Can A Toxic Woman Ever Change?

[soulforge]

some of you guys might remember me from around a year ago..

i was given some excellent advice from Jariel, Expos, Atom Smasher, Mauser

anyhow i was with this woman for around 2 years.. she was everything i ever wanted... beautiful, amazing figure, funny, and the best sex

anyhow i really fell for this chick, about a year into the relationship, it went all wrong...

as soon as she knew, i was in love with her... she changed

she displayed the typical BDP traits... but I DO NOT THINK SHE WAS BDP

she was Cluster B narcassist & was very passive aggressive


the usual lack of empathy, push/pull, dis respectful, sometimes she loved me, then she hated me

by the end of the relationship, i was a broken man... my confidence shatterd..
she dumped me 1 week before christmas

this was the 4th time me and her had parted....

so i went hardcore ghost on her ass.... it has been around 6 months now, since i walked away... altho i have not found a good woman for myself, i have banged lots of chicks

my career has improved, my fitness is amazing.. got some serious size and muscle now

i still feel alone, and feel like i want to settle down.. i am 37 years old


so this ex of mine has already made 3 attempts to get me back!!


attempt 1 - endless emails, that i deleted unread

attempt 2 - a hand written letter sent to my house, i ripped it up without reading it

attempt 3 - she got her 12 year old daughter to write to me, still puzzled at why she would use her daughter? i did not read the letter and have put it away


now she is contacting me on plenty of fish... she sent me 3 messages today


i won't lie, i still have feelings for this chick... when things was good, we was amazing together... but the hurt she caused me was unbareable


i gave her 2 chances previously & each and everytime she let me down...


do i keep walking from this woman & never look back? i really do not feel she can offer me a secure relationship

it will be like walking on egg shells, wondering when the next dumping will come..

 

[countwoofoolah]

some of you guys might remember me from around a year ago..

i was given some excellent advice from Jariel, Expos, Atom Smasher, Mauser

anyhow i was with this woman for around 2 years.. she was everything i ever wanted... beautiful, amazing figure, funny, and the best sex

anyhow i really fell for this chick, about a year into the relationship, it went all wrong...

as soon as she knew, i was in love with her... she changed

she displayed the typical BDP traits... but I DO NOT THINK SHE WAS BDP

she was Cluster B narcassist & was very passive aggressive


the usual lack of empathy, push/pull, dis respectful, sometimes she loved me, then she hated me

by the end of the relationship, i was a broken man... my confidence shatterd..
she dumped me 1 week before christmas

this was the 4th time me and her had parted....

so i went hardcore ghost on her ass.... it has been around 6 months now, since i walked away... altho i have not found a good woman for myself, i have banged lots of chicks

my career has improved, my fitness is amazing.. got some serious size and muscle now

i still feel alone, and feel like i want to settle down.. i am 37 years old


so this ex of mine has already made 3 attempts to get me back!!


attempt 1 - endless emails, that i deleted unread

attempt 2 - a hand written letter sent to my house, i ripped it up without reading it

attempt 3 - she got her 12 year old daughter to write to me, still puzzled at why she would use her daughter? i did not read the letter and have put it away


now she is contacting me on plenty of fish... she sent me 3 messages today


i won't lie, i still have feelings for this chick... when things was good, we was amazing together... but the hurt she caused me was unbareable


i gave her 2 chances previously & each and everytime she let me down...


do i keep walking from this woman & never look back? i really do not feel she can offer me a secure relationship

it will be like walking on egg shells, wondering when the next dumping will come..

