Yeah i think the main problem i got right now is my confidence took an absoloute torpedo. The guy I was replaced for and another guy i found out she cheated on me with, both were real bottom of the barrel type of guys, and my male brain just thinks "well, i'm better than them, so why would she do that, unless.... i'm.... not ....better than them?"
Logically I know that isn't true but it's hard to shake, and I have mostly been picking the low hanging fruit to try and build up my confidence. I am getting there slowly, gym and looking after my body and mind is something that i forgot about through the two and a half years of living with her madness, so i'm kind of repairing the damage.
Bro, totally get where you're coming from. But you're letting one woman out of
4 billion determine your self-worth relative to other men. I know you know it's not rational--but you invested your ego in the opinions of this broad (which is easy to do when she thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread (idealization phase)). But think about that for a moment. And not just one woman--
an emotionally disordered one. Come on, dude.
But let's take things a step further: What are the type of things that women value (talking on a macro level--obviously there are women who are more discriminate)? Purses,
50 Shade of Grey, cliched television dramas, shoes, etc. Are any of those things any inherently more valuable just because women like them? Is
50 Shade of Grey a better book than
The Great Gatsby (it's sold 5x more copies in 4 years than
TGG has in the past 80 years)?
**** that lol. You define your own value. That might sound new-agey or overly-optimistic, but it's the truth. Most people
will accept you at your own valuation of yourself--they don't have time to dig deeper and form their own opinions. To be high value all you really have to do is decide that you're high value--if you really believe that, it'll manifest itself through your behavior; some guys might see past it or resent you for it, but most women won't; and from there is just snowballs. A couple women think you're high value because you believe you're high value; a couple dozen more think you're high value because those women think you're high value; men begin to think you're high value since a couple dozen women have appraised you as such, so on and so forth. Once you realize the extent of the game you won't give a damn if any one person doesn't appreciate you--because only a handful of people in your life will ever appreciate you for
who you are and chances are, none of those will be women you're romantically involved with.
