Razor Sharp
Senior Don Juan
Average frustrated chumps are all too content to put up with endless sh*t-tests and outright disrespect from a girl they fancy. Then they discover, thanks to repeated failure, that in order to be successful with women, a man must actually have a spine. So off in the other direction they run, quick to pull the trigger and drop bombs on these flaky hoes when they step out of line.
I won't dismiss the value of expressing one's frustrations whilst simultaneously defending one's honor/boundaries - but a very subtle dynamic is at play here. One that is hard to see in the midst of a righteous rage.
If you feel the need to "tell off" a girl you just met, then you have already invested far too much energy into her bullsh*t to ever have had a chance to begin with.
(Yes that is a poorly constructed run-on sentence, but read it again till it sinks in.)
Most guys think that sticking up for yourself makes you a man, but I can tell you that picking your battles is infinitely more masculine, and effective.
To get an idea of what I'm talking about you have to ask yourself a few honest questions:
Question #1: What is the return on investment (ROI) for a call-out?
Frankly there is little to zero chance that your diatribe will have any effect whatsoever. Women are the grand wizards of backwards rationalizations. If they want to be right about something, then by God they will find a way to make those dots connect. Trust me no amount of convincing on your part will make a lick of difference. They will dismiss you as a clingy guy with emotional issues, and the scary part is that they'd be right!
Question #2: What am I REALLY saying?
You getting all huffy about the affair shows a weaker position in the game. Though your words may scream manhood, your actions are far too emotional to be considered as such. When you hang up that phone thinking that you showed her a thing or three, really all you accomplished was demonstrating how needy you are (and how much higher you perceive her value to be above your own).
Think about it. If an UGLY person flaked you'd just be like "MEH, their loss". But throw in some nice knockers and an ass that won't quit and suddenly we are dealing with someone important!
Seriously, you think you are setting her straight but really all you are saying is "I am so angry at you for ruining my only chance at banging someone out of my league" It's a chump move, built on a paradigm of scarcity and desperation, hence the disproportionate investment/expectation in someone you don't even know.
Question #3: What's a bro to do?
After banging your head on this all-too-common wall - if you seek relief then reach for the aspirin that's been helping men put women in their places for millennia. It's called..
NOT GIVING A SH*T
Yep, if you really want to rig the game in your favor, nothing works better than pure, unadulterated APATHY for a woman's BS. Next time you are tempted to tell her all the reasons why you won't date a flake, do yourself a favor - STOP GIVING A SH*T! Delete her number, unFriend her and save all that energy and breath for game to lay on prospects that actually have a chance at panning out. It's called "cutting your losses", and its a necessary part of being successful.
Interestingly enough, the very act of you cutting her off will give her much more pause for reflection than an emotional outburst, which only serves to invalidate everything you say anyways.
It's a bigger ROI too, for less energy expended. Any successful person will agree - greater efficiency shrinks the space and time between you and your goals. While the next man is spending days waiting by the phone, getting into arguments and chasing dead ends, you cooly dismiss the ones that don't make the cut or just didn't work out.
Question #4: Not caring? Really? That's all I need to know??
I find it telling how many people call our mating rituals a "game" - but few ever truly outline what the basic rules/objectives are. For this I can only quote my cousin Jim, who is currently seeing 4 different women, all of them smoking hot. His rules are blindingly simple and almost make you want to laugh at the exhaustive volumes of pickup literature out there:
See, in order for a woman to truly feel attraction to you (once you have passed the physical scan), there must be some kind of magnetic vacuum to suck her in. This vacuum is typically characterized by her wondering how you feel about her - a certain intrigue, or as the French say "Je ne sais quoi". She knows you like and find her sexy, but is there something more? She has your attention but you are not "in the bag".
This is why wearing your emotions on your sleeve will almost surely get you disqualified. If you just met her and are already this emotional, then clearly you lack the understanding to give her what all women want - a mystery puzzle to unravel and talk to their girlfriends about. Take it from me - if she's not asking her girls for advice about you, waiting by the phone and wondering what you are doing right now, then you are not high on her list of things to do, and more flaking is GUARANTEED.
Question #5: How can I do this? I'm so angry at that stupid b*tch!!
The only way to achieve this mentality is to dismiss the notion that all your happiness and fulfillment comes from one particular p*ssy. You must embrace the paradigm of ABUNDANCE and realize that there are tons of hot women out there who are either single, or terribly frustrated by men who cater to their every whim or throw tantrums like sissies.
The good news is that there is no grueling effort here. All you need to do is gain some discipline and control over your irrational self. As a male this comes more naturally to you. All you need is another place to put your focus. Get up with friends- work on something meaningful for just have some fun - meet other prospects and keep playing!
