.

I've noticed what I do is I generally talk up all my male friends in front of other people, particularly girls. I will occassionally say positive things about them say in front of other people or defend them:

"Oh yeah didn't I mention x is a great basketball player, yeah you blink and he's already scored 2 threes already"

"What do you mean, x is a great guy! You don't even know him, don't judge him yet"

etc


You need to be sincere about this, and doing this is can be quite disarming. Your friends will respect you more and accept your dominance because you treat them well. Accept you as the new just king and not their new enemy.

Try that if you value your friendship


This method requires true confidence on your part because those who are insecure will be afraid that this will take attention away from them.


Kaine

 

[Tha Realnezz]

If he gets jealous over women either of you prolly won't be fvcking on some highschool sh!t Imagine what he'll get like when there's something real to compete over.

Them naturals are usually loners becuz of that same thing,they wanna be the center of attention with everything.

 

[Mojo604]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
Them naturals are usually loners becuz of that same thing,they wanna be the center of attention with everything.

That is so true.

 

[Freeman]

to mynoob

Originally posted by Kaine
I can totally understand because he has always been King, and now you upsurped his position. Perhaps you changed to fast for him to adjust. He is now aware of this change and assume he is naturally bitter about it and now resentful, hence his reaction. His behaviour is adjustment to this change, he is merely challenging to retain that role again. Competition.


I have thought about this in the context of my social group. I am generally dominant in my social group.

I've noticed what I do is I generally talk up all my male friends in front of other people, particularly girls. I will occassionally say positive things about them say in front of other people or defend them:

"Oh yeah didn't I mention x is a great basketball player, yeah you blink and he's already scored 2 threes already"

"What do you mean, x is a great guy! You don't even know him, don't judge him yet"

etc


You need to be sincere about this, and doing this is can be quite disarming. Your friends will respect you more and accept your dominance because you treat them well. Accept you as the new just king and not their new enemy.

Try that if you value your friendship


This method requires true confidence on your part because those who are insecure will be afraid that this will take attention away from them.


Kaine

Hey listen...I don't know about all that Kings and competition...The bottom line is that the guy is not your friend-He may say that he is but his actions speak for him..I mean think about it man...when he was macking all the girls did you do the same to him? I know you guys proly been "friends" for quite some time now but, as you know, relationships get tested and either you pass it or fail it. For your buddy he failed it. If he can't let you enjoy this new-found attention from girls, the attention he has gotten for so long, then imagine if you become rich-would he then get jealous also-or be happy for his friend's success?

 

[Leuven]

Hey Maybnoob, I've got a simular problem like you.
About three months I've discovered this site and started by reading the dj bible. After that I began to read ( and still reading ) a big amount of posts. Suddenly I realised that the afc description was me. Oke I already knowed that because that was the reason for me to search a site like this one.

The same counts for my friends I go out with. The only difference is that I used to talk to strange girls. But never had the g*ts to number/kiss close. the only girls I've ever kissed had started kissing me ( yeah I hear you think, what a f**king wuzz ). By reading all this usefull stuff here, I'm starting to change a bit. New look, other clothes, trying to live less stressfull, get rid of my watch, ... ) For the last two months I start to approach more and more girls, without any succes but the fear of rejection begans to fade, during the conversations, I feel much less stress than before. Last weekend there were also 2 hb7-8 who were looking at me intensively.
But the last month I've discovered something strange. Before my friends were always there for me, but now it looks like they become jaleous. It seems like they can't bare that I'm starting to have slight succes. Instead of trying to improve themselfs, they wants to weaken me.

So I don't know what to do, if anyone have a piece of advice, ...

- Is it better to search for new friends to go out with?
- Do I have to tell them something about the dj-thing or would
that make things even worse because they than know what's
the secret to the change and accusing me not being real?

 

[Kaine]

I think this situation occurs when your change is far too incongruent to other people's current perception of you. They will always try to fit you IN THEIR box (that you had always been in). I think sudden behaviour change can confuse some people and you need to give them time to get used to the NEW you and adjust their perception and behaviour accordingly. Otherwise they will likely behave in way so that you are pushed back into THEIR frame of reality, at least for the short term.


Some people will take it better some won't. Finding new groups helps as you can have people more readily accept the new you because they are still forming their perception of you. Case in point, when you left highschool for university, How do your existing peers and new peers relate to you?


I've changed a LOT mentally and physically since then and I'm sure my old peers will try to relate to me in the way they are used to. You just need to persevere and make your frame stronger until they accept it. Until then don't be suprised at strong opposition.


Comments welcome.


Kaine

 

[Leuven]

Oke thanks for the advice.

You certainly have a point that some people take it better than others. Changes in state when I lefted high school for university were very slim, also because we all went the same year to the university.

 

[PRMoon]

A true friend will not stand in your way if you make your intentions clear. My friends and I work together as a group to acheive a common goal. I actually do more to help my friends out then I do myself sometimes, because that's just the kinda DJ I am.

If for any reason ANY of my friends were to act they way your guy is acting towards you in public, we would have to have a serious conversation (or a fight) in order to straighten that **** out. I have to compete with enough guys when I go out as it is, the last thing I need to do is cross swords with one of my friends.

If I am going to be competing with a friend of mine there has to be some kind of verbal agreement about who exactly we're going to be competing over and sometimes we'll agree on terms of play... to make it more proper you see.

But those occasions are rare because I tend to help out my friends in anyway that I can when it comes to women. If I were you I'd employ that tactic once with your friend. next time you go out and girls huddle around you make sure you introduce your friend(s) too. Kindness with your friends will show that you don't want to battle him and you're still thinking about him even when girls are around. Hopefully this will coutner his insecurities and he'll respect you more as an aid rather then view you as a rival.