Can this girl be "tamed" ?

[flyinshark]

I went on a date with a girl that i find very interesting. She's very independent, tends to be a bit sarcastic, seems to know what she wants, and is pretty confident.

However, she seems to dig me and she told me i'm very good looking. We laughed and smiled almost all the time during our bowling+coffee first date. I got her to punch me a few times because i teased her and she teased me a bit too. I think those are good signs.

Now, my question is, this girl seems so... detached, almost non-emotional, so casual.. that i wonder, if we ever escalate to the romance level, is she gonna change her attitude a bit and become more loving, more serious, more vulnerable?

I wish one day she could be all calm and would tell me she loves me and she feels safe when she's in my arms, and feminine stuff like that, but i wonder if she could ever be like that, given her current attitude.

Anybody dated a very independent girl who turned out to be a great lover and dropped her attitude when she was just with you?

Thanks guys

 

[arlanda]

is she gonna change her attitude a bit and become more loving, more serious, more vulnerable?

Yes, after you two have sex.

 

[jigga23]

yea you need to first not give a fvck and stop being so needy. you need to be nonchalant. look at what shes doing to you. do it to her shell feel the same way.my ex was like that girl atleast she acted like it but she wasnt.that girls putting on a front dude and your falling for it. deep down shes probably very carying and generous. all girls claim their indepent and dont need anyone. thats a bunch of bs. so act like you dont give a fvck let her come to you and move the relationship.

 

[Kings_royalty]

I went on a date with a girl that i find very interesting. She's very independent, tends to be a bit sarcastic, seems to know what she wants, and is pretty confident.

However, she seems to dig me and she told me i'm very good looking. We laughed and smiled almost all the time during our bowling+coffee first date. I got her to punch me a few times because i teased her and she teased me a bit too. I think those are good signs.

Now, my question is, this girl seems so... detached, almost non-emotional, so casual.. that i wonder, if we ever escalate to the romance level, is she gonna change her attitude a bit and become more loving, more serious, more vulnerable?

I wish one day she could be all calm and would tell me she loves me and she feels safe when she's in my arms, and feminine stuff like that, but i wonder if she could ever be like that, given her current attitude.

Anybody dated a very independent girl who turned out to be a great lover and dropped her attitude when she was just with you?

Thanks guys

It sounds like you are doing the right things and she's into you, what you need to do now is be a little more flirty with her, maybe add some kino, let her know your intentions, then back off a bit.. don't smother her with it. In other words, one step forward, two steps back (as David D would say). Just make it playful to keep things interesting, don't be needy or sappy about it.

The more her Interest Level goes up, the lower her guard will come down. Hope this helped.



Hope this helps.

 

[ScrewIt]

Seduce her...that'll make her feel all gitty and girly. the most confident chicks can even fall to seduction.

Be serious about it, grab her, look into her eyes as if u are serious...and say "im gay!"...no seriously say something real like you mean it.

 

[Bat]

Yes, after you two have sex.

True

 

[wayword]

Now, my question is, this girl seems so... detached, almost non-emotional, so casual.. that i wonder, if we ever escalate to the romance level, is she gonna change her attitude a bit and become more loving, more serious, more vulnerable?

Let me guess...she's probably only around 20ish and has slept with at least 10 guys...often drunken, casual sex? She's probably got burnt real hard due to her carelessness at some point and has now numbed herself with a thick shell.

She had and still has serious intimacy issues. In fact, slvtting around showed the same thing - lack of real intimacy. So, deep down, nothing's really changed in her. Expect a lot of teasing and attention-wh0ring...but don't be surprised if she won't actually put out.

 

[flyinshark]

Yeah, it makes sense that she would be acting differently after sex. I just find it a bit tricky to get to that stage with her because my previous conquests were all nice girly girls who didn't play a lot of mind games.

Let me guess...she's probably only around 20ish and has slept with at least 10 guys...often drunken, casual sex? She's probably got burnt real hard due to her carelessness at some point and has now numbed herself with a thick shell.