Disclaimer
Of course like anything there is an exception to this general rule. If you are already seeing each other and she pulls something disrespectful you are entitled, no, obliged to correct her! But there is a way to do this which will make or break you in her eyes. The same basic principle of emotion applies:
Let's assume that she's always late to your dates and it's pissing you off.
Weak Pimp Hand
(agitated, whiny voice trying to sound tough)
"I have had it with you showing up late. It's really disrespectful and makes me feel like you really just don't care. Bla bla.. my feelings, you suck, etc..."
Yeah THAT'll work and totally won't blow up into an unnecessary bout of drama Funny thing is that guys who gush like this tend to fall on their own word and put up with yet MORE sh*t because the girl is pretty. Then they wonder why they get no respect DUHHHH!!
Strong Pimp Hand
(stated in a firm, matter-of-fact tone - with eye contact)
"I'm only going to say this to you once: If you are running late next time, don't bother showing up because I won't be here. Don't bother calling either because I won't have much to say to you"
Notice there is no wiggle room for debate here. You firmly set your terms and stick to them. Either she gets with the program or you do the worst imaginable thing to her - vanish. Again, this requires a certain level of inner game and conviction as a man. It is deeply rooted in the belief that you can meet a great woman anywhere and anytime, and in essence the current girl is expendable until she proves otherwise.
I tell you women are never more eager to please than when they are trying to prove themselves or lock a successful man down. It is this act of submission which gets them dripping with anticipation (and saving you a lot of work in the process)
Question #6: Should I NEVER speak to them again?
It depends on two things.
[1] The severity of their crime.
[2] The level of control you have over your own emotions.
If they did some seriously disrespectful sh*t like cheating/slander/betrayal, then it's only logical that they don't deserve the privilege of your company. Let them eat sh*t and die, such people do not deserve the time or power of your thoughts.
If it's something trivial or just outright annoying, and they don't listen to your first firm warning, then you should definitely distance yourself. But if you have a lot of [2], you don't have to burn the bridge, in fact you can reap untold benefits from LJBFing them.
In order for this to work though, YOU have to be the dumper! It's the only way to show that you mean business and stick by your word. No need to be an emotional assh*le about it either - Just treat em like they just lost an audition for a star spot, and can only hang out with you by kissing your ass, or introducing you to their hotter, smarter friends.
Question #7: Why are you posting something so obvious?
Common sense aint as common as you'd think. I'm seeing far too many of my bros falling into this trap. Please people - next time you find yourself rehearsing how you are gonna tell her off for not showing up or calling back, please STOP and get a f*cking grip on yourself, your nuts would be a good place to start.
Remember, letting emotions govern your actions is a woman's job, not yours!
I won't dismiss the value of expressing one's frustrations whilst simultaneously defending one's honor/boundaries - but a very subtle dynamic is at play here. One that is hard to see in the midst of a righteous rage.
If you feel the need to "tell off" a girl you just met, then you have already invested far too much energy into her bullsh*t to ever have had a chance to begin with.
(Yes that is a poorly constructed run-on sentence, but read it again till it sinks in.)
Most guys think that sticking up for yourself makes you a man, but I can tell you that picking your battles is infinitely more masculine, and effective.
To get an idea of what I'm talking about you have to ask yourself a few honest questions:
Question #1: What is the return on investment (ROI) for a call-out?
Frankly there is little to zero chance that your diatribe will have any effect whatsoever. Women are the grand wizards of backwards rationalizations. If they want to be right about something, then by God they will find a way to make those dots connect. Trust me no amount of convincing on your part will make a lick of difference. They will dismiss you as a clingy guy with emotional issues, and the scary part is that they'd be right!
Question #2: What am I REALLY saying?
You getting all huffy about the affair shows a weaker position in the game. Though your words may scream manhood, your actions are far too emotional to be considered as such. When you hang up that phone thinking that you showed her a thing or three, really all you accomplished was demonstrating how needy you are (and how much higher you perceive her value to be above your own).
Think about it. If an UGLY person flaked you'd just be like "MEH, their loss". But throw in some nice knockers and an ass that won't quit and suddenly we are dealing with someone important!
Seriously, you think you are setting her straight but really all you are saying is "I am so angry at you for ruining my only chance at banging someone out of my league" It's a chump move, built on a paradigm of scarcity and desperation, hence the disproportionate investment/expectation in someone you don't even know.
Question #3: What's a bro to do?
After banging your head on this all-too-common wall - if you seek relief then reach for the aspirin that's been helping men put women in their places for millennia. It's called..
NOT GIVING A SH*T
Yep, if you really want to rig the game in your favor, nothing works better than pure, unadulterated APATHY for a woman's BS. Next time you are tempted to tell her all the reasons why you won't date a flake, do yourself a favor - STOP GIVING A SH*T! Delete her number, unFriend her and save all that energy and breath for game to lay on prospects that actually have a chance at panning out. It's called "cutting your losses", and its a necessary part of being successful.
