Can I recover from the dreaded "L" word?

[Slim Ironwood]

What's up guys, I'm a 21 year-old DJ in training with a lot of good going for me, but lacking in the experience department. Lately I've been generating interest from many HB's, including older ones ranging from mid-to-late 20's.

For the past couple of months, I've been hanging out with a girl 5 years my senior and we've been hitting it off real well, going out for drinks, alternating dinner duties at her place (I live at home ) and writing songs together, as I'm an electronic musician and she writes lyrics.

She has a long-distance boyfriend she sees every other weekend, so I've not made any kind of move despite an obvious physical and mental attraction. Lately, however, I've been leaning more towards taking some action.

Last week after a very productive artistic session, we began drinking a bit more rapidly and got caught up in some amazing deep conversation. As it became more and more revealing, I got a little caught up in it and (being the retarded drunk I am) ended up saying "I have so much love for you," which was responded to by a hug and a remark about my 'sweetness.'

The next couple of days, it became evident that this was a colossal mistake as she didn't follow through on our next 'date' and didn't respond to my text, which was a first.

I haven't even called yet because deep down I really think I'm gonna end up being directed to voicemail. I know the best way to play it now is cool and to let her initiate contact as she's been doing the whole time, but is it possible I've already dug myself a hole too deep to dig out of?

I've found myself enjoying her company more and more over the past weeks and while I'd be interested in seeing where a relationship between us could go, I also realize there are many benefits to it not working out, e.g. me getting a younger, even hotter chick, forcing myself to meet more women and learn as much as I can, etc. But before I move forward I'd just like to explore this a bit more. I'd hate to quickly let go of a girl I connect with on so many levels.
:rock:

 

[Bible_Belt]

For the past couple of months, I've been hanging out with a girl 5 years my senior and we've been hitting it off real well, going out for drinks, alternating dinner duties at her place (I live at home ) and writing songs together, as I'm an electronic musician and she writes lyrics.

She has a long-distance boyfriend she sees every other weekend, so I've not made any kind of move

The whole arrangement stinks, at least for you. You provide entertainment and companionship, and the bf gets the sex.

You're deep in the friendzone; just give up on this girl. Have her introduce you to her friends, or find something for yourself to get out of the deal. Right now, you are the one getting screwed. You should take the time and attention you give her, and instead give it to a different girl who will put out.

 

[jamescr73]

best bet at this point is to cut off all contact, make yourself extremely busy, dont return phone calls, and make her come running back to you. Dont ever bring up the L word again, but the next goal is to make her come back, and get her in the bed asap. Your working yourself into the friend zone real quick. you might already be there.

 

[Charm]

Bible_Belt came out the desert to answer this one perfectly. Read and re-read what he has said. You are STUCK in friendzone. You should focus elsewhere, you are in so deep only with some skills you do not have could you get out of it. Re-read what he says and go get some new women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Lice?

 

[Slim Ironwood]

Cool, I appreciate it, the FZ is what I ultimately want to avoid. Although you may be correct in the assumption that I'm stuck there, I still believe there's more to it (she was canceling plans with her bf for me), but that could be my impulsive side speaking to me.

I probably could have been more assertive but as of right now, I think it's better I expand my horizons. After all, I did have a really good time with her sister (who's a year younger than me) on New Year's.

Let the games begin!

 

[superchristx]

Remember that there is a big gap between what people say and what they do, and what they do is the important one. I imagine you both started out as a child . . . when you think about the specifics you have in common (not the FEELING you have) they'll be pretty mundane. She could talk to a guy in this way twice a week, and if she's beautiful at least half of them will feel so much love for her that they can't stay quiet. Just move on, investing too much in a woman is a mistake even when she wants you.