Can Men Just Be Friends?

[electricshock]

Can men have platonic relationships with women? Or are they just 'laying the groundwork'? I'm in a relationship but I have a few guy friends who send the odd flirty text/compliment me a lot/use lots of emojis etc. I sometimes wonder

 

[Epicwinguy]

I'm not as successful or experienced as most guys here, but I would say it is possible. There are times when I'm not attracted to a girl but shes cool, or I can't really get with her for whatever reason (shes my coworker or etc.) but I can meet other girls through her. Sometimes its just good to expand my social circle too, regardless whether she is into me or not.

I don't know about that flirting. Could be joking around or actually trying to get with you idk.

 

[marmel75]

Yes but only when you aren't attracted to them.

 

[skinnyguy]

Yeah I have a female friend she is an AFC but a really cool girl to be around. Wouldn't bang her in a hundred years

 

[zekko]

Yes but only when you aren't attracted to them.

I agree with this. In fact, I would go a step further: The less attractive a guy finds a girl, the easier it is for him to be "just friends" with her. Otherwise, if he thinks she is attractive, at some point or other, he is going to want to fvck her. IMO.

Generally speaking, if the guy is not attracted to her, she will be attracted to him (thus secretly wanting to be more than friends). That makes sense, since if the guy does not find her attractive, that usually indicates that his SMV is much higher than hers.

That's why it's so difficult for men and women to be friends.

 

[Trump]

Can men have platonic relationships with women? Or are they just 'laying the groundwork'? I'm in a relationship but I have a few guy friends who send the odd flirty text/compliment me a lot/use lots of emojis etc. I sometimes wonder

No I don't think so.

If they are friends and the guy is attracted, he wants to sleep with her.
If they are friends and the guy is not attracted, he will hang out with her enough that he will get attracted and eventually want to sleep with her.

What use is it to be friends with a girl, let alone talk to a girl for more than 117 seconds, if you don't want to sleep with her? Maybe every guy is a millionaire and they have nothing to do but sleep with girls.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Yes but only when you aren't attracted to them.

To add to that, I'd say yes, but only when you have already fvcked them. One of my best friends right now is a hot chick every guy wants to fvck, but I already have, several times, and honestly she's awful at sex. I do not want any more. But I really care for her as a human being. I like her company a lot. I am probably the only guy in her life who doesn't want to fvck her, which is why we can be such good friends. It takes an odd circumstance like this for a man and a woman to be genuine friends. Normally, I am against the idea.

 

[Dingo]

Chris Rock... Platonic friends... "Women we haven't ****ed... yet"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

To add to that, I'd say yes, but only when you have already fvcked them. One of my best friends right now is a hot chick every guy wants to fvck, but I already have, several times, and honestly she's awful at sex. I do not want any more. But I really care for her as a human being. I like her company a lot. I am probably the only guy in her life who doesn't want to fvck her, which is why we can be such good friends. It takes an odd circumstance like this for a man and a woman to be genuine friends. Normally, I am against the idea.

Why is she awful?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Worst blowj0b I ever had, wants to turn her head away from me so I can't even see her, but just kind of licks me, idk wtf she's thinking. She has a really petite body, so is scared about me hurting her, always insisted in being on top. We did try a few other positions, but it was never that great.

The love of her life killed himself. The love of my life might as well have, considering how little she wants me. That's what we have in common. Both of us have been big wh0res as a result of our past, as a way to cope. She has been texting me lately, including tonight, about the graphic details of her exploits. I really don't want to hear it, but I don't think she has anyone else to tell. She says I am the only one who won't judge her for being a slvt, because I am one too. And she's right. Like I said, she is one of my best friends.

 

[sharkbeat]

Biologically, no.
Socially, yes.

 

[cola]

I have platonic female friends who I put 0 effort into laying because they are more beneficial platonic.

Now if they stripped at my house and said f*ck me, I wouldn't turn them away. Just being honest..

 

[BeExcellent]

Yes but it depends a great deal on the two individual people involved.

All my life I've had male friends. There were no little girls in the neighborhood where I grew up but lots of boys, so I was a tomboy. Add to that my Dad was the parent who spent time with me as a child so I gravitate naturally to male company and have my entire life. Hunting, fishing, the woods, playing sports, the whole nine yards. Coming to grips with being a girl as an adolescent was an adjustment but I love being a woman now and have a number of wonderful close girlfriends.

One of my two longest tenured friendships is with a man who was several years older than me in high school. Always platonic. We have been friends (he was never an orbiter) for 30 years although we live far apart now so catch up occasionally and see each other only a couple of times a year. Another long term friend of 25 years is a man who I dated in college. When we were both married to other people we would get together socially as couples. We will be friends into our old age (which we each find rather humorous) and we give each other advice and support about our lives since we have each watched the other go from potential to realized success in life. It is so rare to have a friendship with someone who "knew you when". It's very cool.

I've had other male friends "for a season" in life who were close platonic buddies. Men who I would work with, work out with, discuss dating with (regarding either the guy or myself), go out with and wing-woman with during my 20's. I was part of the "posse". It was a ball. Some of those men are now married and the natural way of things is that those friendships taper off when either party gets into a serious LTR or marriage because the LTR meets the needs that the friendship was meeting (outside of sex - not talking about sex at all.) It's a little sad to lose those friendships but at the same time its wonderful to see someone you care about very happy.

Three of the now married men I think of keep in very occasional touch. We might share a business lead with one another, sometimes we get together for dinner (always with the spouse) if we are in the locale of the other, sometimes we catch up about life and kids...maybe once every few years.

These men were not orbiters either. They always had their own dates, girlfriends, and plates, and I always had my own dating interests or boyfriends. We were just buddies. So it's not impossible, but it really depends on the individual people.

 

[Serenity]

Yes of course we can. I have a girlfriend which kinda does help negate most temptation that would complicate it. But a single guy with good self-control could do the same.

It's harder if the guy wants to fvck and have no or little available women. He'll at least consider the possibility with any girl who gets just a little close to him.

 

[cola]

I don't see the point in keeping around several unattractive women to hang out with.

One reason is because they often have hot friends and tbh, some people are just cool man. Some girls can be just as cool to hang with as the guys..

Once I started enjoying the company of women and not because of whats betwern their legs, I started getting a lot less LMR
They can tell when you are only there for sex..

 

[cola]

On game: I don't like screwing around in my social-circle at all. I've been there and done that. I have learnt to manage my life better. I neither want or need women as pivots - that's a really disastrous way to game IMO.

On friendship: Women make awful friends when compared to men. I've even had women tell me this themselves.

The best that a woman can provide for a man is the type of intimacy you have when sexual. That is how you get the best out of a woman - not by being her 'friend'.

Like I said, my time and energy is finite. When I want friendship, I hang out with the guys. When I want to enjoy women, I go out with them on dates. That's taking the best from all people.

I don't think hanging around with women as friends is cool. I think it's gay to be honest with you.

Ok.

 

[The Duke]

I have no reason to have a female as a friend that I'm not having sechs with. They just don't offer the friendship qualities I expect like men do.

I do know several females who have many male friends, and I'd bet 70% of those guys want more than just friends!