Truth is you have already answered your own question there bud

do i keep walking from this woman & never look back? i really do not feel she can offer me a secure relationship

Always trust your instincts , if it feels wrong , it usually is

In all honestly sounds like you miss the sex , hell id miss the sex , but if you take that away what do you have ?

also everything she does looks like manipulative behaviour

 

[soulforge]

Truth is you have already answered your own question there bud



Always trust your instincts , if it feels wrong , it usually is

In all honestly sounds like you miss the sex , hell id miss the sex , but if you take that away what do you have ?

also everything she does looks like manipulative behaviour

she defo was manipulative.. but to be honest, it's not the sex i miss... i have 2 plates i am currently banging

 

[Desdinova]

do i keep walking from this woman & never look back? i really do not feel she can offer me a secure relationship

Your gut is telling you that she's a piece of 5hit. Go with your gut.

i still feel alone, and feel like i want to settle down.. i am 37 years old

I get that too, and I'm 36. But I can't let that occasional feeling cause me to settle for a piece of 5hit that gives me attention when her emotions are fluctuating.

If you want to have a good woman by your side, you need to be extremely fussy. There are thousands of terrible women out there. Good ones are going to become more and more scarce as our society progresses toward feminizing men and encouraging gay family units. Having a trustworthy, respectful, and reliable significant other may eventually become a thing of past generations.

 

[soulforge]

Your gut is telling you that she's a piece of 5hit. Go with your gut.



I get that too, and I'm 36. But I can't let that occasional feeling cause me to settle for a piece of 5hit that gives me attention when her emotions are fluctuating.

If you want to have a good woman by your side, you need to be extremely fussy. There are thousands of terrible women out there. Good ones are going to become more and more scarce as our society progresses toward feminizing men and encouraging gay family units. Having a trustworthy, respectful, and reliable significant other may eventually become a thing of past generations.

when i was with her, she treated me like crap on many occasions... i never felt like i could rely on her in any way!

she was passive agressive... silent treatments, ignoring me, controling & witholding sex, make remarks that broke my confidence.. she put her freinds, kids, family, everyone before me... i was bottom of the pile


and know she is desprate to get me back? probably because she is nearly 46 years old, her health is failing her, she has probably been dumped by a few guys after me...

the grass does not seem greener elsewhere to her now.... maybe she has chnaged... maybe me going ghost for 6 months has made her realise what she lost

but... i rather not take the risk... i need a good woman in my life.. not a f@cking liability

 

[Desdinova]

Dude, you're 37. Bag yourself a woman in her mid-20. They're so much less maintenance and less jaded than older women. I've had nothing but problems with women over the age of 30.

 

[soulforge]

Dude, you're 37. Bag yourself a woman in her mid-20. They're so much less maintenance and less jaded than older women. I've had nothing but problems with women over the age of 30.

man this woman has been doing her best to pull me back in... everytime i got back with her, i ended up regreting it..BIG TIME

she let me down each and everytime... I CANNOT GO BACK

and i cannot let it bother me, that she is on POF looking for a man... f@ck her, let her do what she wants.. aslong as that TOXIC woman is not in my life

let her screw someone else over

 

[soulforge]

everytime she contacts me... i start to feel weak again!

she beautiful, best looking woman i ever had... but is that enough??

after the looks and the sex... what am i f@cking left with?

 

[VladPatton]

...by the end of the relationship, i was a broken man... my confidence shatterd..
she dumped me 1 week before christmas

this was the 4th time me and her had parted....←◄←◄ Right here ←◄←◄

so i went hardcore ghost on her ass.... it has been around 6 months now, since i walked away... altho i have not found a good woman for myself, i have banged lots of chicks





Up there is where I think you need to retrace things. This seems to be part of a cycle. Stop the cycle from ever restarting and you'll be a free man. Stop entertaining all avenues of contact with her.

 

[sylvester the cat]

everytime she contacts me... i start to feel weak again!

she beautiful, best looking woman i ever had... but is that enough??

after the looks and the sex... what am i f@cking left with?

so keep her as a fkuc buddy and nothing more. it's not like there's much mileage left in this one anyways.

 

[El Payaso]

If you have a feeling in your gut, it's usually correct. Listen to it.

 

[soulforge]

You have answered all your own questions.