She had and still has serious intimacy issues. In fact, slvtting around showed the same thing - lack of real intimacy. So, deep down, nothing's really changed in her. Expect a lot of teasing and attention-wh0ring...but don't be surprised if she won't actually put out.

Yeah, she's exactly 20. I'm almost positive she has slept with a few guys, but here's the interesting part:

She is a bright girl, who is planning to study in law. This raises her above the average slvt.

And here's an even more interesting detail. She told me that 3-4 years ago she used to weigh 160lbs (she's 5'5 tall now) and she suffered a lot because guys would not be THAT into her. She then met a guy who liked her like she was and somehow made her WANT to fight and lose the extra weight.

She immediately started working out like 5 times a week, eating significantly less, and she hasn't stopped till now. She lost a lot of weight, and although i don't know how much she weighs now, i would guess she's at around 125lbs. I find her really sexy.

Last detail about her is that she broke up with her last bf a year ago, cuz he was ashamed to be on the passenger side when she was driving her car. He couldn't accept that a woman would take the lead like that, and he also had problems with the fact that she was planning on having a carreer later on instead of wanting to be a stay-home mom.

Now, after a year of fooling around, she told me that she wants to have a boyfriend cuz she misses the fluffy stuff associated with having someone more serious in her life.

All this to say that i dont think she's a slvt. Sorry if it was a bit too long, but i think those details can give you a better impression of her true personality.

So, based on all these things, how would you guys act on the second and 3rd date with this girl. What i plan is to make her my girlfriend, and then have sex with her. Or the other way around, but i want to be with her, thats for sure.

I appreciate any suggestions. Thanks guys!

 

[Fash]

So, based on all these things, how would you guys act on the second and 3rd date with this girl. What i plan is to make her my girlfriend, and then have sex with her. Or the other way around, but i want to be with her, thats for sure.

Wo! listen to your self! I'm gettin depressed just reading it! Stop being so needy!

First of all, understand that you dont need this chick.

Now... lets get you some a*s.

You HAVE to assume attraction (the wise words of my man Shezz). She is attracted to you and so far you have gone about things the right way.

You have to kiss close her on the 2nd date and seduce the f*ck out of her! go for the f-close if you feel comfortable.

One of the chicks i'm currently seeing is abit like that. She used to go on and on about how she isnt a "girly" girl and how she doesnt like compliments and bla bla bla!

Ignore it! be your self and make her work for your attention! soon you'll see all the "womanly" crap start to come out.

This is what is going to really help you....

If you want to have the power in your relationship with her, don't think of her as this amazing girl that you just have to have and you want her to love you and all that sh*t. Think of her as that overwight and insecure girl she used to be and then you will start to see how lucky she is just to even know you!

Now come back and update us when you have f-closed her!

Remember, assume she wants to bang your brains out! assume she wants you and that you are the man!

Go get'em tiger!

 

[wayword]

Yeah, she's exactly 20.

And here's an even more interesting detail. She told me that 3-4 years ago she used to weigh 160lbs (she's 5'5 tall now) and she suffered a lot because guys would not be THAT into her.

Now, after a year of fooling around, she told me that she wants to have a boyfriend cuz she misses the fluffy stuff associated with having someone more serious in her life.

Bingo. Am I good or what?

Yup, there's your intimacy issues. Early rejection from guys due to her weight.

Year of slvtting around (while emotionally numb)? Check. But of course that is not emotionally-satisfying for a woman, she wants a real emotional high. Which is why she now "wants" a relationship...but at the same time is afraid of one.

BEWARE of her stringing you along just for attention or still being stuck on or even fuxxoring her ex.

 

[flyinshark]

Fash, you're telling me that i am very needy because i wanna make this girl my girlfriend. I thought that i was in fact showing determination, because i'm optimistic about my chances of making her my girlfriend. In any case, thanks for your comments.


Wayword, yeah, you seem to have nailed her personality. Good job. I'll be careful with her as i am NOT looking for another friend. I already have enough friends. If she's smart enough to realize that i would be a great catch for her, so be it, otherwise she can keep looking and so will i.

So yeah, i will try to give you guys an update after the second date. I am calling today to set up the date for this week-end.