Interestingly enough, the very act of you cutting her off will give her much more pause for reflection than an emotional outburst, which only serves to invalidate everything you say anyways.
It's a bigger ROI too, for less energy expended. Any successful person will agree - greater efficiency shrinks the space and time between you and your goals. While the next man is spending days waiting by the phone, getting into arguments and chasing dead ends, you cooly dismiss the ones that don't make the cut or just didn't work out.
Question #4: Not caring? Really? That's all I need to know??
I find it telling how many people call our mating rituals a "game" - but few ever truly outline what the basic rules/objectives are. For this I can only quote my cousin Jim, who is currently seeing 4 different women, all of them smoking hot. His rules are blindingly simple and almost make you want to laugh at the exhaustive volumes of pickup literature out there:
Note: I'm not saying you should not care. Just don't care as much and that will put you ahead by a mile.MacDaddy Jim said:
See, in order for a woman to truly feel attraction to you (once you have passed the physical scan), there must be some kind of magnetic vacuum to suck her in. This vacuum is typically characterized by her wondering how you feel about her - a certain intrigue, or as the French say "Je ne sais quoi". She knows you like and find her sexy, but is there something more? She has your attention but you are not "in the bag".
This is why wearing your emotions on your sleeve will almost surely get you disqualified. If you just met her and are already this emotional, then clearly you lack the understanding to give her what all women want - a mystery puzzle to unravel and talk to their girlfriends about. Take it from me - if she's not asking her girls for advice about you, waiting by the phone and wondering what you are doing right now, then you are not high on her list of things to do, and more flaking is GUARANTEED.
Question #5: How can I do this? I'm so angry at that stupid b*tch!!
The only way to achieve this mentality is to dismiss the notion that all your happiness and fulfillment comes from one particular p*ssy. You must embrace the paradigm of ABUNDANCE and realize that there are tons of hot women out there who are either single, or terribly frustrated by men who cater to their every whim or throw tantrums like sissies.
The good news is that there is no grueling effort here. All you need to do is gain some discipline and control over your irrational self. As a male this comes more naturally to you. All you need is another place to put your focus. Get up with friends- work on something meaningful for just have some fun - meet other prospects and keep playing!
Disclaimer
Of course like anything there is an exception to this general rule. If you are already seeing each other and she pulls something disrespectful you are entitled, no, obliged to correct her! But there is a way to do this which will make or break you in her eyes. The same basic principle of emotion applies:
Let's assume that she's always late to your dates and it's pissing you off.
Weak Pimp Hand
(agitated, whiny voice trying to sound tough)
"I have had it with you showing up late. It's really disrespectful and makes me feel like you really just don't care. Bla bla.. my feelings, you suck, etc..."
Yeah THAT'll work and totally won't blow up into an unnecessary bout of drama
Funny thing is that guys who gush like this tend to fall on their own word and put up with yet MORE sh*t because the girl is pretty. Then they wonder why they get no respect DUHHHH!!Strong Pimp Hand
(stated in a firm, matter-of-fact tone - with eye contact)
"I'm only going to say this to you once: If you are running late next time, don't bother showing up because I won't be here. Don't bother calling either because I won't have much to say to you"
Notice there is no wiggle room for debate here. You firmly set your terms and stick to them. Either she gets with the program or you do the worst imaginable thing to her - vanish. Again, this requires a certain level of inner game and conviction as a man. It is deeply rooted in the belief that you can meet a great woman anywhere and anytime, and in essence the current girl is expendable until she proves otherwise.
I tell you women are never more eager to please than when they are trying to prove themselves or lock a successful man down. It is this act of submission which gets them dripping with anticipation (and saving you a lot of work in the process)
Question #6: Should I NEVER speak to them again?
It depends on two things.
[1] The severity of their crime.
[2] The level of control you have over your own emotions.
If they did some seriously disrespectful sh*t like cheating/slander/betrayal, then it's only logical that they don't deserve the privilege of your company. Let them eat sh*t and die, such people do not deserve the time or power of your thoughts.
If it's something trivial or just outright annoying, and they don't listen to your first firm warning, then you should definitely distance yourself. But if you have a lot of [2], you don't have to burn the bridge, in fact you can reap untold benefits from LJBFing them.
In order for this to work though, YOU have to be the dumper! It's the only way to show that you mean business and stick by your word. No need to be an emotional assh*le about it either - Just treat em like they just lost an audition for a star spot, and can only hang out with you by kissing your ass, or introducing you to their hotter, smarter friends.
Question #7: Why are you posting something so obvious?
Common sense aint as common as you'd think. I'm seeing far too many of my bros falling into this trap. Please people - next time you find yourself rehearsing how you are gonna tell her off for not showing up or calling back, please STOP and get a f*cking grip on yourself, your nuts would be a good place to start.
Remember, letting emotions govern your actions is a woman's job, not yours!