1. She is garbage, she will hurt you again. Guaranteed.
2. You are right. She is 46, has hit "the wall" and there are few takers, just pumps and dumpers' So she has come back to the old familiar well, to see if there is any water left. She wants attention and your money. Bet on it.
3. She has NOT changed. Guaranteed. She will CONVINCE you she has, for a short while, like all the times before. And likely will press for marriage (46 and all, ya know)

Fvck that.
Stay the h3ll away from her. You KNOW the answer, you just want to hear it from us, to re-affirm your decision.

I go through the same thing sometimes.

SHE HAS NOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE. SHE HAS JUST PUT ON A DIFFERENT FACE THIS TIME.
TELL HER TO FVCK OFF OR YOU WILL GET A RESTRAINING ORDER.

mauser i have to agree with.. you was one of the guys who gave me advice & helped me to break the toxic cycle & get away from this woman..

the reason why i come on here, is when i experience a moment of weakness, i know you guys will help me see the right way again.

and it is true, i am kinda feeling ****tty because i've reached 37, still stingle and no kids.. i have a couple of plates, but nothing meaningful

other than that, i am doing good career wise & fitness wise, i am in excellent shape... i am postive i will meet the right one soon enough.

as for the ex... i intend to carry on ignoring the sh@t out of her!!


she is 46 years old, her health is getting quite bad.. she does not have that much of a family structure... she has probably been dumped once or twice sine me and her ended

she is now on pof & probably going to end up getting pumped / dumped few more times

nothing will change with her...past behaviour predicts future behaviour!!


i,m free of her now & that is how it will remain...

 

[Torrent Seduction]

just like we have changed through internalizing inner game concepts, they can change as well. It takes a long time though unfortunately

 

[Redwood]

I agree with the poster that said maintain your peace of mind.

More important than trying to spin plates at the moment. Take time and heal yourself before getting your feet wet again.

 

[geenamiller89]

I am sure you know the answer to your question.

Sounds like you are having a great life without her and you are well aware of the consequences if you return to your old relationship. Continue to take care of yourself and Im sure sooner or later you will find someone better.

 

[TARKUS]

does the water ever clear up when a turd just sits in the toilet bowl?

 

[soulforge]

I am sure you know the answer to your question.

Sounds like you are having a great life without her and you are well aware of the consequences if you return to your old relationship. Continue to take care of yourself and Im sure sooner or later you will find someone better.

Well I, m not sure about having a great life.. I miss not having a family around.. and bieng
Single does get lonley.. altho I do have a couple of plates, so I guess its not too bad.

Since breaking up with her, my fitness level has defo gone up.. I, m in the gym 5 days a week, have made good gains, and looking quite hench...

As for my career.. I got promoted at work to managemant... so guess some positive things in my life too...

 

[Nn877]

From reading your post soulforge you have yet to say one positive thing abt this woman. You said she was everything you wanted? "Beautiful(physical), figure(physical), best sex(physical) and funny. So everything you ever wanted was a funny sex goddess? Seems like you overlooked many attributes that make a quality women because you were too busy having sex with her.

You said it's not the sex, but contradict yourself because sounds like that's exactly what you wanted in the beginning, there's sex but then there's sex from a beautiful woman who also shows interest in you. Slippery slope my friend. Use your head man, the one up top.

 

[soulforge]

I am sure you know the answer to your question.

Sounds like you are having a great life without her and you are well aware of the consequences if you return to your old relationship. Continue to take care of yourself and Im sure sooner or later you will find someone better.

i think that is the only way forward... been back to her 2-3 times, she made all the promises under the sun... would only take a matter of weeks, till she is back to her old ways again..

nah i can never go back there again... besides she dumped me just 1 week before christmas lol had planned to spen it together

i spent christmas and new year alone... but hey small price to pay, if it meant i get away from this toxic woman...

 

[soulforge]

so bit of an update

she has been sending me more messages on pof... there is no other way for her to contact me

i am not even reading her messages

should i carry on ignoring her? or block her on pof?

if i block her, in some way i am letting her know that i am bitter or angry.. or resentful

personaly i am thinking ignoring her is the better option?